Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dan Makes Some Funnies

Celebrating a sweep-preventing win over the Mets of New York, Shank tried his hand at comedy writing and pretty much succeeded.

Invoking a veritable litany of names -- real and imagined -- Dan mentioned Willie Tasby (interestingly enough the first black ballplayer the Sox acquired via trade) and Forrest Gump, and refered to umpire Joe West as "Country Joe."

He cited the "golfball-size hail," cracking that "All hail broke loose."

And for the second consecutive game, the umpiring crew used instant replay to determine the legitimacy of a homerun. Unfortunately the umps didn't see the replay on Turner Broadcasting System ... because clearly Kevin Youkilis ultimately was robbed of a four-bagger.

Last but not least, the Shankster continued to lobby for the benching of the woeful David Ortiz, suggesting the Sox conjure up a means of placing the Big Man on the disabled list, or ship him to the minors until he gets back into a groove.


Anonymous said...

Totally PUTRID column today on Brady by a whiny Shank. I can't wait to see the blog's take on it.

Chris said...

Did Dan actually say that interviews with Foxboro athletes come only after money changes hands? I mean, what an excuse for someone who is so hated that no one would ever speak with changing hands or not. He sure didn't endear himself to the Kraft family. But then again, he's done with caring about such things. He's a crotchety old man trying to climb into any 'new media' lifeboat that will have him. Problem is, none want him. Indeed, I would wager that Shaughnessy has to pay for his appearances on ESPN. How 'bout that for the pot calling the kettle black?