Thursday, July 11, 2013

Monthly Update

Shank hasn't written a column for a few weeks, so we're treated to a monthly recap of the local professional sports scene.

Two things to note - he's using the column to suck up to the Red Sox; I wasn't aware that you could rebuild a bridge that Shank clearly nuked a few months back:
3. Red Sox. No team in baseball has more wins. And now that John Henry appears serious about buying the Globe (don't do it! - ed.), I must admit that, upon further review, everything the Sox do is just swell with me.

Since you have been away you need to know that the Sox have eight walkoff wins, love one another unconditionally, and clearly have the best chemistry in the history of baseball. The Sox lead the majors in runs scored and apparently can win the World Series without a legitimate closer. David Ortiz — teetering on the brink of outright release three years ago — has discovered the fountain of youth and simply gets better every day. Truly amazing. Jose Iglesias is putting up numbers that would make Rogers Hornsby blush and an outfield of Jonny Gomes, Daniel Nava, and Mike Carp is infinitely superior to those lean years when the Sox only had Jim Rice, Fred Lynn, and Dwight Evans. I am not the least bit worried about the Tampa Bay Rays, who have a cake schedule and just got David Price back. The Yankees and Orioles (both five back in the loss column entering Wednesday) also appear to be mirages. The Red Sox have 25 great guys who love each other. They are the envy of baseball. And John Henry might be the greatest human being who ever lived.
Also, Shank continues his jihad against the Patriots:
4. Patriots. Supreme tight end Aaron Hernandez has been arrested for murder, is a suspect in a 2012 double homicide, and owns a trail of guns and violence that resulted in at least one punctured eardrum and one lost eyeball. Some of this happened before the Patriots made the decision to reward him with a $40 million contract extension last year. Tuesday, Patriots owner Robert Kraft (looking more and more like Ralph Lauren and/or Hugh Hefner) broke the franchise’s extended silence and told a handpicked trio of reporters that the Patriots were “duped,’’ while still clinging to the whopper that it was Hernandez’s idea to donate $50,000 to the Myra Kraft Giving Back Fund when Hernandez signed his extension.

Please. Duped? This is an organization that requires media members to report to “security command,” then videotapes useless press sessions involving coach Bill Belichick and said reporters. Nothing is left to chance at Gillette Stadium.

Duped? Did Belichick ever talk to old pal Urban Meyer about this kid? Did the Patriots speak to any of their own players (check out the Matt Light quotes) before deciding that Hernandez, not Wes Welker, was the guy who should get the long extension and the bag of money? Players don’t know everything about one another. But they know whom they like and whom they trust.

The Patriots can’t win this one. They are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
And Shank will do his best to keep it that way. He'll milk this one for the next two years.


Monkeesfan said...

Of course Shank will never remind us that he and the rest of the Mainstream Sports Media said NOTHING about Aaron Hernandez until he was caught red-handed destroying evidence in Odin Lloyd's murder. To make such an admission is a victory for the enemy, after all - Shank cannot let the Patriots be right.

Shank approvingly cites Matt Light's after-the-fact quote about Hernandez to indict Belichick - does Shank know Deion Branch has publicly stood up for Hernandez? Of course not - that would make Belichick look good, and he's also the enemy.

As for giving Hernandez instead of Wes Welker the big contract, Shank's refusal to understand all the nuances of football is at work here, else he'd understand Hernandez was the superior receiver and that Welker was getting all those catches because someone else (Randy Moss, Hernandez, Gronk - I remember both Lindy's and Athlon Sports' NFL preview magazines stating outright that Hernandez was the tougher matchup for opposing defenses than Gronkowski) was drawing away the defense.

But then after all it IS too much to expect His Shankness to actually UNDERSTAND sports, isn't it.

mike_b1 said...

This is Barry Bonds and steroids all over again.

Think The CHB will be sent to cover the hearings?