DHL Dan CXCVI - Addition By Subtraction

Alternate headline - 'Chris Sale Traded Before Shank Runs Him Out Of Town':

End of Chris Sale Experience reason for Red Sox fans to pop cheap champagne

Picked up pieces while wondering if Taylor Swift is the Yoko Ono of the Chiefs . . .

In late September, Red Sox manager Alex Cora boldly named Chris Sale his Opening Day starter for 2024.

Guess not.

Craig Breslow traded Sale to Atlanta on Saturday for second base prospect Vaughn Grissom. Boston reportedly sent $17 million to Atlanta, which is on the hook for the remaining $10.5 million of the final year of Sale’s disastrous five-year contract.

Happy New Year, Sox fans. Boston’s Chris Sale Experience is officially over.

DHL Dan CXCV - (Un)Forgettable

That's the charitable way to describe this season's New England Patriots:

A legendary day is looming at the end of a forgettable Patriots season, and other thoughts

Picked up pieces while listening to Mitch Miller Christmas carols . . .

⋅ Sorry for looking ahead, but Sunday, Jan. 7, is shaping up as one of the most fascinating days in New England sports history.

The Patriots 2023 regular-season finale will be at Gillette against the Jets. There’s a strong possibility this will be the final day in the 24-year head coaching career of Bill Belichick in New England. It could also be the day the Patriots have a chance to secure the No. 1 overall pick in the 2024 draft . . . by losing to the Jets!

That’s right, the Jets. The Jets (5-9) are one of three sorry teams the 3-11 Pats actually beat this season, and they have flat-out quit, as evidenced by their 30-0 skunking in Miami last weekend. Bill hates the Jets more than I hate mushrooms. Could he allow himself to nudge this game into the loss column?

The Bitter End

That's what Shank's calling the likely last month Bill Belichick remains as the head coach of the New England Patriots:

The ending is bitter, but does it have to be like this for Bill Belichick?

There’s not a lot of dignity in these Final Days of the Belichick era.

Reporters joust hourly to declare that Bob Kraft has made his decision on Bill . . . or that Bob is still deciding. An NFL Network insider Sunday reported that the final four games of this lost season will serve as a referendum on the Kill Bill question. That seems ridiculous, but if true, Belichick seems certain to continue his quest of chasing Don Shula’s wins record (which is now feeling like the Yaz Watch) someplace other than Foxborough.

The world champion Kansas City Chiefs beat the once-great Pats, 27-17, Sunday. The moribund Patriots were competitive for a half, but ultimately fell victim to the usual hail of penalties, turnovers, and failure to convert on third down (2-12) against a superior team. New England dropped to 3-11 with three to play. The Patriots remain on course to pick second in the 2024 NFL Draft.

DHL Dan CXCIV - No Throttle

Shank voices his displeasure with his boss Red Sox ownership saying one thing and doing, well, nothing:

So far, the Red Sox’ promised ‘full throttle’ offseason hasn’t lifted off, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering how many games the Patriots would have won with Joe Flacco at quarterback all season . . .

▪ There are times when it feels like the Red Sox are just baiting us.

This is one of those times.

Team chairman Tom Werner promised “full throttle” for this offseason.

Pathetic. Thus far, the Sox have not lifted off the launch pad. While the Dodgers and Yankees behave like teams intent on spending to win championships (Shohei Ohtani, Juan Soto anyone?), the once-proud Red Sox continue to dumpster dive and insult their fans with feeble efforts to get involved for high-priced talent. The Red Sox are Kings of Interest, always making you think they are competing for top talent when they are not.

Can't say I share that sentiment, not since Mookie Betts left the team.

The Army-Navy Game

It looks like Shank took in the game live on Saturday:

New England gets a classic in its first shot hosting a classic: There’s a reason Army-Navy is America’s Game

FOXBOROUGH — Army’s 17-11 victory over Navy on Saturday was played in the home of the Patriots.

Perfect.

It was a gem. A furious late Navy drive had the Midshipmen on Army’s 2-yard line with 11 seconds to play, but Army’s rock-ribbed front held when Navy quarterback Tai Lavatai tried to pile drive into the end zone on fourth-and-goal. Lavatai was short by inches, Army took over on downs with three seconds left, and the field was soon flooded with grey-coated Cadets.

You can have Auburn-Alabama and/or Ohio State-Michigan. Or you can enjoy some “Boola Boola” and go with Harvard-Yale — nabobs call that one The Game. If you’re a New England old-timer, you may have once been fond of Boston College-Holy Cross.

No thanks to all that, sir. Sign me up for Army-Navy every time. America’s Game.

Leather helmets, anyone?

Clearly?

I think there might be a problem with one part of this headline:

Bill Belichick is clearly trying to win, so what if he is still coach of the Patriots next season?

It was like the good old days in Pittsburgh Thursday. Bill Belichick pantsed Mike Tomlin (the two longest-tenured NFL coaches) and the 3-10 Patriots snapped a five-game losing streak with a 21-18 win over the 7-6 Steelers. Bailey Zappe threw three first-half TD passes while frustrated Steelers fans showered their team with mock cheers and begged Tomlin to insert his third-string quarterback.

“Had a lot of guys really come through in a game that we needed,” Belichick said after the win. “We had our moments . . . obviously very good defense . . . We played competitively against them.”

No tanking in this one. The moribund Pats beat a team that’s trying to make the playoffs.

All of which got me to thinking . . . what if Belichick is still head coach of the Patriots next season?

First off, if you have three wins at this point in the season, it's not entirely clear you're trying to win. Second - Shank might have a point with that last sentence. What if the Patriots go on a winning run and Robert Kraft gets cold feet about firing Belichick? Are there things in Belichick's contract which would make firing him a problem? We'll find out next month.

DHL Dan CXCIII - The Bill Belichick Interview

Shank games out a potential (likely?) sceanario at the end of the season for the New England Patriots:

Imagine if you will a Bill Belichick job interview, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while predicting a Patriots win over the Chargers Sunday …

▪ The notion of Bill Belichick coaching another team next season has taken on great steam in recent weeks. After last weekend’s awful loss in the Meadowlands, when Bill was asked about a report that he’s already made a decision regarding his next destination, the coach scoffed and said, “Yeah, that’s ridiculous.”

When a followup question was asked about whether Bill could envision himself coaching anywhere else, the Hoodie said, “Just trying to do the best job I can right now. Obviously, I need to do better.”

Just for fun, let’s fast-forward to Black Monday, Jan. 8, when Bob Kraft announces an “amicable parting of the ways” between the Patriots and their head coach of 24 years. Now imagine Bill going around the country for a series of job interviews with owners of various Panthers, Chargers, Titans, and Commanders.

Whether or not an actual Bill Belichick interview went down in this manner, it'd be interesting to be a fly on the wall in one of them.

Are The Tanks Rolling In?

After yesterday's brutal loss to the New York Giants, Shank's starting to wonder whether this is bad luck or New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick tanking the team:

Are the Patriots tanking? Bill Belichick is wired to win, but this hideous loss makes us wonder

Tank!

Tank!

Tank!

When is the last time a Patriots field goal kicker missed a 35-yard chip shot that would have sent a game into overtime?

It happened Sunday in the Meadowlands when rookie Chad Ryland hooked a 3-foot putt with three seconds remaining in a 10-7 loss to the Giants (a game that should have been flexed to April).

Wow. We haven’t seen a muffed kick like this since Baltimore’s Billy Cundiff’s 32-yard bunny sailed wide left in the 2011 AFC Championship game, delivering the once-great Patriots to yet another Super Bowl.

Was Ryland under orders to miss? Any chance the Pats, now 2-9, did not want to win to stay in position for a top-three pick in the 2024 NFL Draft?

DHL Dan CXCII - Talking To The Youk

Shank catches up with the former Red Sox player:

In a difficult time, Kevin Youkilis speaks out for unity and positivity, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if we’re going to see Tim Tebow or Michael Bishop playing quarterback for the Patriots Sunday …

▪ Kevin Youkilis gave the Red Sox 8½ quality seasons. He made three All-Star teams, won a Gold Glove and two World Series, and finished in the top six in MVP voting twice — ranking third in 2008 when he hit .312 with 29 homers and 115 RBIs. He is in the Red Sox Hall of Fame, owns a brewery in California, is married to Tom Brady’s sister, has three children, and spends summertime with Dave O’Brien in the NESN booth.

Oh, and he also is Jewish, which is unusual for a big league baseball player. Just more than 200 of the 23,115 men who have worn big league uniforms are/were Jewish. Youkilis never made much of it when he was playing here, and a lot of us thought he was Greek because “Moneyball” dubbed him “the Greek God of Walks.”

It's Quiz Time!

Shank does a columnin the tradition of 'dumping out the sports drawer' and he came up with an interesting local sports quiz:

If I used these old Boston sports references, would you know what I mean?

I can’t prove it, but think it all started in the 1980s when Billy Crystal (remember him?) was doing stand-up and told a joke about his young daughter asking him, “Daddy, did you know Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?”

This is the challenge for the aging newspaper columnist.

Wait. Did I say “newspaper”?

I mean, how can we assume anyone on our digital platform knows what a newspaper is? Many of them have never handled one. It breaks my heart today when I walk into local television newsrooms and there is no newspaper to be found.

...

Try this: Here are 17 notes, quotes, names, sites, and numbers unique to the 20th century Boston sports experience. How many require an explanation?

1. “Six, two, and even.”

2. Ben Dreith.

3. “Too late!”

4. “We’ll win more than we lose.”

5. Rene Rancourt.

6. 13,909.

7. “Mercy.”

8. .406.

9. “Curly-haired boyfriend.”

10. Sherm Feller.

11. McFilthy and McNasty.

12. Margo Adams.

13. The Iron Horse.

14. The Can’s Film Festival.

15. The Victory Tour.

16. “Pumped and jacked.”

17. Eliot Lounge.

Answers:

DHL Dan CXCI - To Tank Or Not To Tank?

There's been plenty of talk about whether the New England Patriots should start tanking games in order to get a higher draft pick, but Shank says that's not how head coach Bill Belichick rolls:

It’s not in Bill Belichick’s interest to tank this season, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Bob Kraft brought the Costanza Gore-Tex coat back from Germany …

▪ Let’s talk tanking, shall we? It’s bye week for the 2-8 Patriots, and if the 2024 NFL Draft were held today, they would have the No. 3 overall pick, trailing only the 1-8 Panthers and the 2-8 Giants.

It looks as if the Patriots need another quarterback, and top prospects include Southern Cal’s Caleb Williams, North Carolina’s Drake Maye, Washington’s Michael Penix, Oregon’s Bo Nix, and Michigan’s J.J. McCarthy.

Would Bill Belichick tank to secure any of these guys?

No.

Forget about the notion of Belichick playing to lose (although we did wonder when there was nobody back to receive that punt in Germany last weekend). It is antithetical to everything Bill believes. He coaches to win the game.

A Question You Don't Expect From Shank

The New England Patriots' record currently stands at 2-8. For the past quarter century Shank would've been blowtorching this team from every angle - players, coach, ownership, even the concession stands; all of it was on the table and more.

Is this Shank version 2.0 or something?

Aren’t we being a little too rough on Mac Jones around here?

Forgive me for not piling on this time, but I kind of feel sorry for Mac Jones.

Seriously.

Why the vitriol? Why the exaggeration? Why the demonization of this 25-year-old quarterback?

It’s not as though Mac invented a cryptocurrency scheme and stole everybody’s money. He hasn’t said that New England foliage is overrated, or that he hates Dunkin’ Donuts. He hasn’t complained about his contract, doesn’t appear to be juicing, and never tried to embarrass Dennis Eckersley in front of his teammates.

He hasn’t stomped on the Pat Patriot logo or burned sage around the Gillette Stadium sideline.

He hasn’t even complained about the Green Line. Not once.

Jones seems to be doing the best he can. And it hasn’t been great of late. It’s been pretty terrible. A Boston.com headline Monday read, “Mac Jones’s performance was the worst in Patriots history.” On Bostonglobe.com, the headline was “Mac Jones’s performance was the worst I have seen by a Patriots quarterback.”

Read on for a bit of revisionist history, which tends to reveal what Shank's doing here (and - also after Shank listening to Felger & Mazz say the same thing for the better part of four hours yesterday):

That’s the kind of coaching malpractice that has turned Jones into a puddle in his third pro season after being the 15th overall pick of the 2021 draft. The nadir came Sunday when Jones — clearly afraid to throw the ball in the red zone after getting taken to the woodshed by offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien — missed a wide-open Mike Gesicki in the end zone with a short, soft toss that landed in the arms of Colts defensive back Julian Blackmon.

'Coaching malpractice' will translate into 'it was Belichick's fault' in the upcoming months.

DHL Dan CXC - Checking In With Marv Levy

Shank talks to the legendary Buffalo Bills coach and naturally compares his last coaching days to Bill Belichick's:

Marv Levy can relate to Bill Belichick’s situation, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if the player-control, payroll-flexibility Red Sox will finally make a splash to show fans they are back in the business of winning …

▪ Marv Levy knows how Bill Belichick feels. Buffalo’s Hall of Fame coach worked for a veteran loyal owner (Ralph Wilson), took the Bills to four straight Super Bowls, stayed on the sideline until he was 72, then stepped down after going 6-10 in 1997.

Today Levy is 98, sharper than anybody running for president, and wistful about his final days as an NFL head coach.

“After the good run we’d had, we’d fallen back a bit and I just felt it was time,” Levy said from his Chicago home this past week. “Ralph tried to talk me out of it. He didn’t want me to retire.

“But after going to those four Super Bowls, we began to regress. We were bouncing back, but I just felt the time had come to go on vacation in Palm Springs and stuff like that. A year or two later, I regretted it and wanted to come back.”

Belichick and his Patriots are playing the Colts in Germany Sunday. A 3,600-mile trip across the ocean is a good thing for New England’s 71-year-old coach at this hour. The Patriots are 2-7 and some fans are leaning on Bob Kraft to make a coaching change. The unthinkable has suddenly become a real possibility.

And Shank's already got that column half written, doesn't he?

Perfect Record

Here's Shank's semi-annual local sports story:

Watertown and coach Eileen Donahue have basically perfected the sport of field hockey

There is perfection.

And then there is Watertown field hockey. Which is something more.

Eileen Donahue’s Raiders play Dennis-Yarmouth in a Division 3 quarterfinal game at aptly named Victory Field Saturday at 11 a.m.

Watertown is seeking a third straight state title. And things look pretty good for the Raiders. They are 19-0 and have scored 128 goals while allowing zero.

That’s right. Folks around the team estimate that Watertown goalie Ava Husson has stopped only about 10 shots this season. Husson could study for the SATs while guarding the net. The ball is almost never down at her end of the field.

Talk Talk

Shank has an interesting take on new Red Sox general manager Craig Breslow's opening press conference:

New Red Sox chief baseball officer Craig Breslow sure can talk a good game

“It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.”

— Winston Churchill describing Russia

Craig Breslow, the Red Sox’ new chief baseball officer, is in Arizona this week at the General Managers Meetings. This will be his first chance for face-to-face meetings with his counterparts from other big league teams. Hope the Sox don’t need to provide an interpreter (they have one for Masataka Yoshida, why not Breslow?). Breslow’s language can be a little … lofty.

Perhaps you were busy working or having an early lunch when the Sox introduced Breslow at Fenway Park last week.

His kickoff press conference was a doozy. The guy is … wicked smaaaart. Good Will Hunting Smart. Oppenheimer Smart. He had me scratching my head and reaching for a thesaurus. There were moments that reminded me of when the Scarecrow gets his diploma in “The Wizard of Oz,” and instantly says, “The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.”

When Breslow was asked about maybe hiring a general manager/lieutenant, he answered, “I think over time, the right profile, the right thought partner will avail itself.”

Wow. Thought partner? Sounds like Gwyneth Paltrow talking about her marital breakup as “conscious uncoupling” instead of plain old “divorced.”

Breslow’s cerebral speaking style had me longing for olden days of straight-talking sports — back when an assistant GM was a back-slappin’ drinking buddy rather than a “thought partner.”

I hear shit like that and think 'That's nice- you graduated from Buzzword College!' Color me skeptical.

DHL Dan CLXXXIX - Leaving The Stage

In this week's version of the Picked Up Pieces column, Shank pretends to feel sorry for New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, in the midst of a losing season:

It’s getting tough to watch Bill Belichick go through this, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Bob Kraft plans to trade Bill Belichick to the Commanders at halftime Sunday …

▪ Red Auerbach had it right. He retired from the bench after winning his eighth straight championship, his ninth in 10 years, in 1966. Red was 48 years old. He settled into a better life as a cigar-smoking, deal-making, opponent-baiting general manager, building two more Celtics dynasties on the way out the door. His legacy has never been challenged.

Belichick? Not so much. A long time ago, he said he didn’t want to end up like Buffalo’s Marv Levy, coaching into his 70s. Today Belichick is 71 years old, has the worst team in the AFC, and is 4-11 in his last 15 games — 27-32 since Tom Brady left.

And he’s taking heat from every corner of Patriot Nation.

Has Belichick simply stayed too long? Has the NFL game passed him by? Should Bill have walked away when Brady went to Tampa four years ago?

The death of Bobby Knight Wednesday brought some of this to mind. It got me to thinking about Knight’s final days at Indiana.

I was thinking this column would be another semi-hatchet job by one of the Boston Globe's finest butchers, but the recent passing of The General, unfortunately, brings another interesting parallel to the question - how long is too long to stick around?

Lame World Series?

That's what Shank thinks, at least with the Arizona Diamondbacks and Texas Rangers in this World Series:

This World Series threatens to take apathy toward baseball to an even lower level

If a World Series falls in the Arizona desert … does it make a sound?

I love October baseball. I love the World Series. In October of 1962, I was the kid speeding home from school on my red Rollfast to catch the early innings of Yankees vs. Giants on our black-and-white Zenith. That Fall Classic featured Mickey Mantle vs. Willie Mays, Whitey Ford vs. Willie McCovey, Juan Marichal vs. Yogi Berra. The final out of a 1-0, Game 7 Yankee win was immortalized in a “Peanuts” cartoon when Charles Schulz had Charlie Brown asking, “Why couldn’t McCovey have hit the ball just three feet higher?”

I can tell you the winners and losers of every World Series from 2022 going back to 1953. Sometimes when jogging, I do this in my head as a kind of weird memory exercise. I have a couple of friends (Bob Ryan is one), who can recite every World Series matchup going back to the first one in 1903 when the Boston Americans beat the Pittsburgh Pirates without the help of a single analytics employee.

There’s nothing original about “death of baseball” sports columns. I wrote one from Houston last year, and that was a pretty good Series. Baseball’s October narrative is no longer followed by most American sports fans. In 2023, football is king. Television is king. Baseball is a quaint pastime from ancient days of transistor radios and a weekly Sporting News in the mailbox.

But the 2023 World Series threatens to take MLB apathy to an even lower level because the two contestants have almost zero star power and play in markets with little hardball tradition.

Also - add in the fact that the first three games were competing with various other sports happening at the same time - Celtics, Bruins, and of course the NFL last night, which is what I was watching instead of last night's Game 3. With Game 4 tonight you won't see these other teams / games crowding out this game, but Shank's not optimistic about this World Series in its entirety setting the world on fire.

DHL Dan CLXXXVIII - Fingerprints

The Boston Red Sox finally hired a general manager (or whatever his title's going to be) who was by my count the 12th pick in that draft:

Theo Epstein’s fingerprints are all over the Craig Breslow hire, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering how Craig Breslow feels about his former Yale teammate Ron DeSantis …

▪ Perhaps the best news about Breslow is that Theo Epstein’s fingerprints are all over this important Red Sox hire.

Theo is the one who first brought Breslow to the Red Sox in 2006. Breslow pitched in 88 games at Pawtucket over two seasons and got into 13 with the Sox before Epstein let him go on waivers during spring training 2008. Breslow returned in 2012 and was part of the 2013 World Series winners.

While Breslow continued his 12-year big league career, Theo moved on to Chicago, enhancing his Hall of Fame résumé by winning another curse-busting World Series with the Cubs in 2016. All the while, Theo never forgot about his fellow Yale prodigy.

Funny how Shank has newfound respect for Theo Epstein; that was definitely not the case back in 2005, AKA the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column, the original link which is now 404'd on the original Boston.com website. That story's conveniently buried like a turncoat mobster associate in the end zone of Giants Stadium.

Carry That Weight

Shank talks to Celtics head basketball guy Brad Stevens and the expectations for the upcoming season:

Brad Stevens is fine with the pressure of being a favorite: ‘The weight of expectations is a good thing’

Brad Stevens is 47 now and the Celtics are his team, the way they were Red Auerbach’s team in the golden days, and the way they were Danny Ainge’s team the last time they won an NBA championship in 2008.

Since the Celtics lost Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals May 29, Stevens has traded Marcus Smart, Robert Williams III, and Malcolm Brogdon, and said goodbye to Grant Williams while acquiring 7-foot-3-inch Kristaps Porzingis and All-Star Jrue Holiday to join veteran superstars Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown.

Those big, bold moves — coupled with the sagging fortunes of New England’s once-vaunted Patriots and Red Sox — have pushed Green Team expectations through the banner-festooned Garden roof on the eve of this new NBA season.

What do you say, Brad? Can you live with the championship-or-failure mentality that blankets the region at this critical hour?

“I know what’s coming,” says the ever-flatline president of Celtic basketball operations. “The weight of expectations is a good thing. The responsibility of putting on a Celtic uniform is part of it here. It’s something we’re more excited about than not. I’d rather people think we’re really good heading into a season. That means we’ve got some good things going.”

So now that massive expectations are out there, how many losses will it take before Shank starts ragging on the team?

The Picks Are In

The Boston Globe sportswriters make their predictions for the upcoming Boston Celtics' season. While there's additional detail about regular season records and each playoff series, Shank says Celtics win in seven over the Lakers. Gary Washburn and Chad finn also say the Celtics will win it all but Adam Himmelsbach says they lose to the Denver Nuggets in six games. It should be an interesting season.