In The Hunt

With one game to go in the NFL's 2022-2023 season, Shank devotes a column to the playoff fortunes of the New England Patriots:

Sure, the Patriots are in the playoff hunt, but does anyone really think they’re a good team?

This is why the NFL is the perfect sports product.

You can have a team like the Patriots — plagued by poor coaching, inept offense, and unusual dysfunction — and still be in contention for a playoff spot with one week left in the regular season. The Patriots’ status as a contender after 16 games is a tribute to Parity Pete Rozelle, Any Given Sunday, and the illusion of contention.

Remember when the Patriots used to play mostly 'Tomato Can' teams? Those were the days!

The Patriots beat the Dolphins (and their second and third-string quarterbacks), 23-21, Sunday in New England’s final game at Gillette this season. The Patriots raised their record to 8-8 and can qualify for a playoff spot if they win at Buffalo next Sunday.

New England fans certainly can feel good about a defense that forced two more turnovers (27) and scored its seventh touchdown of the season. Mac Jones (20-of-33 passing, 203 yards, 2 touchdowns) came alive late in the game and the much-maligned Matt Patricia made a nifty call on the goal line for the game-clinching touchdown.

But seriously, friends, is there any footie-pajama-wearing Pat Patriot who actually thinks this is a good team? Neither Full Rochie nor judge Richard Berman can make a case for the Pats beating the Bills next week (unless Buffalo has cause to tank), or winning a wild-card game on the road.

Fair Weather Dan Blows Hard

The Patriots go 12-4 and win their division. So naturally, The CHB today mocks their success.

Makes sense, no?

Going into this AFC playoff matchup with the Baltimore Ravens,  The CHB seems to think the Pats should be intimidated. "For once, it’s not likely to be a matter of the Patriots just showing up and watching their opponents vomit on their own cleats."

When, exactly, does this happen? The AFC East won a collective 33 games this season. That's less than the North (38), but same as the West and eight more than the South. So how was the East any more of a cakewalk than any other division? Poor Shank: addition is hard.

No, this is The CHB's annual playoff rite: setting up the straw man so he can blow it down.

He writes about Baltimore's front seven, implying they will get to Brady, ignoring that the Patriots faced the Bills twice (no. 1 in sacks), Chiefs (no. 5) Jets twice (no. 6), Lions (no. 8) Broncos, Packers and Colts (tied for 9), and annihilated most of those teams. Only three teams allowed fewer sacks than the Pats did. Like a good fair weather fan, he's been alternating between pumping them up or writing about their demise all season.

Also today: Obligatory references to an impotent Bob Kraft; Bill Belichick deferring after the coin toss; and soup cans (weak opponents). There's nothing on football, but really, we don't have any right to expect that, do we?