And Now For A Goodfellas Reference / Tweet Of The Day

“Well we had a problem. Tommy’s gone. And there’s nothing we could do about it. He’s gone.” https://t.co/cuzYZB5rba

— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) December 29, 2020

Patriots Defensive Woes Fixed

A brilliant suggestion from the Boston Globe's Kevin Cullen^**:

It’s not on Cam, it’s on the defense. If only Sam could teach them how to tackle Buffalo Bills the way he tackled that Brookline Cop https://t.co/izq33Ddnry

— Kevin Cullen (Parody) (@KevinCulIen) December 29, 2020

The 'Sam' reference is, of course, to Sam Shaughnessy.

(^** = parody account)

Worst Case Scenario

Shank had a busy night last night. After the New England Patriots got mauled on Monday Night football by the Buffalo Bills, he bangs out a column about it and comes down heavy on coach Bill Belichick, natch:

Bill Belichick is living a worst-case scenario after moribund Patriots get crushed by Bills

Now we know what if feels like when the Tomato Can is on the other shelf; when the local coach is the one getting pantsed; when the Patriots are the team riding in the clown car.

The Buffalo Bills — Bill Belichick’s and Tom Brady’s personal punching bags for the last two decades — demolished the moribund Patriots, 38-9, on “Monday Night Football” at Gillette Stadium.

It was perhaps the worst night ever for the Hoodie in New England. He watched his special teams get suckered on a fake punt. He got mad and fired a telephone into a wall after getting bad advice on a challenge from aide de camp Ernie Adams. He watched his defense morph into Swiss cheese. And he gave New England the collective finger by sticking with Cam Newton to start the second half after Newton submitted yet another pathetic performance in the first two quarters.

Around the same time this hit the wires, Shank goes on a local sports show to talk about Celtics legend KC Jones' passing and other Celtics stuff:

Tonight on @boston25 Sportswrap at 11:15 @Dan_Shaughnessy joins us to talk stories about #TommyHeinsohn #KCJones and all things #Celtics @Bos25Sports pic.twitter.com/HvmEYp0RpX

— Butch Stearns (@ButchStearns) December 28, 2020

Now there's a face for radio!

DHL Dan CXVII - The Joe Mooney Tribute, Etc.

With little on the immediate Boston professional sports front, Shank drops his usual semi-monthly bag of Picked Up Pieces stuff:

Remembering Joe Mooney, a Fenway original, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting to say goodbye to a horrible year in which we lost so many favorite people . . .

Another Fenway legend passed away at the end of November when longtime groundskeeper Joe Mooney died in Wakefield at the age of 90. For three decades starting in 1970, Mooney had control of the Fenway grounds. Total control. Nobody stepped foot on Fenway’s sacred sod without an OK from Joe Mooney. Woe was any nitwit sportswriter who popped out of the dugout and walked on the grass without Mooney’s permission. That went for ballplayers, too. I can’t prove it, but I believe Mooney was first to utter the now ubiquitous, “Get off my lawn!’’

Definitely go check out the Joe Mooney stuff; the rest is worth punting on.

Dan Shaughnessy, Talking Heads Fan?

Actually I kind of doubt it but if a tweet I spotted a few minutes ago is any indication, we're in for a cliche filled masterpiece after the New England Patriots got stomped on national TV last night, 24-3, to the Los Angeles Rams. Let's count the ways, shall we?

The Patriots are on a road to nowhere after humiliating loss to Rams

There is blood on the tracks of the Patriots’ playoff path in the wake of the Rams’ 24-3 rout of New England Thursday night at SoFi Stadium in SoCal.

Ouch. The Patriots’ playoff map is now the path of most resistance, the road to perdition, >b>the highway to hell.

The Flying Elvises have checked out of their Hotel California and probably the postseason hunt as well. They are 6-7 and very likely will be watching the playoffs on television for the first time since 2008. Three games remain — all against the AFC East — but the Patriots need more help than You-Know-Who if they hope to salvage a playoff spot in this gritty, but lost campaign. Bob Kraft’s best hope might be to blame the whole thing on Dominion and petition the Supreme Court to overturn losses in California, Missouri, Texas, Washington, New York, and Massachusetts (twice).

From there, Shank blames things mostly on Cam Newton, which he (admittedly) stole at halftime from Terry Bradshaw doing the Fox halftime show.

You know the rest of the column already - a standard game recap and a few more shovels full of dirt on the Patriots' 2020 football season.

Another Belichick Masterpiece

Here's Shank's take on yesterday's beatdown win by the patriots over the L.A. Chargers:

This rout of the Chargers had everything Bill Belichick loves about football

They aren’t going to make it to the Super Bowl, they aren’t going to win the AFC East, and they are still unlikely to participate in the NFL playoffs.

But the 2020 COVID-19 Patriots are emerging as one of Bill Belichick’s favorite teams.

Sunday in Inglewood, Calif. — across the street from the spot where Kevin McHale flattened Kurt Rambis in the 1984 NBA Finals — we saw another Special Teams Palooza as the Patriots demolished the Los Angeles Chargers, 45-0, at SoFi Stadium.

This beatdown had all the stuff Bill loves: Blocked field goals returned for touchdowns; punts downed inside the 10; punts returned for touchdowns; Gunner Olszewski, the undrafted guy from Bemidji State, scoring two touchdowns and making a special teams tackle in the fourth quarter. It was a Special Teams Tour De Force that will hang in Belichick’s Leather Helmet Louvre near the Sankaty Head Lighthouse in Nantucket.

You know how it goes by now - positive columns from Shank when the Patriots win, negative ones when they don't.

DHL Dan CXVI - The Recycled Shaughnessy

In yesterday's installment of the Picked Up pieces column, Shank repeats a week's worth of local sports talk themes:

Whether the Patriots will soon make a change at quarterback, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering about the Patriots’ quarterback controversy . . .

▪ Cam Newton or Jarrett Stidham? Tom Brady vs. Drew Bledsoe, this is not. As bad as Newton has been, the belief here is that Bill Belichick stays with Cam until the Patriots are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Newton’s horrendous game last week vs. Arizona, coupled with his sudden appearance on the injury report (abdomen) fueled speculation that change is afoot and inspired folks at 98.5 The Sports Hub to conduct a “Who Should Start at Quarterback This Weekend?” poll in which 58 percent of more than 8,000 listeners wanted Newton. It makes for great headline/talk-radio fodder, but Belichick seems unlikely to make a switch at this time. There appears to be no rush to take a look at Stidham, and for all of his incompetence, Newton has the loyalty of his teammates. Belichick probably doesn’t want to do anything to dent morale or cost Newton incentive money. And Bill will tell anybody who listens that he still believes Newton puts the Patriots in the best position to win.

Rest at the link, including a Springsteen reference, of course.

Getting His (Jack The) Shot Off

Now that the unpleasant visual's out of the way, Shank tells a nice story about a Holy Cross / Boston Celtics basketball player who wasn't long for the latter:

Holy Cross legend Jack ‘The Shot’ Foley was aptly nicknamed

Jack “The Shot” Foley was a legend much longer than he was a basketball player.

Jack The Shot died of Parkinson’s disease Sunday in Barre at the age of 81.

Foley was raised in Worcester and set scoring records at Assumption Prep and Holy Cross. A skinny 6-foot-3-inch leaper, Jack The Shot was so good that Red Auerbach picked him in the second round of the 1962 NBA Draft, one round after selecting a kid from Ohio State named John Havlicek.

Bob Cousy, another Holy Cross man, was in the final year of his Hall of Fame career when Jack The Shot reported for duty with the world champion Celtics in December of 1962 (fulfillment of a Coast Guard obligation delayed Foley’s arrival in Boston). Cooz and fellow Crusader Tommy Heinsohn were happy to have another Cross man in the fold, but it was clear that Jack The Shot’s single skill would not be enough in the NBA.

Belichick Porn?

Shank said it, not me:

Special teams, short fields, turnovers, a knucklehead penalty? The Four Horsemen of Bill Belichick’s two-decade reign

It was a game only Amos Alonzo Stagg and William Stephen Belichick could love.

It was not a day of football artistry, not a good day for Cam Newton, not a good day for NFL officials, and not a good day if your fantasy fortunes hinge on big offense and over-the-top passing games.

But it was a win and the Hoodie no doubt loved it the way he loved every Army-Navy game in the 1960s. It was a day for special teams, goal-line stands, crucial turnovers, and stupidity by the opposition — the Four Horsemen of Belichick’s two-decade reign over the NFL.

Patriots-Cardinals won’t be the Face of the Franchise for the next edition of Madden NFL, but it was a special teams bacchanal. Belichick porn.

Nick Folk’s 50-yard field goal as the clock expired gave New England a 20-17 victory over the Cardinals and improved the Pats to 5-6. The Patriots don’t play in Foxborough again until after Christmas. They have upcoming trips to California (Chargers and Rams) and Florida (Dolphins). But in reality, we all know they aren’t going anywhere. They aren’t going to get gifts like this every week.

Other Than That, How Was The Game Shank?

It seems that Shank didn't like certain aspects of last night's game between the Rams and the Buccaneers:

Vomit-inducing: randy moss interviewing Gronk for MNF. Why not Deion Sanders and Antonio brown? Hate-watch is underway

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 24, 2020

I think we all know that Brady’s greatest weapon in 2020 is pass interference

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 24, 2020

Brady gets away with another fumble that’s not called. What a joke

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 24, 2020

'Hall' Guys

Today we turn to The CHB's favorite subject -- baseball -- and his favorite punching bags -- baseball players. 

Specifically, yet another Hall of Fame column column on the Hall of Fame. And, ad nauseam, a shot at David Ortiz for NOT being a talented ass like Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez and countless others who might well miss their opportunity at immortality.

"Big Papi has Hall of Fame numbers and is beloved by the baseball community, especially commissioner Rob Manfred. On the day Ortiz retired in 2016, Manfred flew to Boston and gave him what amounted to a presidential pardon, instructing Hall voters not to trust results of the 2003 baseball drug testing in which Ortiz came up positive."

Thankfully, this is just the lede of one of his lazy man "picked-up pieces" columns, so long-suffering readers need not suffer too long.

As we know, The CHB finds abhorrent any data more complicated than an RBI. So it's strange, but not out of form, that he takes yet another shot at the Red Sox, whose received low marks in a recent fan poll. 

Apparently, the Sox finished tied for last of the five major local pro sports teams (yes, the Revolution were included. Has soccer taken off yet?) for “most admired team for the way they run their organization.” But let's be real: Fans are fickle. The Red Sox had a shit year and people are down on the team. 

To further the point, when asked which team’s ownership has done the best job over the past year, the Celtics jumped 36 percentage points from a year ago, and the Pats fell 44 percentage points. 

These are constantly moving targets, like a Top 40 radio list. It's barely worth a mention, even in a Shaughnessy column.

This is the best part. In the same column where -- frontrunner that he is -- The CHB fetes Theo Epstein, calling him a future Hall of Famer, and credits him for the Sox World Series championship in 2018 (not a typo), he manages to excoriate him for being "a Moneyball, card-carrying member of Bill James Youth." 

So it's no surprise, a few grafs later, when he takes the the Red Sox to task for recruiting the wrong kind of staff: "... qualifications include 'advanced understanding of statistical methods or machine learning techniques, proficiency with modern database technologies including SQL, demonstrated experience with programming languages (e.g. R or Python).' So much for a veteran scout who can tell you when a young hitter has trouble with the curve."

Do you think he noticed that Theo's Bill James Youth methods led to (by Dan's count) three WS winners? 

How'd all those veteran scouts work out for the Red Sox between 1919 and 2003?

About as well as this column does.

Prediction Made

Shank seems pretty sure former Red Sox pitcher (and Shank bete noire) Curt Schilling will finally make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame this time around:

The ballot is out and Curt Schilling will be voted into the Hall of Fame when results are announced in January.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 17, 2020

This is the next to last year Curt can make the HOF. Like I mentioned last year, all Curt has to do is not say anything political from now until mid-January and he's a shoo-in, because Shank and a good swath of other HOF voters hate conservatives.

Pattern Detected

If you looked at Shank's New England Patriots columns this season you might notice a similarity in tone from those columns and this list:

Patriots fans season reactions

Wk 1: same ‘ole Pats
Wk 2: best loss ever
Wk 3: who needs Brady?
Wk 4: would’ve won w/ Cam
Wk 5: just gotta get healthy
Wk 6: wtf was that?
Wk 7: blow it up, have to tank
Wk 8: Cam is terrible, tank!
Wk 9: we won! But barely
Wk 10: playoff bound!

— Jordan Moore (@iJordanMoore) November 16, 2020

Via Boston Radio Watch.

A Sudden Change In Direction

Shank on the New England Patriots' playoff chances last week - It's dead, Jim. Shank on the New England Patriots' playoff chances last night - So you're saying there's a chance?

Midway through the third quarter, with the Patriots about to take a 23-10 lead on the Baltimore Ravens, NBC analyst Cris Collinsworth assessed the Patriots' prospects in the 2020 AFC East and uttered words that will be repeated 1 million times on Boston sports talk radio this week:

"They’re right back in it.''

Seriously.

The Patriots, who were 3-5 coming into “Sunday Night Football.”

The Patriots, who struggled mightily to beat the 0-8 Jets last week.

The Patriots, who have no Tom Brady, who had eight guys opt out, and are decimated with injuries.

Right . . . back . . . in it.

I’m not so sure about this. But after three weeks of hearing about Tanking for Trevor, New England’s narrative changed when the Pats beat the Ravens, 23-17, on a dark and stormy Sunday night at Gillette Stadium.

With seven games left in their season, the 4-5 Patriots trail the 7-3 Buffalo Bills by 2½ games. The Pats are two games behind the 6-3 Dolphins. But suddenly there is hope. Now we are going to hear about Tomato Can Houston (2-7) next weekend, December rematches with both Buffalo and Miami, and an expanded playoff format that rewards mediocrity.

From there we get a Rod Rust reference and a quote from Napoleon and the rest of the column is readable, devoid of the trademark snark and pessimissim.

DHL Dan CXV - Back On The Chaim Gang

Shank delivers another exciting Picked Up Pieces column, where he continues to bash Red Sox management (among other things):

Picked-up pieces while mourning the loss, and celebrating the life and times, of Tommy Heinsohn …

▪ Chaim Bloom is a devout man with the highest standards of integrity. Given the way he lives his life, was it hard for Bloom to hire a manager who got caught cheating?

“It was certainly something I had to wrestle with, that I had to think a lot about,” the Red Sox chief baseball officer acknowledged in a phone call Thursday night. “I didn’t take it lightly.

"I also came to the conclusion that it wasn’t something that should disqualify him. It wasn’t something that should be held so heavily against him that he should never work in the game again or that I would be unwilling to employ him again.”

It’s hard to believe rehiring Cora was Bloom’s call. Tuesday’s carefully crafted press conference didn’t convince me otherwise.

He also complains about Tom Brady, a new book titled "The Dynasty" because he thinks it was practically written by Bob Kraft, says more nice things about recently deceased Celtics legend Tommy Heinsohn, and thinks the college football season should be cancelled - right now.

The Tommy Heinsohn Column

Shank pays tribute to thr former Celtic, who passed on earlier this week.

No. 15 in the rafters. No. 1 in the heart of every Celtics fan.

Tommy Heinsohn. Boston Celtics. Impossible to separate, one and the same. He was a Hall of Fame player, coach, and broadcaster. If you are a New England sports fan under the age of 75, you have no memory of a time when Tommy Heinsohn was not part of the Celtics.

Tommy died Monday at the age of 86. It’s a huge loss. Bet he had some NBA draft tips he was ready to share with Danny Ainge and Brad Stevens. Tommy always had an opinion and never lost his fastball. Ask those smart young folks at NBC Sports Boston who remember a huge man in his mid-80s still driving himself to Burlington two or three times a week for lively, late-night analysis duty. Who does that at that age?

Alex Cora, Act II

Alex Cora was hired today as the next manager of the Boston Red Sox. Shank devotes a column to it:

A Red Sox fan’s dilemma: Does the return of Alex Cora make you happy or disappointed?

The Red Sox are bringing back Alex Cora to manage for the 2021 season.

How does this make you feel?

Just a reminder - Shank was on both sides of this one.

The Sox made it official Friday, anointing Cora as the 49th manager in team history.

As a Red Sox fan, does this make you happy or disappointed?

It’s been almost six weeks since the Sox fired Ron Roenicke after an uninspired, underperforming team finished in last place in the 60-game pandemic summer of 2020. In this span, Boston baseball boss Chaim Bloom has interviewed at least nine candidates, including Cora. None of the others were former big league managers. None of them were Alex Cora.

From there he goes on in that vein, with nary a hint of prior (dis)agreement.

...

Here’s hoping they play it straight. The Red Sox should just come out and tell everyone, "We believe in second chances. Alex Cora is our guy. He was our guy all along.''

Just say it, live with it, and move forward.

How long do you think the first serious losing streak of Cora's 2021 Red Sox season will need to be before Shank changes his tune once again?

DHL Dan CXIV - Truly Trivial

While waiting for another loss by the New England Patriots, Shank mails in a Presidents themed column:

My favorite sports trivia question of all time comes into play today.

As of this minute, there are four American institutions of higher learning that can claim 1. at least one student who went on to become President of the United States, and 2. at least one other student who went on to become a Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

Hint: Harvard is not one of the schools. Five US presidents were Harvard undergrads, but no former Crimson QB has won a Super Bowl ring. If Ryan Fitzpatrick somehow leads the Dolphins to a Lombardi Trophy in February, we can add Harvard to our list.

Yaaaaaaawn...

The Predictable Shaughnessy, A Continuing Series

It's not much of a surprise, is it?

For Patriots, Bills loss means it’s over: the division, the path to playoffs, and the dynasty

Off the bandwagon in what, three weeks? What a dismount this is!

Ghoulish. Halloween-worthy.

We have flat-lined this dynasty many times before today. We have announced that it is over for Bill Belichick and the Patriots. And we have been premature. Wronger than wrong.

This time it’s an easy call. There is no coming back from this one. A guy named Zimmer (DeForest Buckner was occupied at a game in Detroit) punched the ball out of Cam Newton’s hands in Orchard Park, N.Y., sealing a 24-21 Bills win and drawing the curtain on a 19-year run that included 17 playoff appearances, nine Super Bowls, and six Lombardi Trophies.

The Patriots are not very good this year, but until now, they still had a chance. They still had a path to the playoffs. A win against the Bills Sunday would have enabled them to pull to within 1½ games of Buffalo with nine to play. A win against the Jets next Monday would have made New England 4-4 and positioned the Pats to win the AFC East for the 12th straight season.

The game recap, as well as the season & dynasty burial, is the rest of the column.

DHL Dan CXIII - The Usual Crap

Shank's latest missive reads like a laundry list of complaints and a glaringly obvious setup:

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Billy Beane somehow comes out of all this being sports editor of the Globe …

▪ If the Red Sox are looking for the All-Time News Dump opportunity, Tuesday would be a good day to raise ticket prices, or perhaps bring back cheatin' Alex Cora.

As pointed out previously, Shank was for Alex Cora before he was against him.

▪ Have you given up on the Patriots for Sunday? Not me. This isn’t “We’re on to Cincinnati” in 2014, but the third-place Patriots will beat the first-place Bills in Orchard Park. I don’t care about injuries, or players putting their homes up for sale, or how bad the Patriots have looked the last two weeks.

The Bills forever will be the Bills, and Bill Belichick’s 35-5 record vs. Buffalo in the last 20 years distorts my vision. New England has won 17 of its last 20 games against Buffalo. Believe the history. For at least one more week.

The Patriots are three point underdogs on the road. I'm not optimistic about this game - if the Patriots played anything like they did last week it'll be another shitshow. I'm certain Shank's doing this rope-a-dope thing so he can take a searing dump on them after the game.

Read on for more of the same.

Kicking The Tomato Can Down The Road

Behold - the column Shank's been waiting to write for nearly twenty years:

Now it’s the Patriots who look like the Tomato Cans

First we get the 2020 Red Sox.

Now this.

Where is Trent Dilfer when you need him? It’s times like this we need a national pro football analyst to declare that the Patriots aren’t good anymore.

If football games were matched with calendar years, Sunday’s Patriot debacle vs. the San Francisco 49ers would be 2020.

Jimmy Garoppolo (Why Can’t We Get Players Like That?) and the Sons of Joe Montana demolished the once-proud Pats, 33-6, at Gillette. It was the most-lopsided home loss of the two-decade Bill Belichick era. This one was so bad that Patriot-loving CBS didn’t even give us the “let’s fawn all over Bob Kraft” shot from the owner’s box.

The glee in which he writes this column is obvious in each and every sentence, and I fully expect another column of the same ilk sometime this week.

Time To Shit On The Patriots

What do you get when you combine the New England Patriots losing record in 2020 with Shank's disingenouous nature? An awful column, that's what:

The 2020 Patriots have kept me in suspense — and I’m a fan of it all

Are you a sports fan or a Patriots fan?

Some of us are both, but Shank wants you to pick one or the other.

If you are a sports fan like me, you are loving this Patriots 2020 season, because from week to week you don’t know what’s going to happen.

You buying that line of bullshit?

If you are a Wilfork jersey-wearing Patriots fan, you are not loving this 2020 season … because from week to week you don’t know what’s going to happen. I know I am outnumbered. Don’t care. This is so much more fun.

Read on to see Shank revel in the first subpar start the Patriots have had in two decades.

Unforgettable

That's the theme for Shank's latest column as he goes back nearly half a century to recall some of the best stuff in World Series games.

My unforgettable World Series moments over the last 43 years

NOT IN ARLINGTON, Texas — There are a million great things about being a sportswriter (a million and one if you count reader comments that accompany online missives). Big events create a timeline of your life. It’s one of the things I’ll miss as I stay home while the Dodgers and Rays slug it out at Globe Life Field.

I can’t claim a streak like the Washington Post’s great Tom Boswell, who this week wrote about not attending the World Series for the first time since 1975. Bos covered 44 straight Fall Classics and 252 games. I have press passes from 30 World Series.

Some collectible moments:

▪ Game 6, 1977. Yankees-Dodgers. Yankee Stadium. Reggie Jackson hits three homers on three swings to clinch the deciding game. It’s my first Series as a reporter, and in a dangerously packed postgame clubhouse, I get squeezed into Bill White’s live ABC-TV interview with Mr. October.

It’s a Gumpesque moment that lives forever online, and I still get asked about it when the Yankees replay the scene on the stadium video board during rain delays.

A solid column; go check it out.

He's A Hard Man To Please

The Boston Red Sox have announed plans to spiffy up the area around Fenway Park. Our Man Shank can only respond with sarcasm:

Swell. The Liverpool Red Sox are relentless in efforts to improve the local baseball team. This is why fans love ownership. https://t.co/iiyn7CfRjU

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 19, 2020

DHL Dan CXII - Alex Cora Watch

Isn't it funny watching Shank ragging on the Red Sox for their role in the 2018 sign-stealing scandal and at the same time pine for the guy at the center of the whole thing?

Picked-up pieces while wondering whether the Patriots and Broncos will actually take the field at Gillette …

▪ News that the Red Sox are bringing back their entire coaching staff, minus Jerry Narron and Craig Bjornson, means one of two things: either Alex Cora is the “new” Red Sox manager or the Sox are going to hire a puppet to carry out the wishes of the nerds in the front office.

Here’s hoping it’s Cora. Meet-the-new-boss-same-as-the-old-boss makes a lot of sense for the Red Sox. There was a high level of comfort with Cora in the corner office. He worked well with ownership and baseball operations. Players loved him, especially Xander Bogaerts, Christian Vazquez, and Rafael Devers, who are the core of the team. Devers is simply a better ballplayer with Cora in the dugout.

Did Cora take a few liberties with the rule book? He did. But the Red Sox are in no position to stand on principle at this hour. They need a star and they need a proven commodity. Cora is both. With Cora as manager, the Sox also could bring back Ron Roenicke as bench coach. Not the worst idea.

Now that's convenient! I'm sure you know the grab bag of topics follow this one.

Baseball's Dying, But Not In The Way Shank Thinks

Shank takes note of the rather large numbers of former baseball players passing on:

Hearing that another baseball Hall of Famer died strikes me as a macabre metaphor for the sport I love.

Judging by the manner in which he writes about sports, I'll have to call bullshit here.

This has been a year of isolation, lockdown, fear, and death. The daily obits (“the Irish Sports Pages”) have been required, lengthy reading for old-timers like me. And October 2020 feels like the month of death.

In the darkness, we have a Cooperstown carnage. Joe Morgan died Sunday. Last week, it was Whitey Ford. The week before that, it was Bob Gibson. In September, Lou Brock. In August, Tom Seaver. In April, Al Kaline.

Shank goes on from there to chronicle what definitely looks like the many deaths of former MLB players, and it's sad to note. That said, the 'isolation, lockdown' that Shank bemoans is a completely, 100% self-inflicted wound by the honchos running MLB (and other sports, for that matter) by shortened seasons and especially the lack of crowds at the stadiums, making the game difficult, if not impossible, to watch.

Shank The Scold II - A Continuing Series

The National Football League seems to want to get on with professional life. Shank, naturally, has a problem with it:

How does the NFL continue its season as postponements and positive COVID-19 cases pile up?

Decades from now, football historians will talk about this NFL season the way folks today talk about Major League Baseball during World War II.

Wait, you mean the St. Louis Browns were in the 1944 World Series? And they played the Cardinals? And every game was played in the same ballpark?

People will look at the 2020 NFL season and wonder how it was that the Patriots postponed games three times in eight days in October. Why did they fly to Kansas City, play a game, and come home on the same night? Why did they start Brian Hoyer at quarterback? Why did they go almost a whole week without reporting for practice at Gillette Stadium?

Second guessing, one week after the fact - classic Shank. A ratioanl sort may ask - what good does a one or two day delay in playing games actually accomplish, other to than fuck things up? Why not simply remove players & personnal with positive tests from the team until they've quarantined? Does that make too much sense for the likes of Shank?

Skip the bullshit that comprises most of the rest Shank's column and let's cut to the chase:

The arrogant NFL needs to stop its presidential pretending that COVID-19 is a mere nuisance that might change the date of the sacred Super Bowl. It’s more than that. It’s about the health and safety of the players and their families. The virus has plans that Roger Goodell cannot control.

As I pointed out on Thursday and what this column still reflects - the Wuhan flu / coronavirus is precisely a nuisance. With the litany of reported positive tests I still have yet to read about any NFL player or staff member becoming sick or hositalized from the virus (fun fact - most people under 50 years of age don't get sick from this or any other virus unless they have contributing factors), and it bears repeating if it does happen, these sports chumps will be at DEFCON 1 calling for everything in the NFL to come to a screeching halt. Until that happens, it's rightly called a nuisance, much like Shank's presence at a press conference.

Does anyone remember 'duck and cover', the thing taught to schoolkids in K-12 during the 1960's and 1970's that in the case of a nuclear explosion you just hide under your desk and that's all it required to escape the devastation of a thermonuclear bomb going off? If you're within five miles of the blast radius your chance of going from 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit to 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit within a second is at 100%, and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it, never mind being downwind from all that fallout. The lockdown measures and ensuing mentality reek of this similarly idiotic mindset. Even the WHO, after months of bullshitting the entire world, now finally admit that lockdowns should be a last resort because they cause serious economic damage in its wake. Might want to take that last one to heart, Shank & company...

A Love-Hate Relationship, Explained

If it weren't for the fact that there's always a losing team, Shank would have nothing to write about.

This pithy comment tells you almost all you need to know about the mindset of Dan Shaughnessy. Most people watch sports because they enjoy sports. Then there's this guy:

A different kind of love-hate relationship: Rooting against Tom Brady, LeBron James, the Lakers, and the Astros

The older I get, the longer this pandemic goes, the more I love to hate-watch.

How many of you are surprised at this revelation?

I’m not talking about CNN, Fox News, or the debates. That’s easy. Everybody hate-watches that stuff. I’m talking sports.

With the Bruins, Celtics, and Red Sox all done, and the Patriots barely playing once a week, the daily sports hate-watch has become my sustenance. It’s a reason to go on living. It’s one of my four major food groups.

Makes one wonder what the other three are...

Thursday night was hate-watch heaven. We got to see Tom Brady smiling through the pregame, telling everybody again how it was time to leave New England. Tom wanted warm weather and more fun. Swell.

Then we watched the Buccaneers commit a million penalties in a 20-19 loss to the Chicago Bears. Even better, we saw 2020 Tompa Tom looking like 2019 pouty Tom in New England. Brady yelled at his teammates. He was Mr. Frowny Face all night long. When it was over, he ran off the field without acknowledging the Bears’ Nick Foles, a pedestrian QB with a habit of beating Brady.

That's enough negative bullshit for me - go ahead and read the rest, if youre into self-flaggelation.

Shank The Scold, Probably A Continuing Series

Care to guess the latest Boston Globe nitwit to go into semi-hysterical overdrive over a single positive Wuhan coronavirus case?

The NFL knew the risks. But they let the Patriots play the Chiefs anyway

Just what are the risks, you may ask?

The NFL’s almighty “Shield” did not protect Stephon Gilmore and his family.

The risks were obvious when the Patriots decided to take two planes to Kansas City for Monday night’s game. One plane, flying out of Providence, carrying around 20 players and team personnel, was reserved for people who had been in close contact with Cam Newton, who tested positive for COVID-19 on Friday. Another aircraft, flying out of Logan, transported everybody else in the Patriots party, including Bill Belichick.

Gilmore, the NFL’s Defensive Player of the Year in 2019, was on the “higher-risk” flight, according to Patriots spokesman Stacey James. Gilmore tested positive for COVID-19 on Tuesday.

Watch the Watergate like accusatory tone that follows:

The NFL knew. The Patriots knew. They knew this might happen and they did it anyway. The NFL badly wanted the marquee matchup of the Patriots vs. the Chiefs, which is why a bunch of people who’d been exposed to a guy who tested positive were herded into airplanes, buses, and a locker room at Arrowhead Stadium. It was as if medical decisions in NFL headquarters were decided by the white coats at Walter Reed. Decisions were made on hope and TV ratings instead of science.

Science!

He keeps goping on in that vein for the majority of the rest of the column. At this point I cannot stand any further commentary on this issue from Boston Globe sportswriters who are too fucking stupid or arrogant to admit being exposed to this virus isn't a trip to Death Row; far from it in the overwhelming majority of cases, which is nearly all of them. As far as I can tell, few if any NFL players have come down as sick or hospitalized and you can bet your ass these same assclowns would trumpet such news far and wide if that happened in order to keep this charade going. That tells me right there it ain't happening.

If this douchebag continues to bleat about the Wuhan coronavirus, then fine - I'll continue to treat his commentary like the pinata-laden fodder it is.

Strange Days Indeed

Shank does the obligatory column after a Patriots loss, natch:

Just by playing, this game was as strange as it gets, and the Patriots actually had a chance to beat the Chiefs

The Patriots had a chance. After a preposterous couple of days, Bill Belichick’s masterful game plan and a stunning TD strike by relief quarterback Jarrett Stidham had the Patriots trailing by a mere 3 points (13-10) against the Super Bowl champs in the second minute of the fourth quarter.

And then it all went away in a hail of turnovers and missed opportunities as the Chiefs beat New England, 26-10, drawing the curtain on one of the strangest days in the history of the Patriots franchise.

Strange Patriots things follow, including the obligatory Clive Rush reference!

There have been some bizarre moment in the Patriots’ six decades. There was that time new coach Clive Rush was nearly electrocuted when he grabbed an microphone that was not grounded at an introductory press conference. There was the time the Patriots played a “home” game against the Jets in Birmingham, Ala., in 1968. There was the night in Miami when owner Billy Sullivan suspended coach Chuck Fairbanks hours before the Pats took the field at the Orange Bowl in 1978.

At least Shank generally supports the fact that they played the game, which is more than can be said about his fellow columnist Ben Volin, who wanted the game to be cancelled over two positive tests and seems to think being exposed to the Wuhan Flu virus is something akin to a death sentence. It is not. You know the rest - standard game recap and all that.

DHL Dan CXI - Pats Lose By 40!

Shank throws out the latest Picked Up Pieces column, and it's exactly what you've come to love and expect:

Picked-up pieces as the Lakers get ready to tie the Celtics with a 17th championship banner . . .

At least that one will have an asterisk next to it, given the chopped up & abbreviated season this year.

▪ This probably means they’ll lose by 40, but put me down as one who thinks the Patriots will beat the Chiefs Sunday.

Well, I thought a similar thing two weeks ago when the Patriots went to Seattle and played the Seahawks, but that game went down to the last play.

And now - a serious head case basketball player!

▪ More than ever, Kyrie Irving presents as a delusional fool. His latest beauty came when he went on Kevin Durant’s podcast, insulted ex-teammates in Cleveland and Boston, then gave new Nets coach Steve Nash a warm welcome, saying, "I don’t really see us as having a head coach . . . We don’t need someone to come in with their coaching philosophy and change everything we’re doing.''

On occasion, some people need a serious ass kicking.

The rest of the column is the usual grab bag of topics.

Much Like The Boston Globe, Then

Fresh off of burying the 2020 Boston Celtics, Shank sets his sights on the basement dwelling 2020 Boston Red Sox:

You know things are bad when the Red Sox are irrelevant

John Henry, Tom Werner, Sam Kennedy, and Chaim Bloom did the impossible this summer: The custodians of Boston’s once-beloved baseball franchise made the Red Sox disappear — not an easy trick considering the ballclub’s 120 years of institutional relevance.

The disappearance of the Red Sox had little to do with the coronavirus.

I'm not so sure about that. There were a lot of things that were thrown into kilter with the Wuhan virus, and spring training preparation, among other things, would suffer as a result. Granted the pitching staff looks like a complete shitshow but I'm not certain if that can be attributed strictly to poor GM decisions.

In some weird ways, COVID-19 probably helped the Red Sox. The pandemic allowed the Red Sox to give up on a season without hearing a single boo at Fenway Park. The Sox were allowed to tank in almost total anonymity. They were the falling tree in the proverbial forest; if a team tries to lose games in an empty ballpark with hardly anyone watching on TV . . . does it make a sound? Did it really happen?

Shank goes on from there to make his case, which is good to solid. Read on for more tales of the HMS Titantic 2020 Red Sox, or what's left of them.

Baby, You're No Good

After the Boston Celtics bow out of the Eastern Conference semifinals, Shank does the inevitable post mortem:

Let’s face it, the Celtics are not as good as they think they are

If you like basketball you know the right team won.

The Miami Heat, worthy in every way, beat the Celtics, 125-113, in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals Sunday night and will advance to the NBA Finals, where they’ll play LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers starting Wednesday night. LeBron vs. Pat Riley. Pretty sweet.

Let the record show that the 2019-20 Celtics in no way deserved to win this series. They gave it a pretty good run, but in the end they presented as front-running posers who folded whenever a game went into crunch time. Green Teamers should face the fact that these Celtics — who are fawned over and comport themselves as if they’ve already put some banners in the Garden rafters — have won nothing yet.

I didn't watch enough of the series to know one way or the other; it's really difficult for me to watch sports without fans in the stands. I do know that the Celtics had no answer to Miami center Bam Adebayo; he tore up the Celtics in Game 6.

Eruption

No, not that eruption! Shank's talking about last night's game, an emphatic Celtics Game 5 win over the Miami Heat:

Dream big, Celtics fans. The Green Team has done this before.

The Celtics overcame a 12-point deficit, scored 41 points in the third quarter, and beat the Miami Heat Friday, 121-108, to extend their Eastern Conference finals series to a sixth game. The Celtics are attempting to become the 14th NBA team to crawl out of a 3-1 series deficit.

Sunday will be one of the great sports TV days in Boston history. We’ve got Patriots-Raiders at 1, Tom Brady at 4:25, and Celtics-Heat in Game 6 at 7:30.

Shank “It’s back to basics,” Celtic coach Brad Stevens said after his team’s big second half. “We need to be better again in Game 6.”

This looks like a classic rope-a-dope - write nice things about the local teams when they're winning, then blindside them when they lose. The rest of the column is a stroll down Celtics memory lane and the standard game recap.

Shank's Back On The 2020 Red Sox Bandwagon

Awww - who am I shitting? Nobody!

Big market Red Sox succeeding in their quest to assemble anonymous no-star team #tampabaybythecharles https://t.co/o61N7cwjh2

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 25, 2020

This guy . . . https://t.co/scwgdsTyF3

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 25, 2020

Second Guessing, By Dan Shaughnessy

Here's our man Shank, playing Monday morning quarterback:

It got lost in the shuffle, but Pete Carroll's decision to allow a home run pass play instead of a run play on 3rd-and-one after 2-min warning is what allowed the Patriots a chance to win. This is almost as dumb as the slant pass on the 1 in Super Bowl 49.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 21, 2020

Fortunately he does not do this all the time but in some respects I think this kind of commenting is irritating and pointless.

You Never Know

Shank sure called it last night:

With Bill Belichick opposing Pete Carroll, you just never know what will happen next

Sunday Night Lights.

Seahawks 35, Patriots, 30.

Clear eyes, heavy hearts, can’t win.

I don’t know about you, but I could watch these teams play one another for the next 14 weeks of the NFL regular season. It’s great fun to watch the 69-year-old Pete Carroll match wits with the 68-year-old Bill Belichick. The Seahawks have beaten the Patriots three times in four games since 2012, losing only the one that counted: Super Bowl XLIX.

This one went down to the final play of the night when Cam Newton was upended in front of the goal line as the clock ran out, denying the Patriots a last-second, come-from-behind victory. Down, 35-23, with less than three minutes to play, the Patriots seemed hopelessly out of this game, but roared back in the closing seconds — thanks in large part to yet another head-scratching play call by Carroll, who went for a home run when a 1-yard run would have iced the game after the two-minute warning.

I thought the Patriots were gonna get smoked, so even a loss in this situation's not too bad.

Bad News For The Celtics Is Good News For Shank

The Boston Celtics got beat like a rented mule last night (mostly in the third quarter) by the Miami Heat. Shank, not unsurprisingly, gets a column about the extra curricular activities in the locker room after the game:

Celtics have gone quickly from feel-good story to family feud

The Celtics have won one championship in 34 years and yet we still talk about them as if they are a dynasty.

Do you talk about them like they're a dynasty? I sure don't. The Red Sox won it all in 2004 and 2007 and I don't recall them being called a dynasty; maybe from some quarters they were. The Patriots however, are another matter, and the Bruins can't be in that conversation, not having won Lord Stanley's Cup in years near or next to each other.

Brad Stevens has never won a championship anywhere and we talk about him as if he’s Red Auerbach or Bill Belichick.

Again - what's with this 'we' shit'? He's simply using the plural form to pretend more people are on board with this notion than they're actually are.

Now this. The Celtics just blew two playoff games, and we have a locker room of young players yelling at one another, throwing things off walls, questioning their coach, and perhaps being restrained from attacking one another in fits of anger.

With a chance to advance to the NBA Finals, we have a team that has blown leads of 14 points and 17 points in back-to-back losses to the Miami Heat.

I didn't watch the entire game (barelyt watched it at all, with an entertaining NFL game on and a buddy coming by to run a few games of cribbage), and that third quarter spurt by the Miami Heat was my roommate's observation. Shank points out some contributing factors as to how Boston and Miami came into this series and then brings up the question of whether they can rebound from all of this (pun fully intended!) and you damn well know whose name he's gonna drop:

The Celtics can rebound from this. When the 1984 Celtics were routed by the Lakers in Game 3 of the Finals, Larry Bird said, “We don’t have the players with the heart sometimes that we need … We played like sissies.”

Those guys came back to win their series in seven games.

What about the 2020 Celtics?

...

It’s time for Stevens to step up. Give us a little less Fred Rogers and a little more Fred Smerlas. Go Cro-Magnon for a few days. Challenge your players' manhood. Call out some of your young players in the media. Draw up a zone offense. Throw the picket fence at the Heat and tell them not to get caught watching the paint dry.

It’s time for the 2020 Celtics to summon the spirit of Red and Russell and Cousy and Bird. Time for them to stop losing games and throwing chairs. Time for the 2020 Celtics to earn the everlasting love they always get around here.

Starting Saturday night in the bubble.

I have to say I agree 100% with this notion. Maybe the locker room argument / fight sets another tone, like another infamous singular act did back in 1984. I'm really surprised he didn't mention that play; that was a clear series turning event. Let's see how this one turns out and I hope the Celtics can come back from this and kick ass.

Tied To The Whipping Post

Is it me or is there always one Red Sox player Shank feels to need to shit on?

J D Martinez sitting on the Mendoza Line as we await his second at bat in Miami.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 17, 2020

Just call him JD Mendoza. https://t.co/VAPmtsCnHL

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 17, 2020

Off By A Year

I was making the call around this time last year, but today Shank finally throws in the towel:

ONE FINAL DAN'S DATES: Tuesday, September 15, 2020. Shaughnessy no longer part of 98.5 SportsHub midday. After Tuesday's with Zo, Beetle, Gresh, and Tanguay, it's over. Enjoyed it.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 15, 2020

He's poorly bullshitting us with that last half-sentence. We at DSW have documented numerous times where, for instance, Scott Zolak would tweet something sarcastic ar Shank (or respond to one of his in a similar manner) and who could forget the near world record Shank set in the 20 yard / two room office steeple chase and escape? I'm not buying that line of his claiming he 'enjoyed it', and neither should you. I can't wait for the scuttlebut / rumors that will inevitably come out from this.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Watch as fellow curmudgeon sports guy Tony Massarotti shocks the hell out of everyone and drops a beat on yesterday's Felger & Mazz show:

Big O just forfeited tomorrow’s rap battle. https://t.co/6liYGD5BBc

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) September 15, 2020

Scoreboard Shaughnessy

Is this Shank's new thing for the 2020 football season?

Bill Belichick 1.

Tom Brady 0.

We are only one week into a 16-game season, but Belichick on Sunday took an early lead in the silent, subliminal spitting contest regarding who was most responsible for the greatest sports dynasty of the 21st century.

It was business as usual for Belichick as the Patriots beat the Dolphins, 21-11, at Gillette. With no Brady, no fans, and no help from eight players who opted out because of COVID-19, the Pats beat the Fish easily. Belichick is still the greatest coach of all time, the Dolphins are still Tomato Cans, and New England’s new quarterback Cam Newton is a pretty good runner. The Pats are 1-0 in the coronavirus era.

You know the rest from there - boring game recaps we've read (or avoided) for decades now.

The Tampa Bay Bradys?

The NFL finally returns to start their 2020 season and already Shank is acting like a huge douchenozzle:

Are you ready for the first all-Boston NFL doubleheader of the 2020 season?

For the first time since the Boston Braves and Red Sox split the affections of Hub hardball fans, we have two professional teams playing in the same major league.

The New England Belichicks kick off Sunday on CBS at 1 p.m. The Tampa Bay Bradys play on Fox at 4:25.

Are any of you as irritated as I am when Shank says stupid and unfunny crap like this? Does he think he's being clever or witty? Well, I'm pretty sure he's the only one.

The Belichicks, a.k.a. the New England Patriots, open their season vs. the Miami Dolphins at an empty Gillette Stadium. There will be no cheerleaders, no musket men, no Brady, and no guarantee of winning the AFC East for the millionth straight season.

First off - I'd like to continue to point out how god damn lifeless any professional sports event is without fans in the stands, and now we get insult added to injury by not having cheerleaders to boot? Last night's game between the Chiefs and the Texans had 22% of the stadium filled with fans, who were wearing masks, doing social distancing and all that bullshit. The risk that's run by continuing to shut fans out would be to make this situation worse. We now have, from a financial perspective of an NFL franchise, no gate revenue, no parking lot and concession stand revenue and (this is the big one) an all but guaranteed reduction in future TV rights the next time the contract gets negotiated because the suits at the networks will not pay the same level of broadcast fees to the NFL & its teams when the viewing numbers dip or fall off the cliff. How long can the NFL (and team owners) risk a permanent reduction in its fan base and still expect the same TV revenues? It's not going to happen, and something will have to give. That 'something to give' is a fucking no-brainer in my book - start returning to normal, like yesterday.

The Bradys, formerly known as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, will play the Saints in the empty Superdome in New Orleans. Playing as the Buccaneers for a half-century, Tampa Bay was the losingest team in professional sports. Most recently, the Bucs have finished last seven times in nine seasons. All that is expected to change now that they are the Bradys.

God damn, this asshole's really pissing me off now...

We will be watching. Both games. This weekend and every weekend.

The problem is - a lot of other people won't be watching and the NFL, like all professional sports franchises, better figure out and fix this problem before the the damage is irrreversible.

Oh - Shank continues on with the Belichicks and Bradys shtick - screw that; I'm outta here.

Gut Check

No, Shank is not talking about his efforts at weight loss but about tonight's Game 7 against the Toronto Raptors:

It’s time for a Brad Stevens team to step up and win a gut-check game. The 2020 Celtics will be defined by what happens in Game 7 against the Toronto Raptors Friday night in the Orlando bubble.

Impressive grasp of the obvious...

Six games have established that the Celtics are better than the Raptors. It’s been clear throughout this series. Boston won the first two games, and led Game 3 by 2 points with 0.5 seconds left. The Celtics were a half-second away from a de facto sweep of the defending NBA champs.

Wait a minute - this is a seven game series, and the Celtics were going to sweep the series with three wins? Am I missing something here?

Oh, it's a de facto sweep - silly me!

OG Anunoby’s miracle three gave Toronto new life, but the Celtics recovered and thoroughly pantsed Toronto in an easy Game 5 win. The Raptors needed two overtimes and some critical calls Wednesday to force a seventh game.

I'm not sure I buy that logic; after all of that they're tied with three wins each.

So here we are. To advance to the NBA’s Final Four, all the Celtics have to do is beat a clearly inferior Raptors team.

This is it. No excuses. No complaining about Nick Nurse complaining (maybe Brad could find his inner Red Auerbach and get in the ears of the officials now and then). It’s time for these Celtics to demonstrate that they are as good as their blindly loyal fan base says they are. Time for the Celtics to put on their big-kid pants and fulfill the great expectations fans have for them.

You may have noticed by now the 4,624th interation of one of Shank's finest column templates - place huge (and perhaps unrealistic) expectations on the local pro sports franchise so you can take the mother of all shits on them if they lose ('they simply aren't that good', etc.). Time will tell but I'm a little more certain of this now than I was when the Bruins bowed out of the playoffs.

Boston Radio Death Watch - I

First, to the proprietor of the Boston Radio Watch Twitter page - I do not mean you! I've been following you for months now, maybe closer to a year and it's one of my go-to sites every day, often a few times during the day.

Second, Boston Radio Watch just linked to a story about the two local PBS / NPR affiliates, which are WGBH and WBUR, respectively. Even with presumably large financial backing courtesy of the American taxpayer, the are in the parlance 'consolidating certain operations':

Rivals GBH, WBUR team up on new podcast with local news

By Don Seiffert – Managing Editor, Boston Business Journal

Boston’s two rival public radio stations, GBH and WBUR, will be working together for the first time on a new daily podcast that combines local and national reporting from across the National Public Radio landscape.

Starting today, listeners in Boston will hear a new version of the NPR podcast, “Consider This,” which comes out in the afternoon and includes both national and community news from that day.

GBH, which recently changed its name from WGBH to emphasize its digital media platforms, and WBUR, which is affiliated with Boston University, are two of a dozen stations across the country contributing to the project.

But only Boston and Los Angeles are in the position of having two stations in the same market working together, according to Pam Johnston, general manager of news at GBH.

Both Johnston and Margaret Low, CEO of WBUR, expressed mutual admiration for each other’s organizations in separate interviews today, while maintaining that despite the partnership, they do in fact remain competitors.

Asked about the rivalry, Low said, “Let me put it this way. Only a wonderful town like Boston could support two such great radio stations…. We may compete in the marketplace, but we’re great admirers of each other.”

Likewise, Johnston said that the two stations “absolutely” remain rivals. “We’re not putting our competitive side aside,” she said. “It’s about being able to reach our public radio audience in a new way.”

Both Johnston and Low are relatively new to their organizations, with Johnston starting in June and Low beginning in her role last November. But the rivalry dates back to 2011, when WGBH first changed its format to more directly compete with WBUR. At the time, then-new general manager at WBUR Charlie Kravetz sharply criticized WGBH for the change, saying “This marketplace did not need to have two public radio stations with the same format… If either station flourishes, it will be at the expense of the other.’’

Jon Abbott, CEO of GBH, defended that decision in an interview last year, saying, “I spent two years after we made the launch in community meetings with my board saying, this is not a nine inch pie plate. It's a 15-inch pie plate, or bigger.… What we know is that the overall number of Bostonians, the overall number has increased in those who are compelled to come and spend time with public radio.”

Neither GBH nor WBUR are adding any extra expenses to create the new podcast.

NPR says that it’s partnering with sponsorship vendor, AdsWizz, to deliver this localized news in the same way podcast publishers deliver any localized sponsorship content.

You know why I copied the entire article? It's because I can - it's pretty easy to get around subscription blockers once you get the hang of it. A larger point - most of you that listen to regular radio are familiar with names of former Boston radio stations - WBCN, WFNX anmd WAAF being just three of the more notable stations that have disappeared over the past decade. One would think WGBH and WBUR by virtue of public financing ought to be able to weather all financial storms, but like their sister organization the Boston Globe (in the ideological sense), none of them can escape the fierce financial gravity of today's media environment.

Boston Globe Death Watch - XII

The end must be near if you're pathetically begging the owner of your corporation for your collective jobs:

Well, @John_W_Henry dumped Mookie Betts and just laid off a bunch of @RedSox personnel. I hope he sees your value, but
... https://t.co/KASfkMq7YL

— Bruce Allen (@bruceallen) September 8, 2020

The level of entitlement on display here is astounding. Learn to code, bitchez!

A Friendly Reminder From Dan Shaughnessy

Shank would like you to know what's happening with the 2020 version of the Olde Towne Team:

Mission Accomplished: At this moment, the Red Sox (15-29 -- .340909) are the worst team in baseball.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 9, 2020

As a person who appreciates high-level math, I'm pleased to see Shank carry the 'winning' percentage out to six digits. Accuracy is everything!

DHL Dan CX - The Red Sox Are Really Bad, Aren't They?

Shank has some fun shooting fish in a barrel:

Thoughts on the last-place Red Sox and other topics Picked-up pieces while watching the embarrassing parade of meatball artists the tanking Red Sox send to the mound every day . . . ▪ Does winning four World Series in this century give Red Sox ownership a lifetime pass for biennial last-place finishes and the Triple A product we are seeing now?

Yes. Next question / complaint?

The Sox are about to finish in the cellar for the fourth time since 2012. In 80 seasons from 1932-2011, the Red Sox finished last exactly once (1992 under Butch Hobson). Now the Sox lead the majors in losses and we’re about to see the fourth basement finish in nine seasons. The tanking we’ve seen in the last three weeks is worse than anything the franchise has put fans through since the pre-Yawkey era of 1926-32. And yet still we have NESN feeding us the “Heat Zone” item that features a random “hot” Sox player who has better stats than some slumping Blue Jay. There’s also a Predict The Game app, treating sophisticated Sox fans like 7-year-olds.

Demonstrating once again - if there wasn't a losing team Shank would have nothing to write about. From there, he says nice things about the Celtics, basically calls Patriorts coach Bill Belichick a liar and rags on the Bruins a bit. In other words, the usual stuff

Rewriting History, A Continuing Series

New York Mets pitcher Tom Seaver passed away earlier this week. Shank lets his imagination run wild:

Tom Seaver was the prince of New York City. He was the greatest New York Met of all time and there is no close second. He was the Franchise, Tom Terrific, the Hall of Fame ace of the 1969 Miracle Mets. Books were written about him, movies were made, and when it was learned he died this week, all three New York metropolitan dailies ripped up their front pages and started anew with tributes to Tom Seaver. New York, New York. That was Tom Seaver. But he also pitched the final games of his career for the Boston Red Sox in 1986. And if he hadn’t hurt his knee in Toronto in late September, he would have started Game 4 of the World Series against the Mets instead of Al Nipper. With Seaver in the rotation, I believe the Red Sox would have won that haunting World Series.

NOTE - the new verson of Blogger isn't taking line / page breaks into account, thus resulting in one big paragraph. I'll figure out a solution / workaround when time permits.

Don't Count Them Out

Shank gives us an update on the Celtics and Bruins in the 'playoffs':

You’re never as good as you look when you win and you’re never as bad as you look when you lose.

Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver said this regularly back in the 1970s when the Orioles were usually very good. Earl’s wisdom is my takeaway from a weekend watching the Celtics and Bruins.

The Celtics are up. The Bruins are down.

The Celtics demolished the defending World Champion Toronto Raptors, 112-94, in the Orlando bubble Sunday afternoon. It was the first game of a best-of-seven conference semifinal and gave a legion of Green People hope that their team can advance to the conference finals and maybe make it to the NBA Finals for the first time since 2010.

A decent column ensues from there. Can't wait for the sudden attitude change if, for example, the Bruins lose tonight.

Standing Small

Recent events compel Shank to criticize the 2020 Red Sox more than he usually does:

In a week of American protest and crisis, the Red Sox stood small

The quaint notion that what has happened in Kenosha and elsewhere this week are mere protests is world class sophistry. These are riots by any reasonable / logical definition. Look at this guy's thread and tell me otherwise. Andy Ngo's by far and away the number one chronicler of these riots that Shank and other media rumpswabs try to pass off as protests. False premises like this need to be taken out back and tossed in the dumpster.

The Red Sox are not only a horrible baseball team, they are also ever-divided. And really hard to like.

After playing a game Wednesday — the day the NBA shut down and three major league games were postponed — the Sox had a team vote Thursday and agreed to stand behind Jackie Bradley Jr., who had told his teammates he wasn’t going to play Thursday. In the early hours after the decision to boycott was announced, Sox outfielder Kevin Pillar and reliever Ryan Brasier made their true feelings known.

Participating in a Zoom news conference, Pillar said, “It was not an easy decision for a lot of us . . . We all have different beliefs. We don’t agree on everything . . . I don’t think right now, as a country, we should be necessarily identifying individual groups of people that need to be uplifted . . . ’'

Worth noting - the presence of these ellipses suggest / confirm that Shank (or the guy he copied it from) is doing what's known in the recording business as sampling; in other words using parts and sections potentially taken out of context and other pertinent and inconvenient facts removed for maximum negative impact. That said, I see nothing incendiary about those two semi-sentences. Clumsy for sure, but that's it.

Not to be outdone:

A few hours after Pillar spoke, Brasier retweeted a video mocking Doc Rivers’s emotional response to the Jacob Blake shooting in Kenosha, Wis. It’s truly hateful and appalling stuff. See if you can find it. Search Twitter for Hodgetwins — conservative comedians with almost 600,000 followers. Brasier evidently is a big fan. Pinky Higgins would be so proud. Color me haunted.

Brasier’s retweet was discovered Friday by NBC Sports Boston’s John Tomase. Brasier did not respond to Tomase’s request for comment, but he deleted the retweet from his timeline. Ron Roenicke said that Brasier reached out to Bradley and the Sox manager to explain his actions. Wonder what Brasier would say to Rivers, whose father was a cop.

I'm sort of two minds with this guy and what he did - on the one hand, getting in trouble for a retweet seems incredibly petty. On the other hand (and the one I'm going with) is that Brasier's always seemed like a knucklehead to me and this merely provides confirmation. Doc Rivers is a class guy par excellence and that was a no-thought classless thing to do.

No, I did not miss the Pinky Higgins reference / name drop -of course not! I'm not a baseball historian / aficionado like my co-blogger, but the guy sounds like a real winner (please note the sarcasm, folks!). You'll see some other name drops later on that you're going to love...

I spoke with Sox baseball boss Chaim Bloom after midnight Friday.

“I talked to Ryan about this today,’' said Bloom. “He was very apologetic and regretted the timing, and the message that the timing sent. He took down one of those tweets and spent time having a lot of conversations in our clubhouse with people he felt he needed to have conversations with. He was upset and regretful about the entire thing . . . This wasn’t something that we felt warranted discipline. He made a mistake, but once he did I think he took a lot of the right steps to try to make amends.’'

This is so Boston Red Sox. In a week of American protest and crisis, the Sox stood small while so many around them demonstrated dignity and unity. While America paused to take a long look in the mirror, the Red Sox provided division and continuation of a culture that has long plagued the Boston baseball franchise.

Again, these aren't protests anymore; they are riots, complete with bullhorns, looting, fire and physical assault, and they haven't been 'protests' for quite a while to the degree they ever were. Siding with rioters and calling it 'dignity and unity' seems to have things like priorities seriously inverted. Fortunately these riots are largely confined to ten or fifteen downtown areas of certain major American cities controlled by Democrats lock stock and barrel for a period on average equivalent to my age.

“You bring any group of this many people together, you’re bound to have people with different views and different thoughts,’' said Bloom. “Peaceful protests are about changing minds. If we can’t look at progress that gets made towards a goal in a room of people with very different opinions — if we can’t look at that and see progress, then we’re undermining our own goals.’'

“We don’t demand that everyone have the same political opinion,’' added Sox CEO Sam Kennedy.

Good. This is America. You are not obligated to agree with everyone else, and a big league ball club doesn’t release a player for being a dumbbell.

Everyone got that? Now watch this:

But why can’t Pillar and Brasier keep their different views behind closed doors? This was an opportunity to back a teammate without pushing one’s own agenda. Most other teams presented as unified. Would a little unity from the Red Sox be too much to ask?

Pillar was asked a question and presented his own viewpoint, albeit roughly. Braiser? He's a knob and not getting a pass on that - a lot of times shut the fuck up is the better part of valor. That said, Shank just contradicted himself in consecutive sentences, and not for the first time.

I truly wish these 2020 Red Sox could play in front of fans at Fenway. It would expose them to the boos they so richly deserve. And not just because they are 10-22. They remind me of the loathsome Joe Kerrigan Red Sox of 2001. Mike Lansing. Carl Everett. You remember those guys, right?

An awesome blast from the past! Behold, the Bing results from typing in 'curly haired boyfriend' - this post is now writing itself!

These Sox certainly honor the ball club’s time-tested legacy of “25 players, 25 cabs.” They have only one Black player, just as they did when they were baseball’s last team to integrate 60 years ago. And they can’t seem to agree on anything.

Remember last year when the defending world champs were summoned to be honored at the White House? All the white guys went to Washington. With the exception of J.D. Martinez and Sandy Leon, all the Sox persons of color stayed home.

That's because it has become a politicized event, aided and abetted by media members like Shank.

Opening night at Fenway, 2020? All the visiting Orioles took a knee during a pregame presentation dedicated to Black Lives Matter. Six Red Sox kneeled — Bradley, Michael Chavis, Alex Verdugo, and three coaches who are men of color. Everybody else stood.

Now we have the last-place Sox stacking loss after loss like a pile of cord wood, then going public with clubhouse division during a week of protest and reflection by every team in every sport.

After Friday afternoon’s unfortunate flurry, Bradley, Brasier, and the rest of the Red Sox participated in a pregame ceremony at Fenway commemorating Jackie Robinson’s first day in baseball. When all players stood at attention, I couldn’t help but wonder what Ryan Brasier was thinking.

I alluded to this point two posts ago, but it bears repeating and a bit more expansion - there's a big difference between overt, direct acts of racism like barring people from businesses, pro sports teams and the like (which I see little to no evidence of in modern American society today) and in the case of Jacob Blake in Kenosha (which apparently triggered this latest pro sports boycotting this week), claiming solidarity with a black man wielding a knife and roaming around menacing other people and when white cops intervene lots of people freak out and call the cops every fucking name in the book. These two things could not be any more different from each other but here we are with some degree of American citizens accusing law enforcement and those who support them of the most vile and wicked motives and behaviour for the act of doing their jobs.

I'm quite sure we don't need to 'reflect' on the notion that thugs are allowed to rampage certain American cities and call the cops racists for doing their jobs.

Boston Globe Death Watch - XI

I'd call this 'arranging the deck chairs on the Titantic'.

Boston Globe employees were told Wednesday that employees should continue to work remotely through the end of the year, although they may choose to come in to the office for no more than two days a week after Labor Day. What follows is the top of the memo from the Boston Globe Media Partners executive team, which I obtained from a trusted source.

Hello all,

On behalf of the Executive Leadership Team and Safety Committee, we want to provide some important updates and clarification on opening the Boston Exchange Place / 53 State Street office, as well as the Rhode Island and Washington, D.C. offices. We have talked before about how the Boston office would reopen after Labor Day to serve as an optional amenity for people who needed a break working from home, and that it would still be limited to not more than two days per week. We want to emphasize that while we greatly miss being together, not only are you not expected to return work in person, but we do not want or need for you to come in.

We are arranging the office to be safe for people who want to use it on a limited basis, but the preference is that you continue to work from home. We have been monitoring the pandemic and will continue to respond based on state guidelines, but in the meantime, we are extending this phase of limited, optional-only use of the office through the end of the year.

To be clear, we want the Boston offices to be as empty as possible for the remainder of 2020. While we realize that there could be an expectation that managers may want you to show up in person, or that you may miss out on an opportunity if you are not in the office, we want to dispel that notion by emphasizing that managers do not and must not expect you to return to the office for the remainder of the year. If you have concerns or questions about this, please talk to your manager or reach out to your HR partner to discuss.

UPDATE AT 2:12 PM - You see, it's much easier to fire people this way!

The 'Shut Up And Dribble' Column

I don't know about you but I'd rather watch sports without politics being added on. In recent times, this has become difficult if not impossible. Witness the latest iteration of the sports protest:

I’m getting “shut up and dribble” emails these days.

I'm not exactly sure why Shank should be getting these kind of e-mails; maybe better to send them to the players not shutting up and not dribbling? Again, with these e-mails to Shank (I'll say it - if they exist) - you're sending them to the wrong guy. But whatever:

This is what happens when professional sports figures speak up and act regarding issues of social justice and racial inequality:

“My wife and I decided to watch a Sox game on a Saturday night. We waited until 7:10 to start viewing to avoid any political action. We feel sports should be an escape and fun. Sports is for sports. I do not care what their religious, political, or ethnicity is. Bringing signs into the ball park is wrong. Do whatever they want outside, not inside. I do not need to sit for hours watching millionaire athletes protesting. I will try the NFL on opening day but starting at 1:10 p.m.”

My general reaction - 'fine, I'll do or watch something else'. At this point I don't freak out about it or complain too much anymore; I just change the channel.

The Celtics and Toronto Raptors are scheduled to begin their conference semifinal Thursday night in the Orlando bubble, but players from both teams spent part of Tuesday and Wednesday discussing a boycott of Game 1 to bring attention to the shooting of Jacob Blake by a police officer and subsequent protests and violence in the streets of Kenosha, Wis.

That's all that Shank writes about the latest police incident involving white cops and a black man. This is wise, as additional information and details are coming out about the incident, with that last link (best I can find right now whilst doing a post) coming out an hour or two after Shank's column. These additional facts and details may or may not change one's opinion about the matter.

Celtics stars Jaylen Brown and Marcus Smart have been out front on racial inequality issues throughout America’s long hot summer. It’s in the best tradition of the Boston Celtics.

“Shut up and dribble” folks likely will never accept any spillover of real-life issues into professional sports, but let me remind fans of the Celtics that issues of race and equality have walked hand-in-hand with the franchise since Red Auerbach came to Causeway Street in 1950.

Red was the first NBA executive to draft a Black player, Duquesne forward Chuck Cooper in 1950. Six years later, Auerbach exploited racism in the St. Louis Hawks front office, trading two white players for the Hawks’ No. 1 draft pick. Red used the pick on Bill Russell. He knew St. Louis had no interest in building its franchise around a Black center.

Shank goes on with some sad but interesting tidbits about previous Celtics teams joining in on boycotts, and it's worth a read.

I'd like to make the following point / distinction: What Shank talks about are things that directly affect the players and the team, and what current and other NBA players are now boycotting based on what happened to someone they don't know based entirely on the fact that white cops and a black man were involved. They will argue 'systemic racism' and 'police brutality' (or how Shank generically says 'social justice' and 'racial inequality'), but considering what is known so far, I find those
accusations spurious at best. Should the cops simply let knife-wielding men roam around menacing other people in order to avoid being labeled racists and thugs? Sad to see that being a question at all.

Just What The Boston Globe Needs - Another Shank

Bruce Allen has some fun with the Boring Broadsheet:

Must love baseball and be willing to pledge fealty to John Henry. The ideal candidate will exhibit skill in disdaining and trolling readers, football knowledge not required. https://t.co/jQjEYN4SKD

— Bruce Allen (@bruceallen) August 25, 2020

Sorry, Bruce - that position's already taken!

The Once In A Blue Moon Column

Imagine your surprise at finding Shank's latest column actually has a positive, upbeat vibe to it?

How do you feel about a Distance Championship Parade in October? With virtual Duckboats? Are you ready for a million-strong Zoom rally with Zdeno Chara or Jayson Tatum tossing a bucket of Gatorade at Mayor Marty Walsh from 6 feet away?

Close your eyes and imagine Jack Edwards in NESN’s Watertown studio, waxing poetic about the Bruins’ 2020 Stanley Cup champions. Try to imagine Scal standing alone on Causeway Street, waving Celtics Banner No. 18 and insisting Tatum is better than Larry Bird or Bill Russell.

Our winter sports teams are white-hot here in late August (no one has ever written that sentence before), and Boston woke up Monday morning with that old championship feeling.

Not to go Full Rochie on you here, but events over the weekend have me in a happy place regarding the fortunes of the Bruins and Celtics. It might never feel better than it feels right now, so why not enjoy the speculation and the daily playoff action?

I fully expect this attitude to change with a few losses by either team.

Lockdown Dan

I guess it's not much of a surprise to see that strains of health puritanism would make it to the Boston Globe's sports section, as Shank believes the BC Eagles shouldn't play football this fall:

The list of bad ideas introduced to Boston sports fans through the years is long and winding. The Red Sox once tried to sell us Jack Clark. Then Bullpen by Committee. Now they’re all about Payroll Flexibility. TD Garden officials thought it would be a swell idea to reconfigure seating in the lower bowl of the arena last year. Oh, and remember the campaign to bring the 2024 Olympics to Boston?

Now we have the crazy notion that the Boston College Eagles are planning to play their ACC football schedule this fall while our region tries to get back on its feet in the middle of a global pandemic.

For the record, the Wuhan coronavirus is now considered an epidemic, which is a disease less prevalent in a population than it is in a pandemic. I'm certain the CDC downgraded the virus to this epidemic status a month ago, but they don't seem very willing to advertise it explicitly (and easily findable) on their website. In any event, one of the tricks I don't appreciate the media playing is this exact sort of bullshit. By continuing to call it a pandemic they keep doing the media's Prime Directive, which is scaring the shit out of people.

What in the name of Buddy Garrity is going on around here? Who do we think we are — Clemson, S.C.? Odessa, Texas? Tuscaloosa, Ala.?

Seriously. I understand folks who live in football hotbeds going for this. But Boston, a place where absolutely nobody knows your name if you are associated with college football? Boston, a hub of science, medicine, high-tech, and deep thinking? We are going to have big-time college football here on autumn Saturdays in 2020?

So, if it's not popular we shouldn't do it? Like me not reading your newspaper?

We knew Harvard and Yale weren’t going to play this year. Same with the Patriot League, the NESCAC, and all the quaint little schools that play small-time college football. Those were easy calls. Even Division 1 pretenders UMass and UConn had the good sense to pack away the shoulder pads for the fall. Massachusetts high school football is also closed for the season.

But BC is planning to play North Carolina, Pitt, Georgia Tech, Notre Dame, and Louisville in an empty Alumni Stadium. It’s hard to escape the conclusion that BC is going forward to protect its share of ACC TV money. The Eagles’ slice of the ACC pie is in the neighborhood of $30 million annually.

So, you overlooked that league affiliation thingy back there, didn't 'cha?

I won't bore you with the rest of it but he repeats the notion a few times - we're in Massachusetts, not Georgia or Florida and thus they shouldn't be playing. How dumb of an argument is that? By the way, that's the primary argument and health concerns are of a secondary importance. Just look at this bullshit conclusion:

We are Boston. We are about science and knowledge.

This is insanity. And it’s dangerous.

What is insane and dangerous is continued efforts to lock people down and restrict their freedom of association (or movement, at a physical level) and it all that entails in the name of a virus that is slightly more infectious and roughly as non-lethal as many of the others I've lived through. The widespread lockdowns and declaration of sizeable portions of the economy as 'non-essential' and thus forced to close shop is a) unprecedented in my lifetime, b) does have harmful side effects and c) will always be seen by me as a galaxy-class fuckup by those in charge of these measures, most of them fucking Democrats.

But let me instead talk about the players. It's bad enough there will be online courses (they simply aren't the same thing) but for all of them, they are also there to play football and if / when a few of them make it to the NFL or CFL, all the better. My buddy Eddie swears up and down that the experience of hanging in a college locker room getting ready for and playing college sports is like nothing else, and I don't doubt it for a second. Shank's position deprives them of this opportunity. To hell with that - let's get back to our normal lives, the sooner the better.