Short at Center

Today, Mr. Grumpy has in his sights Jacoby Ellsbury, calling him "greatest flight risk since Whitey Bulger."

Now, yes, it is just a tad extreme to compare a baseball player to the man who topped the FBI's Most Wanted list for years, and who is accused of murdering more than a dozen people. Then again, excrement extreme is what The CHB is known for.

But Shank's crystal ball tells him that the Red Sox are "not going to contend next year with him in center field." Never mind that Ellsbury was runnerup in the AL MVP race just last year. Clearly, he sucks.

The CHB insists the Sox "must trade" Ellsbury immediately, but in the next breath notes Ellsbury's apparent brittleness and lack of performance: "He’s not even Carl Crawford this season. Trade the dude." How are the Sox to get quality in return for this apparent sack of crap? The CHB never gets around to saying. Keep in mind, Shank was the one who insisted the Red Sox keep Kevin Youkilis, who is just as brittle as Ellsbury (not to mention older and less valuable), and for whom the Red Sox already had more-than-capable replacements, and whined like a two-year-old that they didn't get enough in return for him. But no matter. That was two months ago, and drinking does hamper the memory.
 
And The CHB cites Bill Ballou of the Worcester Telegram. Is that the same Bill Ballou who has repeatedly said Bill James has been right? The same Bill James The CHB routinely mocks?

Parting shots: "ESPN was here, Wednesday night, which meant sharing the press box, elevator and media bathroom with Nomar Garciaparra and Curt Schilling. That’s a lot of awkward for one night, don’t you think?" Only if you are, you know, a dick.