And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - XLIII

You know the ship is sinking when you need nonprofits to help pay your salaries.

If newspapers are going to survive and thrive, then various types of nonprofit/for-profit partnerships will almost certainly be part of the mix.

At the extreme end is the Philadelphia Inquirer, which, along with its sister paper, the Daily News, and their joint website, Philly.com, were donated earlier this year to the nonprofit Philadelphia Foundation. The media properties still need to find a way to break even, but it does save them from the pressure of cutting their way to profits in order to satisfy a corporate owner.

You could say most newspapers are already 'nonprofit', if ya know what I mean!

A more modest step was announced in today’s Boston Globe. Zoë Madonna, a young prize-winning critic, will be paid through a nonprofit grant to write about classical music for the next 10 months while Globe critic Jeremy Eichler is on leave at Harvard. The money will come from the Rubin Institute for Music Criticism, the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, and the Ann and Gordon Getty Foundation.

According to a press release from the Rubin Institute, which awarded her its 2014 prize in music criticism, the benefactors “will consider an ongoing strategy to support this endeavor on a national scale” once Madonna’s stint at the Globe has been completed. Globe editor Brian McGrory is quoted as saying:

I'm sure the need for a classical music critic is right at the top of the needs for modern newspapers - and the Globe wonders why they're shitting the bed...

The Obligatory John Lackey Column

With so many former Red Sox players in the World Series this year, Shank could have treated it like he treats spring training - run a different column each day and focus on a single player. Since that's probably too much work for the World Series, we see only a brief example of this when Shank writes about John Lackey.

John Lackey. Did anybody ever have a goofier Red Sox career than him?

Lackey seemed like a perfectly happy guy in the eight years he pitched for the Angels. He was an innings-eater and early in his career demonstrated that he was not afraid of the big stage. When he was a 24-year-old rookie, Lackey pitched and won the seventh game of the World Series against Barry Bonds and the San Francisco Giants. Joe Maddon was the Angels bench coach. LA’s manager-for-life Mike Scioscia gave Lackey the ball for 12 postseason starts in eight years.

And then the trouble started. Instead of staying in California or going home to Texas (his warm-up music Saturday was Garth Brooks’s “Friends in Low Places), Lackey played out his contract with the Angels, hit the free agent market, and was seduced by Red Sox millions, signing a five-year, $82.5 million deal.

At Fenway he made fast friends with Josh Beckett, Lester, and Clay Buchholz, but Fenway was never a good fit for the tall Texan.

The first thing that didn’t fit was Lackey’s habit of showing up his teammates when they didn’t make a play behind him. To a man, the teammates said it did not bother them, but it looked bad and Boston fans and media were unforgiving. Lackey went 14-11 in his first season playing for Francona.

Any member of the media in particular, Shank?

Lackey has simply got to go. He’s coming off the worst season by a starting pitcher in more than a century of Red Sox baseball, and he’s regularly shown up his teammates and his manager. Bookend all that with his TMZ personal issues and his place in the biscuit brigade and you’ve got a local pariah on a par with none other. The Red Sox are on the hook for three more years to the tune of $45.5 million, but they simply cannot bring him back. Even if they had to eat most of the money. Or all the money.

Finally Telling The Truth

I'm sure this is an inadvertent disclosure...

CHICAGO — The white-hot Cleveland Indians thrashed the Cubs again Saturday night, this time by a score of 7-2. The Tribe holds a three-games-to-one lead and has a chance to win its first World Series in 68 years Sunday night at Wrigley Field.

So I ask you, Baseball America . . . while acknowledging that this is not yet over . . . if the low-payroll, underdog, no-name Tribe wins the 112th World Series, is the lasting narrative one of the Indians winning or the Cubs losing?

I am a flip-flopper on this one. I feel strongly both ways. Stay with me and play along if you like:

I have better ways to waste my time...

Cubs Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Killing time until that next riveting World Series column:

The Cubs have been shut out in four of their last eight games.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 29, 2016

Joe West at second base tonight. Inching closer to where he can do real damage. On tap for Homeplate if there's a Game 6

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 30, 2016

Woodstock Watch

Let the clichés commence!

Wrigley Field turns into Woodstock

CHICAGO — The Cleveland Indians clearly did not get the memo about their role in this Cub-centric World Series. The Sons of Terry Francona are supposed to be mere props in the nationwide coronation of the Chicago Cubs.

They are not. Tito’s Tribe got an RBI single from Coco Crisp and stuffed the Cubs, 1-0, Friday, giving Cleveland a 2-1 lead in the 112th World Series.

“That’s a heck of a win,’’ said Francona, who made multiple moves and emptied his bench. “That was agonizing. We needed to win that game in nine because we used so many guys . . . We don’t worry too much about outside expectations. What’s important is how we feel about ourselves. We want to be one run better and that’s about as true-to-form as you can get.’’

It was the first World Series game played at Wrigley Field in 71 years and there was a Woodstock-like feel around the ballpark all day and night. We even had (Kyle) Hendricks facing (Carlos) Santana to start the game. Wrigleyville could have been Max Yasgur’s farm.

Shank sure loves reliving past events, doesn't he?

More clichés and the paint-by-numbers Shank walk down memory lane ensue from there.

Captain Obvious Has A Twitter Account

You don't say?

Wrigley will be busier in four hours pic.twitter.com/7BiQP0oNYn

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 28, 2016

Swing And A Miss

That would be this blogger not noticing Shank's latest column until ten minutes ago:

CLEVELAND — Ever-agitated Red Sox manager John McNamara said it best for longtime losers when he walked into a press conference after his team’s hideous Game 6 collapse against the Mets (The Bill Buckner Game) and announced, “I don’t know nothing about history and I don’t want to hear about choking or any of that crap.’’

That was 30 years ago and Mac has been hearing about it ever since.

This is the weight the Chicago Cubs carried into Progressive Field Wednesday night. The Cubbies were smothered by the surprising Cleveland Indians in Game 1, and given their history, the Cubbies could ill afford to fall behind two games to none.

Familiar Complaint

Harkening back to those Red sox / Yankees games...

Baseball is killing itself with this pace. 297 pitches through seven innnings. We are almost three and a half hours old. Awful

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 27, 2016

Trying To Have It Both Ways

It doesn't take long for Shank to jump from one bandwagon to another:

CLEVELAND — Cubs, Cubs, Cubs. This World Series is about the Billy Goat Curse, Steve Bartman, Wrigley Field, Theo Epstein, Jon Lester, Back To The Future II, 108 years, and dozens of essays by high-minded intellectuals explaining what a life-changing moment it will be when the lovable losers from the North Side finally win the World Series.

Swell.

But all of this leaves the needy folks of Cleveland asking, “What about us?’’

This crap, from the same guy who was telling Red Sox fans two short weeks ago they have to root for the Cubs.

Listen up folks; there is actually a second team in this 112th World Series and the Cleveland Indians won’t be mere props in the Cubs’ inexorable march to the crown. The Tribe made this abundantly clear Tuesday night, thrashing the Cubs, 6-0, to take the first game of the World Series. Cleveland’s No. 9 batter, Roberto Perez, who hit three homers all season, hit two in his first Series game and Terry Francona improved his Fall Classic record to a preposterous 9-0. Cleveland has now won eight of nine in this postseason (four shutouts), shredding your Red Sox, the Blue Jays and now the Cubs — big payroll, star-laden teams, all favored to beat Cleveland easily.

So when does the national narrative become about the Indians? Fact is, if not for the presence of the Cubs, the Indians would be the ones posing as sentimental favorites in the Fall Classic.

Remember - this is the same city Shank took a major league shit on a year and a half ago, and now pretends to like the city. He's utterly shameless.

Taken To The Woodshed

Instead of a tweet or two about the upcoming World Series between the Cleveland Native Americans and the Chicago Cubs, Shank has to a) look backwards instead of forwards and b) keep shitting on the Red Sox instead:

I can't be the first to note that today is the 30th annniversary of Red Sox-Mets Game 6 and Bill "Behind the Bag!!!" Buckner.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 25, 2016

Reader reaction follows, leading off is former WFNX lead leftist Henry Santoro:

@Dan_Shaughnessy - I talked about it on WGBH today.

— HenrySantoro(@HenrySantoro) October 25, 2016

Where I'm sure all of ten people heard it...

Other weigh-ins:

@Dan_Shaughnessy maybe you can be the first in your class to note that the real goats of that game were ScharldiGedmanand Stanley

— James Kellogg (@jkeggs1121) October 25, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy why the fuck would you want to do that Dan? Why?

— Michael J Mousseau(@mooseman137) October 25, 2016

Because he's a world class asshole, that's why.

Classic response, encapsulating Shank perfectly:

@Dan_Shaughnessy pic.twitter.com/wNK6GEYAwr

— Zachary Lang (@therealZachLang) October 25, 2016

Can't top that one - thread is over!

Rewriting History, Part II

My co-blogger notes in the post below the many times Shank has trashed a Red Sox player, manager or general manager as they were ending their tenure in Boston, only to have their careers resuscitated in Chicago or Cleveland. Shank's world class hypocrisy tour continues today as we await Game 1 of the 2016 World Series.

CLEVELAND — Theo and Tito.

Theirs are names from “Sesame Street,’’ or perhaps a couple of characters for a children’s book series: “Theo and Tito Go to the Zoo.’’ “Theo and Tito Say, ‘Goodnight, Moon.’ ’’

When I read a Shank column, I often think I'm reading a children's book.

But they are neither muppets nor fiction. Theo Epstein and Terry “Tito” Francona are the men who in 2004 brought Boston its first baseball championship in 86 years. Then they did it again in 2007.

Theo and Tito were together on Yawkey Way for eight years, winning an average of 93 games per season, making the playoffs five times, and filling Fenway for every game of every season. When they left after the chicken-and-beer collapse of 2011 — Theo voluntarily, Tito being pushed — it was like the breakup of Boston’s baseball Beatles.

Shank should have written them a thank you letter for the chicken & beer fiasco - he got about ten columns out of it.

Theo and Tito were together on Yawkey Way for eight years, winning an average of 93 games per season, making the playoffs five times, and filling Fenway for every game of every season. When they left after the chicken-and-beer collapse of 2011 — Theo voluntarily, Tito being pushed — it was like the breakup of Boston’s baseball Beatles.

Now they are on opposite sides of two “other” long-suffering franchises in the 112th World Series, which starts Tuesday night at Progressive Field. The Chicago Cubs, led by general manager Theo Epstein, have not won a World Series since 1908 and have not even participated in the Fall Classic since 1945. The Cleveland Indians, managed by Terry Francona, have not won a World Series since 1948. We have two plagued ball clubs led by a pair of curse-busting bosses.

Something has to give.

Dan Shaughnessy - Master of the Obvious.

Out Nitwitted

First he takes credit for running them out of town. Then he criticizes their deportations.

So which is it, Shank?

The pending World Series matchup, writes The CHB, is an "emotional duel of guys who were dumped by the Red Sox, or quit the Red Sox."

As you might have guessed, it's a really stupid column.

But first, a shot at the 2016 Red Sox, which despite their 93 wins, were overrated, he argues, because they lost "the majority of their close games."

It's true that the Red Sox were 20-24 in one-run games in 2016. But guess who else was under .500 in one-run games? The Cubs (22-23). And guess who had the best record in the AL East in one-run games? The Yankees (24-12), who finished 9 games back of the Sox. And guess who had the majors' best record in one-run games? The Rangers (36-11), who are sitting home right now too.

It's a specious argument. But then again, The CHB is a specious guy.

The CHB's breakdown of the players who the Sox traded away is equal parts laughable and fallacy. Mike Napoli? Coco Crisp? No one wanted these guys.

Not even Shank, who on Jul. 8, 2015, said: "I would cut Napoli, just let him go." That was a few years after he blasted the Sox for keeping Crisp and letting Johnny Damon walk.

Andrew Miller was a stud, but the Sox picked up a stud lefty starter in return. Don't take my word for it: Shank said so here: "Eduardo Rodriguez has a chance to become Dan Duquette’s Jeff Bagwell."

And just one month ago he said he thought Rodriguez should be the third starter in the playoffs for the Red Sox.

Then there's Theo Epstein, of whom Shaughnessy said his "slow rebuilding style would not have worked in Boston the way it has in Chicago. ... Theo on a six-year plan with a $19 million contract, that's pretty easy to do that. I'm going to sat Boston wouldn't tolerate what Chicago went through to get here."

And in another column, this one for SI, from Dec. 14, 2009: "Epstein is touting organization prospects named Jose Iglesias, Ryan Kalish, Ryan Westmorland, Casey Kelly and Lars Anderson, but they are a couple of years away. In Boston the message needs to be 'win now.'"

In fact, he wrote in August 2012 that Theo deserved more blame for the state of the Red Sox than he's getting. "Epstein made a ton of bad moves in the later years of his tenure, then went to Chicago for a $19 million contract and watched from afar as the Sox decomposed. ...  Mistakes were made. Money was spent badly. The Sox lost their way and tried to throw money at their problems."

As for the others:

• Adrian Gonzalez is "the Kryptonite of winning baseball teams. He’s the Cooler." 
• "(John) Lackey has simply got to go. He’s coming off the worst season by a starting pitcher in more than a century of Red Sox baseball, and he’s regularly shown up his teammates and his manager." 
• Jon Lester was a disloyal ingrate who threw manager Terry Francona under the bus and was a key part on "the most loathed Boston team in history."
• And as for that David Price signing: "The Sox have wisely junked their phony, “We don’t need an ace” philosophy and signed the best free agent pitcher. Not afraid to admit they were wrong, the Sox on Tuesday agreed to a deal with 30-year-old lefthanded starter David Price on a seven-year, $217 million contact. Nitwits and analytic overthinkers will immediately fret about how the Sox will not be getting commensurate value three, four, or five years from now."

Who's the nitwit now? Shank, to thine own self be true.

On This Day In Baseball History

Good thing Shank's around to remind us of all the positive things that have happened with the Red Sox.

Oh, wait!

Forty one years ago tonight . . . Game 7 . . . Reds, Red Sox. Bill Lee and the eephus pitch. Jim Burton . . . Ouch

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 22, 2016

Shank Tries His Hand In Politics

Disagree with a liberal? You must be unhinged!

Always disappointing when performers u like turn out to be politically . . . Unhinged? #Jameswoods

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 20, 2016

You Should Talk About Arrogance

Looks like something set off 'Ol Danny Boy today:

Patriot fans have amazing arrogance given that they have won one of the last 11 Super Bowls and that was given to them by Pete Carroll

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 20, 2016

And the Red Sox winning the World Series in 2013 was a fluke. Some people are just born miserable, negative assholes.

Twitter users cut loose:

@Dan_Shaughnessy I'm a Denver fan & can't believe the bullshit you are tweeting. Pats are one of the best NFL organizations in my lifetime

— Damon Pettit (@DamonPettit) October 20, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Shaughnessy has amazing arrogance that he thinks we still read him

— Matt (@maddcapp45) October 20, 2016

It's a thankless task, but someone's gotta do it!

@Dan_Shaughnessy NFL success should never be defined exclusively by winning SBs. Always being in SB contention for 15 yrs. is unprecedented

— Eugene Frenette(@GeneFrenette) October 20, 2016

Don't confuse Shank with the facts - he's got an organization to denigrate!

@Dan_Shaughnessy didn't you put the Patriots in the Super Bowl after week 3 or 4?

— BederowLaw (@Bederowlaw) October 20, 2016

"See you in Houston" from four days ago - confirmed!

@Dan_Shaughnessy wow Dan if you go back just 1 more year it's 2 in 12, then 3 in 13 then 4 in 15.

— C Feeney (@cfeeney12) October 20, 2016

Right - he has this convenient / bad habit of arranging the numbers to suit his agenda.

Go read the rest of the thread if you want more Shank bashing.

Piss Off, Shank - DHL Dan - LIX

If I were Tom Brady, that's what I'd tell Shank, who called Brady a cheater just three months ago. That's how he leads off this latest installment of the Picked Up Pieces column.

Picked-up pieces while waiting for the next David Ortiz celebration at Fenway Park . . .

■ I miss Channel 7’s Dan Hausle in Foxborough. There were no Donald Trump questions for Tom Brady on Wednesday. It was all about football. Swell. But Brady did himself no favors last week by walking out of a press conference after he was asked to comment on “locker room talk.’’

Hundreds of athletes have answered the question in the last two weeks. The locker room is a professional athlete’s workplace, and it’s no political statement for an athlete to define his understanding of “locker room talk.’’

It’s OK to say that talking about sexual assault talk is not part of your locker-room culture. LeBron James wasn’t afraid to say it. Even Troy Brown said he’d like to have heard something from Brady on the topic.

At this point in his career, I'm surprised Tom talks to the media at all. I sure as hell wouldn't.

Number Four, Bobby Orr

Shank, as he tends to do with every fifth column or so, takes a look back in time and notes Bobby Orr's first game with the Boston Bruins:

There’s a Gretzky Camp and a Gordie Howe Camp, but around these parts, there has never been any doubt that Bobby Orr is the greatest hockey player who ever lived.

There’s no way to prove it, of course. It’s a subjective sports argument, which is part of what makes it fun. But for those of us who grew up around Boston and saw Orr play, there can never be any doubt. The rest of you can check the videotape, talk to folks who played with or against him, and maybe take a gander at that statue of a flying Bobby after the Mother’s Day goal in 1970.

I raise this topic today not because the young Bruins of 2016 are playing their home opener at the New Garden Thursday night, but because this week marks the 50th anniversary of Orr’s first game with the Bruins at the Old Garden in 1966.

Fifty years. The golden anniversary for the Golden Child. How can it be that a half-century has passed since the night we first saw the crew-cut teen-ager from Parry Sound, Ontario?

To be fair to Shank, this column did look like it took some level of effort; it's not the usual piece of crap he churns out on a routine basis.

Trolling 301

I'm getting the impression Scott Zolak doesn't like Shank:

Roethlisberger has surgery today. So once again, we are assured Pats have no tests before playoffs. #TomatoCans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 17, 2016

Stay home tomorrow https://t.co/nWuWQtNmPn

— Scott Zolak (@scottzolak) October 17, 2016

He Says This Every Year

Sound familiar?

Tomato Can Update: Go ahead, name the 2nd-best team in the AFC.
Pats facing easiest path to SB ever. Competition a joke.
See U in Houston

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 16, 2016

Reader reaction is as you'd expect:

@Dan_Shaughnessy I honestly don't get your motivation for tweets like this? To jab Pats fans? To discredit the Patriots wins? To be witty?

— Joe Costa (@joepcosta) October 16, 2016

Pretty sure it's not the latter reason...

@Dan_Shaughnessy
Original take as usual, Shank.

Yawn.

— FBombah(@FBombah) October 16, 2016

Precisely.

@Dan_Shaughnessy I hate this Dan-It's tired & old storyline. Also easy & intellectually dishonest to sum up Pats success with this argument.

— Jay (@jayjonsnow) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy "tomatocan" still isntfunny or clever

— THE Jonny Con Carne (@MrJonnyConCarne) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy eat.sleep.troll.repeat.

— Robbie (@RobbieGourmet) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy @Gary_Tanguay same thing every year Dan........does any reporter actually make an effort anymore?

— sjazz23 (@SteveJasinski) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy what do you get out of this lame weekly take?

— harry legend (@harrylegend33) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy they seem to have a tomato can schedule every year according to yourself. You're a loser.

— DevaughnPape(@popegnarlofdeec) October 16, 2016

At Least He Has A New Thing

Compare and contrast with Captain Coin Toss, Double Score, Tomato Cans...

Brady's new thing is to come out of the tunnel with no helmet. Did it last week in Cleveland.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 16, 2016

Hot Takes, By Dan Shaughnessy

Aren't you glad to have Shank around to discuss the implications of a freaking coin toss?

Wow. Marvin Lewis knew enough to make Pats take the ball? Stunner. Maybe Bengals have a chance? Doubt it.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 16, 2016

Hot Political Takes, By Dan Shaughnessy

Whatever that's supposed to mean...

Senator Joseph McCarthy. Look him up.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 14, 2016

The One Where Shank Lectures Red Sox Fans

First, let's shit on the 2016 Red Sox some more:

The front-running Red Sox (last nine games: eight losses, one champagne bash, five Ortiz celebrations) have slinked home for the winter, telling you that the whole staff is coming back and everything is just swell with the Local Nine. The team that scored the most runs in baseball, consensus national media darlings, got broomed by a team that didn’t have two of its best pitchers or one of its best hitters, but never mind any of that. Masters of their own hype, the Red Sox no doubt will be preseason favorites to get to the 2017 World Series. They always are . . . even though they have failed to win a playoff game in seven of the last eight Octobers.

Now that the Red Sox are out of the playoffs, you, Red Sox fans, need to jump off the bandwagon like Shank and root, root, root for someone else, like the Chicago Cubs Why's that, you ask?

If you are a Red Sox fan, the Cubs are your team the rest of the way. They are sitting on a drought of 108 years since winning their last World Series. You know what 86 years feels like. Like the Sox, the Cubs have been masters of the near-miss. They had Steve Bartman the same year the Sox had Aaron Boone. They had Leon Durham before you had Bill Buckner. They have the Billy Goat where you had the Bambino. They had the black cat before you had Bucky Dent.

They have Theo Epstein, the Brookline-born architect of the 2004 Red Sox. Theo has wingmen Jed Hoyer and Jason McLeod, the same guys who helped build the Red Sox when they were kids. The Cubs have grandpa catcher David Ross, who was one of the spiritual leaders of the 2013 Red Sox. They have John Lackey, who hated Boston, but pitched his butt off and won the final game of the 2013 World Series.

You guys remember Theo Epstein, right? The guy Shank tried running out of town one year after winning that World Series at the behest of Larry Lucchino?

Let's start with Theo being a ''baseball guy" while Larry is a lawyer with a lofty title (CEO). Granted, Epstein is a student of the game, but it's a mistake to say he knows more about baseball than Lucchino or anyone else in the Red Sox baseball operation. Theo is 31 years old and did not play baseball past high school. He spent four years at Yale and three years at law school. That hardly leaves time for much more than rotisserie league scouting. He can read the data and has a horde of trusty, like-minded minions, but we're not talking about a lifetime of beating the bushes and scouting prospects. Lucchino was a good high school baseball player and made it to the NCAA Final Four with Princeton's basketball team. He came to baseball as an executive in 1979, when Theo was 5 years old. That doesn't make him George Digby or Ray Boone, but he's not Les Otten, either.

Lucchino-bashers, and they are legion, maintain that he repeatedly has undermined Theo and on occasion killed deals made by Epstein and the minions. There was one, for sure. When Theo's assistant Josh Byrnes (hired by Arizona as GM Friday) made a deal with Colorado, Epstein thought he had a better deal with another club and requested that Lucchino fall on the sword and invoke the ownership approval clause to kill the Rockies deal. Accustomed to people hating him, Lucchino took the fall, killing the deal and saving Epstein.

It was charged last week that Sox management conducted a ''smear campaign" against Epstein. How? Where's the campaign? It was correctly reported that Theo turned down a three-year deal at $1.2 million per year. That's a smear campaign? There have been no quotes from Sox management on the negotiations. Lucchino and Epstein called me together at home Friday night but said they could say nothing about Theo's contract talks because they had not spoken with other outlets. So much for the Globe's ''home-court advantage" (the Globe's parent company, The New York Times Company, owns 17 percent of the Red Sox). So much for the cartel. In fact, Epstein's minions probably have done more talking about Theo's situation than anyone in Sox management. When postseason baseball visited Chicago, at least one nationally known Lucchino-hating Epstein source was trashing the Sox CEO to anyone who'd listen.

Question for Shank - is it still a mistake to say he knows more about baseball than Lucchino or anyone else in the Red Sox baseball operation?

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Shank often lacks self-awareness, or awareness in general:

@Dan_Shaughnessy that would be like the Boston Globe helping the Clinton campain against Bernie....oh wait.

— Yianni P. (@Yianni124) October 12, 2016

And Now For More Dan Shaughnessy Bashing

Somehow I missed this little gem from last week, involving formerly butthurt Cavaliers and Indians fans:

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy wrote a piece last year that will forever remain in Clevelanders' memories.

Headlined "In long-suffering Cleveland, Cavaliers offer a ray of hope," he sounded like he was on Cleveland's team. However, the truth came out in the second paragraph when he judged the Cleveland Cavaliers staff for dropping confetti after the team beat the Boston Celtics in the opening game of the 2015 NBA Playoffs.

Shaughnessy did not stop there. He continued to rub salt in the wounds, reminding sports fans of the championship drought, urban decline and "The Decision." Those things were interspersed between a peppering of negative adjectives to describe the city.

Fast forward to October 2016: the Cavaliers are the world champions, a successful Republican National Convention came and went, and the Cleveland Indians are the AL Central champions for the first time in nine years.

The Indians face the Boston Red Sox in the first round of the MLB Playoffs, so there is a decent chance that Shaughnessy will be gracing Cleveland with his presence once again.

Cleveland.com welcomes you back with open arms, Dan.

Ah, the day Cleveland got Shanked! Well, they got the last laugh for now. Congratulations, Cleveland!

Happy 62nd, Bruce!

I've been amiss (remiss?) at congratulating the DSW's resident asshole (and former Boston Globe employee) Bruce Mo** in recent years on his continuing march towards cashing in those vaunted Social Security cheques, so Happy Belated Birthday, Brucie!

Tax policy - really? Gee, let me think really long and hard where a former lifelong Globie comes down on 'tax policy'...

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - XLII

This will shock exactly no one:

Staff at The Boston Globe worked with Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign to maximize her “presence” during her primary race against Sen. Bernie Sanders, new emails show.

The exchange is one of thousands from the inbox of Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta leaked by the online hacktivist group WikiLeaks over the past week.

Bruce Mo** - still think the Globe has any credibility left?

Asshole Radio

Shank's doing Shank things this morning:

On now until noon with @ZoandBertrand. Crushing the Red Sox. Soft fans no doubt happy with Papi, but that was embarrassing.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 11, 2016

The Obligatory Shit On The Sox Column

I'm willing to bet he was writing this column in the fourth inning.

The fall of the 2016 Red Sox is complete. The Sox were the feel-good story of our summer, but it seems that it all went away when they held their division-clinching toga party in the Bronx after an embarrassing 5-3 walkoff loss at Yankee Stadium Sept. 28.

Since this is Shank, someone needs to be blamed and run out of town. Any guesses?

The Red Sox rightfully won the American League East, sweeping through Baltimore and Tampa, winning 11 straight games during the most critical stretch of September. And then everything stopped. A day after clinching, manager John Farrell “rested” Dustin Pedroia and Mookie Betts and pulled David Ortiz after a couple of at-bats, triggering a losing pattern that carried straight through the playoffs. The Sox lost their way during an interminable series of heartfelt sendoffs for David Ortiz and had nothing left when the championship tournament started last week.
...
The ignominious sweep no doubt will crank up the “Fire Farrell” bandwagon that rolled across New England for much of the spring and summer.

A paragraph later, Shank has a moment of clarity:

It’s certainly not Farrell’s fault that Rick Porcello and David Price spit the bit in their starts in Cleveland. It’s not Farrell’s fault that the Sox — who led the majors with 878 runs — scored seven runs in three games and hit .214 in this series. A team that went 20-24 in one-run games during the regular season lost two more one-run games in the playoffs.

Back On The Bandwagon

Dear Tom:

Remember when I called you a cheater?

We're good now, right?

Sincerely,

Your Pal Shank

CLEVELAND — More than a year and a half later — after “11 out of 12 balls” lost pressure, Mona Lisa Vito, the Wells Report In Context, Jimmy “Hotfingers” McNally, Fanboy Judge Berman, the Ideal Gas Law, Defending The Wall, and Free Tom Brady — the Patriots finally put Deflategate behind them Sunday at FirstEnergy Stadium on the banks of Lake Erie.

Brady returned from his football Alcatraz (a sentence served alternately at the Big House in Ann Arbor and sunbathing nude in Capri), torching the poor, pitiful Cleveland Browns, 33-13, in front of thousands of road trippers with Boston accents on an absolutely perfect football Sunday. Brady completed 28 of 40 passes for a Ted Williams-esque 406 yards, completed three touchdown passes to Martellus Bennett, and was not intercepted.

Ted Williams? Seriously? What a jerk.

He Can't Understand the Price

The CHB, Oct. 13, 2008: "I'm pretty sure we have not seen the last of Tampa's kid lefthander, David Price. The top pick in the nation (Vanderbilt) in 2007, the 6-foot-6-inch, 23-year-old flamethrower could emerge as the ultimate weapon in this series, and a potential Rays World Series. He picked up the win in Saturday/Sunday's epic, freezing Mark Kotsay on a hellacious two-strike pitch and retiring Coco Crisp on a grounder."

The CHB today: "Reggie Jackson was Mr. October. David Price is Mr. August." 

Yet again, Dan "Can't Do Math" Shaughnessy proves worthless as an analyst. You'd think a white guy from Groton with a kid who attacks cops would know a thing or two about small sample sizes. But no...


For his career in the ALCS, Mr. October hit .227 with 6 homers in 45 games. Sample size.

In his first 27 playoff games, Barry Bonds hit one homer and batted under .250. He then hit 8 bombs in his next 17 playoff games. Sample size. 

Want more evidence? The CHB, Oct. 14, 2008: "[David] Ortiz is 0 for 10 in the series and has not hit a homer in his last 14 postseason games. He has gotten away from using the whole field and appears to be trying to pull everything."

The five years later Oct. 31, 2013: "After Pedroia went out on a grounder to third, Wacha intentionally walked World Series MVP David Ortiz (.688). Good move."

Who Is He Kidding?

Missed this beauty from last night:

Not to be negative, but as it stands now, Sox potential Gm 5 starter is Porcello (0-3, 6.10 career PS) or Price (2-7, 5.12 career PS).

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 7, 2016

Asking The Important Questions

In a column conveniently timed to coincide with a Red Sox loss, Shank revisits a topic from earlier in the season:

CLEVELAND — In the wake of Thursday night’s terrific Game 1 — a 5-4 Red Sox loss that didn’t end until Dustin Pedroia’s checked-swing on a 3-2 pitch in the dirt — Sox fans have to be asking themselves one key question:

What pitcher on this staff do you trust?

The Sox came into this series against the Indians as prohibitive favorites, but they do not have a single pitcher with a postseason win as a starter. Rick Porcello gave up three homers in one inning Thursday and didn’t make it out of the fifth inning. David “Mr. July” Price gets the ball in Game 2 Friday. Boston’s closer is Craig Kimbrel, who’s been making everybody nervous lately.

Gulp.

Shank On The Red Sox - Indians ALDS Series

It's well known that Shank and Tito Francona collaborated on a book, and today we get partial confirmation on just how extensive that collaboration was, so we can skip the usual Shank column filler bullshit and cut to the chase:

Francona’s never going to go public with how much it would mean for him to beat Boston. That would be like Bill Belichick or Tom Brady acknowledging that winning the Super Bowl this season would be a little more special than all the others. No. It’s far more classy and diplomatic to shower everything with sweetness and ambiguity. Leave it to the carnivorous Boston media to connect the dots. (but I repeat myself! - ed.)

OK. Will do.

Tito is still hurt by how he was treated at the end in Boston. Knocking the Red Sox out of the playoffs would be sweet revenge. This matchup is more than a professional encounter. It’s a tad personal.

Did your unending barrage of chicken and beer columns have anything to do with that? Just asking!

Francona still has fondness for a lot of people and things around Fenway Park. He has great memories of the Starbucks on Route 9 in Chestnut Hill, the Marriott at Coolidge Corner, the Red Lantern, and the powerful shower head in his cramped old office at 4 Yawkey Way. He loves Dustin Pedroia almost as much as he loves his own kids and he’s been friends with John Farrell since they were teammates in Cleveland 28 years ago. Tito was Farrell’s chemo wing man when Farrell went for his first treatment at Mass. General in the summer of 2015.

And now they’re “facing” one another in the postseason.

“I’m not going up against John,’’ said Francona. “Our players are going to decide this. I have mixed emotions. He’s one of my best friends in the whole world — outside of baseball. So it pulls at you a little bit. The way I look at it, it’s an honor to be able to compete against them. And I’m including him in that. That’s kind of how I feel.’’

Shank occasionally writes good columns. This is one of them.

UPDATE AT 10:49 PM - Typos corrected in the first and last sentences.

The Big Finish

Instead of shitting on the New England patriots for losing to the Buffalo Bills, Shank devotes his latest column to Big Papi, playing his last regular season game for the Red Sox.

It was not Teddy Ballgame hitting a home run in his final big league plate appearance.

It was not even Yaz popping up to the second baseman in his final at-bat after 23 seasons in 1983.

David Ortiz played his last regular-season game for the Red Sox Sunday. He went 0 for 4 with two strikeouts as the Red Sox lost to the Blue Jays, 2-1, and whizzed away home-field advantage in the first round of the playoffs against Cleveland.

You'll see a lot of that 'get off my lawn' tone throughout the column, which makes it worth not reading.

Halftime

The Bills are beating the Patriots, 13-0 at the half. Does anyone think Shank takes a shit on the team should they go on to lose?

(yes, that was a rhetorical question!)

Patriots Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

You can't keep a good troll down:

Bills win toss and defer. So they still have a chance

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 2, 2016

Strange Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

A rare case of Shank looking forward instead of backward:

October. 9 Triple Header: Tom Brady comeback game in Cleveland; Red Sox-Indians ALDS Game 3; Clinton-Trump Game 2.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 1, 2016

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - XLI

It looks my dream of 135 Morrissey Boulevard turning into UMass-Boston dormitories will not be realized for a while:

Boston Globe CEO Mike Sheehan says he’s not planning for the company’s news and business operations at Morrissey Boulevard to move to its new home downtown until the middle of next year — months later than his earlier plans to target the move for Jan. 1, 2017.

In an interview this week, Sheehan said the date of Jan. 1 — which was reported by both the Globe and the Boston Business Journal last December — was “never etched in stone.” Some have speculated that it seemed like an ambitious plan to begin with, and that turns out to have been correct: The new space at the Exchange Place complex at 53 State St. ended up needing a lot more structural work than first thought, said Sheehan. He said the move will now occur “sometime probably mid-next year.”

Then again, the dream might not come true after all:

The Boston Business Journal has learned that the buyer of the Boston Globe’s 16.5-acre headquarters site in Dorchester is David Ridini of Center Court Properties, a New York-based real-estate development firm.

Since John Henry paid $70 million for the Boston Globe a few years ago, he won't lose any money even when the Globe finally goes tits up, and the liberals will still love the capitalist robber baron because he meant well. Suckers.

Big Papi Farewell Tour - The Shank Podcast

Boston Globies Alex Speier and Shank do a podcast about David Ortiz, including some of Shank's 'controversial' questions and interviews. It clocks in at 20 minutes.