Keep On Trollin'

He's not even being subtle about it anymore:

Shank just needs 2 more years at the Globe to get his max SSA benefit. I wouldn’t troll the bosses like that if you are looking to coast to happy retirement… https://t.co/cub2O6prLa

— Boston Radio Watch, Part 2 (@bostonradio2) October 5, 2021

And as always with anything printed by the Boston Globe - trust, but verify.

Who's Trolling Who?

JUst to confirm the obvious - Shank writes & tweets more about the Red Sox when they're on losing streaks:

Red Sox spanked 9-1 on Sunday Night Baseball. Are 2-6 and have lost three straight series since trolling everyone with this Twitter bio. pic.twitter.com/gWbLhQlzWo

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 19, 2021

Reader reaction is pretty much what you'd expect:

I wrote this about an hour ago: pic.twitter.com/nIHG9Urqvq

— Geoff Walker (@gewa76) July 19, 2021

Hey Dan do you ever say anything positive about the team

— Ben (@bennythebunny22) July 19, 2021

Having read as much of what you’ve written since 2004 as I could stand, I have to conclude that you prefer being miserable. Ain’t that right, CHB?

— Greg Murphy (@MurphyGreg) July 19, 2021

Weak Sarcasm Used

The Red Sox have the best record in baseball with a 84-35 record, so naturally Shank needs to complain about something with the team:

3 run lead. Clean inning. Bunch of orioles due up. This is when Craig Kimbrel is the greatest closer ever

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 12, 2018

He’s been closing professional baseball games for 8 years averaging 42 saves and a 1.86 era. This isnteven trolling, its ignorant.

— TaryGanguay(@TGanguay) August 12, 2018

You expect Shank to look up icky numbers?

I beg of you, try to enjoy ANYTHING

— Prince Priceless (@pfunk3000) August 12, 2018

Big ask, that one...

That's probably a correct take.....but coming from you makes it seem so nasty and small....

— Mark h. dickie(@mark_mhdickie) August 12, 2018

Expect nothing less from Shank, and nothing more.

Eight Days After

Until Red Sox spring training rolls around, this appears to be the only thing Shank is capable of writing about:

Eagles lineman says Patriots are ‘fear-based organization’ https://t.co/QTXOcqJT4J pic.twitter.com/rJWLBvV7lR

— Boston.com Sports (@BDCSports) February 11, 2018

Does this man have a point? https://t.co/HfRY9jWHL1

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 11, 2018

Shank then gets taken to the woodshed:

Pats have 5 rings with this regime
I’ll let the numbers speak for themselves

— Mike Polly` (@metman84) February 11, 2018

This is why free agents never sign or re-sign with the Pats, and certainly none of them would take less money to stay with the Pats #You’reSuchAFraud

— 5Rings RogerThat(@MVPTB12) February 11, 2018

Seriously? This guy wins one Super Bow and he's the authority on the franchise who has won 5 of them? Every business is about results, not having the most fun. How much fun did Cleveland, NYG, NYJ, Colts TB, Bears, and Azhave this year?

— pauldevlin(@sportsrip) February 11, 2018

Volinsays it's better to lose in AFC championship and Shank's worried about the players having fun. Good sports section you got there @BostonGlobe

— Ryan Foley (@Foley885) February 11, 2018

@danieljlavoie is Shaughnessy for real? Is he just anti Boston sports or just a master troll

— Drew Strong (@dstrong626) February 11, 2018

Embrace the power of 'and', Drew!

The Rapier Wit Of Dan Shaughnessy

Or rather, the lack thereof:

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. If Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, it means one more weekend of Tomato Cans for the Patriots.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 1, 2018

Readers let him have it:

Shank Shaughnessy, Jan 11, 2010: “the dynasty is over”. Whoops

— Introduced as a team (@introdasateam) February 1, 2018

If the patriots play their game to their capabilities they will win but it’s not gonnabe as easy as a lot of people think. It never is in the Super Bowl with the patriots

— jerry kirk (@jerry_kirk) February 1, 2018

This schtickis so overdone it's unreal

— Michael McNamara (@jku14evo) February 1, 2018

Jaguars were not tomato cans.

— Donald Ichton(@barkingspaniel) February 1, 2018

For an accomplished writer, you seem stuck on this one topic. Is this a form of writer’s block or are you just trolling? We get it, the AFC sucks.

— shrikes03 (@shrikes03) February 1, 2018

Super Bowl Trolling, Part III, Act II

Looks like 'ol Shankaroni & the Globe got some constructive, positive feedback from the most recent iteration of the column he's written four dozen times over the years:

Second of a two-part series by @Dan_Shaughnessy on why the Eagles can’t win: Nick Foles is a good story — but it won’t be good enough. https://t.co/7RZPhbQ6w7

— Boston Globe Sports (@BGlobeSports) January 31, 2018

Wow. What a fresh, original take from Shank! #yawn

— Displaced Bostonian (@Ironhead334) January 31, 2018

Another predictable and boring column by the Tomato Can of Boston sports scribes. If the Pats roll he’ll pat himself on the back , if they lose he’ll rip the high chairs, fanboysand most of all coach saying he took Philly lightly. This clown actually looks like a 🍅 pic.twitter.com/SuSbE5S2Dh

— JediMaster77 (@mattsgry7) January 31, 2018

This is the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life

— Kyle Richards (@kylerichards248) January 31, 2018

You must be new here!

I don't like either team but this "journalist" is a hack.

— jasonfox (@jroc967) January 31, 2018

Feel the love...

Super Bowl Trolling, Part II

Not content with rewriting the same column over and over and over and over, Shank now drags donuts into the equation:

Today is a day when bill belichick truly can eat nick foles for breakfast pic.twitter.com/zHojogtxQM

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 31, 2018

Super Bowl Trolling, Part 1

Shank's stepping up his game in an attempt to troll the fifth largest city in the United States.

First of a two-part series on why the Eagles can’t win the Super Bowl vs. the Patriots.

Part one: Eagles head coach Doug Pederson.

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Philadelphia Eagles coach Doug Pederson seems like a very nice fellow and has a serviceable NFL résumé as a player and coach.

“Doug Pederson’s done a great job with this football team,’’ Bill Belichick said Tuesday.

No doubt Belichick respects Pederson. It’s the professional thing to do. Pederson was an NFL quarterback for a long time and made his bones as an offensive coordinator for the Kansas City Chiefs. Now he has his Eagles in Super Bowl LII.

All niceties aside, deep down Belichick has to be thinking . . . there’s no way I can lose a Super Bowl to this guy!

And he’s right. Pederson is destined to join Mike Martz (Rams), John Fox (Panthers), Andy Reid (Eagles), Pete Carroll (Seahawks), and Dan Quinn (Falcons) as guys who lost to Belichick in a Super Bowl.

Some of the men listed above had a chance. Martz probably had a better team than the Patriots with his heavily favored Greatest Show on Turf back in 2002. Fox and Reid came to their Super Bowls as veteran coaches with impressive résumés. Carroll had already won a Super Bowl with Seattle and is actually a year older than Belichick.

How about Tom Coughlin, smart ass?

We've seen this too many times from Shank - any further commentary would be as repetitive as these rehashed columns.

And Now For More Boston Globe Employee Bashing - IV

Shank isn't the only Boston Globe sportswriter who doesn't like the New England Patriots or Tom Brady:

So Brady releases his all access documentary this week, then doesn't want to talk about it because it's a distraction? I believe that's called, "having your cake and eating it too." pic.twitter.com/LvbzDUnGQS

— Ben Volin (@BenVolin) January 27, 2018

Did Brady take a page out of the Trump playbook?

Exactly. Brady has smartly and hilariously turned the tables on the media which has filled past playoff runs w/ nonsense distractions targeted at the Patriots. This time, TB12 tosses out a brontosaurus bone for the mad dogs to gnaw at, giving himself space to prepare for the game

— Sam (@Taghkanic) January 28, 2018

Put words in Brady's mouth? Check:

he didn't call it a distraction, the reporter framed the question that way. C'mon. I know you work for the Globe, but surely you can do better.

— Theresa (@PatsFanGarb) January 27, 2018

I think the future's already here:

Ben Volin= Future Shank. Absolutely terrible. Will say anything for clicks.

— Jeff Joel (@JeffJoel) January 27, 2018

Troll, Troll Troll Your Boat

It seems Shank's been laying it on thick over the past twenty-four hours. First it's with last night's game, starting where it always does - the freakin' coin flip:

Pats win coin toss. Don't Defer. The World Is Upside Down. NE has no respect for these guys
This One's Over

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

Carnac then peers into the future:

I can see how this is going to go:
Titans Tonight.
Jags Next Week
Eagles with Folesin Super Bowl.
Could this get any easier?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

And as the Jacksonville Jaguars finish off the Pittsburgh Steelers a few minutes ago:

Standing between the Patriots and another trip to the Super Bowl:
Blake Bleeping Bortles.
Wow.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

Last but not least, Shank shows of his mad emoji skillz:

🍅🛢

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

It's gonna be a long week, isn't it?

Broken Record / Recycling Alert

Shank's back to two of his favorite pastimes - rewriting old columns and stirring the pot mere hours before the Patriots play a divisional round playoff game.

FOXBOROUGH — With turmoil swirling around Route 1 and the heavily favored Patriots preparing to play Tennessee in the NFL divisional round on Saturday night, I thought it would be a good time to hop in the Wayback Machine and revisit a celebrated dustup between Bob Kraft and his future Hall of Fame coach when the Patriots were preparing for their second Super Bowl in early 1997.

That’s right, boys and girls. Welcome to Pigskin Deja Vu in Fort Foxborough. We have been here before.

The banishment of Tom Brady’s training guru and Bill Belichick’s unexplainable dumping of Jimmy Garoppolo don’t represent the first instance of trouble at the top during a Patriots Super Bowl run. And just like today, everybody lied about it then while it was unfolding.

Anyone remember the final days of Bill Parcells’s Patriots tenure in 1997?

And if you don't, Shank's here to eagerly remind you!

Seriously - what is the purpose of this, other than this being yet another battle in Shank's 20 year war against the Patriots? That's right - it's also an attempt to antagonize Patriots fans before a playoff game. It's the dreaded Shank twofer!

Responses on his Twitter feed are about what you'd expect:

No comparison between the 2 city articles today Shank?? Chowder vs Catfish????

— BillyFromManchester (@billyskouteris) January 13, 2018

Just dumb that you think Kraft would confirm a story two days before a Super Bowl and even dumber that you think Parcells deserves to be in Pats Hall of Fame. He quit on his team before a Super Bowl. Other than than that, great piece.

— George Brennan (@gpb227) January 13, 2018

You think the Kraftswill have another breakfast and leave you off f the invite list than you can get butt hurt and go after them for 20 more years

— Rick Ricciardi(@robemjoshreese) January 13, 2018

You are pitiful, inventing turmoil where there is none . Keep stirring the shit storm Shank something should shake out for you. If not , in true Globe tradition make something up.

— Pat (@Paintcan66Pat) January 13, 2018

And Now For Some Ron Borges Bashing

(Another of the occasional departures from Shank and Boston Globe bashing)

Readers of the Dan Shaughnessy Watch are fairly versed in Shank's flat-out hatred of the New England Patriots shortly after Robert Kraft purchased the team over two decades ago. We sometimes forget about another redoubtable Patriots troll. Of course I'm speaking about former Boston Globe plagiarist, the current Boston Herald columnist Ron Borges.

FOXBORO — The recent trailer for the upcoming Facebook documentary on Tom Brady’s fight with Father Time seemed a bit, shall we say, eerie. In fact, if the words coming out of his mouth had been uttered by Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, New England football fans would be chortling that both had lost their minds.

But in this part of the football world Tom Brady can do no wrong, at least not until he does. Then the whispers begin that the “Tom vs. Time” battle that is the subject of this six-part documentary on Facebook is being lost. This usually comes on the few weekends when the Patriots also lose. When they win, 40 is the new 30 and TB12 is as invincible as the Terminator. Still, to hear him sounding like a Cherokee or a Chickasaw coming out of a sweat lodge was a little unsettling.

First - anyone who reads Borges side-by-side with a Shank column will realize Borges' knowledge of football is vastly superior to Shank's, and even that might be an understatement. That said, both share the common trolling technique of praising the Patriots to some degree while ripping them and certain members of the team (read - Tom Brady) when it suits them. I'm fine with Borges mentioning Tom's past five games being less than his stellar self but the tone of his column, taken as a whole, seems to be somewhere between piling on and a rip job.

Newer readers may not be familiar with the dynamic with Borges and the Patriots - It's all but certain that while Borges was writing at the Globe in the 20th century, his primary source for juicy Patriots locker room gossip and other inside information was Drew Bledsoe. Borges hatred of the Patriots started at some point between Brady taking over for Bledsoe after the infamous Mo Lewis hit on Bledsoe and his subsequent trade to the Buffalo Bills. You could say Borges and Shaughnessy share quite a bit in common.

A Borges digression - the Globe shitcanned his ass a little over a decade ago. Once he landed on his feet at the Herald a short time later, a little Globe birdy told me that Borges was seething for revenge against the Globe for axing him, vowing 'I'm gonna fucking bury them'. To the best of my knowledge, Borges never filed a lawsuit against the Globe. So much for that bravado.

Stepping Up The Trolling Game

A little over a day before the Patriots play the Tennessee Titans in the divisional round of the 2017-2018 playoffs, the Titans' team plane is having some problems:

The #Titans have been sitting in their plane on the tarmac in Nashville for over two hours. Not good, especially for the big guys with bad backs. #Patriots.

— Paul Kuharsky (@PaulKuharskyNFL) January 12, 2018

And so it begins . . . https://t.co/wF7HeyD3Q1

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 12, 2018

I guess the Shank Store's out of tomato cans?

Readers are having some fun with this:

pic.twitter.com/02fR7j7qoB

— Barry (@LiciousLounge) January 12, 2018

Delayed at the gate gate?

— Tony Calderone(@tonysee200x) January 12, 2018

And so @Dan_Shaughnessy begins to troll.... pic.twitter.com/8bJJYyzZXc

— Tim (@timkelly02) January 12, 2018

And the winner:

pic.twitter.com/d3WpdotEBO

— FBombah (@FBombah) January 12, 2018

And So It Begins

Longtime readers will be familiar with the following themes raised in this post, but I'd like to put it out there for some of the folks who are not familiar with Shank when it comes to his treatment of the New England Patriots during the NFL playoffs. The Patriots will be hosting a divisional round game next week with three possible opponents; the Buffalo Bills, the Jacksonville Jaguars Tennessee Titans (corrected, sorry! - ed.) or the Kansas City Chiefs. We've been waiting for this column since Sunday, and we say this as a guide / warning to the fans and sports media of those three franchises:

DO NOT FALL FOR THIS CRAP FROM DAN SHAUGHNESSY!

Contrary to his opening sentence, he does the same tired shtick just about every god damn year as he's done with his latest column. It's as predictable as the snow that lands in my driveway every winter. He's done this to the fans of the St. Louis Rams, the Houston Texans (twice!) (sorry - make that thrice!), the Indianapolis Colts, and this style of column even extends to other sports, like the Boston Celtics against the Cleveland Cavaliers and others which I won't bother with because it's overkill and I'm tired from getting rid of snow for two hours. Regardless, the above links demonstrate a clear and consistent pattern - write columns that are designed to piss of as many people as possible, and the best way to do that is to antagonize both / all fan bases and the media that covers the teams. Let me borrow from the words of Bruce Allen at Boston Sports Media Watch (written four years ago):

...
This resistance to change is apparent in his work, where he provides a mad-libs series of column templates, which are used over and over again. Within these recycled columns, he even recycles elements and references, (tomato cans, Animal House, Warren Zevon, Amos Alonzo Kraft, etc etc etc) most of which are terribly dated, but as mentioned, Shaughnessy’s not big on change.

Where’s the genius part, you ask?

Somehow, Shaughnessy has managed to continually pull off the exact same Jedi mind-trick over and over and over. He gets not only Boston, but opposing cities, and national networks to fall for his schtick and give him the attention (and yes, money!) that he is looking for.

Let’s run through the last 48 hours, so that you can see what I’m talking about here.

On Tuesday, Dan’s horrendous column on Patriots/Colts is published. It’s written in such a way that it will make both sides angry. In a nutshell, the theme is The Patriots suck, but the Colts still can’t beat them.

Patriots fans who read the column – and that number dwindles by the day – were furious. Just another hackjob on the Patriots, and this time he included among the usual drivel, the jab that Gerry Callahan suggested he should use – the one about the life guard chairs.

Even though the column is decidedly anti-Patriots, the title is Colts won’t be a challenge for the Patriots.

And what are we reading today from Shank?

Many of you are tired of me hammering the same old themes (not me! - ed.), so today I’ll leave it to former Patriots general manager Upton Bell to characterize the field of candidates in the NFL’s 2017-18 postseason tournament, which kicks off with four wild-card games this weekend.

“It’s the worst group of playoff teams I’ve seen in 40 years, maybe ever,’’ said Bell. “It’s truly the March of the Tomato Cans.’’

Couldn’t have said it better myself. And I’ve tried, believe me.

That, dear reader, is an understatement!

If you've read those links to his most recent 'work', Bruce Allen's concise analysis of Shank's columns before that time frame, and his most recent column, the pattern should be obvious and jump right out at you.

The words may or may not change, but the story is always the same, every single time. And the bonus? If the Patriots lose, he gets to take a major shit on them, because he's hated Patriots owner Robert Kraft for the past two decades:

What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

So, what you're seeing is another chapter in a long, long review of the Book of Shaughnessy. Read at your peril!

Old Dog, Old Tricks

Despite the Patriots being a mere three point favorite and the line not moving at all for the past two weeks, Shank has to belittle the Atlanta Falcons one more time:

Pats getting ready for Falcons pic.twitter.com/tY8QerIJVR

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 4, 2017

Reaction is pretty much what you'd expect:

@Dan_Shaughnessy hahhahaha. Another tomato can reference from shank. 6 months later this is still fresh take. #lazy

— JC (@Nofivhole) February 4, 2017

@Dan_Shaughnessy @scottzolak who would you have the Patriots play in a 16 game season that would constitute a "nontomato can team"

— Nick Caggiano(@n_caggiano) February 4, 2017

@Dan_Shaughnessy @scottzolak not YOUR textbook definition of a tomatcan. Try not being lazy and say something different.#attentionwhore

— Patrick Fall (@fallbawls) February 4, 2017

@Dan_Shaughnessy pic.twitter.com/nHJSCSdJEd

— Jon (@CPJonGoSox) February 4, 2017

@Dan_Shaughnessy how original of you, Dan - work on some new material

— Jason Shanahan (@Shanny1976) February 4, 2017

@Dan_Shaughnessy Like your cut and paste articles Barnicle, I mean Dan.

— mikeyface(@umbraman) February 4, 2017

@Dan_Shaughnessy you already drunk Dan?

3-2 kid assaulted any police officers this week or nah?

— Banana-Town #1 Mafia (@CarpoolJorts) February 4, 2017

Trolling Effort Noticed - II

A few days ago, Atlanta sports blog 'Blogging Dirty' picked up on Shank's Falcons troll from last week:

We expected the Atlanta Falcons to get little respect from the New England media, but the Boston Globe just insulted the entire city of Atlanta.

The Atlanta Falcons are receiving very little credit from the New England media. This surprises no one within Falcons Nation as we’re aware the team was completely overlooked for all of 2016. We expected overconfidence from those within Patriots territory, but what the Boston Globe published on Monday crossed the line.

What I’m talking about is Dan Shaughnessy’s recent piece of work titled: “It’s hard to get pumped up about a Super Bowl against Atlanta”.

Here's where they (actually, author John Follett) cut loose on Shank:

Shaughnessy Doesn’t Know Football, Much Less the Falcons

Dan Shaughnessy hasn’t paid attention to a single down of Atlanta Falcons’ football this season. He has no idea the offensive weapons the Falcons have, nor a clue how the Patriots can match up against each. Shaughnessy is also oblivious to the Atlanta defense’s road to Super Bowl 51 that included knocking Drew Brees, Russell Wilson, and Aaron Rodgers out of their respective comfort zones.

Not a single ounce of actual football analysis was published by Shaughnessy on Monday. As far as he’s concerned, the Patriots will win Super Bowl 51 simply because the city of Boston has been a winner. It’s not shocking as Shaughnessy knows very little about the game. This much is obvious considering he took a Super Bowl headline and attempted to support it with a lot of basketball talk.

Shaughnessy’s article turns into a nice little history about the rich and prosperous Boston sports scene that predates Larry Bird. He dared to compare the Boston sports market to that of Atlanta, but not without insulting the city of Atlanta in the process.

Congratulations, Atlanta - you got Shanked!

Trolling Effort Noticed

This was from a few days ago:

The New England Patriots must overcome the Atlanta Falcons in order to capture the franchise’s fifth Super Bowl title since 2001. Boston Globe scribe Dan Shaughnessy is unhappy with this situation because, to paraphrase, Atlanta is not a worthy adversary but instead a pitiful sports city unable to conjure up the slightest bit of hate in New England.
...
Now, let’s give Shaughnessy some credit where it’s due. All of the potential matchups would have been more interesting to the casual observer. Dallas, New York and Green Bay are NFL bluebloods. Seattle is flirting with a dynasty. But, let’s also admit what’s painfully obvious.

Check out the rest of the column, for it is good.

Question Is Asked

Shank's just doing the job other Boston journalists can't be bothered doing - antagonizing New England Patriots fans during the offseason:

No support for Parcells in Patriots Hall of Fame?
Is there a silent majority, or are Patriots fans just idiots?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) April 7, 2016

Shank is then reminded of a few things:

@Dan_Shaughnessy upset because you and Borges wanted to eat his ass like the Human Centipede

— MattyAlmeida (@MattyCat24) April 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy sorry, quit at the super bowl =disqualified. Guess I'm an idiot.

— DarrisM (@darrismcfarland) April 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Raymond Berry 5 seasons 48-39 two 11 win seasons 1 SB app. Bill Parcells 4 seasons 32-32 1 11 win season. Idiots rule

— Robert Chase (@RLCINVT) April 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy We're too busy watching replays of the UConn game

— Jason Martell (@canadasox) April 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy he sucks like you Dan we never forget

— John Keane (@JohnnyFKNH) April 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy OMG LOL FANS ARE IDIOTS! LOLOL This writer knows how to connect to his reader(s). #DickBag

— Justin Vildavs(@vlad24) April 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Are the Baseball writers idiots for giving you the theTaylor Spink Award.

— Kappy(@SLB49308235) April 7, 2016

I believe that last question was rhetorical...

Direct Hit

Following up on Shank's April 20th column, we can confirm he successfully trolled the city of Cleveland whilst simultaneously complimenting the Cavaliers. Shank's most recent Jedi mind trick, as coined by Bruce Allen of Boston Sports Media Watch, resulted in a letter to the Globe editor and a number of offended columnists, other Ohio writers and pissed off Cleveland residents, which were fodder for Boston radio and even led to speculation that Shank's troll job led to the lack of confetti, Cleveland's customary celebration of a Cavaliers win, when Cleveland won Game 2 on Tuesday.

Congratulations, Cleveland - You Got Shanked!

Second Verse, Same As The First

To the fans of the Indianpolis Colts as well as to our fellow bloggers and sportswriters in the Indianpolis area:

DO NOT FALL FOR THIS CRAP FROM DAN SHAUGHNESSY.

We at Dan Shaughnessy Watch have been waiting for this column for four days. The sun will rise, the sun will set, and when the Patriots are in the playoffs, Shank will write a column designed to piss off as many people as possible. And today, he delivers once again.

Feel free to scroll down to other recent Dan Shaughnessy Watch posts, where we've documented this fourth-degree black belt in trolling, which he's successfully developed in his thirty-three year career at the Boston Globe, and how he successfully trolled all of you in the past. More on that in a moment while we sample today's wares:

We respect the Indianapolis Colts. They’re a solid organization with a smart, classy coach and one of the finest young quarterbacks in NFL history. The Colts have great helmets, and they play in a beautiful indoor stadium in the heart of one of America’s most underrated cities. They pummeled the vaunted Broncos, in Denver, to qualify for the AFC Championship game.

There. So much for the compulsories.

So, he's bullshitting you right off the bat - Clue #1...

Now let’s get it over with and say what everyone, everywhere in football America is saying and/or thinking.

He's lying to you again - Clue #2...

Sorry. I know the fanboys don’t like to hear this and I will be accused of recycling thoughts from previous years (when the themes change, the thoughts will change, promise), but everybody who is remotely paying attention knows what is going to happen.

This is not an accusation - it is well established, irrrefutable fact - Clue #3...

Also note that comments to this perennial shit-stirring column are closed, which has been happening with greater frequency in the past few weeks and months - Clue #4...

...

Coach Hoodie recognizes the demon of overconfidence.

And Shank's going the other way on purpose, just to piss you off. Don't bite on it. If you'd like, you can drop him a quick e-mail and tell him to fuck off go pound sand, asshole tell him how much you appreciate his thoughts.