Friday, August 07, 2009

Chicken Little, Swiss Miss

Chicken Little? Shaughnessy takes one loss to the Yankees and is ready to close the door on the Red Sox playoff chances (“Suddenly, the thought crosses the mind that the Red Sox might not even make the playoffs.”)

Little Swiss Miss? I swear you can set a watch by this guy. This piece was so bloody predictable (and consequently so is this blog entry), that it is past comical.

That being said, I really cant argue with Chicken Little’s basic premise. Definitely lots of warning signs about the Red Sox. I just wish for once he would deviate from the mad libs cookbook approach to writing.

And maybe he is trying….but sadly, even his attempts fall apart…He tries to go Bill Simmons on us and suggest that Earl Weaver’s “reverse lock” theory is in play. He says the theory is that when a team has no chance to win, said team will prevail because of that.” What? Is he suggesting the theory held last night because the Yankees had lost 8 in a row to the Sox and thus had no chance of winning? Let’s see, the Yankees have been playing well and the Sox? Not so much. The Yankees are at home and the Red Sox trot out Smoltz who stinks? Does not seem to me that the basic assumptions underlying the reverse lock theory are in play.

Throw in an obscure reference (Fred Wenz? I admit I had to look it up – pitched for the Sox and Phillies in 68-70 timeframe) and a shot at Ortiz for not talking to the press (eventhough he has scheduled a press conference for tomorrow) and you have another putrid entry from the region’s best sportswriter.


Roger Bournival said...

I came looking for lame, dated song references and Shank leaves me hanging...

Anonymous said...


My routine is to check out the The Watch before deciding to read The Shank.

Dave M. thanks for the insights. I now choose not to read today's Shank material.

Funny how many of the media darlings that, about 6-8 weeks ago, were predicting a Sox runaway this season are not out there stating their mea culpa.

But the media can harass the athletes if they don't give them the time of day.

Predictably flip-floppish.


Anonymous said...

Roger - but it is always nice to see a shout out to the minions.

G - thanks for your posts. The tide has turned - check out Chicken Little from about 8 weeks ago

Dave M

ObjectiveBruce said...

It was deliciously obscure, but the reference to Fred Wenz was apt; he insisted on being called "Fireball," much like the elevated sense of self that players on this club seems to have.

Of course our FAVE, Big Papi is goodly because he's going to have an actual Press Conference. So shanme, shame on Dan for taking a shot at his Pappiness. He's going to talk about the six year old tests!!

Ten days after the story broke.

A 'day and a half after announcing that he would have a press conference.

The prepping of Ortiz for this press conference will make the attempts to turn W or Palin into competent debates look like a quick breeze through the notes.

Maybe he should borrow W's receiver.

Shaughnessy is right, but not because of one game. They've come up against the two teams that are their competition in the division and the results are not pretty. The pitching is spotty, the defense suspect and the closer flirts much too often with self-immolation.

Now let's get out there and boo Francona; maybe the Kasko/Zimmer treatment will get this PR-driven ownership group to do what has to be done and give Tito two in the hat.

Anonymous said...


Although I have not read today's article, I ask:

What purpose does the Shank serve?

I grew up during the Tiant/Rice/Yaz/Lynn/Carbo (etc.) era and I can not relate to Wenz. Never heard of him.

So why does the Shank refer to him? How big is the demographic that can relate? Certainly not the under 30 crowd. And probably not the under 40.

But then again I'm sure the Globe knows what they are doing. Use the Shank to draw in and communicate to the over 60 demographic. The globe hopes that this niche market hasn't adapted to the internet yet.

So to answer my own question:

The Shank is the Globe's link to the "print" dinosaur era. Specifically these "wise" old-timers now can only appreciate sensationalism and simple messages such as:

Adios Amigo
Fire the Bum
New Sherrif in Town

The Shank even tries a few tunes in there for this "hard to hear" demographic.

My role is to point the vindictiveness, pessimism, underlying racism and "simple" minded communications sent via The Shank and disguised as “reporting.”

And The Shank simply delivers his predictable tune so that we can thrash back at him.

When will the broken record stop skipping?


Anonymous said...

more predictability: The QbjectiveDouche running to the defense of his guy is SCARY. I picture him living is some dark,dank basement. The walls covered with pictures of Shank. Copies of, "The Curse Of the Bambino" laying all over the place

Chris said...

Suddenly the thought crosses the mind that if The Globe goes to a paid-for model, all of Shank's yowling and the Leftist bias will be shouted to a much smaller audience. Oh gee.

tony?...tony?....TONE! said...

LOL....yeah the only guy reading will be ObjectiveBruce....he's the only one I can think of who would pay to read Shank......he's the ultimate Shank fanboy