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Monday, September 30, 2019

Great Early Gameday Calls, By Dan Shaughnessy



The game, of course, was close with a final score of Patriots 16, Bills 10.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Shank Pulls His Punches Again

Well, to the extent he can actually punch, I suppose...

The owners of the Boston Red Sox, avoiding any public discussion about the firing of then-general manager David Dombrowski, finally broke that spell late yesterday afternoon in a classic Friday evening news dump:
Sox owners finally field questions, but spare the clear answers

You say Tomato . . . I say (Tomato Cans? - ed) Bridge Year.

Almost three weeks after firing World Series winning GM Dave Dombrowski, Red Sox (and Globe) owner John Henry finally had a press conference at Fenway late Friday afternoon, before the start of the season-ending series against the moribund Baltimore Orioles.

I’d like to tell you that this session answered all of our questions about the firing of Dombro and the future of the team, but that would be an alternate reality. Accompanied by ubiquitous wingman Tom Werner and CEO Sam Kennedy, Henry (and Werner) responded to 26 minutes of inquiries, but it was a tad confusing and intentionally ambiguous. These guys rarely talk to us and, when they do, sometimes it feels like they are speaking a foreign language. It was an awkward, sometimes bizarre press conference.
Shank did have some questions, primary among them this one:
I asked if this meant the Red Sox are headed for the dreaded Bridge Year.
Three weeks ago, however, Shank didn't seem to have any questions at all about the firing:
Fair or unfair, this felt inevitable. I wrote last month that I would be shocked if Dombrowski was still GM next year and those words were greeted with stony silence on Jersey Street. No one came to the defense of a boss that had just won the World Series and had finished in first place in each of his first three full seasons.
Granted, three weeks between events allows for a few questions to develop but every time I see a journalist 'demanding answers' or 'they need to explain themselves', it's pretty obvious that most of the time they're looking for a groveling apology or something as servile. By the time the column's over, it's clear that Shank does not actually mention any unanswered questions, only his 'disappointment' over the three week delay between Dombrowski getting axed and this press conference. That's probably the best route to take when you're more or less questioning (or not) the guy who writes your paycheck every week.

Friday, September 27, 2019

A Heckling Opportunity Presents Itself

Guess who's coming to my hometown today?

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Looks Like Today Is National Goofy Haircut Day

Presented without comment, which doesn't mean you can't comment!

DHL Dan LXXXIX (?) - It's Shetland Pony Time Again, Part Deux

(The above Roman numeral indicating approximate times Shank got morally righteous in one of his columns - your mileage may vary!)

This has not been a decent run for the Boston Globe the past several days since Antonio Brown was released by the New England Patriots. After an initial attempt to criticize the team for bringing Brown on in the first place, Shank's little sister (aka Tara Shaughnessy Sullivan) tries the same lame trick.

Naturally, Shank doubles down on beating a dead horse and disguises it (not very well) as a semi-Picked Up Pieces-type column but injects a new twist - he's gonna criticize his boss as well, likely after being given the green light to do so:
We need answers from team ownership on a couple of matters
What do you mean 'we', kemosabe? And what kind of 'answers' do you seek, besides a groveling apology or two?
Some talking points regarding local sports ownership and accountability . . .
Yes, 'talking points' - a general set list of things to say and cutesy catchphrases that are first passed around to all 'journalists' in a manner reminiscent of the Journolist from the previous decade. Now they just do it via e-mail, once they got busted and exposed for their Borg-like hive mind mentality.
■ The Patriots and Bob Kraft have been in the news plenty over the past couple of weeks. Relatively speaking, it has allowed the Red Sox to skate free. Two weeks ago, the night the Red Sox fired their president of baseball operations, the Patriots were in the early hours of their Antonio Brown romance, raising a championship banner on the night they defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers in the season opener.

The firing of Dombrowski largely got lost in the subsequent two-week AB train wreck, but it’s worth discussing at this critical time in Sox franchise history. We can debate the strengths and weaknesses of Dombro forever; it won’t change the fact that he is gone. But we still have yet to hear a single word from team ownership.
...
I sent the Sox/Globe owner an e-mail requesting comment on this. Nothing yet. But he is a busy guy.
How convenient! Dan's pulling his punches with his boss - totally predictable. Now that this boilerplate critique of the Red Sox is behind him, let's introduce the headline act:
■ Now on to Kraft and Brown. Like the Red Sox on a GM, Patriot ownership has said nothing about Brown. Instead, we get planted suggestions from Friends of Bob. The first one came on game day in Miami when we read that “there’s no way Robert would have agreed to this if he knew about AB’s baggage.’’

Swell, but Kraft always had the ability to put a stop to the AB plan and willingly allowed Brown to play against the Dolphins.

It should be noted that Brown was no longer an employee of the Patriots when he went on his Twitter attack of Kraft.
Can we get back to the playing field now?
Does that shift of stance make any sense? Shank gets on his 'high horse' demanding answers right off the bat but by the end of the column, he just wants things to be over and 'get back to the playing field'. That would be easier to do without passive-aggressive columns like this one.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

It's Shetland Pony Time Again

Did you think the Patriots releasing Antonio Brown would go down without Shank firing a few rounds at them? Hell no!
Patriots get no points for releasing Antonio Brown

I’m wondering if Antonio Brown gets a Super Bowl ring at Bob Kraft’s house next year.

And I’m wondering if the fans who purchased Antonio Brown jerseys from the Patriot Pro Shop for $99.99 will get their money back.

Hope not. The grinning, dopey guy we featured on these pages Friday — hoisting his No. 17 Patriots jersey at Gillette Stadium — deserves a
financial hit for abject stupidity.

On Friday afternoon, when it became obvious that the Brown situation was only going to get worse, the Patriots finally, grudgingly caved and released the talented but toxic wideout.

In this instance, the Patriots failed to do anything when it mattered.
I could not disagree more. The moment 'when it mattered' was Brown's first act of assholishness (for lack of a better phrase) while a member of the Patriots. Brown was given a shot at redemption by the Patriots, and he screwed it up. Naturally, this is completely ignored by Shank, who uses the rest of the column to lambaste as many people in the Patriots organization as reasonably possible.

Life's real easy when your whole schtick is second guessing everybody and piling on.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Watch Shank Squirm

On his weekly borefest radio appearance on 98.5 The Sports Hub this morning, Shank wasn't allowed to sleepwalk and re-read his columns during the two hours he was on today:


Partial squirmage can be found here:

Links to the Shank segments can be found here (first hour and second hour).

I'm wondering how things will play out from here. I don't know if this is a one-off from Beetle or if he keeps the pressure on him next week.

Either way, I'm making a prediction - Shank's days on that program are numbered.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

He Who Sits In A Glass House

...should not throw stones:


Reader reaction was as expected:


Something tells me that Shank won't be fielding that last question.

I'm Here To Ruin Your Morning Coffee

Retweeted by Shank a few minutes ago; you have been warned...
Sometimes I get the impression that a columnist who once wrote 'I write for the fans' didn't really mean it.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Today's column has Shank waxing rhapsodically about Carl Yastrzemski's grandson.
In the old days, it would have been Sherm Feller, Fenway’s voice of God, making the majestic announcement from upstairs in the PA booth.

Now batting . . . Number 8, Carl Yastrzemski. Left field. Yastrzemski.

Tuesday night at Fenway Park, Henry Mahegan will do the honors when Giants outfielder Mike Yastrzemski (No. 5 in your program) steps into the same batter’s box where his grandfather, Carl, stood all those years ago.

“It will be the first time since 1983 that the name ‘Yastrzemski’ will be announced,’’ says Grandpa Yaz, now 80. “It’s definitely going to be emotional. To see him come into Fenway Park where I played for 23 years, to have his name announced, that will be a great thrill for me.’’\

It might just be the highlight of this sorry Red Sox season.
Isn't that a nice touch?

Saturday, September 14, 2019

It's Shetland Pony Time

My only surprise about Shank criticizing the New England Patriots over the Antonio Brown situation is that it's taken this long for him to respond:
Two days after killing Odin Lloyd, Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez looked into the eyes of Bob Kraft and lied.

“He said he was not involved,’’ Kraft testified in court in Fall River in 2015. “He said he was innocent.’’

Kraft later said that he was “duped’’ by Hernandez, who was eventually convicted of murder. Kraft told us he was duped when he gave Hernandez a $37 million contract extension. He was duped when Hernandez donated $50,000 to the Myra Kraft Giving Back Fund. He was duped when Hernandez said that the Patriot Way had changed his life.

Here we are again. It is not murder this time. It is a rape allegation. There is no criminal complaint. This is a “he-said-she-said” civil lawsuit filed against wide receiver Antonio Brown.
Of course this comes after other Globies are providing cover fire for Shank to do this relatively unnoticed.

Monday, September 09, 2019

Shank On Former Red Sox Boss Dave Dombrowski

Unable to rag on the New England Patriots after last night's 33-3 stomping of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Shank sets his sights on the former Sox president of baseball operations.
Dave Dombrowski is out as baseball boss of the Red Sox.

The news broke after midnight that Boston’s president of baseball operations had been fired.

Fair or unfair, this felt inevitable. I wrote last month that I would be shocked if Dombrowski was still GM next year and those words were greeted with stony silence on Jersey Street. No one came to the defense of a boss that had just won the World Series and had finished in first place in each of his first three full seasons.

Dombrowski did exactly what he was hired to do when the Sox brought him on board in the summer of 2015. He traded prospects for veteran talent. He signed big name free agents. He threw around contract extensions like fun-sized Halloween candies. He ignored draft and development. And he ignored a lot of the people who worked at Fenway Park.
To some extent, one of the ignored people also included Shank himself. Curious that this column seems to lay all the blame for this season's performance at his feet; nary a word about the players themselves. That part of it doesn't matter, as long as Shank has his fall guy.

Sunday, September 08, 2019

Shank's First Salvo At The 2019 New England Patriots

Shank, channeling Sigmund Freud, has the New England Patriots all figured out:
Why Bill Belichick and the Patriots fit our self-image

A sixth championship banner will be unveiled at Gillette Stadium Sunday night before the Patriots kick off their 2019 season against the Pittsburgh Steelers.
As ever, Patriot Nation is smug, arrogant, and oh so satisfied.
I am convinced that the 21st- century Patriots are New England’s favorite team not just because they win, but because they reinforce the local notion that Bostonians are smarter than everybody else.
Jump on the Antonio Brown train wreck? Of course:
How smart? Get a load of this, America. The Patriots just signed Antonio Brown, the best receiver in the NFL and an egomaniacal misfit who acted his way out of Pittsburgh and Oakland in the last six months. It’s going to be all good with Brown now. In Foxborough, he will become an Eagle Scout — Mr. Team Above Self. He will suddenly be a guy who is all about winning and nothing else, simply because he has chosen to be part of the Patriot Way.
Who knew Shank read books?
Blame it on Oliver Wendell Holmes if you must. The Harvard-educated poet and humorist (and father of the legendary Supreme Court justice) is credited with first referencing the State House as “The Hub of the Solar System’’ in the Atlantic Monthly, which begat Boston becoming “The Hub of the Universe.’’
Maybe someone cribbed that stuff for him? That's my bet.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019

DHL Dan LXXXVIII - The One Where Shank Complains About Nearly Everything

You know what the result is of Shank taking a mini-vacation towards the end of the summer? A picked-up pieces column, of course!

What is amazing about this particular 'effort'is that Shank manages to complain about damn near everything under the sun, including Major League Baseball, the Red Sox, TB12, other NFL franchises (sans 'Tomato Can' references), and sundry others. He's one miserable dude, but you knew that already.

Sunday, August 25, 2019

When Sports And Politics Collide, Bob Cousy Edition

Leave it to Shank to turn Bob Cousy's White House visit (where he received the Presidential Medal of Freedom) into a political editorial:
In the last few years, Cousy has urged everyone he knows to read Ta-Nehisi Coates’s “Between the World and Me,’’ which is a letter from the author to his teenage son about feelings and realities associated with being black in the United States.
This being the Boston Globe, there's an Elizabeth Warren ad right below that paragraph.

After graciously accepting his medal, Cousy stood at a podium in front of a portrait of Abraham Lincoln and delivered a five-minute speech. The Celtics legend thanked everyone profusely, including the Holy Cross Jesuits for installing his moral compass, then concluded his remarks with, “This is special because it is being presented by the most extraordinary president in my lifetime.”

The seemingly reverential remark infuriated some Cousy loyalists, including former Worcester Telegram columnist John Gearan, who fired off a mass e-mail, writing (in part), “My lifelong hero, Bob Cousy, has fallen from his pedestal and crashed into smithereens.”

Not so fast, everybody. The statement by Cousy was carefully crafted. Look up the word “extraordinary’’ in the dictionary. In my Google search, it comes up as “1. Very unusual or remarkable.’’

There you go. Would anyone disagree that President Trump is “very unusual”?

It was a perfectly gracious and ambiguous remark. Everybody heard what they wanted to hear.
Well, this guy's heard enough from Shank for the weekend.

Saturday, August 24, 2019

I'll Take 'Giant Stuffed Dolls' for $800, Alex

They seem like a happy bunch nowadays, which was certainly NOT the case when Clemens pitched for the Red Sox:

Here's when that all changed.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Preemptive Burial

With Red Sox pitcher Chris Sale now out of the starting lineup, Shank breaks out the backhoe on their season.
Chris Sale says he has been assured there is no tear in his elbow. No ligament damage. His elbow pain is merely inflammation. Everything will be reevaluated in four to six weeks.
So there’s no need for Tommy John surgery . . . at this time.


“We’ll get through this,’’ Sale said Tuesday afternoon in the Red Sox clubhouse. “It’s not the end of the world. Could be worse.

You say good news.

I say it’s potentially a disaster, having more to do with the future than the present.

The 2019 baseball season — a train wreck for Sale and the Red Sox — is over. There’s still north of 30 games to play and nothing’s official, but everyone knows there’s not going to be any postseason for the Red Sox and we are not going to see Sale in another game this year.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Some Things Never Change

1) Shank creating controversy where there was none before, 2) displaying mid-season Patriots trolling form and 3)…

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Looks Like I Didn't Miss Much Here

I just got out of the hospital after spending five days at Beth Israel Deaconess for a cardiovascular problem that's been largely resolved. My normal daily routine involves reading lots of blogs and websites and small amounts of TV for keeping up on news and current events. Instead I watched a lot of CNBC, Bloomberg Business, ESPN, the Travel Channel and Discovery Channel. The latter two channels were amusing in that if there's an episode on with strange unexplained natural phenomena like crop circles or some such, it was explained by 'could it be... ALIENS???'

By way of contrast, Dan Shaughnessy is quite predictable to the point of boredom and parody, hence the reasons this website's been around for fifteen years now. How predictable is he? Well, I'll let him tell it:
Keeping up with the times is a challenge for this ancient sportswriter

We are all young when we start in this business of writing about professional sports; younger than the players.

I remember being petrified and intimidated, trying to ask questions of grizzled vet Carl Yastrzemski when I was 21 years old in 1975.

Dave Cowens — only four years older than me — was already an NBA MVP by the time I got to his locker in 1976. He told me my inquiry was a “high school question.’’ He was right. I was nervous, nerdy, and not ready.

Now I go into those same rooms and most of the players are younger than my own children.

I turned 66 last month. This means I am three times older than Rafael Devers. Not a little bit older. Not twice as old. Three times as old. For every day Rafael Devers has been on this earth, I have been here three days.

But now I am three times older than Rafael Devers and I’m still here. (Don’t get your hopes up, this is not a retirement announcement.)
So much for the early Christmas present!

Actually, it's a pretty good column and that could be from a number of factors - he's not shitting on one of the local pro teams & players, and... well, maybe that's the only compelling factor. We see this 'old grizzled veteran sportswriter' type of column every couple of months, one of his half-dozen or so column templates.

Then again, his other column is right back to the business at hand - complaining about the Red Sox:
The Red Sox foolishly rested their starting pitchers in March and April in expectation that they would have more in the tank for October.

Now there is not going to be an October, so Alex Cora probably will be able to shut down Chris Sale and David Price in the final weeks of this lost season.

Sunday at Fenway was one of those maddening losses that so typifies this annoying Red Sox season. The S.S. Dombrowski extended its trip to nowhere and made it clear that there will be no games for this team in October.
In summary, what we don't have here is a case of plus ca change - it just stays the same, without ever changing, and that's Shank in a nutshell.