Things To Avoid In Sports Columns

Politics tends to be a topic that doesn't mix well with sports. This is why:

As always, the world revolves around the Red Sox … even when it comes to presidential politics

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. — Everything in life comes back to the Red Sox … even the stunning news that President Joe Biden is dropping out of the 2024 race for the Oval Office.

In the days leading up to Biden’s Sunday afternoon shocker, there was considerable pressure on the aging president to stand down. Multiple Democratic senators and representatives were urging him to step aside.

Clearly, the last straw was Representative Jamie Raskin’s four-page letter to Biden in which he compared the 81-year-old commander-in-chief to Pedro Martínez melting on the Yankee Stadium mound after throwing too many pitches in Game 7 of the 2003 American League Championship Series.

“Martínez one of the greatest pitchers in Red Sox history, began to tire badly after 118 pitches,” wrote Raskin (D-Md.). “Martínez vigorously protested that he could continue and gave it his all despite the statistics about what happens when pitchers play after throwing for so long.

DHL Dan CCXV - For Sale

A few weeks after winning their 18th banner, the owners of the Boston Celtics are getting out while the getting is good:

Who’ll be next to own the Celtics, how long will it take, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while watching the USS Constitution take its annual victory lap . . .

▪ The Celtics just won a championship, Jayson Tatum got his extension, the whole band is back for next season, and it looked like everything was coming up Green around here.

Then, wham! The Celtics announced that the franchise is for sale. The team statement said the Grousbeck family, which holds the majority stake, has decided to pursue a sale “for estate and family planning considerations.”

It’s seismic sports news. We’ve had ownership stability for almost the entirety of this successful century. The Bruins have been owned by Jeremy Jacobs for 49 years, Bob Kraft bought the Patriots in 1994, and John Henry’s group took over the Red Sox in 2002. Irv Grousbeck and son Wyc took control of the Celtics in December of that same year.

And just in case you thought Shank's lost a bit on that ol' asshole fastball (Beetle on 98.5 The Sports Hub pointed this out this morning) ...

In conversations with some sources close to the situation, I’ve come away convinced that soon-to-be-90-year-old H. Irving Grousbeck is the one driving this sale and that 63-year-old son Wyc (one of four children of Irving Grousbeck) — managing partner, governor, and CEO of the Celtics, and always identified as the team’s owner — actually owns a relatively small stake in the franchise.

H. Irving Grousbeck — still teaching at Stanford Business School — has been the money behind the group since the beginning. (Forbes lists “Irving Grousbeck and family’s” worth at $1.8 billion.) There’s every indication that the billionaire rarely seen at Celtics games is motivating this sale in an attempt to get his affairs in order.

He made his fortune as cofounder of Continental Cablevision and is no doubt interested in ongoing negotiations for the NBA’s media rights. A nine-year deal is set to expire at the end of next season and the new deal, reportedly close to $76 billion, will have considerable impact on franchise values.

I emailed the elder Grousbeck late Wednesday, requesting comment on my assertions, and he responded Thursday with a polite no comment.

When I texted Wyc with, “You OK if I say your personal stake in the team is less than 2 percent?” he answered, “We hold as a family — all unified . . . We are a family and I also have a Celtics family is my comment. Thanks.”

I wonder what prompted Shank to try and pull Wyc's pants down like that? Time will tell, and I'll post something on it once it hits the news.

No Shows

This theme includes a couple of items, chief among them not reporting Shank's heart surgery from last month. I've been there myself, so I'm not exactly sure why I didn't post on this when it originally happened, but there it is.

In other no shows, Red Sox ace Curt Schilling won't be at Opening Day 2024 to commemorate the 2004 Boston Red Sox championship:

Curt Schilling will not attend Red Sox’ 2004 World Series celebration at home opener

Former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling has declined the team’s invitation to be part of the April 9 Opening Day ceremonies at Fenway Park, a source with direct knowledge told the Globe.

The Sox on Monday announced plans to honor the 20th anniversary of the 2004 champions, who are famous for ending the team’s 86-year World Series drought.

Schilling was a key part of that team, forever earning his place in Red Sox lore by pitching with a surgically repaired ankle in Game 6 of the ALCS against the Yankees — known as the “Bloody Sock” game.

The Sox also plan to honor the lives of Tim and Stacy Wakefield that day. Tim, who started Game 1 of the 2004 World Series against the Cardinals, died in October from brain cancer. His wife Stacy died from a different type of cancer in February.

Schilling came under fire in September for revealing the health diagnoses of the Wakefields in the days before Tim’s death.

Perfect Record

Here's Shank's semi-annual local sports story:

Watertown and coach Eileen Donahue have basically perfected the sport of field hockey

There is perfection.

And then there is Watertown field hockey. Which is something more.

Eileen Donahue’s Raiders play Dennis-Yarmouth in a Division 3 quarterfinal game at aptly named Victory Field Saturday at 11 a.m.

Watertown is seeking a third straight state title. And things look pretty good for the Raiders. They are 19-0 and have scored 128 goals while allowing zero.

That’s right. Folks around the team estimate that Watertown goalie Ava Husson has stopped only about 10 shots this season. Husson could study for the SATs while guarding the net. The ball is almost never down at her end of the field.

Shank's Golden Anniversary

I suppose 'golden' is a relative term:

Unpacking 50 years worth of memories from covering the sports scene

Boston sports.

So many stories. Sometimes all at once.

The Globe keeps track of stories you like to read. There’s a “most read on BostonGlobe.com” feature on our digital site. On Sunday and Monday, there were times when nine of the 10 most-read Globe articles were sports-related.

Wednesday, Oct. 4, marks the 50th anniversary of my first Boston Globe byline. It was a feature filed from Worcester (not sure how — dictation? US Mail? carrier pigeon?) in which I wrote about a Holy Cross receiver who was prepping for a game at Dartmouth. My little HC football story was not one of the 10 “most read” that day, but it was a big moment for a 20-year-old college junior who grew up reading Ray Fitzgerald, Clif Keane, Bud Collins, and Will McDonough.

Everything is quantifiable in 2023, and with this golden anniversary approaching, I reached out to the Globe library to see if they could tell me how many bylines followed that first one. Jerry in our library replied almost immediately and reported there have been 9,197 Shaughnessy stories since ‘73. That’s a lot of tomato cans.

Rumor Mill - Is The End Near?

Check out this tweet:

Angry Shank is turning 70 month. It's time to take that full Social Security payout and get the faack out of the business.... https://t.co/JkmqLKa3M6

— Boston Radio Watch®️ (@bostonradio) June 24, 2023

I'll update accordingly.

UPDATE, 11:24 AM - False alarm; here's the tweet that Cullinane was referencing:

It’s over. Has been for a while. Just grateful we got to do it when there were actual smart thoughtful fans/readers. https://t.co/yQJxqF5Yai

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 24, 2023

Not With You Guys Here

Mazz led off this afternoon's show by saying "Shaughnessy had an interesting tweet today". You be the judge:

A nice catch but actually bad optic for Red Sox because the zillion empty seats are the real takeaway here. https://t.co/NngsELaNz1

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 6, 2023

What, exactly, are the camera crew guys supposed to do, not show the stands? Should the Red Sox put a few hundred cardboard cutouts of people in the stands? Yeah, that'll fix it!

A Rip Job In The Making

Spotted at the Boston Garden last night:

I can’t wait. pic.twitter.com/6AwVn7sl3b

— Tucker Silva (@TuckSilva) May 30, 2023

Bitter To The Last Drop

News Flash - Shank's still pissed off at New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft:

Big win again for Kraft today. He embarrasses Parcells yet again. Canton hall of famer Parcells can’t crack petty pats hall of fame. More stupid than zevon missing rock HOF again.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) May 3, 2023

Who's being petty here? You decide!

Having It Both Ways, By Dan Shaughnessy

Dan gets called out on his hypocrisy (and early bad take on the Red Sox) once again:

Embarrassing to be this desperate to please one's bosses. https://t.co/o62W9PQm6B

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) May 2, 2023

Kind of my point, right? But if you’re going to start telling me they’re in last place after a game I’m going to point out there not after 30. Can’t play it both ways. Either we’re talking standings or we’re not. I’d just as soon not.

— Tom Caron (blue checkmark redacted) (@TomCaron) May 2, 2023

Weak response by the Shankster there; either refute the point or say nothing about it. Sometimes silence is golden.

What's This 'We' Shit, Kemosabe?

Shank feels left out (or he's feigning it again) of this year's NCAA basketball tournament:

We’re feeling left out of the men’s March Madness — and it wasn’t always like this

No white sport coat. No pink carnation. We are Big Dance wallflowers.

It’s March Madness season across the USA, but here in Greater Boston, we’re not involved. We are the ultimate outsiders. We are landline folks in a SmartPhone World.

The NCAA men’s Division 1 basketball tournament is more popular than ever and launches in full fury Thursday and Friday with subregionals in Columbus, Greensboro, Orlando, Sacramento, Des Moines, Albany, Denver, and Birmingham.

Here in the Hub of the Universe, we have no Terriers or Huskies in this fight. Also, no Eagles, Minutemen, Crimson, or Crusaders.

New England is represented. Sort of. On Friday, 15th-seeded Vermont plays Marquette in Columbus, fourth-seeded UConn faces Rick Pitino’s Iona in Albany, and 11th-seeded Providence plays John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats in Greensboro.

Once again, Shank writes a column whose tone is unmistakably provincial and arrogant - it's all about Boston / New England. The kicker is the use of John Calipari's picture to head the column; Shank hates this fucking guy, yet he'll use the picture to help sell the column. I was watching an ESPN '30 for 30' show about John Calipari a few days ago, and at one point it showed a picture of one of Shank's columns bashing Calipari during the end of Calipari's tenure at UMass, otherwise known as the 'run him out of town' phase of the relationship. Utterly shameless.

40 Years Running - The Grueling One Mile Run

This theme was a favorite DSW staple in our earlier years, and now we arrive at its fortieth anniversary:

One man’s idea of long-distance running: A mile a day for 40 years

It started as a New Year’s resolution in the Los Angeles Hilton on Jan. 1, 1983. I was there for a Rose Bowl game featuring Michigan and UCLA.

Forty years ago.

After getting out of bed, I jogged a mile on the streets of LA to make my 29-year-old self feel better.

And I never stopped. One mile a day. A four-decade, slow-motion grind that has taken me more than 14,500 miles, across America and back — twice! Practically Gumpish.

For a long while, it was a legitimate streak, almost Ripkenesque. I’d never miss. But I must confess that there have been gaps, especially in the last 10 years. A kidney stone halted the madness in 2012 and a shattered collarbone shelved me in 2015. There are a handful of other misses due to lost luggage, a knockout flu, sinus surgery, and one day when I overslept, rushed to an interview, and just plain forgot.

Read on for a pretty good column. Congrats to Shank on the streak!

Enjoying Other Peoples Misery

If it weren't for the fact that there's always a losing team, Shank would have nothing to write about.

The DSW alternate masthead lives on - Shank loves it when people and teams lose games:

Keeping an eye on the stumbling Yankees and Mets is entertaining right now

I’m in a New York state of mind.

Maybe it’s because watching the Yankees lose to the Rays last weekend was more enjoyable than watching the Red Sox roll the hapless Rangers (nine straight losses!).

Maybe it’s because the Yanks saw their AL East lead go from 15½ games to just three in the loss column earlier this week. The Yankees have a million players on the injured list, and Aaron Judge is the only guy who’s still hitting. A full el foldo is not out of the question.

It’s the same with the crosstown Mets. The Amazins have been in first place in the NL East for the entire season. They had a 10½-game lead over everybody in June, but just lost three straight to the lowly Nationals and Pirates, and were caught by the Braves Tuesday night. New York and Atlanta had identical records going into Wednesday’s play.

No Shot

It's time once again for Shank to mount his high horse Shetland pony and rag on Red Sox players who don't want to be forced to get a Covid 'vaccine' or two:

These absent anti-vaxxers give Red Sox no shot in Toronto

In this region, Kyrie Irving is routinely mocked and scorned for being a selfish team-killer.

Swell. So how are you all feeling about Kyrie Houck, Kyrie Duran and Kyrie Sale at this hour?

I wonder how Red Sox players really feel? It’s always Hakuna Matata around these Sox with their laundry cart rides, postgame strobelight locker room disco dance parties, and NESN happy talk, but how would you feel if your .327-hitting leadoff batter, your white-hot closer (six saves in six tries), and (possibly) your $30 million per year erstwhile ace chose not to help you win important games in June and (maybe) September/October?

I don't think Shank helps his cause with the juvenile derisiveness of calling all these guys Kyrie.

Swing And A Miss

While that's a theme that can be applied to some of Shank's work, the swing and a miss is on me, as Shank's been going at a good clip since the baseball lockout / labor dispute was resolved last week. Just go here and read them; regular Shank coverage will resume shortly!

What's Old Is New Again - II

Longtime fans of the DSW site will remember the raw nastiness that Shank helped to generate (and the equally nasty rejoinders from here and elsewhere). It's the Internet's corrolay to Newton's First Law, which Shank may or may not be familiar with. Roughly stated - for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. It's been pointed out numerous times on this site the order of precedence, which I'll dub Shank's First Law; if purposely inflammatory columns are published, there will be purposefully inflammatory reactions to the column.

This is why websites like Bob Ryan Watch, Chris Gasper Watch, Chad Finn Watch, Alex Speier Watch, etc. do not exist.

So imagine my surprise when a friend pointed out that even after all of these years of DSW being in existence, there are still pockets of vitriol for the CHB (that's Carl Everett's nickname for Shank, or Curly Haired Boyfriend) out there?

Facebook Group - Dan Shaughnessy, Insufferable Douchebag

Tension

Shank does his first ever column devoted to Red Sox and Boston Globe owner John Henry:

John Henry is no Rob Manfred, and I appreciate that

I am here today to celebrate and applaud John Henry.

Words you never thought you would read.

Here’s the deal. The Major League Baseball Network terminated an outstanding reporter, Ken Rosenthal, evidently because MLB commissioner Rob Manfred thought Kenny was being too mean to the commish and his ideas. By any measure, it goes down as one of the most idiotic management moves in MLB Network history.

Rosenthal is fair and smart, universally respected in big league baseball — by fans, owners, players, team officials, and reporters. Rosenthal is the goods. It is incredibly petty and short-sighted for Manfred to eliminate Rosenthal’s podium just because he can.

You can’t fool fans. Or viewers. Or readers. They always get it.

Henry is no Manfred. There no doubt have been plenty of times when the owner of the Red Sox — who is also owner of the Globe — would have preferred that my thoughts not run in his newspaper. Yet I am still here. Unfortunately for MLB Network viewers, Rosenthal didn’t have a boss who understood the role of the media, was willing to take some hits, and let the viewers make up their own minds.

Definitely worth reading in full.

Let's You And Him Fight!

Remember when I was mentioning a few years that Shank wouldn't be doing his weekly broadcasting gig at 98.5 The Sports Hub for much longer (and by implication he wasn't getting along with Marc 'The Beetle' Bertrand and Scott Zolak)?

Shots fired!

OK now, Beetle? https://t.co/lWw7YILfmf

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 2, 2022

DHL Dan CLXIV - The 'Mea Culpa' Column

Or - The One Where Belichick Gives Shank An Out:

In the spirit of the season, there are more than enough apologies to go around, and a few other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while laying out cold cuts and chips for Sunday’s big game in Foxborough . . .

A wee bit too early for that, isn't it? And why isn't he doing a traditional Buffalo Bills recipe (as I will) for the game, Buffalo Wings?

Pro tips here - a) cook the wings on the grill, not in the oven; b) coat the wings with flour & paprika so as to help prevent the wings from drying out; and c) your blue cheese recipe can be a mix of shredded blue cheese (I use Danish blue cheese) and sour cream, with a pich of mayonnaise.

▪ As you are no doubt aware, Bill Belichick on Monday apologized to reporters for his miserable news conference after losing to the Colts. Belichick’s remarkable act of contrition filled us with the spirit of Christmas.

Taking cues from the greatest coach of all time, let me take this opportunity to apologize to those who may have been offended in this space over the course of 2021.

Sorry, Ed Davis. There was no need to poke fun of you week after week about “cracking the case” of the David Ortiz shooting in the Dominican Republic. It was never personal. You are a great guy and a much-respected cop.

Do I detect just a bit of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm here?

Jackie Bradley Jr.? It was not necessary to highlight your .163 batting average on a weekly basis (but he did anyway - ed.). I’m pretty sure the metrics show that you were just unlucky. Welcome back to Boston, dude. We look forward to all the great catches in center field.

UMass football? Can’t say I’ve been wrong about this, but it’s certainly not the players’ fault and perhaps we don’t need to keep reminding everyone that Division 1 was a mistake. Sorry.

Mindful that space is precious, let’s bundle other personalities who perhaps misunderstood my attempts at constructive criticism.

In the spirit of Belichick, here’s a massive mea culpa to Garrett Richards, Sean McDermott, Tiger Woods, Sam Kennedy, Aaron Rodgers, Danny Ainge, the Cheatin’ Houston Astros, all soccer owners who attempted to form a Super League, J.D. Martinez, Naomi Osaka, everyone at NESN, Bob and Jonathan Kraft, Kyrie Irving, Craig Kimbrel, John Calipari, the New England Revolution, Brad Stevens, Megan Rapinoe, the anti-vax Red Sox, Geno Auriemma, Tom Werner, Rob Manfred, Ortiz, and Cam Newton.

I could go on, but there’s a big game coming up and we don’t want this apology to last longer than the Beatles’ “Get Back” documentary.

Can you imagine how long this coulum would be if Shank offered up apologies of questionable sincerity that go back decades? What if he 'apologized' for slagging the likes of Roger Clemens, Nomar Garciaparra, Pedro Martinez, Johnny Damon, Theo Epstein (AKA the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column), Bill Buckner, Carl Everett, and Jeff Stone, just off the top of my head?

Now that obligatory and insincere apologies are out of the way, let's get back to cricizing athlethes, shall we?

▪ Nice job by selfish anti-vaxxer Cole Beasley exercising his “personal freedom,” which makes him unavailable for the Bills’ biggest game of the season. Fellow unvaxxed receiver Gabe Davis will also be out for Buffalo Sunday.

First - this is disingenuous - Beasley's not on the sidelines for not getting the 'vaccination'; he's out because he's contracted the virus. Is Shank not aware that vaccinated people can contract and spread the Wuhan Flu just like the unvaccinated? There are many concerns why someone won't go for a 'vaccine' - potential blood clots, myocarditis, heart arrythmia (since your heart's inflammed after myocarditis) and what might not be currently known about these 'vaccines'. I for one will not be getting any more 'vaccines' based on these facts, having suffered multiple 'cardiac events' as my doctors euphemistically call them; I'll wait for full FDA approval before the next one. Also consider - I got an MMR booster vaccine (Measles, Mumps & Rubella) two years ago, about fifty years after receiving the first one. Now that's a vaccine, not this 'booster' flu shot stuff, which is how this virus is currently shaking out.

Here's a shocker - Shank knows about other bands besides the Beatles & the Rolling Stones:

▪ Former Dodgers All-Star center fielder Brett Butler went to the same high school (Libertyville in Illinois) as Marlon Brando and Adam Jones, the guitarist for Tool.

Here's Tool's Danny Carey behind the drumkit wearing a Larry Bird jersey.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

What's Old Is New Again

It seems Shank wrote a book about the 1980's era Boston Celtics recently, and now there's an excerpt or two making the rounds. Here's part of one of them:

During the 1985 Eastern Conference Finals against Philadelphia, Bird’s ever-crooked right index finger was newly mangled and swollen.

The day before Game 5, Bird practiced with his right hand taped in a web-like fashion. His ring and pinky fingers were wrapped together, as were his middle and index fingers. At the end of practice, he stopped on his way to the locker room and took questions.

“Larry, you can’t play in a playoff game with your hand taped like that, can you?” I asked.

“You never know,” he teased. “It’s a different feeling. I don’t like anything taped because then it just doesn’t feel like it usually does. It’s difficult to shoot when you have something on your hand. Although I don’t think Greg Kite has anything to worry about. He could wear a cast.”

“But seriously,” I pushed. “You’re not going to tape it like that for the game tomorrow, are you?”

“Scoop, I could tape my whole hand up and make more shots than you.”

...

The worse I got, the better he got. Bird made 46 of his last 50. He made 73 of 80 after figuring it out in the first two rounds. He made 86 of 100 free throws with a taped fist. I made 54.

“You owe me $160,” he said.

Seems a few details were left out of this 'excerpt', like - 'how'd Bird's hand get injured?' and 'did Shank actually cough up $160 to Larry Legend?' First question first:

Larry was MVP in ’84, ’85, and ’86, and the height of his powers was ’85. He was on the cover of Time magazine and it was a big deal. That’s when he had the 60-point game in New Orleans against the Atlanta Hawks. So, we found out later he’d gotten in a barroom fight in downtown Boston, down by Faneuil Hall. It was a bar, I think it was called Chelsea’s. Larry had come to the defense of a teammate, or some issue, and doing the old-school Indiana thing he swung at a guy and he messed up his hand. And he was taping it at practice, and it was a very odd-looking kind of a web-taping, splitting his hand into two sets of fingers.

And question #2 - Dan Shaughnessy, cheapskate!

HIMMELSBACH: So wait, you expensed the $160 that you lost in a shooting contest?

SHAUGHNESSY: Yes, and evidently the IRS frowns on the word ‘wager’ in expense accounts, (because it's a personal expense, maybe? - ed.) because it bounced back and they said ‘You cannot put ‘wager’ in an expense account.’ So I just made it eight $20 lunches with [Celtics center] Robert Parish. We just substituted.