The Not So Optimistic Column

Funny how a game can change Shank's outlook, isn't it?

This one had the makings of a Strange finish, but instead we’re left to wonder what to make of these Patriots

Boo.

No fun.

No fun at all.

The Patriots lost to the Dolphins, 24-17, Sunday night at Gillette Stadium, a loss especially frustrating because we almost saw a dramatic comeback.

Bob Kraft’s new 22-story lighthouse is not exactly a good luck charm. The Patriots are 0-2 All Along The Watchtower. A Bill Belichick team is 0-2 for the first time in 22 years. Like the moribund Red Sox, the Patriots have secured sole possession of last place in their division.

“Not too much to say about this one,” said Belichick. “Tough loss.”

This one had the makings of one of those goofy Patriots-vs.-Dolphins finishes; like prison inmate Mark Henderson snowplowing a spot for a Patriots’ game-winning field goal in 1982; or like the hideous Miracle-in-Miami double-lateral play that crushed the Patriots in the closing seconds of a late-season game in 2018.

DHL Dan CLXXXII - The Optimistic Column

Shank had some (rare) positive thoughts before last night's Patriots / Dolphins game:

Staying optimistic that the Patriots will beat the Dolphins, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering what becomes of the Bloominati . . .

▪ I am glass-half-full on the Patriots Sunday night. I am hopping on the Channel 4 Belichick Bandwagon and going Full Rochie. Wall to wall. All is swell.

The Patriots did the impossible last week. They played a terrible first quarter. They missed a couple of late-game chances to pull out a victory. They dropped to 0-1. And yet, somehow, almost everyone walked out of Gillette Stadium feeling good about the hometown team.

If you really think about it, this makes no sense. The Patriots are 25-27 (including playoffs) with no postseason wins since Tom Brady left. Third-year quarterback Mac Jones has only one career fourth-quarter comeback win and is 0-12 when the opponent scores 25 points. The Patriots are consensus picks to finish last in the AFC East and are 3-point underdogs at home against the Fins.

So why is everyone bullish on the Patriots around here?

Loving The Loss

There's no other way to describe this latest column of Shank's - he's absolutely delighted about the Patriots' 34-33 loss to the Dolphins on Sunday.

MIAMI GARDENS, Fla. — OK, let’s just call it the worst non-playoff loss in Boston sports history.

Hyperbole?

Maybe not. I dare you to come up with anything more hideous and ghoulish than what happened to the Patriots at Hard Rock Stadium Sunday afternoon. And the consequences are likely to be enormous.

By now you have probably seen the Dolphins’ hook and ladder/double lateral a million times. You’ve seen the 69-yard touchdown scramble pass play with seven seconds left in the game. It was Ryan Tannehill to Kenny Stills to DeVante Parker to Kenyan Drake. The lasting image of the play will be that of the world’s largest defensive back — Achilles’-aching Rob Gronkowski — diving in vain as Drake bolted past him and into the end zone after time expired. The only thing missing was the trombone player from the Stanford marching band.

Talk of tomato cans, luck and everything falling the Patriots' way will start again soon, but not until Shank does a victory lap over the next couple of days, and he will be insufferable on his next Sports Hub appearance.

Didn't See This One Coming! - III

After the New England Patriots get back on track with a 38-7 win over the Miami Dolphins, Shank once again feigns support for them:

Forever the same pic.twitter.com/hybefN3exs

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 30, 2018

Since this was just posted by Shank, no one's cutting loose on him yet, so click on the tweet for the inevitable 'feedback'.