Monday, July 13, 2015

Catching Up

I haven't been able to get to any of Shank's 'work' until now, but then again, you didn't miss much. Shank's as predictable as ever.

On Friday, the Red Sox lost to the Yankees. The next day, Shank buries the Sox:
The Red Sox are Fool’s Gold. The sooner we accept this fact, the easier it will be to tolerate another lost summer.

Friday night was not a good night for the Local Nine.

Fans arrived at Fenway full of hope and vigor. The season was saved; downright revitalized. The “surging” Red Sox were back in the pennant race in the American League East and there was legitimate belief the locals were on the cusp of making a serious midseason run toward respectability and possible contention.

And then it unraveled. In depressing and predictable fashion. Despicable-Him, A-Rod, hit a solo homer in the first and the Sox played ugly defense, Clay Buchholz got hurt (on schedule), and the first-place Yankees beat the Red Sox, 5-1, to keep the Red Sox in the cellar and push the Bostons 6½ games out of first place.
On Saturday, the Sox beat the Yankees, so Shank writes a trivial column instead of his general standard of mail-it-in uselessness, the picked-up pieces column:
Tuesday is the big night and we are breathless with anticipation. It’s the night we learn the identity of every big league baseball team’s “Franchise Four.” The nation is agog.

I love these contrived events and polls. It’s like the Mount Rushmore game. In Boston sports we have settled on Ted Williams, Bill Russell, Tom Brady, and Bobby Orr. And we believe no city can match our guys.

But who would you choose for the Red Sox? Who will it be when the Franchise Four of the 115-year-old Boston Red Sox is unveiled on Fox?
On Sunday, the Sox lost to the Yankees, so Shank rewrites Saturday's column:
The popular narrative holds that after 3½ months and 89 games we still don’t have a handle on these 2015 Red Sox.

Buyers or sellers? Contenders or pretenders? In or out? Up or down? Cardiac Kids or Annoying Millionaires Who Raise Your Blood Pressure?

Stop. I think we know now.

The Sox were spanked by the Yankees again Sunday. David Ortiz was sent home with a respiratory condition, Alex Rodriguez (.333, three homers, 10 RBIs vs. Sox this year) continued his Wrecking Ball Tour de Fenway, and the first-place Bronx Bombers sent the Sox into the All-Star break with an 8-6 loss.
Negative, trivial and repetitive - that's Shank in a nutshell.

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