Rooting For... The Yankees?

A few times a year, Shank writes a column where he feigns interest in a non-Boston team. This time around, it's the Yankees:

Next Wednesday — on the night of the one-game, wild-card playoff between the New York Yankees and Oakland A’s — I will be a Yankee fanboy. I will watch “The Pride of the Yankees” early in the afternoon. I will scatter biographies of Billy Martin and Thurman Munson around the house and place my autographed photo of Mickey Mantle on top of the TV. I will raise a cup of java to Mr. Coffee and read Joe DiMaggio references in “The Old Man and the Sea.’’ At gametime, I will don Yankee footie pajamas. I will order pizza and when the person on the phone asks me if I want it cut into six or eight pieces, I will quote Yogi and say, “Make it six. I could never eat eight pieces.’’

Throw in a 20th century pop culture reference:

Sorry. I know that stings a little. But admit it, Sox fans. Deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want the Yankees on that Left Field Wall next weekend. Simply stated, the New England sports world is a better place if the Red Sox are playing the vaunted Bronx Bombers in the American League Division one week from today.

The Yankees this weekend are in town for a regular-season-ending three-game series, winning the opener, 11-6, and we can only hope this is a preview of the first round of the playoffs. In order for that to happen, the Yankees will have to beat the no-payroll Oakland A’s next Wednesday.

I want this. Desperately. It’s a much better story. Red Sox-Yankees in October is the ultimate baseball theater.

Tough to improve on these comments (slightly edited):

"Nah, the Shank just is hoping the yanks will beat the sox so he can rag on them. it won't be quite as good, shank thinks, if Oakland beats the sox."

"You already root for the Yankees. In 2004 the Red Sox ended forever your ability to profit, both financially and journalistically from the non-existent curse of the Bambino and so you’ve hated and rooted against the Sox ever since. You can no longer go the well of self doubt and self loathing that you possess and assume all new Englanders possess. But we don’t."

"Long time readers of our "cynical scribe" understand exactly what's going on with this column. Our ole scrivener's background is filled with covering losses after heartbreaking losses. The Ole Towne Team and the Patsies for years gave our scribe years of easy columns ridiculing both teams' bad play year after year. Then suddenly things turned around. Our scribe was shell-shocked and cannot comprehend the reality of constant winning and duck boat parades. What to do? Turn cynic. Report that every Super Bowl was lost by the other team. The Patriots were always "lucky". Very rarely mention 2004, 2007, and 2013 to Red Sox Nation. Now hope for the Yankees to win and then play the Sox and beat them. Oh, just imagine those miserable columns dripping with memories of those good ole days when the Yankees dominated the Sox. Stay strong Red Sox Nation do not be fooled by his obvious "shell" game."