What Passes For Thoughts

Here's Shank penning a litany of cheap shots and complaints as 'thoughts' on the upcoming sports shitshow known as the 2020 baseball season:

Thoughts on what will be a brand-new baseball season in more ways than one

Baseball is back. No more Red Sox batting practice, intrasquad scrimmages, or exhibition games after Wednesday night. No more watching the last game of the 2000 World Series. No more painful replays of the Dent Game, the Buckner Game (“behind the bag!!!”), or the Grady Game.

Nope. This is the real thing. And as the Red Sox prepare for their season opener Friday night at Fenway Park against the Orioles, here are some thoughts, questions, and observations about the much-anticipated return of our national pastime:

▪ If you can stand the pain, tune into the Giants-Dodgers opener from Los Angeles Thursday night on ESPN at 10 and get your first look at Dodgers right fielder Mookie Betts.

It looks very much like Betts is going to be a Dodger for 10 or more seasons. The Red Sox’ inability to pony up for their best player will haunt them for years to come. Their party line will be the tired old “he wasn’t going to stay here anyway,” but he could have been a Red Sox player for life if they had been willing to pay for his services.

Must be nice being a professional asshole, lecturing other people on how to spend their money, and it's his putative boss to boot.

▪ Chaim Bloom has more meatball artists on this Sox staff than Mother Anna’s Italian restaurant in the North End. Righty Dylan Covey was added to the Wasdin stable Tuesday. Covey’s 7.98 ERA last year was 340th of 341 big league pitchers with at least 50 innings. Where is Andrew Cashner when you need him?

We've heard this one for a few weeks already and, like the above complaint about Mookie Betts, it will be a column staple for months, if not years to come.

▪ Can’t wait to see those first designated hitters in a National League game. I witnessed the first DHs in an American League game, at Fenway in April 1973. Ron Blomberg for the Yankees and Orlando Cepeda for the Red Sox.

Just for some perspective, the band Black Sabbath released their fifth studio album (Sabbath Bloody Sabbath) four months later.

That's enough Shank intake for this guy.