Now You See Him...

The CHB goes almost all positive in this post-game (yikes!) TV spot.

Two exceptions: He basically says if the Red Sox don't win Game 6, they are toast. And he belittles Stephen Drew, saying "don't pitch to him like he's Ortiz."

David Ortiz vs. the Tigers: AB 19 H 2 BA .105 K 4 BB 2.

And what is going on with Shank's face? Yo, Dan, Don Zimmer wants his Gerbil eyes back.

Homecoming Weekend

With the Game 5 victory (4 - 3), the Red Sox return to Fenway for Game 6 and a possible Game 7 against the Detroit Tigers. Naturally, Shank thinks the series is in the bag, but not without a few trademark Shank cliches:

DETROIT — Ninety-seven wins begat a relatively easy first round against the Tampa Bay Tomato Cans, which begat five bombastic battles against the estimable-but-slowly-crumbling Detroit Tigers..

So a Tampa Bay pitching staff with David Price and Matt Moore, just to name two, is a so-called tomato can?

And now the 2013 Red Sox are coming home to win the American League pennant on the green, green grass of Fenway.

A bit presumptuous, are we?

The Sox put themselves in position to capture the flag by beating the Tigers, 4-3, in another grueling, midnight-hour carnival ride at Comerica Park on Thursday. The stunning surge, which started with Big Papi’s grand slam at Fenway on Sunday, carried over into Motown, where the Sons of David (Ortiz) won two of three thrillers. Four of the five games of this ALCS have been decided by one run.

So the Red Sox have won more close games then the Tigers, and Shank awards the AL crown to the Sox before the last two games are played?

And, after Shank nearly jumps off of it yesterday...

If you haven’t yet hopped on Boston’s Bearded Bandwagon, this might be the time.

Said without a hint of irony.

Half Off The Bandwagon?

With last night's loss to the Tigers, Shank is on the fence about whether or not to panic:

DETROIT — Glass half-full or glass half-empty?

Full — The Red Sox have the Tigers right where they want them. Wednesday night’s 7-3 loss is a mere speed bump on Boston’s unstoppable march to the World Series. The American League Championship Series is square at 2-2, and two of the final three will be played at Fenway Park. The Sox have their best three pitchers — Jon Lester, Clay Buchholz, and John Lackey — tanned, rested, and ready to go.

Empty — It’s a miracle the Sox are even in this thing. The Tigers are better and easily could have swept the first four games. The Sox have led in only four of the 36 innings. Boston’s lineup is batting an aggregate .186. The Sox produced a conga line of K’s against a quartet of Tiger starters. Detroit has Anibal Sanchez, Max Scherzer, and Justin Verlander ready for Games 5, 6, and 7. In the first three games, those three pitchers struck out 35 Red Sox in 21 innings and compiled an ERA of 0.86.

We know Dan's a glass half-empty kind of guy; whether John Henry's ownership of the Boston Globe affects his ability or willingness to print such sentiments about the Red Sox remains to be seen.

Back in Time

Oh my goodness. It's the ALCS, and against all odds the Red Sox are hosting, and what does The CHB want to rehash?

"Nomar Garciaparra ... who hated every minute of his final half-season with the John Henry Red Sox in 2004."

And here's what passes for analysis: "The Sox will need more than one hit if they want to sell authentic ALCS celebration champagne bottles before the World Series."

Thanks, Dan!