Shiny Happy Papi

The man who Shank once called 'a sad sack of you-know-what' has signed a two year deal with the Red Sox.

His first Red Sox manager was Grady Little. He was here before “Fever Pitch” and the new version of “Tessie.’’ In his early days as a Red Sox pinch hitter, he warmed the bench alongside Lou Merloni.

David Ortiz goes back. Trupiano Way Back. He was in uniform with the Red Sox the night Aaron Boone broke New England’s heart and he was in the dugout when Robert Andino ended Boston’s 2011 season in Baltimore.

From there we're treated to a recap of Ortiz's career, comparisons to other Red Sox sluggers and one 'sons of Tito Francona' mention. In other words, another formulatic, paint by the numbers column.