So Jon Lester is the antidote, the savior, the solution. Just spend whatever it takes to get him, and that's the panacea the Red Sox are seeking.
Don't get me wrong: What's not to love about Lester? He's been a big part of two World Series wins, and he's held up under severe scrutiny during and after the "chicken and beer" controversy.
But he'll be 31 when the season starts next April, he has a lot of mileage on him, and he's going to be very, very expensive. All of which are trivialities The CHB mocks, per usual, pointing to John Henry's comments from last spring about what empirically constitutes a good or bad baseball deal, and emphatically arguing "hopefully [that] philosophy is out the window."
How painful it must be for The CHB to continue to be proved wrong. Three World Series titles in 10 years ... doesn't that make Henry and Co. perhaps just a little smarter than your average baseball guy? Not one iota, according to His Shankess. The 2013 World Series win was a "fluke," he says, as if it's possible to win 97 regular season games (tied for the best record in baseball) and then go 11-5 in sweeping three playoff series on luck alone.
Outbidding the world on Lester comes down to "being competitive in the marketplace," argues The CHB, again forgetting those three trophies. (Since he is so clearly suffering from dementia, I've posted a photo below to help jog his memory.)
Should Red Sox management go long and deep on Lester when there's actually a better, younger pitcher available on the free agent market? Readers will never know, since Shank doesn't even acknowledge the existence of Max Scherzer.
And yes, The CHB appears to have forgotten his own questioning of Lester's integrity back in February.
I don't know what's ahead for the Red Sox, but I see a dementia screen in Shank's future.