Drawn to Drew

Today's column on Stephen Drew's return is The CHB at his formulaic best (or is that worst?).

An attempt at a pithy lede that ends up as a non sequitur. A string of insults gleaned from a day spent listening to talk radio. A recap of the subject's history. And an attempt at stirring up a controversy where none exists -- or is even necessary.

Yep, classic Shank.

Mute Button Is On

It's not really a surprise that Shank waited until after Stephen Drew was signed by the Red Sox to offer up a milquetoast take on the Sox' recent performance:

So there. The free-falling Red Sox are not giving up on the season, after all. They are not going to commit consumer fraud by selling “championship-driven” when they are actually giving you a bridge year. They are not going to pretend they are smarter than everybody else, just because things went perfectly last season.

They are not going to be hard-headed. They are willing to admit a mistake.

The Xander Bogaerts-at-short/Will Middlebrooks-at-third experiment was officially dissolved Tuesday when the Red Sox re-signed Stephen Drew as their shortstop for the remainder of the 2014 season.

This is a good move, and I’m not just saying that because John Henry (a.k.a. “greatest person ever”) owns the Boston Globe. (ha, that's a good one! - ed.) It’s a good move because it makes the Sox better for the rest of this season. It’s an indication that — despite the dreadful start to this title defense — the Sox know the American League East is up for grabs and they are still going for it this year.

Compare and contrast this tone to that of one of his columns from two years ago.

Now You See Him...

The CHB goes almost all positive in this post-game (yikes!) TV spot.

Two exceptions: He basically says if the Red Sox don't win Game 6, they are toast. And he belittles Stephen Drew, saying "don't pitch to him like he's Ortiz."

David Ortiz vs. the Tigers: AB 19 H 2 BA .105 K 4 BB 2.

And what is going on with Shank's face? Yo, Dan, Don Zimmer wants his Gerbil eyes back.

All Drewn Up

How long until The CHB makes snide and unfounded comparisons between Stephen Drew and his brother (and ex Red Sox RF) J.D.?

Our guess is, the bitterness rises even before the ink is dry on a Sox contract with Drew the Younger.

Shank will probably even compare him to Eddie Bird.