Are The Tanks Rolling In?

After yesterday's brutal loss to the New York Giants, Shank's starting to wonder whether this is bad luck or New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick tanking the team:

Are the Patriots tanking? Bill Belichick is wired to win, but this hideous loss makes us wonder

Tank!

Tank!

Tank!

When is the last time a Patriots field goal kicker missed a 35-yard chip shot that would have sent a game into overtime?

It happened Sunday in the Meadowlands when rookie Chad Ryland hooked a 3-foot putt with three seconds remaining in a 10-7 loss to the Giants (a game that should have been flexed to April).

Wow. We haven’t seen a muffed kick like this since Baltimore’s Billy Cundiff’s 32-yard bunny sailed wide left in the 2011 AFC Championship game, delivering the once-great Patriots to yet another Super Bowl.

Was Ryland under orders to miss? Any chance the Pats, now 2-9, did not want to win to stay in position for a top-three pick in the 2024 NFL Draft?

DHL Dan CXCII - Talking To The Youk

Shank catches up with the former Red Sox player:

In a difficult time, Kevin Youkilis speaks out for unity and positivity, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if we’re going to see Tim Tebow or Michael Bishop playing quarterback for the Patriots Sunday …

▪ Kevin Youkilis gave the Red Sox 8½ quality seasons. He made three All-Star teams, won a Gold Glove and two World Series, and finished in the top six in MVP voting twice — ranking third in 2008 when he hit .312 with 29 homers and 115 RBIs. He is in the Red Sox Hall of Fame, owns a brewery in California, is married to Tom Brady’s sister, has three children, and spends summertime with Dave O’Brien in the NESN booth.

Oh, and he also is Jewish, which is unusual for a big league baseball player. Just more than 200 of the 23,115 men who have worn big league uniforms are/were Jewish. Youkilis never made much of it when he was playing here, and a lot of us thought he was Greek because “Moneyball” dubbed him “the Greek God of Walks.”

It's Quiz Time!

Shank does a columnin the tradition of 'dumping out the sports drawer' and he came up with an interesting local sports quiz:

If I used these old Boston sports references, would you know what I mean?

I can’t prove it, but think it all started in the 1980s when Billy Crystal (remember him?) was doing stand-up and told a joke about his young daughter asking him, “Daddy, did you know Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?”

This is the challenge for the aging newspaper columnist.

Wait. Did I say “newspaper”?

I mean, how can we assume anyone on our digital platform knows what a newspaper is? Many of them have never handled one. It breaks my heart today when I walk into local television newsrooms and there is no newspaper to be found.

...

Try this: Here are 17 notes, quotes, names, sites, and numbers unique to the 20th century Boston sports experience. How many require an explanation?

1. “Six, two, and even.”

2. Ben Dreith.

3. “Too late!”

4. “We’ll win more than we lose.”

5. Rene Rancourt.

6. 13,909.

7. “Mercy.”

8. .406.

9. “Curly-haired boyfriend.”

10. Sherm Feller.

11. McFilthy and McNasty.

12. Margo Adams.

13. The Iron Horse.

14. The Can’s Film Festival.

15. The Victory Tour.

16. “Pumped and jacked.”

17. Eliot Lounge.

Answers:

DHL Dan CXCI - To Tank Or Not To Tank?

There's been plenty of talk about whether the New England Patriots should start tanking games in order to get a higher draft pick, but Shank says that's not how head coach Bill Belichick rolls:

It’s not in Bill Belichick’s interest to tank this season, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Bob Kraft brought the Costanza Gore-Tex coat back from Germany …

▪ Let’s talk tanking, shall we? It’s bye week for the 2-8 Patriots, and if the 2024 NFL Draft were held today, they would have the No. 3 overall pick, trailing only the 1-8 Panthers and the 2-8 Giants.

It looks as if the Patriots need another quarterback, and top prospects include Southern Cal’s Caleb Williams, North Carolina’s Drake Maye, Washington’s Michael Penix, Oregon’s Bo Nix, and Michigan’s J.J. McCarthy.

Would Bill Belichick tank to secure any of these guys?

No.

Forget about the notion of Belichick playing to lose (although we did wonder when there was nobody back to receive that punt in Germany last weekend). It is antithetical to everything Bill believes. He coaches to win the game.

A Question You Don't Expect From Shank

The New England Patriots' record currently stands at 2-8. For the past quarter century Shank would've been blowtorching this team from every angle - players, coach, ownership, even the concession stands; all of it was on the table and more.

Is this Shank version 2.0 or something?

Aren’t we being a little too rough on Mac Jones around here?

Forgive me for not piling on this time, but I kind of feel sorry for Mac Jones.

Seriously.

Why the vitriol? Why the exaggeration? Why the demonization of this 25-year-old quarterback?

It’s not as though Mac invented a cryptocurrency scheme and stole everybody’s money. He hasn’t said that New England foliage is overrated, or that he hates Dunkin’ Donuts. He hasn’t complained about his contract, doesn’t appear to be juicing, and never tried to embarrass Dennis Eckersley in front of his teammates.

He hasn’t stomped on the Pat Patriot logo or burned sage around the Gillette Stadium sideline.

He hasn’t even complained about the Green Line. Not once.

Jones seems to be doing the best he can. And it hasn’t been great of late. It’s been pretty terrible. A Boston.com headline Monday read, “Mac Jones’s performance was the worst in Patriots history.” On Bostonglobe.com, the headline was “Mac Jones’s performance was the worst I have seen by a Patriots quarterback.”

Read on for a bit of revisionist history, which tends to reveal what Shank's doing here (and - also after Shank listening to Felger & Mazz say the same thing for the better part of four hours yesterday):

That’s the kind of coaching malpractice that has turned Jones into a puddle in his third pro season after being the 15th overall pick of the 2021 draft. The nadir came Sunday when Jones — clearly afraid to throw the ball in the red zone after getting taken to the woodshed by offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien — missed a wide-open Mike Gesicki in the end zone with a short, soft toss that landed in the arms of Colts defensive back Julian Blackmon.

'Coaching malpractice' will translate into 'it was Belichick's fault' in the upcoming months.

DHL Dan CXC - Checking In With Marv Levy

Shank talks to the legendary Buffalo Bills coach and naturally compares his last coaching days to Bill Belichick's:

Marv Levy can relate to Bill Belichick’s situation, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if the player-control, payroll-flexibility Red Sox will finally make a splash to show fans they are back in the business of winning …

▪ Marv Levy knows how Bill Belichick feels. Buffalo’s Hall of Fame coach worked for a veteran loyal owner (Ralph Wilson), took the Bills to four straight Super Bowls, stayed on the sideline until he was 72, then stepped down after going 6-10 in 1997.

Today Levy is 98, sharper than anybody running for president, and wistful about his final days as an NFL head coach.

“After the good run we’d had, we’d fallen back a bit and I just felt it was time,” Levy said from his Chicago home this past week. “Ralph tried to talk me out of it. He didn’t want me to retire.

“But after going to those four Super Bowls, we began to regress. We were bouncing back, but I just felt the time had come to go on vacation in Palm Springs and stuff like that. A year or two later, I regretted it and wanted to come back.”

Belichick and his Patriots are playing the Colts in Germany Sunday. A 3,600-mile trip across the ocean is a good thing for New England’s 71-year-old coach at this hour. The Patriots are 2-7 and some fans are leaning on Bob Kraft to make a coaching change. The unthinkable has suddenly become a real possibility.

And Shank's already got that column half written, doesn't he?

Perfect Record

Here's Shank's semi-annual local sports story:

Watertown and coach Eileen Donahue have basically perfected the sport of field hockey

There is perfection.

And then there is Watertown field hockey. Which is something more.

Eileen Donahue’s Raiders play Dennis-Yarmouth in a Division 3 quarterfinal game at aptly named Victory Field Saturday at 11 a.m.

Watertown is seeking a third straight state title. And things look pretty good for the Raiders. They are 19-0 and have scored 128 goals while allowing zero.

That’s right. Folks around the team estimate that Watertown goalie Ava Husson has stopped only about 10 shots this season. Husson could study for the SATs while guarding the net. The ball is almost never down at her end of the field.

Talk Talk

Shank has an interesting take on new Red Sox general manager Craig Breslow's opening press conference:

New Red Sox chief baseball officer Craig Breslow sure can talk a good game

“It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.”

— Winston Churchill describing Russia

Craig Breslow, the Red Sox’ new chief baseball officer, is in Arizona this week at the General Managers Meetings. This will be his first chance for face-to-face meetings with his counterparts from other big league teams. Hope the Sox don’t need to provide an interpreter (they have one for Masataka Yoshida, why not Breslow?). Breslow’s language can be a little … lofty.

Perhaps you were busy working or having an early lunch when the Sox introduced Breslow at Fenway Park last week.

His kickoff press conference was a doozy. The guy is … wicked smaaaart. Good Will Hunting Smart. Oppenheimer Smart. He had me scratching my head and reaching for a thesaurus. There were moments that reminded me of when the Scarecrow gets his diploma in “The Wizard of Oz,” and instantly says, “The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.”

When Breslow was asked about maybe hiring a general manager/lieutenant, he answered, “I think over time, the right profile, the right thought partner will avail itself.”

Wow. Thought partner? Sounds like Gwyneth Paltrow talking about her marital breakup as “conscious uncoupling” instead of plain old “divorced.”

Breslow’s cerebral speaking style had me longing for olden days of straight-talking sports — back when an assistant GM was a back-slappin’ drinking buddy rather than a “thought partner.”

I hear shit like that and think 'That's nice- you graduated from Buzzword College!' Color me skeptical.

DHL Dan CLXXXIX - Leaving The Stage

In this week's version of the Picked Up Pieces column, Shank pretends to feel sorry for New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, in the midst of a losing season:

It’s getting tough to watch Bill Belichick go through this, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Bob Kraft plans to trade Bill Belichick to the Commanders at halftime Sunday …

▪ Red Auerbach had it right. He retired from the bench after winning his eighth straight championship, his ninth in 10 years, in 1966. Red was 48 years old. He settled into a better life as a cigar-smoking, deal-making, opponent-baiting general manager, building two more Celtics dynasties on the way out the door. His legacy has never been challenged.

Belichick? Not so much. A long time ago, he said he didn’t want to end up like Buffalo’s Marv Levy, coaching into his 70s. Today Belichick is 71 years old, has the worst team in the AFC, and is 4-11 in his last 15 games — 27-32 since Tom Brady left.

And he’s taking heat from every corner of Patriot Nation.

Has Belichick simply stayed too long? Has the NFL game passed him by? Should Bill have walked away when Brady went to Tampa four years ago?

The death of Bobby Knight Wednesday brought some of this to mind. It got me to thinking about Knight’s final days at Indiana.

I was thinking this column would be another semi-hatchet job by one of the Boston Globe's finest butchers, but the recent passing of The General, unfortunately, brings another interesting parallel to the question - how long is too long to stick around?

Lame World Series?

That's what Shank thinks, at least with the Arizona Diamondbacks and Texas Rangers in this World Series:

This World Series threatens to take apathy toward baseball to an even lower level

If a World Series falls in the Arizona desert … does it make a sound?

I love October baseball. I love the World Series. In October of 1962, I was the kid speeding home from school on my red Rollfast to catch the early innings of Yankees vs. Giants on our black-and-white Zenith. That Fall Classic featured Mickey Mantle vs. Willie Mays, Whitey Ford vs. Willie McCovey, Juan Marichal vs. Yogi Berra. The final out of a 1-0, Game 7 Yankee win was immortalized in a “Peanuts” cartoon when Charles Schulz had Charlie Brown asking, “Why couldn’t McCovey have hit the ball just three feet higher?”

I can tell you the winners and losers of every World Series from 2022 going back to 1953. Sometimes when jogging, I do this in my head as a kind of weird memory exercise. I have a couple of friends (Bob Ryan is one), who can recite every World Series matchup going back to the first one in 1903 when the Boston Americans beat the Pittsburgh Pirates without the help of a single analytics employee.

There’s nothing original about “death of baseball” sports columns. I wrote one from Houston last year, and that was a pretty good Series. Baseball’s October narrative is no longer followed by most American sports fans. In 2023, football is king. Television is king. Baseball is a quaint pastime from ancient days of transistor radios and a weekly Sporting News in the mailbox.

But the 2023 World Series threatens to take MLB apathy to an even lower level because the two contestants have almost zero star power and play in markets with little hardball tradition.

Also - add in the fact that the first three games were competing with various other sports happening at the same time - Celtics, Bruins, and of course the NFL last night, which is what I was watching instead of last night's Game 3. With Game 4 tonight you won't see these other teams / games crowding out this game, but Shank's not optimistic about this World Series in its entirety setting the world on fire.

DHL Dan CLXXXVIII - Fingerprints

The Boston Red Sox finally hired a general manager (or whatever his title's going to be) who was by my count the 12th pick in that draft:

Theo Epstein’s fingerprints are all over the Craig Breslow hire, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering how Craig Breslow feels about his former Yale teammate Ron DeSantis …

▪ Perhaps the best news about Breslow is that Theo Epstein’s fingerprints are all over this important Red Sox hire.

Theo is the one who first brought Breslow to the Red Sox in 2006. Breslow pitched in 88 games at Pawtucket over two seasons and got into 13 with the Sox before Epstein let him go on waivers during spring training 2008. Breslow returned in 2012 and was part of the 2013 World Series winners.

While Breslow continued his 12-year big league career, Theo moved on to Chicago, enhancing his Hall of Fame résumé by winning another curse-busting World Series with the Cubs in 2016. All the while, Theo never forgot about his fellow Yale prodigy.

Funny how Shank has newfound respect for Theo Epstein; that was definitely not the case back in 2005, AKA the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column, the original link which is now 404'd on the original Boston.com website. That story's conveniently buried like a turncoat mobster associate in the end zone of Giants Stadium.

Carry That Weight

Shank talks to Celtics head basketball guy Brad Stevens and the expectations for the upcoming season:

Brad Stevens is fine with the pressure of being a favorite: ‘The weight of expectations is a good thing’

Brad Stevens is 47 now and the Celtics are his team, the way they were Red Auerbach’s team in the golden days, and the way they were Danny Ainge’s team the last time they won an NBA championship in 2008.

Since the Celtics lost Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals May 29, Stevens has traded Marcus Smart, Robert Williams III, and Malcolm Brogdon, and said goodbye to Grant Williams while acquiring 7-foot-3-inch Kristaps Porzingis and All-Star Jrue Holiday to join veteran superstars Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown.

Those big, bold moves — coupled with the sagging fortunes of New England’s once-vaunted Patriots and Red Sox — have pushed Green Team expectations through the banner-festooned Garden roof on the eve of this new NBA season.

What do you say, Brad? Can you live with the championship-or-failure mentality that blankets the region at this critical hour?

“I know what’s coming,” says the ever-flatline president of Celtic basketball operations. “The weight of expectations is a good thing. The responsibility of putting on a Celtic uniform is part of it here. It’s something we’re more excited about than not. I’d rather people think we’re really good heading into a season. That means we’ve got some good things going.”

So now that massive expectations are out there, how many losses will it take before Shank starts ragging on the team?

The Picks Are In

The Boston Globe sportswriters make their predictions for the upcoming Boston Celtics' season. While there's additional detail about regular season records and each playoff series, Shank says Celtics win in seven over the Lakers. Gary Washburn and Chad finn also say the Celtics will win it all but Adam Himmelsbach says they lose to the Denver Nuggets in six games. It should be an interesting season.

Palace Intrigue

It was reported yesterday that New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick signed a new contract or a contract extension this past offseason. Shank smells a rat:

A reported new contract for Bill Belichick raises questions: Who planted it, and why was it leaked now?

Hours before the Patriots beat the Bills in a 29-25, last-minute thriller at Gillette Stadium, Ian Rapoport of the NFL Network reported that (according to “sources”), New England’s ownership signed Bill Belichick to a “lucrative multi-year new contract’' during the offseason.

Say what?

Media folks and fans never know anything about Belichick’s contract status. Within the walls of Fort Foxborough, Bill’s deal is guarded like the nuclear codes. A gameday thunderclap about his new contract predictably triggered rampant speculation regarding the timing and motivation of this news.

Which camp dropped the dime? Belichick’s or Bob Kraft’s?

At first glance, this news bomb seemed to be a Belichick plant. Why would ownership want this out there in the storm of a 1-5 start with Bill taking fire from every corner of the NFL universe?

More at the link and it's interesting reading of you're into contract stuff like this one.

DHL Dan CLXXXVII - Lost Season?

Before yesterday's Patriots win over the Buffalo Bills, Shank was throwing dirt on the 2023 New England Patriots:

The Patriots are on to 2024, with Bill Belichick the Lion in Winter, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while returning a call from the Red Sox to inform them I have no interest in replacing Chaim Bloom …

“We’re on to Buffalo.”

“We’re on to Cincinnati.”

Actually, as we sit here waiting for Game 7 of the 2023 Patriots season, “We’re on to 2024.”

Just a month and a half into the ‘23 NFL docket, the Patriots are already playing for next year. They have reached a critical mass.

Who would have thought it would ever come to this? After two decades of mocking assorted Jets, Bills, and Dolphins, our once-proud New England Patriots have become the Tomato Cans. While Detroit sits atop the NFC with a 5-1 record, here in New England we have become the Lions.

While the likelihood of a losing season's there, the 1995 Patriots started 1-5 as well and wound up 6-10. The slate of remaining opponents leaves some reason for optimism, emphasis on some.

Radioactive Job

Shank has some fun with the Red Sox' search for a new general manager:

The Red Sox seem to be hearing, ‘No thanks,’ from a lot of prospective candidates

According to well-sourced, hard-working baseball scribes, Mike Hazen (D-Backs), Amiel Sawdaye (D-Backs), Brandon Gomes (Dodgers), Sam Fuld (Phillies), Derek Falvey (Twins), Michael Hill (Marlins), Jon Daniels (Rays, Rangers), Raquel Ferreira (Red Sox), and James Click (Blue Jays, Astros) are among those not interested in becoming the next head of baseball operations for the Boston Red Sox.

It makes one think that maybe this job’s not as great as the Sox think it is.

In this spirit, I’ve done a little recon of my own and discovered things are actually worse than they appear.

It turns out that the list of those not interested in replacing Chaim Bloom is quite a bit longer.

Representative George Santos also said no to the Sox. As did Matt Patricia, Mike Lindell, Ime Udoka, Adam Gase, J.T. Watkins, Jimmy “Hotfingers” McNally, Keyser Soze, Sam Bankman-Fried, Ed Davis, Judge Richard Berman, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, plus Peter Gammons.

Read on for more snark & wiseassery from someone who's clearly enjoying this.

DHL Dan CLXXXVI - Shank Wants Answers

With the 2023 New England Patriots off to a truly horrible start this season, Shank finally piles on the team and especially owner Robert Kraft (of course):

It would be nice if Patriots fans could hear from Bob Kraft, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if the Patriots will resort to “Barbie Night” at Gillette before this season is over …

▪ It’s time we heard from Bob Kraft regarding the sad state of the Patriots. Is Bill Belichick Patriot King for Life?

There’s rampant speculation regarding Belichick’s status in Foxborough. Same with quarterback Mac Jones.

What about the owner? How much of this is his fault? Could he have stepped in and kept Tom Brady? Can he abandon Foxborough’s “value first” philosophy and spend more on player payroll? Kraft apologized to fans at the end of last season and pledged that things would improve. So where is he now?

Shank conveniently omits recent statements such as this one in order to attempt to make Robert Kraft look like Mr. Magoo, but that would defeat the premise of his column.

The Priesthood

Here's an interesting column by Shank:

The Celtics draft pick who chose the priesthood over the NBA

WORCESTER — Earle Markey was Holy Cross’s basketball captain after Bob Cousy, before Tommy Heinsohn. He was a 1,000-point-scoring guard and an honorable mention Associated Press All-American. In his final game with the Crusaders, he battled future NBA legend Bob Pettit, scoring 16 points in an 81-73 Elite Eight loss in the NCAA Tournament.

A few weeks after that game, Markey was selected by Celtics general manager/coach Red Auerbach in the fourth round of the 1953 NBA draft.

But he never gave pro ball a shot.

Instead, Markey became a Jesuit priest.

“I didn’t have knowledge of whether Earle wanted to just save the team or save the world,” Cousy said this week from his Worcester home. “But he was clearly impacted by the Jesuit experience at Holy Cross.”

DHL Dan CLXXXV - The Next Red Sox GM

Shank's gonna get a lot of columns out of this situation, isn't he?

This Red Sox job comes with some curious conditions, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while thinking that this might not be the best time for the Red Sox to be raising ticket prices …

Given the confusion, indecision, and inverted manner in which the Red Sox’ search for a new chief baseball officer is unfolding, here’s a clip-and-save “help wanted ad” detailing what is required to land the job, and what is expected of the new CBO.

SEEKING

CHIEF BASEBALL OFFICER FOR ICONIC

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FRANCHISE

General requirements and duties:

Highly motivated candidate with strong inerpersonal skills, collaborative team skills, and ability to deal with ambiguity.

Candidate will report to team’s principal owner, team chairman, and team president/CEO. Candidate will be expected to provide public explanation for team decisions.

Let's cut to the chase:

...

Question: Exactly what is this new baseball boss supposed to do now that the last-place Sox seem to have everything set?

“If you want to run a baseball organization, this is where you want to be,” said Kennedy. “You want to be in Boston. Why? Because it matters here more than anywhere else. So if you’re not up for that challenge, thanks but no thanks.”

Wow. Everybody’s already in place. You don’t get to spend like the Sox spent in the old days. You have a gaggle of potential second-guessers already in place. But you will take all the blame while ownership is busy broadening the Fenway Sports Group portfolio.

Who wouldn’t want to come here?

Shank's Golden Anniversary

I suppose 'golden' is a relative term:

Unpacking 50 years worth of memories from covering the sports scene

Boston sports.

So many stories. Sometimes all at once.

The Globe keeps track of stories you like to read. There’s a “most read on BostonGlobe.com” feature on our digital site. On Sunday and Monday, there were times when nine of the 10 most-read Globe articles were sports-related.

Wednesday, Oct. 4, marks the 50th anniversary of my first Boston Globe byline. It was a feature filed from Worcester (not sure how — dictation? US Mail? carrier pigeon?) in which I wrote about a Holy Cross receiver who was prepping for a game at Dartmouth. My little HC football story was not one of the 10 “most read” that day, but it was a big moment for a 20-year-old college junior who grew up reading Ray Fitzgerald, Clif Keane, Bud Collins, and Will McDonough.

Everything is quantifiable in 2023, and with this golden anniversary approaching, I reached out to the Globe library to see if they could tell me how many bylines followed that first one. Jerry in our library replied almost immediately and reported there have been 9,197 Shaughnessy stories since ‘73. That’s a lot of tomato cans.