Off By Six Days

You just knew Shank was going to say something about UK basketball, didn't you?

I guess it's okay when Duke basketball players leave early for the NBA...

New Column Fodder

Now that the University of Kentucky has lost in the Final Four and thus deprived of their quest of a perfect season, do we have even money on the odds of a Shank column taking his last shit on coach John Calipari for the calendar year?

Grinding The Ax

The Kentucky Wildcats won their first two games of this year's NCAA tournament. As sure as the sun rising every day, you can count on Shank to take another shit on coach John Calipari.

Kentucky wins. Again and again.

I love this story. I love to poke fun at coach John Calipari, Kentucky superfan Ashley Judd, and citizens of BBN (Big Blue Nation, didn’t you know?).

No you don't - you just like taking steaming dumps on Calipari. You have yet to say a word either way about Ashley Judd, and anything you say about Big Blue Nation is simply cover fire for taking shots at the coach.

I love the idea that we have a team in the NCAA Tournament that is 36-0, with a maximum of four games remaining. If the Wildcats run the table they will be the eighth NCAA men’s team to finish undefeated, and the first in 39 years. No team has ever finished 40-0.

From there it's a long, drawn out discussion of perfect NCAA teams, Shank noting that Calipari's suit was 'right out of "Goodfellas"', and that there "may be more NCAA Tournament vacancies in Calipari’s future". No shot too cheap for this columnist.

Low Hanging Fruit

The more wins John Calipari racks up with the Kentucky Wildcats, the more chances Shank gets to take a dump on the guy, this being the second one of the year:

Here we are. Kentucky, the No. 1-ranked team in the country — coached by John Calipari — is on the cusp of NCAA history, 31-0 after Saturday’s win over Florida. Meanwhile, the folks at UMass have decided to retire Coach Cal’s “number,” and this weekend marks the 20th anniversary of him refusing to allow a Globe reporter to visit his home for Selection Sunday (nope, no animosity here! - ed).

Sometimes there is not enough space in our newspaper to articulate all the thoughts, and state all the points, that need to be made.

Let’s start with this: John Calipari is a magnetic figure, undoubtedly the greatest college basketball recruiter of the 21st century. He works the NCAA’s cesspool system better than any man alive. He is charismatic. He came to Amherst more than a quarter of a century ago as a Rick Pitino wannabe, but now he has vaulted over Pitino, and created the Brand of Cal. He is probably going to win a second national championship with Kentucky this year and is no doubt a swell dancer and would make for a fine dinner companion.

But as a Massachusetts taxpayer, I have a problem with UMass “retiring” Coach Cal’s number.

The only time Shank pretends to give a rat's ass about sports at UMass is when he can use it to take shots at John Calipari. That said, there's little to debate with respect to Calipari's tenure at both UMass and Memphis, where he and / or the team were hit with NCAA sanctions both times. He's not exactly Coach K in the ethics department.

What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

In much the same manner, if Shank disliked Calipari in 1995, this snub of a fellow Boston Globe reporter pretty much sealed the deal from that point until now.