No, You're The Soft One!

Now that the 2024 New England Patriots are firmly below .500 for the season, Shank the Knife returns to his Patriots bashing form:

Jerod Mayo once called his Patriots soft, but he is coaching in a similar fashion

Butch Hobson. Dave Lewis. Rod Rust. M.L. Carr.

Soft team?

How about “soft coaching”?

Patriots rookie sideline boss Jerod Mayo made headlines last month when he termed his team “soft” after a 32-16 loss, its sixth consecutive defeat, against Jacksonville in London.

Highly insulting. There’s not much worse you can say about an NFL player or team. “Soft” is a highly charged word in professional sports, especially football. It’s like telling a Fox News host that he or she is “woke.”

Inspired by the insult and the play of rookie quarterback Drake Maye, the rebuilding Patriots won two of their next three games. They might have won three in a row but were restrained by their hesitant head coach in Tennessee when he ordered a point-after kick after the Patriots cut the Titans’ lead to a single point at the end of regulation.

It's a bit early with the Rod Rust / M.L. Carr comparisons, isn't it? And Shank's then beamoning other people on 'insulting' remarks?

DHL Dan CCXXX - Grogan's Heroes

Shank takes a look back at the last New England Patriots quarterback who ran a lot:

Steve Grogan can tell Drake Maye all about a scrambling quarterback, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while laughing at reports that the Red Sox “have interest” in Juan Soto . . .

▪ Before Tom Brady was born, Steve Grogan was the Patriots’ franchise quarterback. And he ran with the football. A lot.

Tough guy Grogan gave the Patriots 16 hard-nosed seasons, running amok, throwing his body on the line, and living to play another week. When he retired in 1991, Grogan was the Patriots’ all-time passing leader, and his 35 rushing touchdowns still rank fourth in team history.

Like Drake Maye, Grogan was not a fan of giving himself up at the end of a run. There was no “slide rule” to protect quarterbacks in the first decade of Grogan’s career, and when the rule was introduced in 1985, Grogan didn’t like it.

“I only slid once in my career,” Grogan said from his Missouri home this past week. “It was in Pittsburgh. I got hit under the chin and got a concussion and woke up in the shower. I don’t think they even threw a flag on that play. That was the last time I slid.

I think Grogan could've played a few more years with the new rules. I remember he used to get the crap kicked out of him every other scrambling run. Here's hoping Drake Maye's a bit more judicious with his running and sliding.

DHL Dan CCXXIX - Riding The Pine

The Bruins' David Pastrnak got benched earlier in the week, and Shank recalls another Bruins benching:

David Pastrnak’s benching recalls an earlier event that didn’t sit well with Cam Neely, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while calmly reciting Lou Gorman’s mantra: “The sun will rise, the sun will set, and I’ll have lunch” …

▪ Bruins coach Jim Montgomery benched his best player, David Pastrnak, for the third period of a win over the Kraken at the Garden last weekend.

And it was no big deal. After taking responsibility for a bad turnover in the game, Pasta said, “I don’t want to be any distraction to our team,” then two days later led all Bruins forwards with 22:18 of ice time in Toronto.

I don’t remember Manny Ramirez, Tom Brady, or Larry Bird getting benched very often. It’s a hockey thing. And it’s usually not a big deal.

Except for once around here when it was.

In January of 1996, 34-year-old rookie Bruins coach Steve Kasper sat Cam Neely and Kevin Stevens for a game in Toronto that ended in a 4-4 tie. Neely, a nine-year Bruins veteran and alternate captain who was playing in the final year of his career, did not take it well, and neither did Bruins fans.

The Real Deal?

That's what Shank's wondering after last week's New England Patriots loss to the Tennessee Titans:

Love or hate the Drake, you will always remember Maye’s Music City Miracle — and he looks like the real deal

NASHVILLE — Drake Maye did it all Sunday in Tennessee.

All except for the winning part.

One week after being sidelined by a concussion in the first quarter against the Jets, New England’s new franchise quarterback made his fourth career start and did a lot of everything.

With little concern for his personal safety, Maye ran the ball eight times for 95 yards, eschewing the safety slide on most occasions and coming within 5 yards of being the first Patriot quarterback in 48 years to rush for 100 (Steve Grogan, 1976).

Love the Drake!

He completed 29 of 41 passes for 206 yards and orchestrated two second-half touchdown drives.

Love the Drake!

He fumbled twice (losing one) and was intercepted twice.

Hate the Drake!

DHL Dan CCXXVIII - Spooky Thoughts

Speaking of mailing it in, I skipped three of Shank's columns from ealier in the week, so we can get right to a sequel to Shank's infamous book, The Curse of The Bambino:

These Mookie Betts/Babe Ruth parallels with the Red Sox are getting spooky, and other thoughts

NEW YORK — Picked-up pieces while concluding that the Mets, Phillies, and Padres also would have beaten the Yankees . . .

▪ The Dodgers won the World Series Wednesday, and it was Mookie Betts driving in the winning run. Mookie has won two World Series since the Red Sox dealt him for Jeter Downs (released after 14 games), Connor Wong, and Alex Verdugo (traded to the Yankees).

This really is starting to feel like Babe Ruth Redux. Exactly 100 years later.

The Babe came to the Red Sox in 1914, Mookie in 2014.

The Babe won a World Series with the Sox in 1918, Mookie in 2018.

The Babe was sold to the Yankees after the 1919 season because Red Sox ownership needed cash. Mookie was traded to the Dodgers after the 2019 season because the Red Sox wouldn’t pay what the Dodgers were willing to pay him.

On The Ropes Already?

The Los Angeles Dodgers jumped out to a 2 - 0 lead in the 2024 World series last night, and Shank's wondering if it may be over already:

Despite Shohei Ohtani injury, Freddie Freeman and the Dodgers have the Bronx in a panic

LOS ANGELES — Dodgers two. Yankees zero.

The Bronx is down. And the Los Angeles battery is up.

Japanese rookie Yoshinobu Yamamoto stuffed the high-powered Yankees on one hit over 6⅓ innings and the Dodgers won their second straight Saturday, beating the Yanks, 4-2, to take a 2-0 lead over New York in a 2024 World Series that’s already supplied a ton of memorable moments.

The only drawback for LA was the sight of latter-day Babe Ruth, Shohei Ohtani, writhing on the dirt around second base after he was caught stealing in the seventh. The Franchise sustained a partial dislocation of his left shoulder while sliding feet-first into the bag and no one knows much about his availability for the rest of this Series.

“I hope he’s OK,” Dodger hero Freddie Freeman — two homers in two games — told the MLB Network. “I haven’t heard anything. But when you’re in pain, holding your arm, it’s probably not a good thing.”

The Kevin Bacon Comparison

Taking an interest in this year's World Series, Shank does the Kevin Bacon thing with the two managers:

Sox degrees of skipper separation: Yankees’ Aaron Boone and Dodgers’ Dave Roberts meet in the World Series

LOS ANGELES — The sports world is agog over this 2024 World Series. We have Yankees-Dodgers for a record 12th time (Yankees lead, 8-3) and all the major cliches — East Coast-West Coast, Larry-Magic, Sinatra-Billie Eilish — have been tossed around. Folks at Fox are happy and there’s no doubt this series will get more attention than the vaunted Diamondbacks-Rangers joust of 2023.

But as ever, it’s all about us and in this spirit we are here to talk about the managerial matchup of New York’s Aaron Boone vs. LA’s Dave Roberts.

Neither Boone nor Roberts ever played in a World Series for the Red Sox (Roberts was on the ‘04 roster, but never got off the bench in the Fall Classic) but both had enormous impact on the Yankee-Red Sox rivalry when it peaked in 2003 and 2004.

DHL Dan CCXXVII - The World Series Column

For Shank, the Yankees / Dodgers World Series is steeped in history:

Dodgers-Yankees is a World Series guaranteed to take us back, and other thoughts

LOS ANGELES — Picked-up pieces while worrying that Jerod Mayo is our new Butch Hobson …

▪ Dodgers-Yankees. Star Wars. Big Bucks. The Blue Ribbon World Series. Swimming pools. Movie stars. Life in the fast lane meets the city that doesn’t sleep. It’s the dream matchup for Fox.

We all know the World Series isn’t what it used to be when time stood still in early October and kids raced home from school to watch day baseball on black-and-white televisions.

But Dodgers-Yankees is as good as it’s going to get in a 21st century that’s seen MLB fall far behind almighty football.

The Dodgers won a thriller Game 1 Friday, 6-3, when Freddie Freeman hit the first walkoff grand slam in World Series history in the bottom of the 10th inning.

“One of the best baseball games I’ve ever been part of,” said Dodgers star Mookie Betts.

Banner Night II

Shank covers the first home gane for the 2024 - 2025 Boston Celtics:

From Bob Cousy to Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum, Celtics history is second to none

Born in 1946, winners of multiple championships in every decade from the 1950s through the 1980s, the Boston Celtics and their extra large family gathered on Causeway Street to raise the franchise’s 18th championship banner Tuesday night before opening their season on the parquet floor with a 132-109 massacre of the New York Knicks.

It was a night to honor Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, and the other Celtic champs who shredded the NBA in a 16-3 playoff run that concluded just four months ago.

Tatum (37 points in 30 minutes, and he was 8 of 11 on 3-pointers) and Brown (23 points, 5 of 9 on threes) picked up where they left off as the Celtics hit a record-tying 29 from long range against the punch-drunk Knicks.

“I can honestly say, you’re the best fans in the world and let’s do it again,” Tatum told the crowd before the 2024 NBA champs took turns pulling on ropes to raise the banner.

DHL Dan CCXXVI - Banner Night

In this week's installment if the Picked Up Pieces column, Shank takes a look at the 2024 - 2025 Boston Celtics:

As Banner Night approaches, the Celtics look stacked, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while hoping we somehow wind up with Mac Jones vs. Drake Maye for Sunday breakfast . . .

▪ Tuesday night in the Causeway Street Gym, we’ll interrupt our regularly scheduled programming/nonstop kvetching about the Patriots, Red Sox, and Bruins in order to bring you . . . Banner Night!

That’s right, boys and girls. Banner Night, just like the earlier part of this century when Boston was king of the sports universe, awash in confetti, pumping the duck boat tires every other year for a pomp-fueled promenade down Boylston Street’s Canyon of Heroes.

Your Boston Celtics will be raising their 18th championship flag to the Garden rafters at 7 p.m. Tuesday, moments before their Opening Night joust with the new-and-improved New York Knickerbockers.

Everybody who’s anybody will be there, including all key members of the 2023-24 NBA champs who bludgeoned the league last season, winning 80 of 101 games, including a 16-3 playoff run.

It Was 20 Years Ago Today

Well, using Beatles lyrics is a Shank staple, isn't it?

20 years later, the Red Sox’ 2004 World Series win remains New England’s greatest sports story

It was biblical. It always will be New England’s greatest sports story. And 20 subsequent seasons have done nothing to diminish the magnitude of the moment.

My favorite photo of the 2004 Red Sox championship euphoria is one of a still-anonymous young man wearing a Red Sox jersey wading into the Charles River, arms raised in utter exultation. It was shot by the Globe’s Stan Grossfeld while he was riding in a duck boat three days after the World Series was won in St. Louis.

Grossfeld stood next to a surprisingly nervous David Ortiz as the Sox’ flotilla motored west on the Charles. Big Papi wore a tiny life preserver around his thick neck, telling Grossfeld, “I can’t swim and we got too many people on this boat!”

Time To Tune In

Last week the New England Patriots announced Drake Maye as the starting quarterback. Shank's happy that he can now tune into these games:

Thanks to Drake Maye, there’s finally a reason to watch these Patriots

We have seen Patriots Future and its name is Drake Maye.

Fifty years ago, The Real Paper’s Jon Landau famously wrote something like this about Bruce Springsteen and the future of rock and roll.

So let’s give it a shot now. Barring injury to Maye, or other unforeseen catastrophe, those of you who filled rainy, raw Gillette Sunday are going to be able to say you were there for the beginning of the next Patriots playoff run.

We are natural-born cynics here in New England. We have standards. We are not yahoos.

So why does a 41-21 home-field beatdown at the hands of the Houston Texans feel so good? (Yikes, who gave Rochie my laptop?)

Seriously, folks. The last-place Patriots are 1-5. They are 7-23 since November 2022. They have lost eight consecutive games at Gillette. Bob Kraft is needier than ever (CBS, please stop with shots of the owner high-fiving after TDs!) and there is little to indicate that rookie head coach Jerod Mayo or retread offensive coordinator Alex Van Pelt know what they are doing.

Well, having a chance to take shots at Bob Kraft's another reason for Shank to tune in...

DHL Dan CCXXV - Welcome Back, Terry

Since Shank chose to criticize professional athletes' salaries, turnabout is fair play. The man who co-wrote a book with the main subject of this column and thus has a commercial interest in promoting the return of said subject so he can sell some more books, does just that with his latest column:

Catching up with Terry Francona on his return to baseball, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while saying a prayer for Drake Maye . . .

▪ Old friend Terry Francona is back in baseball, accepting an offer to manage the Cincinnati Reds for the next three seasons. He’ll be back in the third base dugout at Fenway Park next June 30 for a three-game series against the Red Sox.

We all thought he was done for good last October when he stepped down after 11 seasons managing the Indians/Guardians.

“I don’t have the energy to do the job the way I want to do it,” he said then. “Rather than hang around for the wrong reasons, I’d rather just go out on my own terms . . . It’s not like I came to this decision overnight.”

What changed?

Royalty checks, of course!

The Big, Bad Bruins

Did I say 'The Big, Bad Bruins'? What I meant was a Bad Bruins column by Shank:

Bruins are back home, and so are Cup hopes for yet another season

Can someone tell me what that headline's supposed to mean?

The 2024 Red Sox and Patriots are bad teams, as they often were in the old days.

The ‘24 Celtics are defending NBA champs, as they often were in the old days.

And the Boston Bruins are once again what they have been for most of this century. They are better than the average Bears . . . good, but not great. They will be in the playoff hunt. And if they enjoy a good run in the spring, they have an outside chance to contend for the Stanley Cup.

They'll contend... by bowing out in the first round, like they've doing often in recent years.

This is pretty much the way it’s been since Bobby Orr last skated on Causeway Street. The Bruins have won one Cup (2011) since 1972, and even though they had a Full Throttle offseason, they’re not likely to contend for the chalice in the spring of 2025.

Shank mentioning Bobby Orr is the hockey equivalent of him mentioning Larry Bird in any given column.

The Bruins welcomed their cult back to Causeway Thursday and delivered a 6-4 victory over the hated Montreal Canadiens. It was the Boston franchise’s 101st home opener.

Cult? Like the Manson Cult? Branch Davidians? Blue Oyster Cult? Or - The Cult?

Here's where the column turns into real crap:

It was a nice introduction for Cam Neely and Don Sweeney’s Full Throttle pickups. Moneybags center Elias Lindholm (seven years, $54.25 million) had one goal and two assists and big defen$eman Nikita Zadorov (six years, $30 million) assisted on two goals. Newcomers Mark Kastelic (two goals) and Cole Koepke (one) also scored for Boston. Meanwhile, $66 million goalie Jeremy (puck stops here, buck stops here) Swayman made 20 saves in his first game since hitting the sweet crease jackpot.

Is it me, or is it scumbag behaviour for a sports columnist to resort to low hanging fruit and basically complain about the salaries of professional athletes? And - note the '$' when describing Zadorov. It's a sign of a shitty person if you ask this cat.

Luis Tiant, RIP

The Red Sox legend passed away this week, and Shank has the column:

Luis Tiant was a beloved Red Sox icon, but to us, he was also ‘Uncle Luis’

New England is deeply saddened.

Luis Tiant has died.

Everybody’s favorite.

Only Red Sox fans of a certain age can fully appreciate what it was like around here in October of 1975. That’s almost a half-century ago, so young folks will have to believe us when we tell you that there was truly nothing like the El Tiante phenomenon when the Red Sox had it going that season. Baby Boomer Sox fans with imagination still hear chants of “LOO-ie, LOO-ie” bouncing around ancient Fenway Park.

Know this: Before there was Pedro Martinez, Manny Ramirez, or David Ortiz, Boston had its first Latin American superstar in Tiant, the roly-poly Cuban righty with a Fu Manchu mustache who turned his back to batters as part of an elaborate windup that resulted in dazzling, unhittable pitches whizzing past befuddled batters (”wheeling and rotating on the mound like a figure in a Bavarian clock tower,” wrote Roger Angell).