When Golf Tournaments Were Wicked Pissa

The TPC Boston returns to Norton, MA this weekend. It's now known as the Dell Technologies Championship, formerly known as the Deutsche Bank Championship (likely due to recent financial difficulties).

Since the likes of Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer will not be playing, Shank will not show much interest in the event. That is, unless someone's using a portable urinal to take a piss.

Trolling Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

A few days after getting swept at home by the Baltimore Orioles, Shank goes with this tweet:

Red Sox might clinch AL East before 10 p.m.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 30, 2017

Isn't That Lovely?

Guess what we're going to get tortured with over the next six months?

On today with @ZoandBertrand from 11-1. Pats roster (Zo sys O'Shaughnessy is in!), Celtic-Cavs trade and Sox fold on agenda.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 29, 2017

Just fuckin' shoot me now...

Addition By Subtraction

For me, ESPN is ruined by the self-important, egotistical Sports Center characters like Stuart Scott, Kenny Mayne (a whole 'nother level of douchebaggery), Scott Van Pelt and this guy, who started it all. Enjoy your retirement.

It was one of those special nights, a reward for a job well done, a life well lived. Best known as “Boomer” to sports fans of America, Chris Berman had Citi Field box seats by the dugout for himself, his 30-year-old son Doug, and Doug’s fiancee Clare. It was the eve of Berman’s 62nd birthday and they were going to watch the Mets play the San Francisco Giants, his favorite team since his days as a boy in New York’s Westchester County.

It was Tuesday, May 9, and Berman, ESPN’s original franchise player, was enjoying the early months of a victory lap, accepting daily congrats after stepping down from his 31-year position as host of the network’s NFL game-day studio programming.

If It's The Patriots Preseason

...it's Shank's season to shit on the Kraft family:

#Patriots https://t.co/XuwqVJwnBz

— Dan Roche (@RochieWBZ) August 26, 2017

Caption contest? https://t.co/5ukHJ5CmWA

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 26, 2017

You stay classy, Shank!

Shank On The Kyrie Irving Trade

Looks like the latest Celtics trade gave Shank something to write about.

At long last, fireworks.

I am all in on the Celtics’ acquisition of Kyrie Irving. I haven’t been this sold on a Boston sports transaction since the Red Sox signed free agent third baseman Pablo Sandoval for five years and $95 million.

OK, bad example. The Panda thing didn’t work out. And truthfully, Danny Ainge’s bold trade could blow up on him if the Brooklyn pick becomes Hakeem Olajuwon and Irving goes all Carl Everett on us.

But that’s not going to happen. The Celtics just picked up one of the best point guards in the NBA, the second-best player in the Eastern Conference, a 25-year-old Basketball Jones who scored 25 points per game last season and can lead Boston to the NBA Finals.

Of course, that's what the Celtics were thinking when they picked up Gordon Hayward earlier this summer. Here's hoping it doesn't wind up being a repeat of the crap sandwich clash of egos that trashed the Cavaliers after the NBA finals.

DHL Dan LIX / Rewriting History

Red Sox owner John Henry's is the latest in a torrent of politically correct efforts to rewrite history by removing the names of people they do not approve of. Shank is there to cover it:

Picked-up pieces while wondering whether angry Patriots fans still believe Roger Goodell (about to sign a five-year contract extension) is going to lose his job over his grotesque “mishandling” of Deflategate.

■ Red Sox owner John Henry is “haunted” by the Yawkey legacy of racism and would like Yawkey Way renamed to Big Papi Way. The Globe’s Adrian Walker, in a December 2015 column headlined, “It’s time to banish the racist legacy of Tom Yawkey,’’ wrote, “Why on earth does Boston have a street called Yawkey Way? . . . Changing the name of a street is simple enough . . . The time has come.’’

So Red Sox ownership sat on its hands for two years (and more) until there's sufficient cover to make the move? Brave stance, guys!

So now the debate is on. The climate is ripe for change.

Henry said that former Mayor Thomas Menino was not agreeable to a street-name change, which was suggested by former Red Sox CEO Larry Lucchino shortly after the turn of the century, but current Mayor Marty Walsh seems ready to move on the combustible issue.

However, there's backup on this one. All that and more in the latest edition of the Shank mailbag...

The Judge / Benintendi Postulation

Shank comes back from vacation / extended hiatus to compare the two rookies:

Aaron Judge vs. Andrew Benintendi.

Forget 2017 American League Rookie of the Year. I’m asking . . . which guy would you rather have on your team for the next 15 seasons?

We love these Yankee-Red Sox mano-a-manos. It’s as old as the rivalry itself.

You know the drill from here - comparisons to Yankees / Red Sox players of yesteryear ensues, as does the Judge / Benintendi comparison.

Fred Lynn Watch?

I'd sure hate to change the name of this blog, but Shank keeps bringing up his name whenever he writes about Red Sox second year player Andrew Benintendi.

NEW YORK — Andrew Benintendi hit a pair of three-run homers off Yankee ace Luis Severino in Saturday’s 10-5 Red Sox win over the Yankees. Benintendi’s performance reminded some of us of Freddie Lynn in 1975.

Lynn was American League MVP and Rookie of the Year in ’75 and led the Red Sox all the way to the seventh game of the World Series. He hit .331 with 21 homers and 105 RBIs. He also enjoyed one of the great days at the plate in Red Sox history.

Hop into the Wayback Machine for a moment:

I'll pass, unless I can find my bell bottoms and a few 8-tracks.

Get Me Rewrite!

How many times do you think Shank has written this column?

The legendary Joe DiMaggio was ever-jealous of the legendary Ted Williams. Late in life, when both superstars were in their 70s and occasionally appeared at the same event, Joe insisted on being introduced as “the greatest living ballplayer.’’

Bill Lee hated Billy Martin, Graig Nettles, and the rest of the 1970s Yankees. He called the Bronx Bombers “Yankee brownshirts.”

Also - third column in a row where comments have been disabled.

How Soon...

... is now?

But seriously, folks - about nineteen hours from now, the New England Patriots will play their first preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars in Foxborough. A few of the top starters will not be playing, among them Tom Brady, Julian Edelman and Gronk.

Here's what I want to know - how soon does Shank first deploy that vastly overused phrase 'tomato can(s)' to describe any and all Patriots opponents?

Shank On The Baseball Show

So I'm in the car and I turn on 98.5 around 6:22 this afternoon, just in time to hear the second caller of the hour slam the fill-in host for Tony Massarotti, which would be Our Man Shank. The guy got past the call screener(s) and ambushed Shank, telling him he sucked. That made my day.

DHL Dan - LVIII

Shank cleverly (or not so cleverly) disguises a Picked Up Pieces column as the first shot this season in his ongoing war with the New England Patriots.

■ We all love Tom Brady. Great leader. Great champion. Greatest quarterback of all time. Maybe greatest football player of all time. But his answer about his wife’s televised contention that he had a concussion last year (and that he’s had concussions pretty much every year) is unacceptable in light of his nonstop promotion of the “TB12 Method.’’

When asked Friday about his wife’s statement that he had a concussion last season, Brady answered, “I really don’t think that’s anybody’s business, you know, what happened last year.”

To be fair, I think Shank has a point, now with all the CTE cases coming out and some implied level of obligation to discuss his own situation or the situation in general.

Two other points on this part of the column - I think there's still some institutional Globe butthurt about getting called out on this column (for which I'll support Tom Brady flipping the bird to the media in spite of the previous paragraph), and in what may be a related item, there are no comments to this current column, making it two columns in a row.

The rest of the column is worth reading, and I'm not just saying that after a couple of brewskis...

Should I Pass?

I'll go check in just to see how Shank can negatively spin a six game winning streak.

On CSNNE's The Baseball Show now with Lou and Evan. Til 8. Tune in and we'll take your questions.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 6, 2017

UPDATE AT 10:30 PM - It was a surprisingly good show. Shank had no negative agenda against the Red Sox (other than with Jared Carrabis, who's finally figured out Shank is an enemy).

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LVII

It takes a special kind of douche to bring politics into an article about a solar eclipse:

The path of viewing spots for this month’s solar eclipse cuts overwhelmingly through places that voted for Trump. https://t.co/uymDqqKAsO pic.twitter.com/1yoUuN0Wp5

— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) August 1, 2017

The Boston Baseball Experience

The David Price / Dennis Eckersley kerfuffle sure brings back some memories for Shank.

Imagine being a young pitching star in Boston. You’ve got a Cy Young Award at home. You’ve won 20 games in a season. You do a ton of charity work and you’ve got your own foundation. Your first child is a baby boy. Your Red Sox are in first place.

Life should be good. But you’re getting crushed by Sox fans and sports talk radio. Fans think you make too much money. They say you never win in the playoffs. And they are mad because you said some regrettable things when you thought you were defending your teammates.

David Price, 2017?

No.

Say hello to Roger Clemens, circa 1988.

I'm sure I don't need to mention who was one of the people doing the 'getting crushed' dance in the print media, now do I?

Of course, that attitude Shank had towards Clemens sure changed - just time the delivery of a stuffed doll to perfection.

It's Not Me, It's You

David Price spoke on Saturday and the tone was not exactly one of reconciliation. Dennis Eckersley flips him the bird right back:

Dennis Eckersley has no interest in meeting with David Price. And he has no intention of changing his broadcasting style.

“I’m cool with everything,’’ Eckersley told the Globe before Tuesday night’s dramatic 12-10 walkoff victory over the Indians. “I’ve moved on. I’m just going to keep doing what I do, which is call it like I see it. It’s all about the Red Sox and the ultimate goal of winning it all.’’

Eckersley returned to Fenway Tuesday to fulfill a commitment to appear in the club’s Legends Suite during the Red Sox-Indians game. He is scheduled to return to the NESN booth Thursday when the Red Sox play the White Sox at Fenway.

Good - I hope Eck starts trolling the mother fucker.