Alex Cora Gets The Ax

Shank just luvs, luvs luvs these 'rise and fall' stories, especially the fall part...

The fall of Alex Cora, one of the most popular managers/head coaches in recent Boston sports history, was swift and stunning.

Just after noon on Monday, Cora was still manager of the Red Sox and the ball club was promoting “Winter Weekend,” where Cora was slated to participate in a “town meeting” with Red Sox owners at an exhibition hall in Springfield.

Just under 32 hours later, Cora was finished in Boston.

Spygate II - Is Alex Cora Getting The Ax?

Generally speaking, it's a time to question Shank when he uses the phrase 'do the right thing', but in light of very recent developments he just might be right here.

Red Sox need to do the right thing and fire Alex Cora

The Red Sox need to fire Alex Cora now. Yesterday, if possible. Don’t wait for MLB to tell you what to do. Just do the right thing.

After speaking with two sources with direct knowledge of the situation, I get a sense that the Sox are going to stand by their man and ride this out. They just love Alex Cora, and we understand that.

But this is not an episode that calls for traditional, media-blaming defiance. This is not the time for the Sox to stick behind their guy. The Red Sox are an important local institution. Firing Cora now, before MLB’s next set of sanctions is issued, before it becomes obvious to everyone that Cora must go, allows the Sox to preserve some institutional dignity and let history record that they did the right thing.

Shank mentions some things that are in the MLB report (which came out yesterday or early this morning) that look pretty bad & incriminating. And when even Pete Rose thinks it's a bad situation, you know the shit's about to hit the fan.

Somethin' Somethin' Bridge Year

Shank's always complaining about the Red Sox, isn't he?

The Ghoul has spoken. https://t.co/tO0kh7mElG

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) January 11, 2020

The story's a hoot, because it was done in part via e-mails between Shank and the principals of the Red Sox (Henry, Werner & Kennedy), reminding everyone once again that he's persona non grata with this team. I love it!

Spygate II - Electric Boogaloo

Didja ever notice when bad news abounds, Shank is all over it? First it was the Patriots losing in the playoffs, which already put a bounce in his step. Now we have yet another late Christmas present for the Shankster:

Throw the book at ’em.

If the new report is accurate — and there is no reason to believe it is not accurate — the Red Sox are an arrogant disgrace.

World champs in 2018? Swell. At this moment, the evidence indicates that when it came to winning the big games, “Our cheaters were better than their cheaters.’’

The 2018 Red Sox were good. They probably didn’t need to cheat to get an edge. But there appears to be ample evidence that they cheated. Just as the Patriots cheated with Spygate in 2007, and most likely again in the Super Bowl-winning season of 2014 during Deflategate.

The Sox of ’18 and the Patriots of most years were better than all the other teams, but that was never good enough. In the spirit of Red Auerbach, the Red Sox and Patriots took it to the next level. They covered all the bases. They uncovered every rock. Even if it made them bottom-feeding cheaters.

Is it just me or do many (if not all) of these cheating allegations vastly overstate whatever competitive advantage you'll get from the specific cheating activity?

No one is going to strip the 2018 Red Sox of their championship banner, but everything from that season is now tainted (do I have to keep saying “if the new report is accurate”?).

Two takeaways - a) I get the clear impression from Shank's tone preceding this sentence he would definitely strip the Sox of that banner if it were up to him. b) Yes, Shank, you do have to keep saying it - it makes you look like less of a jackass if these allegations are proven false.

Last thought - I think Shank was discussing this on Zolak & Bertrand yesterday for the few limited minutes I caught it on the radio. That's classic Shank - talk about it then and do a column on the exact same subject (or vice versa) and since there's no heavy lifting involved, you're not gonna mess up your back!

And if there was ever any doubt about this...

It’s time for Rob Manfred to have his Kenesaw Mountain Landis moment. Eight Men Out. Whatever it takes.

Come down hard, Commish.

Baseball needs to get its game back under control. Time to be harsh. Time to make the punishments hurt.

Ok, one more last thought - Shank is of course referring to the 1919 Chicago White Sox, where eight players threw the World Series and received lifetime bans from baseball. Shank is ridiculously calling for the same level of punishment for people involved in enhanced sign stealing (for lack of a better phrase). It's further ridiculous when you consider the following sentence from this column:

Organic sign-stealing is cool. And fun. Nobody is better at it than Alex Cora.

But Shank wants lifetime bans for a similar behavior? Vastly overstated, this column is.

DHL Dan XCIV - Crocodile Tears

Another predictable column by Shank where he continues to bury the New England Patriots:

Would another team bite on Tom Brady? And other Patriots thoughts . . .

Saturday night at Gillette Stadium felt like the end of everything. Things are going to be very different moving forward in Foxborough.

Some two-day-old takeaways . . .

■ The Tom Brady drama is a 24/7 topic now and it feels like it’s never going to end.

Here’s what I believe: Bob Kraft will do everything in his power to make sure he never gets blamed if Brady leaves (this has already started with a Kraft-Peter King interview). Kraft will say, “We tried, but Tom wanted out,’’ or “We let our coach make these decisions,’’ or Kraft’s ever-handy “I was duped.’’

Since a) the entire column consists of cheap shots at a lot of Patriots players, coaches, ownership and even the fans, and b) it's tax season already, I won't be taking this one apart, although that's exactly what it deserves.

Fini

One of the easiest columns to predict coming from Shank's part of the world - the final burial of the New England Patriots. I bet he's been working on this column all week.

It’s the end for the Patriots, and perhaps, for Tom Brady

FOXBOROUGH — Is this how it ends?

We have visited this dark doorstep before . . . and been wrong before. A decade ago, the Patriots lost back-to-back home playoff games in successive seasons and it looked like the dynasty was over. Three Super Bowl championships later, the Patriots were still kicking butts and taking names. They started 8-0 in 2019, and we were talking about running the table and watching Tom Brady and friends win an NFL-record seventh Super Bowl next month in Florida.

No distance comparisons to another building in Florida, Shank?

But it all fell apart over the last two months, and Saturday night at Gillette, freight train Derrick Henry and the sixth-seeded Tennessee Titans ended the Patriots season with a hard-earned, 20-13, wild-card playoff victory. There was nothing fluky about it. The better team won.

A Man Ahead Of His Time

Shank makes the call (?) on the possible end of Tom Brady's career as a New England Patriot:

FOXBOROUGH — The last moment is sometimes understated, underrated, and unknown.

Ted Williams’s Hall of Fame career with the Red Sox spanned four decades, but only an announced 10,454 came to Fenway on a drab Wednesday afternoon to witness the Kid’s final game. Bill Russell won his 11th championship when he beat the Lakers in the ’69 NBA Finals, but did not announce his retirement until three months later. The Beatles didn’t tell the world their 35-minute show at Candlestick Park in ’66 would be their final concert, and nobody knew mankind was leaving the Moon for good when Apollo 17 astronaut Gene Cernan ascended the steps of the lunar module in ’72.

Now it develops that we may have seen the last of Tom Brady as a Patriot at Gillette Stadium.

Now that the loss is official, expect more salvos over the next week or so, as Shank buries everyone he can.

Introducing Tara Shaughnessy - II

Eventually, you'll be right:

Mediocre Tara Sullivan does get her best Trollin Volin impression this morning. pic.twitter.com/7YnouxKhs0

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) January 3, 2020

The One Where Shank Complains About The Red Sox' Backup Catcher

It's now the new year, the hot stove season's in full swing and Shank is already in bitchin' mid-season form:

Another cost-efficient move by the increasingly embarrassing Tampa bay Red Sox https://t.co/813MVIVnZO

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 2, 2020

I'd Rather Look Away

Remember that awful column from a few weeks ago (which one? - ed) where Shank was trying to be funny and clever? He's at it again:

There are two ways to look at the Patriots right now

The Patriot Hater and the Defender of the Wall have been friends for many, many years. They shared an apartment in Brighton after college, relying on the 57 bus, which roared through Oak Square each morning. They went on to enjoy careers in new cities after the turn of the century, but never stopped talking on the phone, and these last two decades have been filled with lively debate about the dominant and ever-controversial New England Patriots.

The Hater grew up far from New England and never liked the Patriots, but only in the new millennium did his true hatred emerge. He’s wildly jealous. He thinks the Patriots are arrogant cheaters. He keeps a framed photo of Ted Wells in his home office. And after 20 years of watching confetti rain on the heads of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, the Hater finally thinks his time has come.

Sounds like an autobiography!

The rest of the 'column' goes on about a mythical Patriots hater arguing with a mythical Patriots fan. It's unfunny schtick that's now overused to boot. Steer clear of it.

Adding Insult To Injury

To paraphrase Peter in Office Space, 'I wouldn't say I missed this column...'

It looks like Shank wrote something a few days ago speculating on the New England Patriots run in the upcoming playoffs. My first thought was 'great - it'll give him a chance to rewrite some columns from previous playoff runs'. It's actually worse then that:

In all likelihood, get ready for a Patriots-Chiefs rematch in the playoffs

Things could still change, of course. Technically speaking, the Patriots could lose to the Tank-Palooza Miami Dolphins at home next weekend. Lamar Jackson could get hurt if John Harbaugh allows the MVP to play against the Steelers in Week 17. And the Chiefs could lose a wild-card weekend home game against the Steelers or the Titans.

But probably not. In all likelihood, we now know what it’s going to take for the Patriots to get where they want to go.

In all likelihood, the Patriots will get their coveted, hard-earned, first-round bye. Then they’ll have to beat the Chiefs at home, and the Ravens on the road to get to Super Bowl LIV in Miami Gardens, just 73 miles south of Orchids of Asia.

What a classless son of a bitch. For what it's worth, I read the first 50 or so comments on the article, and he was uniformly trashed for saying it, and generally being a douchebag has-been who should retire. On the bright side, this will lead to a few more cancellations of Boston Globe subscriptions.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Second Bite At The Apple

Perhaps realizing his previous column was horrible and sucked big hairy donkey balls, Shank takes another stab at the most recent Patriots sideline taping controversy:

The Patriots and their fans sell more Whoppers than Burger King.

Mini Whoppers. Meatless Whoppers. Whoppers with cheese.

It starts at the top. Remember Bob “I did nothing illegal” Kraft and his army of attorneys after the Orchids of Asia debacle in February?

Here we are again. Spygate II. And again the polygraphs are exploding as we wait for the Patriots to release “Spygate II In Context.’’

Let me see if I’ve got things straight:

It's a fairly persuasive column, primarily because it required research and effort to compile. If only he led off with this one and not that crappy lame attempt at humor from a few days ago, I'd take this column seriously.

The Mothers Of Invention

News came out this week that the New England Patriots were again involved in a sideline filming controversy, this time involving the Cincinnati Bengals. Shank, clearly missing out on an opportunity to bash the team, finally jumps on the bandwagon in that fine tradition of Boston Globe fiction artists like Mike Barnicle (of 'Whitey Bulger kept the drugs out of Southie' fame), Patricia Smith and Kevin Cullen:

Where do Patriots ‘rule benders’ end up?

LOCATION UNKNOWN — Welcome to the Patriots penal colony, the place where the rule benders are stashed so they will never be heard from again.

“We call it the Jerod Mayo Zone, as in Area 51,’’ said Jimmy Hotfingers (a.k.a. “the Deflator”), as he greeted me at the door of the palatial lodge. “Don’t ask, don’t tell. Just Do Your Job and don’t say anything. Ever. That’s what we’re about. How was your trip?’’

A little disturbing, I told him. It was somewhat scary to be blindfolded and rolled into a private jet at Hanscom Field. I wasn’t in the sky that long, but I couldn’t tell if I was in upstate New York or Las Vegas. You lose your sense of time and space in the darkness. Same goes for the bumpy ride to the cabin.

Unfunny, uninteresting and complete bullshit - this is his worst column in some time, and that's saying something.

Late To The Party

I was at CPE courses this week and didn't have the time or motivation to post any of Shank's recent 'work', so here are links to his recent columns. The first one was on the recent passing of Peter Frates, the former Boston College baseball player who had succumbed from ALS and who raised millions of dollars from the Ice Bucket Challenge. Shank then shows his positive side with heapings of praise for the offseason moves by the Boston Red Sox (with trademark hyperbole thrown in for good measure):

Why this could be the worst Red Sox offseason ever

Pardon me while I heave into my official, team-sponsored 2020 Red Sox barf bag.

I have been following the Sox since 1962 and never found a Red Sox offseason more odious. Granted, it’s still early, but this has potential to be the worst Sox winter of all time. Four days of Big Nothing at the Winter Meetings only fortifies the financial teardown and impending Bridge Year that awaits.

This offseason narrative stinks. In the old days, we talked about ballplayers as trading cards. It was exciting if the Sox dealt Don Schwall for Dick Stuart, or Al Nipper and Calvin Schiraldi for Lee Smith. We got fired up about the Local Nine acquiring Pedro Martinez, Manny Ramirez, Curt Schilling, and Chris Sale in offseason blockbuster signings/deals.

It wasn't that long ago when Shank loved the new Red Sox manager, was it?

By the way, Shank's still doing his weekly radio appearances on Zolak & Bertrand (which is simulcast on NBC Sports Boston); he's just given up on tweeting about them beforehand. I was watching the last part of it yesterday when he does his 'Dates of Distinction' / 'On this day in history...' schtick, which to me is pretty boring radio. It got interesting / strange as soon as Shank stopped talking and finished his appearance. I had looked down to grab a bite of lunch and then looked up about five seconds later. What I saw was amazing - it was a shot of Shank's back and he was walking away rapidly. A second or two later both Scott Zolak and Beetle were saying to each other - where the hell is Shaughnessy? He just up and bolted from the place as soon as he was done, was in the next room and had his jacket on, all within a span of about five seconds. It was and will always be the best TV studio pick & roll of all time. I think it also says something telling - Shank really dislikes doing these appearances now.

Stop Yer Complaining!

Shank's here to scold you folks that had any problems with yesterday's officiating of the Patriots / Chiefs game:

Patriots fans should not be complaining about officiating

Be better, Patriot fans. All this crying about officiating is embarrassing.

Suck it up. The officials stunk in Sunday’s 23-16 loss to the Chiefs, but we have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves. Folks around the nation are celebrating New England’s late-season woes, and we only make matters worse by blaming it on the officials.

Everybody knows that the entire Patriots dynasty was built on a football lie. Remember the Tuck Rule? Of course you do. The bad rule (which nobody knew about before Jan. 19, 2002) was correctly enforced on that snowy night in Foxborough and it turned Tom Brady’s fumble into an incomplete pass, giving birth to 18 years of Do Your Job, No Days Off, and They Hate Us ’Cause They Ain’t Us. The rule was so bad that it was eventually repealed. Brady’s fumble today would be what it should haven (sic) been that night: a fumble.

Except that it was not a fumble on the day it occurred. Rules are added, changed and repealed with some frequency, so Shank's argument can be used selectively, as he did here. When that fumble happened, I did indeed think that it was a fumble and like the occasional moron that I am, I went right to bed after that play, thinking that it was a fumble. The next morning I read all about it and I was pleasantly stunned at a) what happened and b) that the 'Tuck Rule' was in place, as I didn't recall that particular subtlety of the NFL rulebook at the time.

He goes on from there to 'remind' all of us at how lucky the Patriots have been since that game. While it's hard to argue against that notion in general, I don't agree with Shank that it tips oh so heavily in the Patriots favor.

That said, I'd recommend reading the rest of the column. It's a decent read, because you can see Shank is energized in this column, as he usually is when he gets a chance to write a column after a Patriots loss.

Shank's Next Column?

Boston Celtics legend Larry Bird turn 63 today. Does Shank walk down memory lane again with a tribute column?

HBD : Larry the Legend is 63 today.

💍 3x Champion
🏆 3x MVP
🎖 2x Finals MVP
🥈 3x All Defensive
⭐ 12x All-Star
📊 24.3 pts, 10.0 rebonds, 6.3 assists, 49.6% 3PT avg

pic.twitter.com/zOBqea3YJN

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) December 7, 2019

DHL Dan XCIIII - Dwight Evans Revisted, Etc.

Shank bangs out another Picked-Up Pieces column which among other things touts Dwight Evans' chances of making the Hall of Fame:

Picked-up pieces while playing Mitch Miller and the gang’s Christmas hits on my hi-fi stereo system . . .

■ The Red Sox are actively boosting Dwight Evans’s campaign for the Hall of Fame. You knew it would come to this last year when Harold Baines, who was never as good as Evans, was broomed into Cooperstown in a back-room deal brokered by Jerry Reinsdorf and Tony La Russa.

Evans will need 12 of 16 votes cast when the Modern Era committee meets in San Diego Sunday. He should have two big backers in the room — Dennis Eckersley and Dave Dombrowski — but it’s a crowded field (10) of strong candidates, including Ted Simmons, Steve Garvey, Tommy John, Dale Murphy, and Marvin Miller. Voters can vote for no more than four candidates.

All in all, it's a decent PUP column.

The End Is Near Again?

While Shank's previous column wasn't viciously critical of the New England Patriots and their second loss of the season, he did put some effort into it. With today's column, he keeps the fire burning for another day.

STILL HOUSTON — What a field day for the hate.

Monday. Tuesday. Every day. And this is the way it’s going to be until the Patriots get a chance to prove everybody wrong at Gillette Stadium against the Chiefs Sunday.

It’s open season on Tom Brady and the Patriots across Football America. The Patriots are frauds. They are the worst 10-2 team in NFL history. They are a house of cards, upheld only by a soft schedule, the stupidity of others, and the genius of Bill Belichick.

Suddenly those Patriot wins against the Eagles and Cowboys don’t look so impressive anymore. In a cluster of 10-2 teams including the 49ers, Seahawks, and Ravens, the Patriots are the ones that don’t belong. They are the ones trending in the wrong direction as the playoffs near.

Whoops!

Completely ignoring what he wrote the day before, Shank writes with great fanfare about the Patriot's second loss of the season.

HOUSTON — Pigs can fly. Republicans and Democrats agree on everything. Larry Bird is buying rounds for the house. Jackie Bradley is a .350 hitter who never strikes out.

And the Houston Texans just beat the New England Patriots, 28-22.

Anything is possible.

DeShaun Watson took it to the Boogeymen Sunday night at NRG Stadium, throwing for three touchdowns and catching another as the Texans snapped an eight-game losing streak vs. New England. Former Belichick protege Bill O’Brien secured his first win against mentor Bill, breaking a humbling and at times humilating 0-5 skid. Late in the game, with the Texans leading, 28-9, Antonio Brown tweeted, “Still I Rise.’’

Funny how we always see a Patriots column from Shank when they lose, isn't it?

He's Got His Number

Thirteen weeks into the 2019-2020 pro football season, Shank writes something complimentary about the New England Patriots:

HOUSTON — New Englanders love this place. This is where 28-3 happened in February 2017 and where the Tom Brady-Bill Belichick Patriots won their second Super Bowl in February 2004. Houston is where the 2018 Red Sox eliminated the cheatin’ Houston Astros in Game 5 of the American League Championship Series on a night when David Price beat Justin Verlander. It’s where Larry Bird won his first NBA championship in May 1981 and where Roger Clemens learned how to throw a fastball in the 1970s. Houston was headquarters to our space program when Derry, N.H.’s Alan Shepard walked on the moon in 1971.

And it is the home of the Houston Texans, a sometimes formidable football team that is constitutionally incapable of beating the New England Patriots.

So, here we go again. We are Lucy holding the football and the Texans are Charlie Brown lining up for a kick, ever hopeful that it will be different this time. But everyone knows it will not be different.

Lots of Shank staples in this one - there's a Larry Bird reference, lots of references to other sports and the signature reuse of previous columns, so there's your triple play for the day.