Friday, September 13, 2013

At Least They're 2 - 0!

The Patriots beat the Jets, 13-10 last night. It wasn't a pretty game to watch.

You know the drill by now - when a local team's at its worst, Shank's at his best.
FOXBOROUGH — Dropped balls. Poorly run routes. Penalties. Reviews. Interminable commercial breaks. Eleven Patriot punts. The Patriots converting four of 18 third downs. Tom Brady’s worst game in at least four years. Frustration bubbling over.

It’s like Gisele says, Tom cannot throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. He looks like he’s reached his boiling point as Bob Kraft and Bill Belichick ask him to throw passes to Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch.

The Patriots staggered and sloshed to a 13-10 victory over the Jets Thursday night. It was virtually unwatchable professional football. In the words of my new favorite Twitter friend, it was like watching a start by Daisuke Matsuzaka. Brady completed only 19 of 39 passes for 185 yards. It was his first sub .500 percentage game since 2009.
OK, we won’t. But here’s a little hyperbole for you: The 2013 Patriots look like the worst 2-0 team in the history of football. “The Waltz of the Tomato Cans” is playing over the loudspeaker at Gillette. Again. The locals are artificially inflated by the incompetence of their division opponents. Again.

The 2013 home opener was primarily about Missing Persons. It was about the people who were not there more than it was about the people who were.

You know who.
We then get the modified Rick Pitino rant on who's not walking through that door, etc. Wonder if Shank tries to milk another column out of this game?

1 comment:

Monkeesfan said...

Natch, his Shankness offers nothing in the way of actual analysis - such as that the mistakes of the rookie receivers are correctable with more game reps or that injured receivers Danny Amendola and Rob Gronkowski appear to be coming back sooner instead of later; and Shank, did you notice the Broncos aren't throwing to Wes Welker that much (just 12 catches for Welker in two games, three dropped passes, and against the Ravens the first 21 Broncos points were scored where Welker had ONE catch)?

Nope, to offer some actual analysis is beneath Shank. The worst 2-0 team - once the growing pains are run through what will Shank say should the Patriots be battling for a playoff bye again? "I knew they'd do it" sounds about right for Shank.