Everything Shank Isn't

Shank's former fellow sports columnist, Bob Ryan, wins an award for 'a significant contribution to sports journalism':

“I’m looking at the list of names [who’ve won the Red Smith Award], and it’s thrilling and humbling to be included among them,’’ said Ryan. “It’s everything I would ever have wanted to do in this business, to think I’d have my name associated with those people.

“There were two particular inspirations in Jim Murray and Frank Deford. And I’m thrilled to be joining a beloved colleague in Bud Collins, of course.’’

Ryan’s list of accomplishments is long. He has covered 21 NBA Finals, 29 Final Fours and 11 Olympics (six Summer, five Winter); 11 World Series and innumerable baseball playoff series; 11 Super Bowls, five BCS championship games, eight US Open championships, six British Opens, four Ryder Cups, three Masters, two PGAs, the World Basketball Championships in Toronto, Athens, Indianapolis and Tokyo and numerous major college football bowl games. He was the only person to cover the one-and-only Dream Team from the first bounce of the ball in La Jolla to the medal ceremony in Barcelona.

Shank makes a brief appearance as well:

‘’For 44 years Bob was the ultimate superstar and teammate at the Globe,’’ said his fellow Globe columnist, Dan Shaughnessy. “More than any of us, he retained his youthful passion for the games we love.

“With Bob, it was always about hyperbole. Larry Bird was the ‘absolute greatest.’ Elvin Hayes was ‘absolute worst.’ In this spirit, it is easy to look at Bob and his body of work and surmise, ‘Bob is the absolute best sportswriter of all time.’ ”

Irony's not dead yet!

Ringing with Hate for the Olympics and Ryan

Check this out: Dan Shaughnessy is right about something.

He doesn't think Boston can handle the Olympics.

And we agree.

His rationale, however, like his posture, needs work. "We already are a world-class city," The CHB writes, then proceeds to list all the reasons why Boston is NOT a world-class city: bridge repair, housing, better public schools, an improved MBTA, programs for the disenfranchised, better ways to get in and out of the city. In fact, as anyone who has traveled outside of 495 knows, it is precisely that ability to function that makes a city world class. (That, or in the case of New Orleans, the 365-day Spring Break for adults.)

What we are more curious about is what prompted the long-running lover's quarrel with Bob Ryan, the latest installment of which continues in today's papers.

Today, Ryan says he likes the World Cup. While basically the same column he wrote a couple weeks ago, this is notable because he calls out -- in his lede, no less -- the "xenophobic, American-Sports-Are-The-Only-Sports party poopers" [read: The CHB] who are "ecstatic" because the US lost.

This is a direct response to The CHB's June 23 column in which he happily claims to be done with the World Cup, , assailing the "Futbol Moonies" who call him "an aging, unhip, xenophobic, uncultured dolt." Well, who said he can't be all of that AND a soccer hater?

The ongoing catfight between Tweedledum and Tweedledee is like watching a couple of sickly vagabonds argue over a few crusts of moldy bread. There's literally nothing at stake, but you can't wait to see how it all plays out.

Ripped to Shreds

When the 800mg Tylenol capsules can't fix The CHB's alcohol-addled brain fast enough, he writes about ... nothing and calls it "Picked Up Pieces." Let's start the shredding!

"[Bob] Ryan came on board with the inimitable Peter Gammons in June of 1968 when the country was in shock over the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy."

As the New Yorker used to say, "Block that metaphor!"

"Count me as one who missed the memo that the Red Sox are allowing beer in the clubhouse on the road after games. ... Now we’re all supposed to shrug and say it’s no big deal that the beer is still there on the road?"

Yes. Because -- lo and behold -- based on their team record, alcohol (or the lack of it) apparently has had no effect on the Red Sox this season. Maybe some things in baseball come down to luck and timing after all. Who knew.

"Watch Bruce [Jenner] on Kardashian TV. The once-great Jenner is our male Joan Rivers."

So The CHB is saying he watches the Kardashians. What a shock. Probably where he gets most of his material.