Sunday, April 13, 2014

Abject Nonsense

Today we are treated to Shank's conversation with himself over the merits of the Red Sox, some 13 games into the 2014 Championship Season.

It's a column filled in equal parts with the patently obvious -- "it’s very early ... put baseball on the shelf and check back to see where the Sox are in mid-June when the Stanley Cup playoffs are finally over" and plain old "duhs" -- "with each day that passes we are reminded just how hard it is to win 97 games and just how unlikely that championship ride was last October."

But there's also lots of crazy projections from the man who wouldn't know a sample size if the urologist dumped it on his head: "They don’t have a leadoff hitter. They don’t hit with runners in scoring position. They are running into outs, don’t have much depth, and a lot of the career-year heroes of 2013 ... have come back to earth."

And he perverts the English language with a phrase -- "abject genius" -- to describe the Red Sox front office (yes, that's the same group that put together last year's World Series winners), a description that is as confounding as it is ill-suited. 

Peppered throughout the piece are references to Simon & Garfunkel and the theme song from The Lego Movie. Perhaps The CHB should start channeling that song from Frozen: "Let It Go."