Maybe You Should Move There

Here's Shank writing about the NBA Finals, jumping on the Cleveland bandwagon:

Go Cleveland. Go Cavaliers. Go LeBron.

It’s the only way to go.

The NBA Finals start Thursday, and unless you are a fan of the Golden State Warriors, or perhaps a fan of Steph Curry’s adorable 2-year-old daughter, you simply must root for the Cavs.

Sorry, I know many of you will find it hard to cheer for LeBron James. He’s a little full of himself, he has been a Celtics rival for many years, and he inspires a lot of irrational hatred for a guy who never really has done anything offensive other than stage an ill-conceived media event with Jim Gray.

'Ill-conceived' is Shank speak for 'convenient memory lapse':

“Despicable Me.’’

Starring LeBron James, ESPN, Jim Gray, and the Miami Heat.

All despicable.

It’s been more than 36 hours since “The Decision’’ and I’m still nauseous.

Truly, has there ever been a more hideous sports-related hour than what we saw Thursday night?

It’s hard to know where to start. We had MeBron speaking of himself in the third person and saying, “I’m going to take my talents to South Beach.’’ We had ESPN lying to us about at what point MeBron would announce his move, then morphing into game-show mode. We had Gray forever forfeiting all semblance of integrity, taunting America (particularly Clevelanders) by intentionally delaying the only question we wanted him to ask. And now we have the Miami Heat — a veritable team of A-Rods, the team we will root against in every game as long as LeBron, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh are together.

Despicable. All of them.

This column's his makeup call for trolling Cleveland a few months ago, nothing more.