On This Day In Baseball History

Good thing Shank's around to remind us of all the positive things that have happened with the Red Sox.

Oh, wait!

Forty one years ago tonight . . . Game 7 . . . Reds, Red Sox. Bill Lee and the eephus pitch. Jim Burton . . . Ouch

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 22, 2016

Shank Tries His Hand In Politics

Disagree with a liberal? You must be unhinged!

Always disappointing when performers u like turn out to be politically . . . Unhinged? #Jameswoods

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 20, 2016

You Should Talk About Arrogance

Looks like something set off 'Ol Danny Boy today:

Patriot fans have amazing arrogance given that they have won one of the last 11 Super Bowls and that was given to them by Pete Carroll

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 20, 2016

And the Red Sox winning the World Series in 2013 was a fluke. Some people are just born miserable, negative assholes.

Twitter users cut loose:

@Dan_Shaughnessy I'm a Denver fan & can't believe the bullshit you are tweeting. Pats are one of the best NFL organizations in my lifetime

— Damon Pettit (@DamonPettit) October 20, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Shaughnessy has amazing arrogance that he thinks we still read him

— Matt (@maddcapp45) October 20, 2016

It's a thankless task, but someone's gotta do it!

@Dan_Shaughnessy NFL success should never be defined exclusively by winning SBs. Always being in SB contention for 15 yrs. is unprecedented

— Eugene Frenette(@GeneFrenette) October 20, 2016

Don't confuse Shank with the facts - he's got an organization to denigrate!

@Dan_Shaughnessy didn't you put the Patriots in the Super Bowl after week 3 or 4?

— BederowLaw (@Bederowlaw) October 20, 2016

"See you in Houston" from four days ago - confirmed!

@Dan_Shaughnessy wow Dan if you go back just 1 more year it's 2 in 12, then 3 in 13 then 4 in 15.

— C Feeney (@cfeeney12) October 20, 2016

Right - he has this convenient / bad habit of arranging the numbers to suit his agenda.

Go read the rest of the thread if you want more Shank bashing.

Piss Off, Shank - DHL Dan - LIX

If I were Tom Brady, that's what I'd tell Shank, who called Brady a cheater just three months ago. That's how he leads off this latest installment of the Picked Up Pieces column.

Picked-up pieces while waiting for the next David Ortiz celebration at Fenway Park . . .

■ I miss Channel 7’s Dan Hausle in Foxborough. There were no Donald Trump questions for Tom Brady on Wednesday. It was all about football. Swell. But Brady did himself no favors last week by walking out of a press conference after he was asked to comment on “locker room talk.’’

Hundreds of athletes have answered the question in the last two weeks. The locker room is a professional athlete’s workplace, and it’s no political statement for an athlete to define his understanding of “locker room talk.’’

It’s OK to say that talking about sexual assault talk is not part of your locker-room culture. LeBron James wasn’t afraid to say it. Even Troy Brown said he’d like to have heard something from Brady on the topic.

At this point in his career, I'm surprised Tom talks to the media at all. I sure as hell wouldn't.

Number Four, Bobby Orr

Shank, as he tends to do with every fifth column or so, takes a look back in time and notes Bobby Orr's first game with the Boston Bruins:

There’s a Gretzky Camp and a Gordie Howe Camp, but around these parts, there has never been any doubt that Bobby Orr is the greatest hockey player who ever lived.

There’s no way to prove it, of course. It’s a subjective sports argument, which is part of what makes it fun. But for those of us who grew up around Boston and saw Orr play, there can never be any doubt. The rest of you can check the videotape, talk to folks who played with or against him, and maybe take a gander at that statue of a flying Bobby after the Mother’s Day goal in 1970.

I raise this topic today not because the young Bruins of 2016 are playing their home opener at the New Garden Thursday night, but because this week marks the 50th anniversary of Orr’s first game with the Bruins at the Old Garden in 1966.

Fifty years. The golden anniversary for the Golden Child. How can it be that a half-century has passed since the night we first saw the crew-cut teen-ager from Parry Sound, Ontario?

To be fair to Shank, this column did look like it took some level of effort; it's not the usual piece of crap he churns out on a routine basis.

Trolling 301

I'm getting the impression Scott Zolak doesn't like Shank:

Roethlisberger has surgery today. So once again, we are assured Pats have no tests before playoffs. #TomatoCans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 17, 2016

Stay home tomorrow https://t.co/nWuWQtNmPn

— Scott Zolak (@scottzolak) October 17, 2016

He Says This Every Year

Sound familiar?

Tomato Can Update: Go ahead, name the 2nd-best team in the AFC.
Pats facing easiest path to SB ever. Competition a joke.
See U in Houston

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 16, 2016

Reader reaction is as you'd expect:

@Dan_Shaughnessy I honestly don't get your motivation for tweets like this? To jab Pats fans? To discredit the Patriots wins? To be witty?

— Joe Costa (@joepcosta) October 16, 2016

Pretty sure it's not the latter reason...

@Dan_Shaughnessy
Original take as usual, Shank.

Yawn.

— FBombah(@FBombah) October 16, 2016

Precisely.

@Dan_Shaughnessy I hate this Dan-It's tired & old storyline. Also easy & intellectually dishonest to sum up Pats success with this argument.

— Jay (@jayjonsnow) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy "tomatocan" still isntfunny or clever

— THE Jonny Con Carne (@MrJonnyConCarne) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy eat.sleep.troll.repeat.

— Robbie (@RobbieGourmet) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy @Gary_Tanguay same thing every year Dan........does any reporter actually make an effort anymore?

— sjazz23 (@SteveJasinski) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy what do you get out of this lame weekly take?

— harry legend (@harrylegend33) October 16, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy they seem to have a tomato can schedule every year according to yourself. You're a loser.

— DevaughnPape(@popegnarlofdeec) October 16, 2016

At Least He Has A New Thing

Compare and contrast with Captain Coin Toss, Double Score, Tomato Cans...

Brady's new thing is to come out of the tunnel with no helmet. Did it last week in Cleveland.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 16, 2016

Hot Takes, By Dan Shaughnessy

Aren't you glad to have Shank around to discuss the implications of a freaking coin toss?

Wow. Marvin Lewis knew enough to make Pats take the ball? Stunner. Maybe Bengals have a chance? Doubt it.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 16, 2016

Hot Political Takes, By Dan Shaughnessy

Whatever that's supposed to mean...

Senator Joseph McCarthy. Look him up.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 14, 2016

The One Where Shank Lectures Red Sox Fans

First, let's shit on the 2016 Red Sox some more:

The front-running Red Sox (last nine games: eight losses, one champagne bash, five Ortiz celebrations) have slinked home for the winter, telling you that the whole staff is coming back and everything is just swell with the Local Nine. The team that scored the most runs in baseball, consensus national media darlings, got broomed by a team that didn’t have two of its best pitchers or one of its best hitters, but never mind any of that. Masters of their own hype, the Red Sox no doubt will be preseason favorites to get to the 2017 World Series. They always are . . . even though they have failed to win a playoff game in seven of the last eight Octobers.

Now that the Red Sox are out of the playoffs, you, Red Sox fans, need to jump off the bandwagon like Shank and root, root, root for someone else, like the Chicago Cubs Why's that, you ask?

If you are a Red Sox fan, the Cubs are your team the rest of the way. They are sitting on a drought of 108 years since winning their last World Series. You know what 86 years feels like. Like the Sox, the Cubs have been masters of the near-miss. They had Steve Bartman the same year the Sox had Aaron Boone. They had Leon Durham before you had Bill Buckner. They have the Billy Goat where you had the Bambino. They had the black cat before you had Bucky Dent.

They have Theo Epstein, the Brookline-born architect of the 2004 Red Sox. Theo has wingmen Jed Hoyer and Jason McLeod, the same guys who helped build the Red Sox when they were kids. The Cubs have grandpa catcher David Ross, who was one of the spiritual leaders of the 2013 Red Sox. They have John Lackey, who hated Boston, but pitched his butt off and won the final game of the 2013 World Series.

You guys remember Theo Epstein, right? The guy Shank tried running out of town one year after winning that World Series at the behest of Larry Lucchino?

Let's start with Theo being a ''baseball guy" while Larry is a lawyer with a lofty title (CEO). Granted, Epstein is a student of the game, but it's a mistake to say he knows more about baseball than Lucchino or anyone else in the Red Sox baseball operation. Theo is 31 years old and did not play baseball past high school. He spent four years at Yale and three years at law school. That hardly leaves time for much more than rotisserie league scouting. He can read the data and has a horde of trusty, like-minded minions, but we're not talking about a lifetime of beating the bushes and scouting prospects. Lucchino was a good high school baseball player and made it to the NCAA Final Four with Princeton's basketball team. He came to baseball as an executive in 1979, when Theo was 5 years old. That doesn't make him George Digby or Ray Boone, but he's not Les Otten, either.

Lucchino-bashers, and they are legion, maintain that he repeatedly has undermined Theo and on occasion killed deals made by Epstein and the minions. There was one, for sure. When Theo's assistant Josh Byrnes (hired by Arizona as GM Friday) made a deal with Colorado, Epstein thought he had a better deal with another club and requested that Lucchino fall on the sword and invoke the ownership approval clause to kill the Rockies deal. Accustomed to people hating him, Lucchino took the fall, killing the deal and saving Epstein.

It was charged last week that Sox management conducted a ''smear campaign" against Epstein. How? Where's the campaign? It was correctly reported that Theo turned down a three-year deal at $1.2 million per year. That's a smear campaign? There have been no quotes from Sox management on the negotiations. Lucchino and Epstein called me together at home Friday night but said they could say nothing about Theo's contract talks because they had not spoken with other outlets. So much for the Globe's ''home-court advantage" (the Globe's parent company, The New York Times Company, owns 17 percent of the Red Sox). So much for the cartel. In fact, Epstein's minions probably have done more talking about Theo's situation than anyone in Sox management. When postseason baseball visited Chicago, at least one nationally known Lucchino-hating Epstein source was trashing the Sox CEO to anyone who'd listen.

Question for Shank - is it still a mistake to say he knows more about baseball than Lucchino or anyone else in the Red Sox baseball operation?

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Shank often lacks self-awareness, or awareness in general:

@Dan_Shaughnessy that would be like the Boston Globe helping the Clinton campain against Bernie....oh wait.

— Yianni P. (@Yianni124) October 12, 2016

And Now For More Dan Shaughnessy Bashing

Somehow I missed this little gem from last week, involving formerly butthurt Cavaliers and Indians fans:

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy wrote a piece last year that will forever remain in Clevelanders' memories.

Headlined "In long-suffering Cleveland, Cavaliers offer a ray of hope," he sounded like he was on Cleveland's team. However, the truth came out in the second paragraph when he judged the Cleveland Cavaliers staff for dropping confetti after the team beat the Boston Celtics in the opening game of the 2015 NBA Playoffs.

Shaughnessy did not stop there. He continued to rub salt in the wounds, reminding sports fans of the championship drought, urban decline and "The Decision." Those things were interspersed between a peppering of negative adjectives to describe the city.

Fast forward to October 2016: the Cavaliers are the world champions, a successful Republican National Convention came and went, and the Cleveland Indians are the AL Central champions for the first time in nine years.

The Indians face the Boston Red Sox in the first round of the MLB Playoffs, so there is a decent chance that Shaughnessy will be gracing Cleveland with his presence once again.

Cleveland.com welcomes you back with open arms, Dan.

Ah, the day Cleveland got Shanked! Well, they got the last laugh for now. Congratulations, Cleveland!

Happy 62nd, Bruce!

I've been amiss (remiss?) at congratulating the DSW's resident asshole (and former Boston Globe employee) Bruce Mo** in recent years on his continuing march towards cashing in those vaunted Social Security cheques, so Happy Belated Birthday, Brucie!

Tax policy - really? Gee, let me think really long and hard where a former lifelong Globie comes down on 'tax policy'...

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - XLII

This will shock exactly no one:

Staff at The Boston Globe worked with Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign to maximize her “presence” during her primary race against Sen. Bernie Sanders, new emails show.

The exchange is one of thousands from the inbox of Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta leaked by the online hacktivist group WikiLeaks over the past week.

Bruce Mo** - still think the Globe has any credibility left?

Asshole Radio

Shank's doing Shank things this morning:

On now until noon with @ZoandBertrand. Crushing the Red Sox. Soft fans no doubt happy with Papi, but that was embarrassing.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 11, 2016

The Obligatory Shit On The Sox Column

I'm willing to bet he was writing this column in the fourth inning.

The fall of the 2016 Red Sox is complete. The Sox were the feel-good story of our summer, but it seems that it all went away when they held their division-clinching toga party in the Bronx after an embarrassing 5-3 walkoff loss at Yankee Stadium Sept. 28.

Since this is Shank, someone needs to be blamed and run out of town. Any guesses?

The Red Sox rightfully won the American League East, sweeping through Baltimore and Tampa, winning 11 straight games during the most critical stretch of September. And then everything stopped. A day after clinching, manager John Farrell “rested” Dustin Pedroia and Mookie Betts and pulled David Ortiz after a couple of at-bats, triggering a losing pattern that carried straight through the playoffs. The Sox lost their way during an interminable series of heartfelt sendoffs for David Ortiz and had nothing left when the championship tournament started last week.
...
The ignominious sweep no doubt will crank up the “Fire Farrell” bandwagon that rolled across New England for much of the spring and summer.

A paragraph later, Shank has a moment of clarity:

It’s certainly not Farrell’s fault that Rick Porcello and David Price spit the bit in their starts in Cleveland. It’s not Farrell’s fault that the Sox — who led the majors with 878 runs — scored seven runs in three games and hit .214 in this series. A team that went 20-24 in one-run games during the regular season lost two more one-run games in the playoffs.

Back On The Bandwagon

Dear Tom:

Remember when I called you a cheater?

We're good now, right?

Sincerely,

Your Pal Shank

CLEVELAND — More than a year and a half later — after “11 out of 12 balls” lost pressure, Mona Lisa Vito, the Wells Report In Context, Jimmy “Hotfingers” McNally, Fanboy Judge Berman, the Ideal Gas Law, Defending The Wall, and Free Tom Brady — the Patriots finally put Deflategate behind them Sunday at FirstEnergy Stadium on the banks of Lake Erie.

Brady returned from his football Alcatraz (a sentence served alternately at the Big House in Ann Arbor and sunbathing nude in Capri), torching the poor, pitiful Cleveland Browns, 33-13, in front of thousands of road trippers with Boston accents on an absolutely perfect football Sunday. Brady completed 28 of 40 passes for a Ted Williams-esque 406 yards, completed three touchdown passes to Martellus Bennett, and was not intercepted.

Ted Williams? Seriously? What a jerk.

He Can't Understand the Price

The CHB, Oct. 13, 2008: "I'm pretty sure we have not seen the last of Tampa's kid lefthander, David Price. The top pick in the nation (Vanderbilt) in 2007, the 6-foot-6-inch, 23-year-old flamethrower could emerge as the ultimate weapon in this series, and a potential Rays World Series. He picked up the win in Saturday/Sunday's epic, freezing Mark Kotsay on a hellacious two-strike pitch and retiring Coco Crisp on a grounder."

The CHB today: "Reggie Jackson was Mr. October. David Price is Mr. August." 

Yet again, Dan "Can't Do Math" Shaughnessy proves worthless as an analyst. You'd think a white guy from Groton with a kid who attacks cops would know a thing or two about small sample sizes. But no...


For his career in the ALCS, Mr. October hit .227 with 6 homers in 45 games. Sample size.

In his first 27 playoff games, Barry Bonds hit one homer and batted under .250. He then hit 8 bombs in his next 17 playoff games. Sample size. 

Want more evidence? The CHB, Oct. 14, 2008: "[David] Ortiz is 0 for 10 in the series and has not hit a homer in his last 14 postseason games. He has gotten away from using the whole field and appears to be trying to pull everything."

The five years later Oct. 31, 2013: "After Pedroia went out on a grounder to third, Wacha intentionally walked World Series MVP David Ortiz (.688). Good move."

Who Is He Kidding?

Missed this beauty from last night:

Not to be negative, but as it stands now, Sox potential Gm 5 starter is Porcello (0-3, 6.10 career PS) or Price (2-7, 5.12 career PS).

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 7, 2016