On Your Radar

Every now and then I'll read a column by Shank that has the feeling (and accuracy) of an amateur / rookie gang member in their first gunfight, and his response will be 'spray and pray (that you hit something). This is one of those columns, and it's a humdinger:

Mb>He’s not on any team’s sideline, but Bill Belichick looms large over the NFL this season

For 24 seasons he was hiding in plain sight, grumbling, mumbling, taking care of every Patriot detail while playing the Stupid Game at NFL-mandated press conferences, refusing to release any information other than bare minimum, fearing it might hurt his team.

Now that he’s been fired and the Kraft family has tried to erase him from the franchise’s glorious 21st century history (see “The Dynasty”), Bill Belichick is ubiquitous. He’s on TV, radio, and social media outlets. And with the NFL set to kick off its season Thursday night, Belichick also will be rumored as the next head coach for high-profile teams that lose a couple out of the gate (hello, Giants, Cowboys).

In September of 2024, Belichick is the NFL’s Roy Kent. “He’s here. He’s there. He’s every(expletive)where.”

Sittin' on a park bench:

When we last saw him coaching — eight months ago at Gillette Stadium — Belichick was in full pandemic mask mode, covered from hoodie-to-Nikes while he slinked off the field as anonymously as possible. Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. He could have been Cosmo Kramer (“Look away … I’m hideous!”). Four days later, Belichick was fired by Bob Kraft.

It goes on from there, rehasing much of the discussion about Belichick getting back into coaching, etc.

This ending is odd, I think:

Welcome to the media, Bill. Hope you don’t mind if we engage in rumors about the job you covet most: your next NFL head coaching position.

It doesn’t concern us anymore.

We’re on to Cincinnati.

It doesn't concern 'us' anymore, so I'll write a column about it!

'Madness in the Spring'

Yesterday it was, could Bob Kraft be assembling a commissioner coup? Today it's "Bob wimped out."

To recap:

• The CHB believes the Patriots cheated and then lied about it.
• The CHB believes the Patriots had its punishment coming if for no other reason they have been guilty of the crime of "arrogance" (which in CHB talk is the same as "winning").
• The CHB believes writing the same column seven or eight times in a row will somehow change people's minds, or not, because we, too, are "arrogant."

Given that the NFL rules don't allow appeals from ownership, the smart thing for Kraft was to concede, so naturally The CHB sees this as a sign of weakness, even though he thinks they are as guilty as OJ.

What I found comical is that Shank has spent multiple columns on the Deflategate story over multiple days in San Francisco and has yet to land an interview with a Patriots player or employee.

There's also this odd Jethro Tull reference thrown in ("Patriot fans spitting out pieces of their broken luck," which is funny in that if anyone has less need for an aqualung, it's The CHB, who is already full of air (and probably has spent more than one afternoon in a boozy haze sitting on a park bench with snot running down his nose).