Off The David Price Bandwagon?

Unable to rag on the Boston Red Sox for their most recent performance, Shank throws us a changeup. He has shown a strange affinity for Red Sox pitcher David Price over the past three years. It appears the shine's been taken off of that show as of the past, um, couple of Fortnites!

NEW YORK — David Price gets the ball Sunday night in New York against the Yankees.

This should be good.

Assuming Price actually makes it to the mound, it’s the most pressure-packed regular-season start of Price’s tumultuous 2½-year stint in Boston. And he owes it all to himself. Price seems to enjoy putting a bull’s-eye on his own back — an odd trait for a guy who has demonstrated aversion to pressure-packed moments. For those who haven’t heard, the much-decorated, wildly-talented Price is 0-8 with a 5.74 ERA in nine postseason starts.

Skip forward to the most recent festivities:

Roll the tape back to April 11 when Price made his only start of the year against the Bombers. He took the ball on a 42-degree night at Fenway, gave up four runs in the first inning, then came out of the game due to numbness in his pitching hand. The Sox wound up losing, 10-7. Six days later, Price took his regular turn and beat the Angels.

Then came the first “big” series in New York and the beginning of Price’s 2018 foolishness (his 2017 follies crescendoed when he verbally ambushed Dennis Eckersley on a team charter, then refused to apologize). Price was slated to pitch the second game of the first trip to the Bronx in early May. The day before Price’s scheduled start, Alex Cora casually mentioned that Price had been sent back to Boston due to more numbness in his pitching hand.

A day later, Price was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome and the Sox lost his start, 9-6. This was the day we learned that Price loves playing the online video game “Fortnite” even more than he hates Boston. After a 48-hour news cycle of speculation and medical opinion regarding the possibility that Price was hurting because of his video-game addiction, the pitcher agreed to stop playing “Fortnite” in the clubhouse.

The casual observer might ask the question - has Shank been sincere in the many previous columns where he praised / practically slobbered over price, or has this all been part of a more elaborate scheme, designed to take the mother of all craps on the goofy southpaw when the time is right?

In the 3½ fortnights since then, Price is 7-1 with a 2.72 ERA in nine starts. He gave up only three runs in the one loss. He has been dominant. He has been the pitcher the Sox thought they were buying back in the fall of 2015.

Coinciding with this success, Price has invented a sarcastic/martyr persona, perfectly demonstrating his searing hatred for the Boston Baseball Experience.

Like he needs more of a reason than 'Dan Shaughnessy' to justify that hatred.

Almost Back On The Bandwagon

Shank's pretending to like the Red Sox again, albeit with a few caveats:

NEW YORK — Things did not get off to a swell start for your Boston Red Sox in the first game of their showdown series with the Yankees on Friday.

New York’s Baby Bombers rained four homers on the heads of the Sox en route to an 8-1 victory that vaulted the Yankees back into first place (mere percentage points; it is a virtual tie) in a division race that is shaping up as one of the greatest chases in the history of the sport.

There's a brief showing of halfwit cleverness:

There is no shortage of hype for this midseason meeting — the rumble in the asphalt jungle of The Bronx. The folks from Fox will telecast the Saturday night game across the land — hello Chris Sale — and then we’ll get ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball with A-Rod and Jess Mendoza, as David Price returns to the Apple for the first time in more than 3½ fortnights.

Fortnite? Get it? I thought Shank liked Price - what gives?

Throw in a Shankism or two:

The Sox, who came into the series with a 55-27 record, presumably spent the first four innings of Friday’s loss asking one another, “Why aren’t we ahead, 9-1 yet? Is this supposed to be competitive? Why can’t we go back to playing the Angels and Orioles every day?’’

It’s always weird when the Tomato Can is in your own kitchen.

New York jumped to a 1-0 lead in the second when rookie flash Gleyber Torres smoked a leadoff triple off the center-field wall. Spiderman Jackie Bradley Jr. almost made another spectacular catch, then narrowly missed nailing Torres with a heat-seeking throw to third. A price was paid when Miguel Andujar dumped the next pitch into a no-man’s zone in shallow right-center. The ball plopped on the grass in the middle of four Sox defenders and one couldn’t help but think that Dustin Pedroia might have had a chance. Eduardo Nunez? Not so much.

Shank conveniently forgets / omits that the infield was pulled in because Torres was at third base. No one was getting that ball. He's just being dishonest in order to criticize the Sox infield / be an asshole.

Far be it from me to critique any personnel moves by the Sox, but Pearce has effectively replaced Hanley Ramirez in the Sox offense, right?

He's going to harp on that one for the rest of the season, isn't he?

And to top it all of, we have, ladies and gentleman, a Larry Bird sighting!

The roof fell in on Rodriguez in the fourth when Andujar and Greg Bird (wearing No. 33, which is not an homage to Larry)

No need to read further, folks...

Tweet Of The Week

In a semi-related development (via Kirk Minihane):

@kirkmin Oh good, just what Boston needs, a liberal media watchdog. @AlexReimer1

— BestofBSMW(@BestofBSMW) June 26, 2018

I Have At Least One Suspect

Am I off base suggesting Shank here, despite his faux outrage at the Red Sox for releasing him?

I am starting a new media column. It is very cleverly titled.

This week, I look at how Hanley Ramirez’s name has been recklessly dragged through the mud. https://t.co/x4YL8H2cIb

— Alex Reimer (@AlexReimer1) June 26, 2018

You Can't Please Everybody

Well, we sure know one man who you can't please:

Red Sox now lead angels 40-6 in 4 1/2 games this year. This is American League in 2018. Wasted time. Bring on yanks or stros.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 28, 2018

Followers let him have it, from all corners:

Tougher for you to write negative columns this year? Good.

— Steve Tannuzzo(@SteveTannuzzo) June 28, 2018

So....are you saying that instead of the NFL having an abundance of Tomato Cans, MLB is replete with Cans of Corn???

— Kevin M Flanagan (@KevinMFlanagan) June 28, 2018

It’s bad for baseball, just like UConn women’s basketball blowout wins are bad for women’s hoops?

— David Bilmes(@dbilmes) June 28, 2018

Serious question: do you enjoy anything?

— Prince Priceless (@pfunk3000) June 28, 2018

Not strong at math. Angels- 1+0+2+2 = 5 #RedSox - 10+9+8+9+6 = 42. Didn’t take that much work to figure that out.

— Marc Calnan(@MarcCalnan) June 28, 2018

Dan Shaughnessy - Wrong Again

It looks like Shank's more than eager retweet of 'bad news for Hanley Ramirez' on Friday (see previous post) was way off the mark:

After reports on Friday stated that former Red Sox infielder and current free agent Hanley Ramirez was “being eyed in connection with an ongoing federal and state investigation” that involved distribution of the opioid fentanyl, a new report from the Boston Globe says that Ramirez is not being linked to any drug ring. Ramirez’s name only came up with the investigation because a so-called friend tried to pin a box in his car with two kilograms of fentanyl on Ramirez when he was stopped by police.

Better luck next time...

Is This Why Shank Wanted The Sox To Keep Him?

Pure speculation on my part...

#HanleyRamirez, former @RedSox infielder, has some.. well, issues. Being eyed in connection with an ongoing federal and state investigation. Stay tuned.

— Michele McPhee (@MicheleMcPhee) June 22, 2018

All the better to keep taking shots at the Sox, right, Shanko?

So, Off The Jackie Bradley Jr. Bandwagon?

Is it just me or does Shank love to complain about nearly everything?

Jackie Bradley is now at .178.
Mendoza Line looking like .400.
But he has to play because, you know, if he didn't make that great throw in the 8th Tuesday the Sox would have lost, 7-2 instead of 6-2.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 21, 2018

Reader response was somewhat predictable:

You’ve been underperforming for years and the Globe still trots you out. #potcallingkettle

— Gordon Comstock (@keeptheasp) June 21, 2018

Peak CHB and I love it!

— Rogue (@BigCatBax) June 21, 2018

Love Bradley Jr...best outfielder I've ever seen (and I saw Paul Blair AND Griffey Jr.)...but he's got to hit at least .240 or so...

— Michael J. Noonan (@noons2004) June 21, 2018

Does anyone else root for him to get out every time?

— Yehuda Kovitz(@Yehuda_kovitz12) June 21, 2018

So far, it just seems to be Shank!

Mission Accomplished

Here's Britt McHenry, getting under Shank's skin:

Offending American liberals , children, and all print workers in a single missive. Well done, Britt https://t.co/opmgEWXtPk

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 21, 2018

There Goes The Bruins Neighborhood

Full disclosure - I cannot fucking stand Jack Edwards. I find him forced, way over the top most of the time and his use of the same fucking phrases over and over and fucking over nauseates me to no end ('saucer pass, D to D, over the spoked B, off the half boards and the shot's into the protective netting'). Like 'netting' just might imply 'protective', you fucking braying jackass! If I watch a Bruins game, it's either with the TV sound off or I tune 98.5 The Sports Hub and listen to their audio instead.

Now that that's off my chest, I have some really bad news for those of you who hate Edwards as much as I do:

Report: Jack Edwards signs contract extension to keep calling Bruins games https://t.co/PM8sMJg1Lw pic.twitter.com/0cKrIrKx5d

— WEEI (@WEEI) June 21, 2018

Naturally, Shank likes the move:

This is good. Love Jack Edwards https://t.co/ElBhbtCMHO

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 21, 2018

Late To The Party

Shank slaps together a few belated Father's Day stories:

I’m a tad late to the Father’s Day celebrations and commemorations, but after Alex Cora’s heartfelt dugout moment talking about his late father Sunday (Nick Cafardo captured it beautifully in his column), I wanted to cite a few of the dads who’ve impacted sports figures in our region through the years.

■ Next time you’re watching Steve Burton deliver Red Sox highlights on Channel 4, keep this story in mind.

Steve is the proud dad of four Division 1 college varsity athletes. He’s also one of five siblings, including three brothers who played football at Northwestern. Steve played at Northwestern, but his path to the Big Ten was unconventional. Steve’s dad, the late Ron Burton Sr., was an original Patriot running back in 1960 and dedicated his post-football days to helping underprivileged youngsters from the inner city.

And Now For Some Boston Globe Employee Bashing - VI

That would be Boston Globe employee Kevin Cullen, a lying bastard trying to take advantage of a tragedy to put one over on us:

The Boston Globe said Friday that it will suspend columnist Kevin Cullen without pay for three months after an examination of his work found significant problems in a series of radio interviews and some public remarks he made in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombings in 2013.

When he returns, Cullen will work as a general assignment reporter for the first two months before returning to his role as a columnist, Globe publisher John W. Henry and editor Brian McGrory wrote in a statement. Cullen will be barred from outside broadcast interviews for the first six months after his return, and subsequent appearances will be given heightened editorial scrutiny.

The Boston Globe, carrying on in that fine tradition of news and opinion fabrication, designed to sway and influence you in order to tell you what to think.

DHL Dan LXX - Off The David Price Bandwagon?

Talk about speculation! We're nearly two whole weeks away from this matchup, but that doesn't prevent Shank from casting doubt about one particular game:

David Price has come up big but we need to see him vs. Yankees, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Tom Brady will jump up on the couch — Tom Cruise style — when we see his interview with Oprah . . .

Give him credit - this is a 21st century pop culture reference!

■ Let the record show that the much-maligned David Price won the two biggest games of the Red Sox season thus far. After the Sox lost the first two games of a four-game series against the Houston Astros two weeks ago, Price stopped the bleeding, winning a duel against Justin Verlander. Thursday night, when we were beginning to think the Sox can only beat the Orioles, Price beat Felix Hernandez and the first-place Mariners, 2-1. He’s 6-0 with a 2.64 ERA in his last seven starts, and the Sox have won all seven games. He has not lost since the carpal tunnel syndrome nonsense in New York. The Sox next play the Yankees in New York the weekend of June 29-July 1. We need to see Price in that series. My math (such as it is! - ed.) has him lined up for the series finale. It will be unfortunate if the Sox maneuver things to keep Price away from the Yankees.

Second guessing before the game actually takes place - now that's trolling for you!

■ I loved the late Jerome Holtzman, but he contributed to the decay of modern baseball by inventing the “save.’’ It’s an overrated stat. It’s putting Trevor Hoffman in the Hall of Fame this summer and it has produced Craig Kimbrel, who is a different pitcher in save situations vs. non-save situations. With a three-run lead, a clean ninth inning, and a cast of Orioles and Rays coming to bat, Kimbrel is one of the best pitchers who ever lived. He strikes out more than half the hitters he faces. In non-save situations, it’s a different story. Kimbrel is in his walk year. He wants saves. But Alex Cora needs to forget about the bogus soft saves and use Kimbrel to get the big outs. And Kimbrel needs to be on board with this.

It's obvious to me that some people are born to complain about damn near everything. Shank is one of those people, fortunate enough for him to get paid doing it. Read on for more bitching and moaning.

The World Cup

... is going to start (Russia vs. Saudi Arabia) in a little over an hour, and we should anticipate any manner of Shank's Hot Takes on the subject any time now.

Obsessed Much? - II

Former Boston Red Sox 1st baseman Adrian Gonzalez left the team on August 25, 2012. Five years and ten months later, Shank's still lobbing shit in his general direction:

Adrian Gonzalez, "The Cooler" ran another team into the ground and was released by the Mets -- fittingly -- after a Sunday Night Game.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 11, 2018

Remember when Shank mentioned Adrian Gonzalez in the same sentence as Ted Williams? Good times!

Second Guessing

Leave it to Shank to question the Red Sox, who currently lead the major leagues in wins:

Are the 2018 Red Sox gold medal-bound or simply fool’s gold?

Hard to tell.

The Sox just lost three of four at Fenway (selective stats? no way! - ed) to bums from Detroit and Chicago, but still have more wins than any team in baseball and are on pace for a franchise-record 108 victories. They could become only the fourth team in the Sox’ 118 years to win more than 100. The Sox’ three other 100-game winners went to the World Series and two of them won the whole thing.

Funny how this column comes out after a Red Sox loss, isn't it?

Let's You & Him Fight! - II

A public service reminder from Kirk Minihane:

I have no dog in this fight, but it’s important to note that Shaughnessy is an asshole. And I don’t think Curran drinks during Patriots games. Just saying. https://t.co/aNBtnrxa61

— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) June 9, 2018

Let's You & Him Fight!

It looks like Shank and Tom E. Curran aren't friends anymore:

Tom Curran is a client of this twice FTC fined snake oil salesman and publicly sings his praises as a health care guru and he questions Dan Shaughnessy's journalistic credentials and methods?

— Mr. O (@seospider) June 9, 2018

Curran is Edelman's business partner in a book deal. He is a client of Alex Guerrero. Reports on both. Like most in sports media he has opinions about teams he never covers in person (C's, B's, Sox). And here he lectures us on journalism. https://t.co/PuuLy9H7Iz

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 9, 2018

Dream On?

Using a theme lifted straight from Wednesday's Felger & Mazz radio show, Shank's got a thing for LeBron James, impending free agent, becoming a member of the Boston Celtics.

The nationally televised “Decision” show will be a classic. Can’t you just see it now? LeBron James and Jim Gray sitting on stools, holding microphones, making small talk. Finally, after 40 minutes of verbal foreplay, head-bobbin’ sock puppet Gray says, “Well, LeBron, what’s it going to be?’’

And the great one exhales deeply and says, “I have decided I am going to take my talents to Revere Beach.’’

Revere Beach? Really? Come on, Shank!

Just like that, the Greatest Player of All-Time announces that he will finish his career with the Boston Celtics.

It means so much. It means that LeBron will grab Frank Ramsey’s No. 23 from the rafters, Pitino-style. He’ll also reserve the rights to No. 6 (LeBron wore 6 when he won in Miami) and No. 32 (which Bron wore at St. Vincent-St. Mary High School). If Bill Russell and Kevin McHale don’t like it, too bad. The Celtics will become LeBron’s team now.

Then again, stranger things have happened.

UPDATE AT 2:40 PM - One last dig at Shank:

The silly topic is sports talk radio gold.

Yeah, like we couldn't figure out that one!

Bipolar Shank

It was a little over a week ago that Shank was shitting on the Red Sox. In a classic passive-aggressive move, Shank nostalgically waxes his carrot, pining for the glory days of Red Sox past:

pic.twitter.com/9OEMm8SqyZ

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) June 8, 2018