DHL Dan XC - Painfully Uninformed

...and that might be a big understatement:

Why we can’t tell how good the Patriots are, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while watching the gluten-free, Red Sox-free baseball playoffs . . .

■ It is impossible to tell how good the Patriots are because of the historically bad level of the teams they have played. Truly unbelievable. The aggregate record of the Patriots’ five opponents thus far is 5-18. There are only four winless teams in the NFL, and the Patriots have played three of them in the first five weeks.

Patriots fans, ever-sensitive and protective of The Wall, don’t like the Tomato Can narrative, but it has never been more applicable. In five weeks, the Patriots have faced the wretched of the wretched. Terrible coaches and quarterbacks. Every week.

Actually, there are a number of indicators, the first one being the Patriots are the only 5 - 0 team in the NFL. The Patriots have scored 155 points so far this season, second only to the Ravens with 161. Conversely, the Patriots have allowed a total of 34 points this season. The next two closest teams to that mark are the 49ers (3 games played, 54 points allowed) with the Buffalo Bills next (4 games, 70 points) and the lowest total for a five-game team are the Titans at 76. I'd say that's sufficient to answer Shank's question - they're the best team in the NFL as it stands now but somehow that doesn't seem to register at all with him. As a wise man once said, 'you are what your record says you are'.

Secondly, I'll say this - I don't believe Shank has watched much of the Patriots this year. My observation over the years about Shank's engagement with the Patriots can be determined by two things - game day tweets and columns about Patriots games. To this point in the year he's only done game day tweets last week (Pats at Bills) and he's written no columns about a Patriots game this year. Way to shed that label of being lazy prick!

The rest of the Picked-Up Pieces column shows a heavy interest in baseball and the Red Sox and the usual odd tidbits here and there.

And now for the piece de resistance - if you still have doubts about Shank being an asshole, I can remove that doubt with one sentence:

■ November’s Vanity Fair has an excellent lengthy feature on Bob Kraft’s visits to Orchids of Asia before last year’s AFC Championship game.

Like I said - what possible motive would Shank have to write that sentence other than to stab Bob Kraft yet again in print? What are the odds of the Boston Globe or Shaughnessy mentioning this effete snob magazine's 'excellent lengthy feature' at least a few more times over the next couple of weeks?

Oh - almost forgot one:

■ Brad Stevens knows we all want Tacko Fall to be the 12th man on the Celtics roster. “Everybody wants Tacko,’’ said the coach. “My kids are the same way.” Tacko has to be better than Greg Kite, right?

Who wants to tell Shank that current NBA rosters now have fifteen players and have been for quite some time?