Churning Out A Win

Shank surprises us with multiple columns in a one week period:

No electricity in this defensive slugfest, but Patriots get it done to beat Chargers

FOXBOROUGH — This was old-school, leather helmet stuff. T formations and flying wedges. No style points. No artistry. It was the Waltz of Sub-Zero refrigerators, nothing like the thrills and grid artistry that electrified fans across America at playoff games in Charlotte, Chicago, Jacksonville, and Philadelphia.

But Patriots fans waited six years for this moment and there were no complaints at the end of Sunday night’s 16-3 victory over the Los Angeles Chargers at Gillette Stadium.

The first three quarters were not easy on the eyes as the Pats and Chargers bored Football America with punts, fumbles, and stalled drives. It wouldn’t have surprised me if fans across the country petitioned the NFL to kick them out of the playoffs altogether and bring back the Jags or Packers. Such was the state of this defensive slugfest.

Predictibility - II

In his second consecutive column in as many days, Shank gets around to writing about the actual football game between the Patriots and the Chargers.

SAN DIEGO — Welcome to Gillette West. Where everybody knows your name — especially if your name is Belichick, Brady, Gronkowski, Edelman, or Kraft.

Boston accents and attitude invaded San Diego over the weekend. From Herbert Hoover High (home of Ted Williams) to Helix High (home of Bill Walton); from Petco Park to Qualcomm Stadium; from the San Diego Zoo to San Diego State, it was wall-to-wall New England. And since the Patriots were made to feel at home, they played like they were at home . . . they won a game they needed to win.

In front of 68,815, which included tens of thousands of Boston transplants and road-trippers, the Patriots beat the San Diego Chargers, 23-14, Sunday night.

Cheesy sitcom lines, Red Sox references, etc. - all the telltale signs of another paint by numbers column by the Boston Globe's sole 'full-time' sports columnist are only a click away...

Predictability

...is that quality you get whenever Shank goes to another city to write about an upcoming game with a team from Boston going up against their team. Today it's the New England Patriots and the San Diego Chargers. Anybody familiar with Shank's typical coverage won't be surprised to see the template employed with today's column:

SAN DIEGO — This is the town that gave Boston Ted Williams, Bill Walton, and (gulp) Adrian Gonzalez. This is where Dr. Charles Steinberg put young Theo Epstein to work handing out press notes. It’s where Tom Werner ran the Padres into the ground and where Petco Park stands as The House That Larry Lucchino Built. It’s where Brandon Browner and Shane Vereen went to high school and it’s where the late Junior Seau made his bones as an NFL superstar.

It’s where the Patriots play the Chargers Sunday in a prime-time game that could dramatically impact seedings for the 2014-15 AFC playoffs.

Original members of the upstart American Football League, the Bolts were the Los Angeles Chargers and the Patriots were the Boston Patriots when they first met in the Los Angeles Coliseum while Dwight Eisenhower was still working in the Oval Office on Oct. 8, 1960.

Since that date, the Patriots and Chargers have played one another at Nickerson Field, Balboa Stadium, Fenway Park, Boston College’s Alumni Stadium, Harvard Stadium, Schaefer Stadium (also known as Foxboro Stadium and Sullivan Stadium), Gillette Stadium, and Qualcomm Stadium, which has also been known as Jack Murphy Stadium and San Diego Stadium.

There's half the column right there. His 'formula' consists of going to a city, mention famous people from that city, drop a few Red Sox references, mention the places they've played the games and mention the big games between the two clubs. That's it. It's the same formula he's been using in these types of columns ever since he's been at the Boston Globe. He's not even clever enough to work in a Dan Fouts reference, but there's always tomorrow's column!