To the Victorino Goes the Spoiler

In every big transaction, there is a magic moment during which a man has surrendered a treasure, and during which the man who is due to receive it has not yet done so. An alert lawyer will make that moment his own, possessing the treasure for a magic microsecond, taking a little of it, passing it on. If the man who is to receive the treasure is unused to wealth, has an inferiority complex and shapeless feelings of guilt, as most people do, the lawyer can often take as much as half the bundle, and still receive the recipient’s blubbering thanks. 

So says Leech, the professor who schools the scheming family trust lawyer Norman Mushari in Kurt Vonnegut's novel God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater.

Similarly, our boy Dan knows that in every big (or little) conversation, there is a magic moment during which a man a surrendered a thought, and during which the sportswriter can make that moment his own, possessing the thought long enough to make a controversy out of it, and eventually, a paycheck.

And that's what The CHB does today, highlighting -- though not offering any wisdom, insight, or funny jokes -- the imagined dispute between Red Sox outfielders Shane Victorino and Mookie Betts, and the real (and senseless) opportunism by his radio facsimilies Michael Felger and Tony Massarotti, who are trying to make something out of nothing.

And why would a guy with nothing to add to the situation even bother reporting on it? A spring training where the focus is on baseball simply isn't good enough for Shank the Spoiler.