Losing By Winning

If it weren't for the fact there's always a losing team, Shank would have nothing to write about.

One of the best comments ever at Dan Shaughnessy Watch, and the theme of Shank's second column from Sunday:

Patriots lose big (No. 1 NFL Draft pick), even in victory

Say it loud and say it proud. Print bumper stickers and T-shirts.

The 2024 Jerod Mayo Patriots: Even when they win, they lose.

Through the decades, we’ve seen some unforgettable teams here in Greater Boston.

The 1967 Red Sox were the “Cardiac Kids,” who forged “The Impossible Dream.” Our Causeway Street skaters of the 1970s were the Big Bad Bruins, who later ceded to “The Lunchpail A.C.” We had the “Cowboy Up” Red Sox of 2003, and the Curse-bustin “Why Not Us?” Sox of ‘04. Kevin Garnett led the “Ubuntu” Celtics to the NBA Championship in 2008.

Now we have the ‘24 Patriots who gave us a 17-game clown show festooned with turnovers, pre-snap penalties, and embarrassing losses from September though the holidays. Going into Sunday’s season finale, their 3-13 record put them in dandy position for the No. 1 pick in the entire NFL draft. All they had to do to secure the top spot was lose to a 13-3, playoff-bound Buffalo Bills team.

DHL Dan CCXXXV - The Axe Falleth?

Just an hour before Patriots head coach Jerod Mayo became former Patriots head coach Jerod Mayo, Shank was thinking ownership will do nothing:

The Patriots need to do right by their fans and fire Jerod Mayo, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Route 1 will be easy to navigate Sunday . . .

▪ Welcome to the Stupor Bowl. Sunday in Foxborough we get the 13-3 Buffalo Bills, a playoff-bound team with absolutely nothing to gain against a 3-13 Patriots team that has much to lose by winning.

Ugh. Wake me when it’s over.

When this finale mercifully concludes, Bob and Jonathan Kraft — visible this season only when network pals featured them rattling jewelry from a cozy midfield suite — need to do right by fans and fix their mess of a football team.

Regrettably, I can pretty much guess how this is going to go: Bob will send out his now-annual letter of apology, telling fans they deserve better and promising a better product. The Krafts will feebly fire a coordinator or two, Bob will reluctantly take a few questions, and announce that Jonathan is busy elsewhere at a very important corrugated cardboard meeting.

I'm getting the feeling Shank doesn't like the Kraft family a whole lot...

Time To Catch Up?

Sorry, folks - took a bit of a break from Shank, as we all need to do from time to time...

Let's start from a few weeks ago, when Shank correctly pointts out the half-assed effort by the Red Sox to go after free agents again this offseason:

Red Sox have struck out on big-name talent, but they rule one aspect of free agency: They’re kings of interest

Last winter, Red Sox chairman Tom Werner gave us a punchline for the ages when he pledged that the Sox would go “full throttle” after their last-place finish of 2023.

We all know how that worked out. The Sox were a virtual Paul Cézanne still life in the winter of 2023-24, unless you want to count trading 2024 Cy Young winner Chris Sale to the Braves for a bin of rosin bags, and signing Lucas Giolito, who got hurt in Fort Myers and didn’t throw a pitch all season.

This winter is different. Sort of.

The Sox have indeed added some name players (Aroldis Chapman, Walker Buehler, Garrett Crochet), but they’re still tire-kickers on the free agent market, ever MLB’s “Kings of Interest,” and no longer serious players for big-name talents seeking multiyear deals.

DHL Dan CCXXXIV - On The Hot Seat?

There's a great deal of speculation about the future for first year head coach Jerod Mayo. Even with a current 3 - 13 record, Shank thinks he'll stick around because of Bob Kraft:

Bob Kraft is stubborn, so it’s doubtful that he fires Jerod Mayo after this dismal season, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while roasting chestnuts and listening to Mitch Miller carols . . .

▪ Any chance Bob Kraft fires Jerod Mayo at the end of this terrible season? Doubt it.

Kraft is stubborn and unlikely to admit he acted hastily and erred hiring Mayo one day after firing Bill Belichick in January.

We all know Mayo inherited a terrible roster. This sorry season has been torpedoed by poor drafts, second-tier assistant coaches, and the team’s failure to spend.

Every coach deserves more than a one-year tryout, right? Bill Parcells wasn’t let go when his first Patriots team started 1-11. Belichick was retained after going 5-11. Both got plenty of slack.

Bring Back Rod Rust?

With the New England Patriots losing on Sunday, it brings back some bad memories for Shank:

Jerod Mayo’s powerless, flat Patriots channeling every bit of the bad old days

GLENDALE, Ariz. — These are games we mocked not so long ago: A 3-10 team against a 6-7 team in mid-December. A couple of Tomato Cans duking it out in a quiet stadium while Football America was riveted to Bills at Lions (48-42, Buffalo) on CBS.

If you were home in New England, forced to watch Patriots-Cardinals ahead of the true Game of the Week, too bad. Instead of a possible prelude to this year’s Super Bowl, you were hostage to the Dumpster Fire In The Desert. It was just like the bad old days of 20th century Patriot-watching.

Under the robin’s egg blue skies of State Farm Stadium’s open roof, the Cardinals pantsed the moribund Patriots, 30-17, Sunday. Jerod Mayo’s 11 dropped to 3-11, clearing the way for 3-14 and another top three pick in this spring’s draft.

New England showed little sign of life, and Bob and Jonathan Kraft looked pretty unhappy in their midfield thrones. Maybe deciding to hire Mayo five years ago because he demonstrated good manners on a trip to Israel wasn’t such a great idea.

When local teams are at their worst, Shank's writing comes alive. Funny how that works...

DHL Dan CCXXXIII - Innocent Until Proven Guilty?

That's Shank's somewhat disingenuous statement on certain professional athletes accused of domestic violence:

When employing those accused of domestic violence, teams weigh quest to win against damage to brand, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting for more Red Sox news to come out of the Winter Meetings . . .

▪ Aroldis Chapman. Milan Lucic. Jabrill Peppers.

All three are Boston athletes on teams that have not enjoyed a lot of success lately; all were accused of violence against women; none were convicted (Peppers doesn’t go to trial until January); all of them raise questions about the responsibilities professional sports teams face when allegations of domestic violence collide with a team’s quest to win and the experience of its fans.

Every case is different. Like the rest of us, millionaire professional athletes are presumed innocent until proven guilty. But teams hiring baggage-laden players are ever measuring fairness and the quest to win against potential damage to the team’s brand. It’s a high-wire act filled with mixed messaging.

Unlike the rest of us, our names and faces aren't splashed across the sports pages in print and on the Internet, which tends to cause the ' potential damage to the team’s brand'. To me, that's the disingenuous part.

Playoffs?

That's Shank's tone after watching the Boston Celtics so far this year:

Can we get to the playoffs already? This year’s Celtics might be even better than last year’s.

The defending world champion Celtics have played only one quarter of their regular-season schedule. We still have four weeks left in 2024.

I have only one question: When do the playoffs start?

Sorry. I know the NBA regular season is a marathon, not a sprint. I know there are critical games left in the quest for the coveted NBA Cup; the idle Celtics were eliminated Tuesday night. I know we are supposed to take a deep breath, hope everyone stays healthy, and monitor the NBA readiness of Neemias Queta and Drew Peterson.

Not me. I watch the 2024-25 Celtics when I think they might be in for a close game or playing a team that could be a speed bump in the quest for Banner No. 19.

Also, to ponder their place among the greatest Celtics teams of all time.

DHL Dan CCXXXII - Hitting The Century Mark

As the Boston Bruins turn 100 today (Happy Birthday, Bruins!), Shank writes one of his three yearly hockey columns to commemorate the event:

There is so much to remember in 100 years of Bruins hockey, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while refusing to take the cheese on the Juan Soto nonsense …

▪ The Bruins turn 100 Sunday and plan a centennial birthday party before their 3 p.m. game at the Garden against the Montreal Canadiens.

Nice symmetry there. The Montreal Maroons were the Bruins’ opponents for their first game ever — a 2-1 win at Boston Arena Dec. 1, 1924.

The Zamboni of those days was a horse-drawn, plow-like scraper followed by a team of broom-toting sweepers (no jokes about slow horses playing for the 2024 Bruins).

As much as anything, Sunday’s celebration will be a salute to the Hub’s hockey culture, and the grip the Bruins have had on this region for as long as Jimmy Carter has been alive.

DHL Dan CCXXXI - The Juan Soto Pursuit

Shank doesn't think much of the Red Sox going after free agent Juan Soto:

Red Sox deserve no benefit of the doubt with their Juan Soto pursuit, and other thoughts

Picked up pieces while prepping to watch the Super Bowl-bound Lions on Thanksgiving …

▪ The Red Sox sent a contingent to Orange County last week to meet with outfielder Juan Soto and his agent, Scott Boras. The Sox were represented by Sam Kennedy, Tom Werner, Alex Cora, and Craig Breslow. It’s been reported that the meeting went well, but that no offer was made. Other teams courting Soto include the Yankees, Mets, Dodgers, Phillies, and Blue Jays.

Boston’s toe in the water has seamhead dreamers and innocents convinced that the Red Sox actually have a chance.

Not this typist.

When pigs can fly and cows jump over the moon . . . when hell freezes over . . . when an NBA guard gets called for “palming” . . . when Larry Bird picks up a check . . . when California tumbles into the sea . . .

OK, the Larry Bird quip was funny!

No, You're The Soft One!

Now that the 2024 New England Patriots are firmly below .500 for the season, Shank the Knife returns to his Patriots bashing form:

Jerod Mayo once called his Patriots soft, but he is coaching in a similar fashion

Butch Hobson. Dave Lewis. Rod Rust. M.L. Carr.

Soft team?

How about “soft coaching”?

Patriots rookie sideline boss Jerod Mayo made headlines last month when he termed his team “soft” after a 32-16 loss, its sixth consecutive defeat, against Jacksonville in London.

Highly insulting. There’s not much worse you can say about an NFL player or team. “Soft” is a highly charged word in professional sports, especially football. It’s like telling a Fox News host that he or she is “woke.”

Inspired by the insult and the play of rookie quarterback Drake Maye, the rebuilding Patriots won two of their next three games. They might have won three in a row but were restrained by their hesitant head coach in Tennessee when he ordered a point-after kick after the Patriots cut the Titans’ lead to a single point at the end of regulation.

It's a bit early with the Rod Rust / M.L. Carr comparisons, isn't it? And Shank's then beamoning other people on 'insulting' remarks?