The Dustin Pedroia Retirement Column

Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia finally calls it a career. Since Shank is generally incapable of anything resembling a respectful retirement-type ending when it comes to a local athlete signing off, he wisely turns it over to two guys who know him best, Theo Epstein and Curt Schilling Tito Francoa:

Two guys who know him well have the highest praise for Dustin Pedroia

Theo Epstein and Terry Francona are busy guys with important jobs, not always eager to talk about their Red Sox years, which were important but did not end well.

Just a friendly reminder - Shank was uniquely instrumental in the former's departure from the Red Sox with the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column. How Shank got Tito Francoa to co-write his book with him after that bullshit will forever be a mystery on par with Jimmy Hoffa's true burial site.

Both responded immediately when I reached out Monday regarding the retirement of Dustin Pedroia.

“It’s a combination of sadness and real appreciation,” Epstein said of a player he drafted in the second round out of Arizona State in 2004. “It’s tough to see someone like him, whose heart would allow him to accomplish anything he wanted, not go out on his own terms.

“But at the same time, it gives everyone an opportunity to think back at everything he accomplished and everything he meant to the Red Sox and how this entire era wouldn’t have been possible without him.

Probably for the best to let them do the talking for Shank, who could not help himself over the years and took some juvenile potshots at Pedroia because of his height. To my recollection, today is the first time he ever put that into its proper context and not made it sound like the juvenile potshot it otherwise is.

There's No Promotion

...like self-promotion - check out this retweet by Shank, complete with a picture of his latest book and a trendoid hipster beer, natch:

Checked another book off the summer reading list tonight with @Dan_Shaughnessy’s Francona book.

Best read of the year so far. Always rooting for Tito when he’s not facing the Sox. pic.twitter.com/mkVakTic3W

— Miles McQuiggan (@MilesMcQuiggan) July 23, 2019

News You Can Use

Or - since he's not Cleveland's general manager, what else do you think he'd be doing right about now?

Tito is in his Fenway office playing cribbage as deadline nears.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 31, 2017

Something Shank Can Relate To

We know Shank's heard this a shitload of times as well:

Tito on mananging in Philly and Boston: "There were a lot of times I thought my name was "You suck" because that's all I ever heard''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 1, 2016

As expected, feedback was positive and constructive:

@Dan_Shaughnessy You and Tito share something in common!

— Mash (@DirtDogs643) November 1, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy How many times is he going to say that?

— Michael Farrell (@farrell205) November 1, 2016

Do you think Shank's angling to write a follow-up book to "Francona - The Red Sox Years"? The vibe is unmistakable.

Shank On The Red Sox - Indians ALDS Series

It's well known that Shank and Tito Francona collaborated on a book, and today we get partial confirmation on just how extensive that collaboration was, so we can skip the usual Shank column filler bullshit and cut to the chase:

Francona’s never going to go public with how much it would mean for him to beat Boston. That would be like Bill Belichick or Tom Brady acknowledging that winning the Super Bowl this season would be a little more special than all the others. No. It’s far more classy and diplomatic to shower everything with sweetness and ambiguity. Leave it to the carnivorous Boston media to connect the dots. (but I repeat myself! - ed.)

OK. Will do.

Tito is still hurt by how he was treated at the end in Boston. Knocking the Red Sox out of the playoffs would be sweet revenge. This matchup is more than a professional encounter. It’s a tad personal.

Did your unending barrage of chicken and beer columns have anything to do with that? Just asking!

Francona still has fondness for a lot of people and things around Fenway Park. He has great memories of the Starbucks on Route 9 in Chestnut Hill, the Marriott at Coolidge Corner, the Red Lantern, and the powerful shower head in his cramped old office at 4 Yawkey Way. He loves Dustin Pedroia almost as much as he loves his own kids and he’s been friends with John Farrell since they were teammates in Cleveland 28 years ago. Tito was Farrell’s chemo wing man when Farrell went for his first treatment at Mass. General in the summer of 2015.

And now they’re “facing” one another in the postseason.

“I’m not going up against John,’’ said Francona. “Our players are going to decide this. I have mixed emotions. He’s one of my best friends in the whole world — outside of baseball. So it pulls at you a little bit. The way I look at it, it’s an honor to be able to compete against them. And I’m including him in that. That’s kind of how I feel.’’

Shank occasionally writes good columns. This is one of them.

UPDATE AT 10:49 PM - Typos corrected in the first and last sentences.

The One Where The CHB Perpetuates Manager Myths

The typical CHB column consists of a very simple formula:

1.  Start with a provocative (read: absurd) lede. 
2.  Give a few supporting details to flesh out the lede. 
3.  Then regurgitate the backstory, relying on as many previously written sentences and "jokes" as you can. 
4.  Take a shot at the management of whichever team you are writing on that day. 
5.  (Optional) Throw in a reference to Larry Bird.

Today's piece follows that formula to a T.

The emphasis (I don't dare say point, since there wasn't one) of the piece is on John Farrell, but as is his milquetoast way, The CHB doesn't say whether Farrell should be fired; only that it's what people are talking about. Naturally, in pursuit of his trite analysis, he leaves out a few important details.

Such as

"After everything that’s happened around here, Farrell knows he’s just one more slump away from the fate that ultimately awaits every man in the corner office at Fenway."

(False. Ralph Houk retired after the 1984 season. You'd think Mr. Curse of the Bambino would know such trivia.)

And "Grady [Little] was buried for one bad decision."

(False. Grady was buried for numerous bad decisions, not the least of which ignoring all the data the team statisticians were coming up with.)

And "How many times do you see a manager/coach fired while his team is still on a path to the playoffs?"

(Often. But under John Henry, it has not happened with the Red Sox; this ownership group has yet to fire a manager mid-season.)

And "Terry Francona's not walking through that door."

(Good. Tito had peaked. It was time for him to go. He had lost control of the clubhouse. Or perhaps The CHB doesn't remember the whole "beer and chicken" fiasco, which would be strange, since he wrote about it endlessly. Still, you'd think The CHB would remember writing about Torey Lovullo and how promising he was when filling in for Farrell over two months last season )

P.S. The Red Sox under Farrell won the 2013 World Series. Guess how many World Series the Indians have won under Tito. Zero. I'll take my chances with Lovullo.

Tito Lay

With the Indians and former Red Sox manager Tito Francona in town, The CHB opts for nostalgia today, for reasons unknown.

We say reasons unknown because Francona is now in his fourth season as skipper of the Indians. During that time, he has visited Fenway Park 11 times. It's old news, except to those with severe memory problems who are resigned to repeating themselves.

Just like Dan!

Speaking of memory problems, The CHB must think these are the 1976 Indians. He refers to them as a team with "no stars and no payroll":

• Cory Kluber, 2014 Cy Young Award winner, 2015 top 10 Cy Young votes; 
• Francisco Lindor, 2015 Rookie of the Year runner up; lifetime BA .317
• Michael Brantley; finished 3d in AL MVP vote in 2014; lifetime BA .292
• Danny Salazar, lifetime ERA 3.48, averages 10Ks/9 innings
• Carlos Carrasco, finished 13th in the Cy Young vote in 2015

So be it. The CHB wants to insinuate that Tito is such a great manager, the Indians on winning simply on the strength of his ability. And, he wants to needle Francona's former bosses -- John Henry, Tom Werner, et al -- for apparently no being pen pals with their ex employee. (You think The CHB keeps in touch with Arthur Sulzberger?)

And while it's true that in terms of salary the Indians are closer to the bottom of the majors than the top, when it comes to the alleged need to spend money, who is the loudest of them all?

Pass.