Unfortunate

That's Shank's opinion on the late hit in last night's game between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Kansas City Chiefs which wound up helping the Chiefs to win, 23-20:

The Bengals’ unfortunate Joseph Ossai pushed himself into a dubious spotlight

And who better to help put Joseph Ossai into a dubious spotlight than Our Man Shank?

Some people see GOATS and think of Tom Brady, Michael Jordan, and Bobby Orr.

I see Goats and think of Bill Buckner, Scott Norwood, Grady Little, Pete Carroll, and now Joseph Ossai.

Let's not forget Shank's attempt at revisionist history when Bill Buckner passed away a few years ago; Shank's praise or denigration of certain Boston athletes depends on the situation.

Super Bowl LVII will feature Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs against the indomitable Philadelphia Eagles, who have shredded everything in their path on the way to Glendale, Ariz.

The Eagles got there with great help from the football gods, who determined that every man playing quarterback for San Francisco would get hurt this year. The Chiefs, meanwhile, were gifted when a humble, 22-year-old kid from Nigeria was flagged for a personal foul when he pushed an already-out-of-bounds Mahomes to the ground in a 20-20 game with eight seconds left in regulation.

Classic dumb play he'll have to live with his entire career - there's your column summary!

DHL Dan CLVI - Steal This Page!

Shank brings up an interesting parallel between Tom Brady's rise in the National Football League and what's happening with San Francisco 49'ers starting rookie quarterback Brock Purdy:

Brock Purdy is taking a page from the Tom Brady story, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if George Santos would agree to a one-year contract with the Red Sox …

▪ Tom Brady. Brock Purdy.

Their names roll off the tongue in similar fashion.

That was not the interesting parallel; let's get that one out of the way...

Remember how much fun we had watching 24-year-old Brady in the 2001-02 playoffs? Fresh-faced Tom had been fourth string in 2000, but one year later took over after franchise quarterback Drew Bledsoe got hurt. With Brady at the controls, the Patriots won their last nine games, including Super Bowl XXXVI in New Orleans. Young Brady was Super Bowl MVP.

Now you get to watch this all over again. You get to see 23-year-old rookie Purdy take the San Francisco 49ers into a conference championship game Sunday in Philadelphia. Purdy is 8-0 since taking over for Jimmy Garoppolo (remember him?) Dec. 4. Until proven otherwise, he is the new Tom Brady. Absurd, right? There will never be another Brady. We all know that.

In retrospect, those 'new Brady' plans will have to be put on hold until next year.

Wishful Thinking

Do you think Shank's getting just a bit ahead of himself this year?

The way the Bruins and Celtics are going, something very rare could happen in June

There has never been a winter like this winter for our Boston Garden teams.

They play just about every other night. They win just about every other night. We are more than halfway through the Bruins and Celtics 2022-23 regular seasons, and they have the best records in their respective sports.

So we must ask … can both play here in the Finals in June?

Imagine. The NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Final unfolding simultaneously in the Hockey/Hoop Hub of the Universe. A Bull Gang Bacchanal. The Larry O’Brien Trophy and Lord Stanley’s chalice sitting side by side in the bowels of TD Garden. Past champions Johnny Bucyk and Robert Parish — Chief and Chief — walking hand in hand on Causeway Street. Bobby Orr as Banner Captain one night, Larry Bird handing out the Bill Russell NBA Finals MVP trophy the next.

No city has ever won both winter sports titles in the same spring, but a duck boat doubleheader is possible for Boston in June.

So are our odds of hitting the Powerball jackpot tomorrow night...

DHL Dan CLV - Time For Tom To Retire

I think Shank means it this time:

A plea for Tom Brady to retire for good this time, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting for Brett Maher’s first extra-point attempt against the 49ers Sunday …

▪ Please, Tom Brady.

Just stop.

Enough already.

You’ve proven your point.

You played at the top level till you were 45, just as you pledged all those years ago. You hold all the records and you’ve won everything there is to win. You’re Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise, and Benjamin Button. You gave us so much joy here in New England for all those years and we can never thank you enough.

But here’s hoping you don’t succumb to the hubris and neediness of getting back out there with yet another team next year. There’s no need to try to do this again with Josh and the Raiders. The 49ers and Dolphins are pretty much set, thank you, and we all know you can’t come home again.

A half-century in this biz has taught me that it’s not up to media, or fans, to dictate when a player should retire, and I’m pretty sure you are determined to keep playing, but anyone who truly cares about you would tell you that it’s probably time to stop.

40 Years Running - The Grueling One Mile Run

This theme was a favorite DSW staple in our earlier years, and now we arrive at its fortieth anniversary:

One man’s idea of long-distance running: A mile a day for 40 years

It started as a New Year’s resolution in the Los Angeles Hilton on Jan. 1, 1983. I was there for a Rose Bowl game featuring Michigan and UCLA.

Forty years ago.

After getting out of bed, I jogged a mile on the streets of LA to make my 29-year-old self feel better.

And I never stopped. One mile a day. A four-decade, slow-motion grind that has taken me more than 14,500 miles, across America and back — twice! Practically Gumpish.

For a long while, it was a legitimate streak, almost Ripkenesque. I’d never miss. But I must confess that there have been gaps, especially in the last 10 years. A kidney stone halted the madness in 2012 and a shattered collarbone shelved me in 2015. There are a handful of other misses due to lost luggage, a knockout flu, sinus surgery, and one day when I overslept, rushed to an interview, and just plain forgot.

Read on for a pretty good column. Congrats to Shank on the streak!

DHL Dan CLIV - The Winter Of Discontent

When local sports teams are at their worst, Shank's at his best:

It’s a winter of discontent for Patriots and Red Sox, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting to watch Tom Brady in the playoffs on “Monday Night Football” …

▪ Things could not be much better for our winter teams. The Bruins and Celtics have the best records in their respective sports and we’re clearing June schedules for the Stanley Cup and NBA Finals.

But life is not perfect, and that brings us to the other two franchises in town: the Red Sox and Patriots, who have brought us an aggregate 10 championships in this century.

At this hour, both powerhouse New England institutions are in turmoil, facing crises of ownership, management, money, and roster construction.

It starts with the Red Sox, who are in far worse shape than the Patriots. They’ve finished last in two of the last three seasons, five of the last 11, and will go into 2023 as consensus favorites to land in the basement again. Ownership’s reluctance to pay/retain homegrown All-Stars such as Mookie Betts, Xander Bogaerts, and Andrew Benintendi paired with front office malpractice has left the Local Nine with a hideous everyday lineup and a starting rotation of Question Mark and the Mysterians.

Not Today

Shank feels yesterday's win by the Buffalo Bills over the New England Patriots was inevitable:

The Patriots were not going to beat the inspired Bills, not on this day, as Buffalo honored Damar Hamlin

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — We are accustomed to everyone outside of New England rooting against the Patriots, but perhaps never more than on this final day of the 63rd Patriot season.

Bill Belichick’s uneven, oft-dysfunctional 2022 squad put up a good fight in its regular-season finale, and there were still pipe dreams of playoff possibilities as darkness came over Niagara Falls Sunday afternoon. But in the end, the Patriots were vanquished by an inspired and talented group, playing to honor and celebrate teammate Damar Hamlin, who almost died on the football field just six days earlier.

Bills 35, Patriots 23.

The Buffalo Bills simply were not going to lose on this day.

DHL Dan CLIII - A Come Together Moment

To everyone's surprise, the Boston Red Sox signed Rafael Devers to a mega contract:

The Rafael Devers deal coming together was one for the books, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while packing for Buffalo, home of America’s Team …

▪ Signing a homegrown star to an 11-year, $331 million extension is not something a franchise does on the spur of the moment. It’s not something a team does in knee-jerk fashion. It’s not an emotional reaction to the owner of the ball club getting booed two days earlier in his own ballpark. That’s just silly.

But that’s the shorthand, folks. That’s what fans will remember years from now when the pluses and minuses of Rafael Devers’s whopping contract are debated after the Local Nine experiences more duck boat parades and/or last-place finishes.

Fair or unfair, the lasting narrative of the Devers extension is going to be that a minor fan insurrection at Fenway Park Monday motivated the Red Sox to sign their best remaining player.

In The Hunt

With one game to go in the NFL's 2022-2023 season, Shank devotes a column to the playoff fortunes of the New England Patriots:

Sure, the Patriots are in the playoff hunt, but does anyone really think they’re a good team?

This is why the NFL is the perfect sports product.

You can have a team like the Patriots — plagued by poor coaching, inept offense, and unusual dysfunction — and still be in contention for a playoff spot with one week left in the regular season. The Patriots’ status as a contender after 16 games is a tribute to Parity Pete Rozelle, Any Given Sunday, and the illusion of contention.

Remember when the Patriots used to play mostly 'Tomato Can' teams? Those were the days!

The Patriots beat the Dolphins (and their second and third-string quarterbacks), 23-21, Sunday in New England’s final game at Gillette this season. The Patriots raised their record to 8-8 and can qualify for a playoff spot if they win at Buffalo next Sunday.

New England fans certainly can feel good about a defense that forced two more turnovers (27) and scored its seventh touchdown of the season. Mac Jones (20-of-33 passing, 203 yards, 2 touchdowns) came alive late in the game and the much-maligned Matt Patricia made a nifty call on the goal line for the game-clinching touchdown.

But seriously, friends, is there any footie-pajama-wearing Pat Patriot who actually thinks this is a good team? Neither Full Rochie nor judge Richard Berman can make a case for the Pats beating the Bills next week (unless Buffalo has cause to tank), or winning a wild-card game on the road.

DHL Dan CLII - Picking Up Where Others Have Left Off

Shank's had nearly a full season of watching Patriots football and sums up what most other people have been talking about for months:

Mac Jones’s reputation has been taking a hit, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wishing I saw Pelé just once …

▪ What’s up with the Patriots and Mac Jones?

As the Patriots prepare for their penultimate regular-season game vs. the Dolphins at Gillette Sunday, there’s nonstop negative narrative regarding their second-year quarterback.

Mac has regressed in his second season and is one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL.

He actually has been bad since the first eight games of his rookie season. That’s a year and a half of bad.

He has been caught on national TV yelling at his coaches and teammates during games.

He couldn’t slow down Chandler Jones on the clown-show final play of the loss to the Raiders.

He presents as insubordinate and defiant of his coach. When Bill Belichick said, “We couldn’t throw it that far,” regarding a possible Hail Mary attempt at the end of the Raiders game, Jones came back a day later and said he could have reached the end zone. ”I know my number,” he said.

The rest of the column is the usual grab bag of stuff, most of it decent to good.

DHL Dan CLI - Placing Blame

Shank's favorite pastime as applied to the offseason Boston Red Sox:

Don’t blame Chaim Bloom. It’s ownership that did this to the Red Sox, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while playing Mitch Miller Christmas carols . . .

▪ Chaim Bloom is having a horrible offseason, but he’s not the sole reason the Red Sox are bad.

It’s not Chaim. It’s not Alex Cora or Alex Verdugo. It’s not Joe Castiglione, Wally The Green Monster, or his sister, Tessie.

It’s ownership. It’s John Henry, Tom Werner, and whoever else is directing baseball ops to seek value over winning. Mookie and Xander are gone with virtually nothing in exchange, and the last Sox star — Rafael Devers — has a foot out the door. Fangraphs reports that the Red Sox — ever a top-five spending team — have dropped to 12th in cash payroll.

What is happening to the Red Sox is a direct result of ownership decisions made late in the 2019 season, after Dave Dombrowski was fired. That’s when they decided to put the bottom line above winning. And that’s why the Red Sox — while charging the highest ticket prices in baseball — have only one healthy star left on a team that will be a consensus favorite to finish last for the third time in four seasons.

DHL Dan CL - Charlie At The NCAA

Shank's quick to point out the obvious flaw in this plan:

Good luck, Charlie Baker, you’ve got your work cut out at the NCAA, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces from a week on the dusty trail in Arizona . . .

▪ Massachusetts governor Charlie Baker Thursday was named the new president of the NCAA.

Sheesh. The man who looks like Roger Goodell is now going to try to fix something far more broken than any professional sports league.

As far as them being effective or even innovative managers, I don't see it in either guy. Guys like Goddell and Baker are simply yes-men, have zero history at turning companies / organizations around and nothing of note will happen with Baker heading the NCAA.

Good luck, Charlie. Big-time college sports is a cesspool. The NCAA makes the MBTA look like a well-oiled machine.

When Baker, who could have been governor for life (wrong! - ed.), announced he was stepping down after two terms, I assumed he was preparing to run for president of the United States.

Just what the 2024 field needs - Massachusetts' answer to Jeb Bush in 2016.

No. He’s now president of the NCAA, which could be more challenging than sitting in the Oval Office.

Baker’s now got to deal with the billion-dollar, blatantly professional, borderline criminal greed of big-time college sports while at the same time trying to serve worthy, Division 3 programs with true amateurs playing for the love of the game. It’s like overseeing Brookline Booksmith and Amazon Prime simultaneously.

How unlikely is Charlie Baker to succeed here?

Good luck, Charlie. Your first day on the job is March 1. By Easter you’ll be longing for those golden days of trying to fix the Orange Line.

She Ain't Exactly Pretty (She Ain't Exactly Small)

Here's Shank on last night's admittedly tough to watch at times Patriots / Cardinals Monday Night football game:

It wasn’t the prettiest football in a place filled with Patriots lore, but Mac Jones and Co. remain in the playoff chase

GLENDALE, Az. — It was injury-plagued, mistake-filled, and sometimes downright unwatchable. But in the end, it was a beautiful thing for New England football fans as the ragged Patriots scored 20 unanswered points in a 27-13 victory over the 4-9 Arizona Cardinals on “Monday Night Football.”

Bill Belichick and Co. are 7-6. Postseason hopes live.

“We did some things better, but we’ve still got a long ways to go,” said Belichick. “It takes everybody, and I thought we kind of had that tonight . . . It’s always good to win. That’s what we practice for.”

Mac Jones (24 for 35, 235 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT) did little to remind anyone of Tom Brady — and he’s still yelling at his own people — but his performance was good enough to keep playoff hopes alive in this tractor-pull season. The Pats have been able to beat bad teams and the Cardinals (losers of five of their last six) certainly qualify. Making things easier for New England, Arizona’s star quarterback, Kyler Murray, suffered a non-contact injury on the third play of the game and never returned.

What Shank means by Mac Jones 'yelling at his own people' are the two clusterfucks 'running' the offense - Matt Patricia and Joe Judge (AKA Beavis & Butthead):

Joe Judge & Matt Patricia are LOSTpic.twitter.com/hYY2hVs6yP

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) December 13, 2022

DHL Dan CXLIX - Swing And A Miss On Bogaerts

Shank covers the recent signings (and non-signings) of the Boston Red Sox as they gear up for 2023:

Xander Bogaerts leaving is the latest blow to an enraged Red Sox Nation, and other thoughts

TUCSON — Picked-up pieces while contemplating an Opening Day lineup of Yoshida, Hernandez, Devers, Story, Verdugo, Casas, Hosmer, Arroyo, and Wong.

Yuck.

▪ A lot of you went to bed Wednesday night feeling better about the Red Sox. They’d picked up a legit closer in Kenley Jansen and spent some real money to acquire outfielder Masataka Yoshida from Japan. There was even word from the Winter Meetings of new contract talks with Xander Bogaerts.

Then, while you were sleeping, it was reported that Bogaerts agreed to an 11-year, $280 million deal with the Padres.

An abused and enraged Red Sox Nation awoke to soul-crushing news of another cornerstone player gone with little coming in return. The notion that ownership cares more about money than winning was reinforced.

The Red Sox can afford to keep their best players. They just won’t do it anymore.

Not if it's going to be a contract lasting over a decade, which ought to be understandable. Three other teams are supposed to have been ready with similar bids but a 10+ year contract for a guy who's 30 isn't very logical. Let the other teams chase and likely overspend.

Dancing On A Grave

Posted with great glee and satisfaction, no doubt about it:

Schilling got 71.1 % of writers votes in his 9th yr of eligibility. He reacted by demanding to be removed from ballot, stating, "I'll defer to the veterans committee and men whose opinions actually matter.'' Today he got 43.7 % of their vote.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 5, 2022

DHL Dan CXLVXIII - Last At-Bat For Curt Schilling

A man who Shank can't stand has one more shot at the Baseball Hall of Fame:

Sunday is the judgment day Curt Schilling wanted, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while remembering when the Red Sox used the Hot Stove season to announce something better than advertisements on their uniforms …

▪ Curt Schilling could be named a Hall of Famer Sunday night. Same goes for Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds.

Baseball’s 16-person Contemporary Era Committee convenes at the Winter Meetings in San Diego Sunday, and just after 8 p.m., white smoke will likely emerge from the conference room, indicating that one or more new Hall of Famers have been chosen from a list of eight candidates who failed to gain election in 10 or 15 tries on the writers’ ballot.

Sheer math ensures that we won’t have a large class from this vote. A candidate needs 12 of the 16 votes to gain admission, and each voter can select no more than three. I’m expecting to see Fred McGriff elected. Schilling is a possibility. The other six men on the ballot are Clemens, Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, Don Mattingly, Dale Murphy, and Albert Belle.

It’s a potentially explosive night for MLB. This is the first opportunity for Schilling, Bonds, and Clemens to be judged by their peers. Seven Hall of Fame players — Chipper Jones, Greg Maddux, Jack Morris, Frank Thomas, Ryne Sandberg, Lee Smith, and Alan Trammell — are on the committee. Others on the committee are executives Theo Epstein, Paul Beeston, Arte Moreno, Kim Ng, Dave St. Peter, and Ken Williams, plus media reps Steve Hirdt, La Velle Neal, and Susan Slusser.

McGriff has considerable support, including some former teammates who are members of the committee.

We'll see how much support the others on the ballot receive, including Schilling.

Shank's Annual Boston Bruins Column

Nothing like a little bandwagon hijacking where the Bruins are concerned:

They’re responding to a new coach, have a former MVP on the third line, and plenty of locker room leadership. No wonder the Bruins can’t lose.

The Bruins were already good. Then they changed coaches and got better. Now they are playing the best hockey in the NHL.

How did this happen?

There was a lot of negativity on Causeway Street when Cam Neely and Don Sweeney fired Bruce Cassidy in June. The demanding Cassidy, a fan favorite, had coached 399 games and taken the Bruins to the playoffs in six straight seasons. He came within one game of winning the franchise’s seventh Stanley Cup in 2019.

But Jake DeBrusk didn’t like Cassidy and asked to be traded. Brandon Carlo told The Athletic he felt “beat down” by Cassidy. David Krejci went home to Czechia for the 2021-22 season.

In true millennial fashion, player empowerment trumped player accountability. So Cassidy was fired, Sweeney explaining that the coach’s style “takes its toll.”

“I had a long history with Bruce,” Sweeney said before the Bruins’ 3-1 victory over Tampa Bay Tuesday. “I respect the hell out of him. He’s a fantastic coach. But sometimes you just take the pulse of where your team is at and where you think you can get to, and you make a really tough decision. This was difficult.”

We'll see how long two things hold up - the Bruins' record and Shank's non-hostile treatment of the team.

DHL Dan CXLVXII - Conflict

It seems Jaylen Brown of the Boston Celtics has been making, shall we say, very unprofessional comments in past weeks:

Jaylen Brown’s actions are in conflict with his words, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while watching NESN’s Franchy Cordero highlight reel …

▪ No thanks, Jaylen Brown.

Again Wednesday, you spoke about continuing to “do what I’ve been doing, trying to uplift my community, spreading kindness, spreading love, trying to be the best version of myself, but also help any and everybody around me. That’s what I’ve been since I came into this league and that’s what I’m gonna continue to do.”

Sorry, Jaylen, but I have no interest in reading or hearing your well-intentioned words promoting social justice and spreading love. You’ve had three chances in the last month to denounce antisemitism and in each instance you balked, or chose to support your misguided friends, Kanye West, a.k.a. “Ye,” and Kyrie Irving.

When you were first asked about dumping your affiliation with the hateful Ye’s Donda Sports Agency, you said you planned to stay with the agency because Ye was “dealing with a lot of adversity.” It was only when Adidas dumped Ye that you followed.

I haven't been following this story all that closely but I'm pretty sure about one thing - you can't profess support for one group of people while pissing on another.

Punting On A Good Column

As is usually the case with many Shank columns about a win by the New England Patriots, it's not that the Patriots won but rather it's the Jets who lost the game:

Why didn’t the Jets punt the ball out of bounds instead of to Marcus Jones? Because they are the Jets.

In the end, the Jets are going to Jet. And Belichick is going to Belichick. And just when you think you have wasted three hours of your life, the Patriots reward you with one of the most exciting plays in sports; an 84-yard, last-minute, game-winning punt return by a player who is unknown to most New England sports fans.

The Patriots beat the Jets, 10-3, Sunday and Jones won the game.

Not quarterback Mac Jones.

Not ballhawk defensive back Jonathan Jones.

Not Dalton Jones, Sam Jones, K.C. Jones, Popeye Jones, Adam Jones, Tom Jones, nor Me and Mrs. Jones.

Now that's some Pulitzer Prize level writing right there!

DHL Dan CXLVI - A Cold Hot Stove

While three of the four local pro sports teams are doing fairly well (Patriots) or very well (Celtics & Bruins), Shank picks on the runt of the litter:

Red Sox sure seem to be taking their fans for granted, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while hoping to see Fireman Ed at Gillette Sunday …

▪ Do the Red Sox care that they’re largely irrelevant around here at this hour? Is anybody listening to the sounds of silence on Jersey Street? How long will the Sox continue to suggest they are going to do something about their roster while they do nothing? Does the team believe fans will keep filling Fenway (at the top prices in baseball) and buying NESN if it won’t pay market value to keep homegrown stars? Are we in for another long cold winter of “the Sox are in on this guy” while they merely troll the waiver wire for bargains who’ll come here for a one-year contract?

These are things I think about while the Celtics and Bruins go into the weekend with the best records in their sports, and the potentially playoff-bound, always-a-hot-topic Patriots attempt to beat the hated New York Jets for a 14th consecutive time.

Seriously. While acknowledging that the Celtics, Bruins, and Patriots are in season, and the Sox are not, how many times have we been able to safely say that the Red Sox are the least popular team in New England? By a wide margin?

He's got a point - the Red Sox have yet to sign either Xander Bogaerts or Rafael Devers and they don't seem serious about doing so.