Sunday, May 20, 2012

Cellar Dweller

Shank would like to remind his readers one more time that the Boston Red Sox are last in the American League East.
PHILADELPHIA — They are the last-place Boston Red Sox.

It has become part of their name. They are no longer just the Red Sox. Just as the Wallendas are the Flying Wallendas, and the Bosstones are the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, the Sox are the last-place Red Sox.

Cellar dwellers. Basement boys. Bringing up the rear.

When I was a kid, we had a dumb joke about the Washington Senators. Washington was first in war, first in peace, and last in the American League.

And now the Red Sox are the bottom-feeders of the AL East. Sorry, but it’s hard to get my head around that one.

We are not talking about a tiny sample. After Sunday’s game, the Sox will have played more than one-quarter of their season. And they have been in last place every day of the season. It’s simply hard to believe.

A year ago, they were touted as a 100-win team. “Best Team Ever’’ was the infamous Herald headline. They stumbled out of the gate, then lived up to the billing, playing 40 games over .500 for four months.
I can't get my head around it, but damn, do I like writing about it! Also, remember that Shank was one of the touters.

The rest of the column wallows in its last placedness, and a few quotes from Bobby Valentine & Dustin Pedroia.


mike_b1 said...

Of course, The CHB fails to recognize that most prognosticators picked the Phillies to win their division, yet they are in last place too.

Even better, wasn't it The CHB who on April 3, 2006 said the Red Sox would win the AL East? (They didn't.)

And wasn't it The CHB who, writing in SI in October 2010, said the Yankees would regret not winning the AL East because it meant they would not open against the "weaker" Texas Rangers? (For the record, the Yankees won the ALDS and then lost the ALCS to those "weaker" Rangers.

Based on The CHB's track record, I'd run, not walk, to your nearest bookie and bet the farm on the Sox to win the WS.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, mike_b1! Great to see some commentary again on this blog.

ObjectiveBruce said...

Dan Shaugnessy Watch.

c. September, 2005 - May 20, 2012

Requiescat In Pace

mike_b1 said...

OB, you goofball. This site writes more than The CHB does.

rich said...

Come back, Dan Shaughnessy Watch! There's been so much going on, including Shaughnessy's despicable work during the Celtics-Heat series.

Anonymous said...

For OB:

"When I was very young, I was foolish enough to believe that our Creed would bring an end to all these conflicts. If only I had possessed the humility to say to myself, I have seen enough for one life, I've done my part. Then again, there is no greater glory than fighting to find the truth."
―Altaïr to his son Darim during the 1257 Mongol attack on Masyaf.

For Shank:
"I have seen what comes of those who raise themselves above others."
―Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

To All:
"Men must be free to do what they believe. It is not our right to punish one for thinking what they do, no matter how much we disagree!"
―Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad (1165–1257) was a Syrian Assassin during the Middle Ages and, from 1191 until his death, the Mentor of the Assassins in the Levant.