Opening Spray

The CHB lays out his road map for how he plans to attack the Red Sox this season.

The early targets:

• A.J. Pierzynski, "a 37-year-old catcher who has been voted “most hated player in baseball.' 
• The pitching staff: "The Red Sox have too much damn for this season. ... [F]ive established starters and more big league-ready Triple A pitchers than any team in the history of the game." 
• John Henry, "a funny Tweeter and probably the best owner in the game." 
• Team management, "extend[ing] contracts even when the players have no leverage." 

and of course,

• David Ortiz, who is being paid "$48 million to make sure he’s still in the fold when he’s 42.

So here we go folks: Shank is all warmed up and in regular season bitching shape. Play ball!

Birds Of A Feather

Shank dedicates today's column to fellow asshole A.J. Pierzynski.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — A.J. Pierzynski. The Most Hated Player In Baseball.

I couldn’t wait to talk to this guy.

We're not really surprised by this revelation, are we?

According to a 2012 Men’s Journal poll, Pierzynski is the Most Hated Player in Baseball.

“I just laugh at it,’’ he said. “I think it’s cool. I’ve won it a bunch of years in a row. They just change the title around. They change a couple of words.’’

True. In various other polls, Pierzynski has been cited as “Player You Would Most Like To See Beaned” and “Meanest Player’’ in baseball.

“I think I’ve won it before so it’s just an easy answer,’’ he added. “But I think A-Rod took over for me this year.’’

Is there a trophy that comes with the coveted “most hated” distinction — something that gets passed along from year to year like the Stanley Cup?

“No,’’ said Pierzynski. “You just get awkward questions by media people every day.’’

As an aside, Shank's better columns tend to be the ones when he gets to focus on the overwhelming negative aspects of a team, player or situation. It's pretty obvious what his motivation is with this column.