Much Like The Boston Globe, Then

Fresh off of burying the 2020 Boston Celtics, Shank sets his sights on the basement dwelling 2020 Boston Red Sox:

You know things are bad when the Red Sox are irrelevant

John Henry, Tom Werner, Sam Kennedy, and Chaim Bloom did the impossible this summer: The custodians of Boston’s once-beloved baseball franchise made the Red Sox disappear — not an easy trick considering the ballclub’s 120 years of institutional relevance.

The disappearance of the Red Sox had little to do with the coronavirus.

I'm not so sure about that. There were a lot of things that were thrown into kilter with the Wuhan virus, and spring training preparation, among other things, would suffer as a result. Granted the pitching staff looks like a complete shitshow but I'm not certain if that can be attributed strictly to poor GM decisions.

In some weird ways, COVID-19 probably helped the Red Sox. The pandemic allowed the Red Sox to give up on a season without hearing a single boo at Fenway Park. The Sox were allowed to tank in almost total anonymity. They were the falling tree in the proverbial forest; if a team tries to lose games in an empty ballpark with hardly anyone watching on TV . . . does it make a sound? Did it really happen?

Shank goes on from there to make his case, which is good to solid. Read on for more tales of the HMS Titantic 2020 Red Sox, or what's left of them.

Baby, You're No Good

After the Boston Celtics bow out of the Eastern Conference semifinals, Shank does the inevitable post mortem:

Let’s face it, the Celtics are not as good as they think they are

If you like basketball you know the right team won.

The Miami Heat, worthy in every way, beat the Celtics, 125-113, in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals Sunday night and will advance to the NBA Finals, where they’ll play LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers starting Wednesday night. LeBron vs. Pat Riley. Pretty sweet.

Let the record show that the 2019-20 Celtics in no way deserved to win this series. They gave it a pretty good run, but in the end they presented as front-running posers who folded whenever a game went into crunch time. Green Teamers should face the fact that these Celtics — who are fawned over and comport themselves as if they’ve already put some banners in the Garden rafters — have won nothing yet.

I didn't watch enough of the series to know one way or the other; it's really difficult for me to watch sports without fans in the stands. I do know that the Celtics had no answer to Miami center Bam Adebayo; he tore up the Celtics in Game 6.

Eruption

No, not that eruption! Shank's talking about last night's game, an emphatic Celtics Game 5 win over the Miami Heat:

Dream big, Celtics fans. The Green Team has done this before.

The Celtics overcame a 12-point deficit, scored 41 points in the third quarter, and beat the Miami Heat Friday, 121-108, to extend their Eastern Conference finals series to a sixth game. The Celtics are attempting to become the 14th NBA team to crawl out of a 3-1 series deficit.

Sunday will be one of the great sports TV days in Boston history. We’ve got Patriots-Raiders at 1, Tom Brady at 4:25, and Celtics-Heat in Game 6 at 7:30.

Shank “It’s back to basics,” Celtic coach Brad Stevens said after his team’s big second half. “We need to be better again in Game 6.”

This looks like a classic rope-a-dope - write nice things about the local teams when they're winning, then blindside them when they lose. The rest of the column is a stroll down Celtics memory lane and the standard game recap.

Shank's Back On The 2020 Red Sox Bandwagon

Awww - who am I shitting? Nobody!

Big market Red Sox succeeding in their quest to assemble anonymous no-star team #tampabaybythecharles https://t.co/o61N7cwjh2

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 25, 2020

This guy . . . https://t.co/scwgdsTyF3

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 25, 2020

Second Guessing, By Dan Shaughnessy

Here's our man Shank, playing Monday morning quarterback:

It got lost in the shuffle, but Pete Carroll's decision to allow a home run pass play instead of a run play on 3rd-and-one after 2-min warning is what allowed the Patriots a chance to win. This is almost as dumb as the slant pass on the 1 in Super Bowl 49.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 21, 2020

Fortunately he does not do this all the time but in some respects I think this kind of commenting is irritating and pointless.

You Never Know

Shank sure called it last night:

With Bill Belichick opposing Pete Carroll, you just never know what will happen next

Sunday Night Lights.

Seahawks 35, Patriots, 30.

Clear eyes, heavy hearts, can’t win.

I don’t know about you, but I could watch these teams play one another for the next 14 weeks of the NFL regular season. It’s great fun to watch the 69-year-old Pete Carroll match wits with the 68-year-old Bill Belichick. The Seahawks have beaten the Patriots three times in four games since 2012, losing only the one that counted: Super Bowl XLIX.

This one went down to the final play of the night when Cam Newton was upended in front of the goal line as the clock ran out, denying the Patriots a last-second, come-from-behind victory. Down, 35-23, with less than three minutes to play, the Patriots seemed hopelessly out of this game, but roared back in the closing seconds — thanks in large part to yet another head-scratching play call by Carroll, who went for a home run when a 1-yard run would have iced the game after the two-minute warning.

I thought the Patriots were gonna get smoked, so even a loss in this situation's not too bad.

Bad News For The Celtics Is Good News For Shank

The Boston Celtics got beat like a rented mule last night (mostly in the third quarter) by the Miami Heat. Shank, not unsurprisingly, gets a column about the extra curricular activities in the locker room after the game:

Celtics have gone quickly from feel-good story to family feud

The Celtics have won one championship in 34 years and yet we still talk about them as if they are a dynasty.

Do you talk about them like they're a dynasty? I sure don't. The Red Sox won it all in 2004 and 2007 and I don't recall them being called a dynasty; maybe from some quarters they were. The Patriots however, are another matter, and the Bruins can't be in that conversation, not having won Lord Stanley's Cup in years near or next to each other.

Brad Stevens has never won a championship anywhere and we talk about him as if he’s Red Auerbach or Bill Belichick.

Again - what's with this 'we' shit'? He's simply using the plural form to pretend more people are on board with this notion than they're actually are.

Now this. The Celtics just blew two playoff games, and we have a locker room of young players yelling at one another, throwing things off walls, questioning their coach, and perhaps being restrained from attacking one another in fits of anger.

With a chance to advance to the NBA Finals, we have a team that has blown leads of 14 points and 17 points in back-to-back losses to the Miami Heat.

I didn't watch the entire game (barelyt watched it at all, with an entertaining NFL game on and a buddy coming by to run a few games of cribbage), and that third quarter spurt by the Miami Heat was my roommate's observation. Shank points out some contributing factors as to how Boston and Miami came into this series and then brings up the question of whether they can rebound from all of this (pun fully intended!) and you damn well know whose name he's gonna drop:

The Celtics can rebound from this. When the 1984 Celtics were routed by the Lakers in Game 3 of the Finals, Larry Bird said, “We don’t have the players with the heart sometimes that we need … We played like sissies.”

Those guys came back to win their series in seven games.

What about the 2020 Celtics?

...

It’s time for Stevens to step up. Give us a little less Fred Rogers and a little more Fred Smerlas. Go Cro-Magnon for a few days. Challenge your players' manhood. Call out some of your young players in the media. Draw up a zone offense. Throw the picket fence at the Heat and tell them not to get caught watching the paint dry.

It’s time for the 2020 Celtics to summon the spirit of Red and Russell and Cousy and Bird. Time for them to stop losing games and throwing chairs. Time for the 2020 Celtics to earn the everlasting love they always get around here.

Starting Saturday night in the bubble.

I have to say I agree 100% with this notion. Maybe the locker room argument / fight sets another tone, like another infamous singular act did back in 1984. I'm really surprised he didn't mention that play; that was a clear series turning event. Let's see how this one turns out and I hope the Celtics can come back from this and kick ass.

Tied To The Whipping Post

Is it me or is there always one Red Sox player Shank feels to need to shit on?

J D Martinez sitting on the Mendoza Line as we await his second at bat in Miami.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 17, 2020

Just call him JD Mendoza. https://t.co/VAPmtsCnHL

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 17, 2020

Off By A Year

I was making the call around this time last year, but today Shank finally throws in the towel:

ONE FINAL DAN'S DATES: Tuesday, September 15, 2020. Shaughnessy no longer part of 98.5 SportsHub midday. After Tuesday's with Zo, Beetle, Gresh, and Tanguay, it's over. Enjoyed it.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 15, 2020

He's poorly bullshitting us with that last half-sentence. We at DSW have documented numerous times where, for instance, Scott Zolak would tweet something sarcastic ar Shank (or respond to one of his in a similar manner) and who could forget the near world record Shank set in the 20 yard / two room office steeple chase and escape? I'm not buying that line of his claiming he 'enjoyed it', and neither should you. I can't wait for the scuttlebut / rumors that will inevitably come out from this.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Watch as fellow curmudgeon sports guy Tony Massarotti shocks the hell out of everyone and drops a beat on yesterday's Felger & Mazz show:

Big O just forfeited tomorrow’s rap battle. https://t.co/6liYGD5BBc

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) September 15, 2020

Scoreboard Shaughnessy

Is this Shank's new thing for the 2020 football season?

Bill Belichick 1.

Tom Brady 0.

We are only one week into a 16-game season, but Belichick on Sunday took an early lead in the silent, subliminal spitting contest regarding who was most responsible for the greatest sports dynasty of the 21st century.

It was business as usual for Belichick as the Patriots beat the Dolphins, 21-11, at Gillette. With no Brady, no fans, and no help from eight players who opted out because of COVID-19, the Pats beat the Fish easily. Belichick is still the greatest coach of all time, the Dolphins are still Tomato Cans, and New England’s new quarterback Cam Newton is a pretty good runner. The Pats are 1-0 in the coronavirus era.

You know the rest from there - boring game recaps we've read (or avoided) for decades now.

The Tampa Bay Bradys?

The NFL finally returns to start their 2020 season and already Shank is acting like a huge douchenozzle:

Are you ready for the first all-Boston NFL doubleheader of the 2020 season?

For the first time since the Boston Braves and Red Sox split the affections of Hub hardball fans, we have two professional teams playing in the same major league.

The New England Belichicks kick off Sunday on CBS at 1 p.m. The Tampa Bay Bradys play on Fox at 4:25.

Are any of you as irritated as I am when Shank says stupid and unfunny crap like this? Does he think he's being clever or witty? Well, I'm pretty sure he's the only one.

The Belichicks, a.k.a. the New England Patriots, open their season vs. the Miami Dolphins at an empty Gillette Stadium. There will be no cheerleaders, no musket men, no Brady, and no guarantee of winning the AFC East for the millionth straight season.

First off - I'd like to continue to point out how god damn lifeless any professional sports event is without fans in the stands, and now we get insult added to injury by not having cheerleaders to boot? Last night's game between the Chiefs and the Texans had 22% of the stadium filled with fans, who were wearing masks, doing social distancing and all that bullshit. The risk that's run by continuing to shut fans out would be to make this situation worse. We now have, from a financial perspective of an NFL franchise, no gate revenue, no parking lot and concession stand revenue and (this is the big one) an all but guaranteed reduction in future TV rights the next time the contract gets negotiated because the suits at the networks will not pay the same level of broadcast fees to the NFL & its teams when the viewing numbers dip or fall off the cliff. How long can the NFL (and team owners) risk a permanent reduction in its fan base and still expect the same TV revenues? It's not going to happen, and something will have to give. That 'something to give' is a fucking no-brainer in my book - start returning to normal, like yesterday.

The Bradys, formerly known as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, will play the Saints in the empty Superdome in New Orleans. Playing as the Buccaneers for a half-century, Tampa Bay was the losingest team in professional sports. Most recently, the Bucs have finished last seven times in nine seasons. All that is expected to change now that they are the Bradys.

God damn, this asshole's really pissing me off now...

We will be watching. Both games. This weekend and every weekend.

The problem is - a lot of other people won't be watching and the NFL, like all professional sports franchises, better figure out and fix this problem before the the damage is irrreversible.

Oh - Shank continues on with the Belichicks and Bradys shtick - screw that; I'm outta here.

Gut Check

No, Shank is not talking about his efforts at weight loss but about tonight's Game 7 against the Toronto Raptors:

It’s time for a Brad Stevens team to step up and win a gut-check game. The 2020 Celtics will be defined by what happens in Game 7 against the Toronto Raptors Friday night in the Orlando bubble.

Impressive grasp of the obvious...

Six games have established that the Celtics are better than the Raptors. It’s been clear throughout this series. Boston won the first two games, and led Game 3 by 2 points with 0.5 seconds left. The Celtics were a half-second away from a de facto sweep of the defending NBA champs.

Wait a minute - this is a seven game series, and the Celtics were going to sweep the series with three wins? Am I missing something here?

Oh, it's a de facto sweep - silly me!

OG Anunoby’s miracle three gave Toronto new life, but the Celtics recovered and thoroughly pantsed Toronto in an easy Game 5 win. The Raptors needed two overtimes and some critical calls Wednesday to force a seventh game.

I'm not sure I buy that logic; after all of that they're tied with three wins each.

So here we are. To advance to the NBA’s Final Four, all the Celtics have to do is beat a clearly inferior Raptors team.

This is it. No excuses. No complaining about Nick Nurse complaining (maybe Brad could find his inner Red Auerbach and get in the ears of the officials now and then). It’s time for these Celtics to demonstrate that they are as good as their blindly loyal fan base says they are. Time for the Celtics to put on their big-kid pants and fulfill the great expectations fans have for them.

You may have noticed by now the 4,624th interation of one of Shank's finest column templates - place huge (and perhaps unrealistic) expectations on the local pro sports franchise so you can take the mother of all shits on them if they lose ('they simply aren't that good', etc.). Time will tell but I'm a little more certain of this now than I was when the Bruins bowed out of the playoffs.

Boston Radio Death Watch - I

First, to the proprietor of the Boston Radio Watch Twitter page - I do not mean you! I've been following you for months now, maybe closer to a year and it's one of my go-to sites every day, often a few times during the day.

Second, Boston Radio Watch just linked to a story about the two local PBS / NPR affiliates, which are WGBH and WBUR, respectively. Even with presumably large financial backing courtesy of the American taxpayer, the are in the parlance 'consolidating certain operations':

Rivals GBH, WBUR team up on new podcast with local news

By Don Seiffert – Managing Editor, Boston Business Journal

Boston’s two rival public radio stations, GBH and WBUR, will be working together for the first time on a new daily podcast that combines local and national reporting from across the National Public Radio landscape.

Starting today, listeners in Boston will hear a new version of the NPR podcast, “Consider This,” which comes out in the afternoon and includes both national and community news from that day.

GBH, which recently changed its name from WGBH to emphasize its digital media platforms, and WBUR, which is affiliated with Boston University, are two of a dozen stations across the country contributing to the project.

But only Boston and Los Angeles are in the position of having two stations in the same market working together, according to Pam Johnston, general manager of news at GBH.

Both Johnston and Margaret Low, CEO of WBUR, expressed mutual admiration for each other’s organizations in separate interviews today, while maintaining that despite the partnership, they do in fact remain competitors.

Asked about the rivalry, Low said, “Let me put it this way. Only a wonderful town like Boston could support two such great radio stations…. We may compete in the marketplace, but we’re great admirers of each other.”

Likewise, Johnston said that the two stations “absolutely” remain rivals. “We’re not putting our competitive side aside,” she said. “It’s about being able to reach our public radio audience in a new way.”

Both Johnston and Low are relatively new to their organizations, with Johnston starting in June and Low beginning in her role last November. But the rivalry dates back to 2011, when WGBH first changed its format to more directly compete with WBUR. At the time, then-new general manager at WBUR Charlie Kravetz sharply criticized WGBH for the change, saying “This marketplace did not need to have two public radio stations with the same format… If either station flourishes, it will be at the expense of the other.’’

Jon Abbott, CEO of GBH, defended that decision in an interview last year, saying, “I spent two years after we made the launch in community meetings with my board saying, this is not a nine inch pie plate. It's a 15-inch pie plate, or bigger.… What we know is that the overall number of Bostonians, the overall number has increased in those who are compelled to come and spend time with public radio.”

Neither GBH nor WBUR are adding any extra expenses to create the new podcast.

NPR says that it’s partnering with sponsorship vendor, AdsWizz, to deliver this localized news in the same way podcast publishers deliver any localized sponsorship content.

You know why I copied the entire article? It's because I can - it's pretty easy to get around subscription blockers once you get the hang of it. A larger point - most of you that listen to regular radio are familiar with names of former Boston radio stations - WBCN, WFNX anmd WAAF being just three of the more notable stations that have disappeared over the past decade. One would think WGBH and WBUR by virtue of public financing ought to be able to weather all financial storms, but like their sister organization the Boston Globe (in the ideological sense), none of them can escape the fierce financial gravity of today's media environment.

Boston Globe Death Watch - XII

The end must be near if you're pathetically begging the owner of your corporation for your collective jobs:

Well, @John_W_Henry dumped Mookie Betts and just laid off a bunch of @RedSox personnel. I hope he sees your value, but
... https://t.co/KASfkMq7YL

— Bruce Allen (@bruceallen) September 8, 2020

The level of entitlement on display here is astounding. Learn to code, bitchez!

A Friendly Reminder From Dan Shaughnessy

Shank would like you to know what's happening with the 2020 version of the Olde Towne Team:

Mission Accomplished: At this moment, the Red Sox (15-29 -- .340909) are the worst team in baseball.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 9, 2020

As a person who appreciates high-level math, I'm pleased to see Shank carry the 'winning' percentage out to six digits. Accuracy is everything!

DHL Dan CX - The Red Sox Are Really Bad, Aren't They?

Shank has some fun shooting fish in a barrel:

Thoughts on the last-place Red Sox and other topics Picked-up pieces while watching the embarrassing parade of meatball artists the tanking Red Sox send to the mound every day . . . ▪ Does winning four World Series in this century give Red Sox ownership a lifetime pass for biennial last-place finishes and the Triple A product we are seeing now?

Yes. Next question / complaint?

The Sox are about to finish in the cellar for the fourth time since 2012. In 80 seasons from 1932-2011, the Red Sox finished last exactly once (1992 under Butch Hobson). Now the Sox lead the majors in losses and we’re about to see the fourth basement finish in nine seasons. The tanking we’ve seen in the last three weeks is worse than anything the franchise has put fans through since the pre-Yawkey era of 1926-32. And yet still we have NESN feeding us the “Heat Zone” item that features a random “hot” Sox player who has better stats than some slumping Blue Jay. There’s also a Predict The Game app, treating sophisticated Sox fans like 7-year-olds.

Demonstrating once again - if there wasn't a losing team Shank would have nothing to write about. From there, he says nice things about the Celtics, basically calls Patriorts coach Bill Belichick a liar and rags on the Bruins a bit. In other words, the usual stuff

Rewriting History, A Continuing Series

New York Mets pitcher Tom Seaver passed away earlier this week. Shank lets his imagination run wild:

Tom Seaver was the prince of New York City. He was the greatest New York Met of all time and there is no close second. He was the Franchise, Tom Terrific, the Hall of Fame ace of the 1969 Miracle Mets. Books were written about him, movies were made, and when it was learned he died this week, all three New York metropolitan dailies ripped up their front pages and started anew with tributes to Tom Seaver. New York, New York. That was Tom Seaver. But he also pitched the final games of his career for the Boston Red Sox in 1986. And if he hadn’t hurt his knee in Toronto in late September, he would have started Game 4 of the World Series against the Mets instead of Al Nipper. With Seaver in the rotation, I believe the Red Sox would have won that haunting World Series.

NOTE - the new verson of Blogger isn't taking line / page breaks into account, thus resulting in one big paragraph. I'll figure out a solution / workaround when time permits.