Dan Shaughnessy, Wrong Again

Shank jumps on Curt Schilling for being 100% right:

What a guy. He so deserves to be honored https://t.co/opO4PKmrrm

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 24, 2020

Two things - anyone faintly familiar with recent history can recall many / dozens of these fake noose hoax crimes, and that's precisely what l'affaire Bubba Wallace has turned out to be. It should be standard practice to require proof of a 'crime', unless you're a leftist trying to score points against racist redneck NASCAR fans.

Secondly, I mentioned months ago that for Curt Schilling to get into the Baseball Hall of Fame, all he has to do is lay low and not give his critics any ammunition to use against him. Aside from the fact he was right in making the Smollett 2.0 call, this is not how you lay low. It's another unforced error for Curt in my book and it's all but guaranteed Shank won't vote for him next time around, which I believe is Schilling's last chance.

Boston Globe Death Watch - VIII

Stuff like this is why Boston Red Sox owner (and for now owner of what's left of the Boston Globe 'newspaper') John Henry is so well liked around these parts:

John Henry's Baseball Team Cuts Employees' Pay by 20-30% and His Newspaper Tries to Keep That on the Down Low https://t.co/mjjdoAT3Zh

— Jerry Thornton (@jerrythornton1) June 1, 2020

Well, it's because they have to. That'll change once some of these shitheads get axed and are thus then free to dish on the guy, which will be amusing as all get out.

Like He Really Cares

Shank's trying to bullshit us again:

A year ago at this time, all we cared about was the Bruins’ shot at the Stanley Cup

Remember the last weekend in May of 2019? One year ago? It felt like the only thing that mattered was Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals, featuring the St. Louis Blues and your Boston Bruins in a packed TD Garden on Causeway Street.

Here on the Globe sports pages, we had you covered from crease to crease and everywhere in between. We talked to Bobby Orr about his memories of playing the the Blues in the Finals way back in 1970. Orr spoke of the old days, then went out of his way to defend 42-year-old defenseman Zdeno Chara, who was getting some criticism on local sports radio.

"I've been hearing a lot of crap recently about Z,'' said Orr, who rarely says anything controversial. "Are you kidding me?''

In that same Sunday sports section, we had a lengthy profile of Chara written by Christopher L. Gasper (whatever happened to that guy?). We had a nifty account of a Red Sox loss to the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park. The story was accompanied by a photo of Red Sox manager Alex Cora making a mound visit to talk things over with Sox lefty David Price (whatever happened to those two guys?). The Red Sox were 27-25, still claiming that it wasn’t a mistake to shut down all of their starters throughout spring training.

Yes, indeed - lots of Bruins coverage at the Boston Globe. Shank cared so much about the Bruins / Blues Stanley Cup finals he didn't write a column about the series until the Bruins lost in Game 2, three days after Shank's purported interest in the series. For the record, Shank did columns for the remaining games, but let's not try to rewrite history here by claiming ex post facto that he gave a shit until the Bruins lost, which is classic Shaughnessy.

I'd Rather Look Away

Remember that awful column from a few weeks ago (which one? - ed) where Shank was trying to be funny and clever? He's at it again:

There are two ways to look at the Patriots right now

The Patriot Hater and the Defender of the Wall have been friends for many, many years. They shared an apartment in Brighton after college, relying on the 57 bus, which roared through Oak Square each morning. They went on to enjoy careers in new cities after the turn of the century, but never stopped talking on the phone, and these last two decades have been filled with lively debate about the dominant and ever-controversial New England Patriots.

The Hater grew up far from New England and never liked the Patriots, but only in the new millennium did his true hatred emerge. He’s wildly jealous. He thinks the Patriots are arrogant cheaters. He keeps a framed photo of Ted Wells in his home office. And after 20 years of watching confetti rain on the heads of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, the Hater finally thinks his time has come.

Sounds like an autobiography!

The rest of the 'column' goes on about a mythical Patriots hater arguing with a mythical Patriots fan. It's unfunny schtick that's now overused to boot. Steer clear of it.

The Mothers Of Invention

News came out this week that the New England Patriots were again involved in a sideline filming controversy, this time involving the Cincinnati Bengals. Shank, clearly missing out on an opportunity to bash the team, finally jumps on the bandwagon in that fine tradition of Boston Globe fiction artists like Mike Barnicle (of 'Whitey Bulger kept the drugs out of Southie' fame), Patricia Smith and Kevin Cullen:

Where do Patriots ‘rule benders’ end up?

LOCATION UNKNOWN — Welcome to the Patriots penal colony, the place where the rule benders are stashed so they will never be heard from again.

“We call it the Jerod Mayo Zone, as in Area 51,’’ said Jimmy Hotfingers (a.k.a. “the Deflator”), as he greeted me at the door of the palatial lodge. “Don’t ask, don’t tell. Just Do Your Job and don’t say anything. Ever. That’s what we’re about. How was your trip?’’

A little disturbing, I told him. It was somewhat scary to be blindfolded and rolled into a private jet at Hanscom Field. I wasn’t in the sky that long, but I couldn’t tell if I was in upstate New York or Las Vegas. You lose your sense of time and space in the darkness. Same goes for the bumpy ride to the cabin.

Unfunny, uninteresting and complete bullshit - this is his worst column in some time, and that's saying something.

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXXII

A day that will live in infamy...

Looks like they're taking down the letters of the old @BostonGlobe today. @universalhub pic.twitter.com/PFSIRR7jyL

— Uncle Joey (@skituate) November 8, 2018

'Objective' Bruce is probably refilling his meds as we speak!

Compare And Contrast - A Continuing Series

Dan Shaughnessy, yesterday:

Try to find good baseball conversation. Spend an hour alternating between the Sports Hub and WEEI and take note of how little baseball conversation you hear.

Dan Shaughnessy, this morning:

On today with @ZoandBertrand from 11-1. Will see if I can cajole Zo into making fun of baseball. Dan's Dates, too

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 10, 2018

Is cajoling someone into 'making fun of baseball' a way to promote 'good baseball conversation'? It is not - Shank is not serious about the former comment, as it distracts from his primary summer mission - dismissing and destroying the Red Sox in any manner possible.

And Now For More Former Boston Globe Employee Bashing

Look who's whining about the cost of inflight wifi - none other than the grandfather of fake news!

Delta flight from L.A. to NYC offers in-flight Wi-Fi for $40...That makes Delta both an airline and a criminal enterprise. #stickemupinair

— Mike Barnicle (@mikebarnicle) October 27, 2017

Have you considered reading a book during the flight instead, Mr. Barnicle, say some work of fiction by a writer about how a local mobster 'kept the drugs out of Southie'?

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - L

Shank retweeted something from former Boston Globe rumpswab Mike Barnicle, the grandfather of fake news:

I have watched 5 spring training games in last 2 days. America has never needed baseball more than it needs it now!!

— Mike Barnicle(@mikebarnicle) March 6, 2017

Whatever that's supposed to mean. Barnicle also licked the ass of a well known local mobster, Whitey Bulger and falsely claimed he kept the drugs out of Southie. What a sap.

Stick To Sports

Shank's trying to make a political joke here:

Team Trump now scripting "The Departure of Michael Flynn In Context.''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 16, 2017

Readers give him the business:

@Dan_Shaughnessy Stick to what you know.....What is that again?

— Patrick McAuliffe (@nampuk11) February 16, 2017

Great question...

@Dan_Shaughnessy I like that the show Barnicleis on is attacking someone else's credibility. The Globe invented #FakeNews

— WrongBorges(@wrong_borges) February 16, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - XLIX

The Globe jumped the gun on last night's game for their early edition newspaper. Whoops!

Boston Globe early edition results in a Dewey-defeats-Truman moment https://t.co/G27p4S3yLf

— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) February 6, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - XXXV

Fake Boston Globe Headline, one year from now:

At least they admit that story was fake / parody, unlike this one where they used porn pictures in an attempt to paint U.S. soldiers as rapists of Iraqi women, then issued a half-assed apology, which was probably written by copy desk guy Bruce M***. Let's not forget Mike Barnicle and Patricia Smith while we're on the subject.

Here's another question - will the Globe even be around long enough to print that headline a year from now?