DHL Dan CLXIV - The 'Mea Culpa' Column

Or - The One Where Belichick Gives Shank An Out:

In the spirit of the season, there are more than enough apologies to go around, and a few other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while laying out cold cuts and chips for Sunday’s big game in Foxborough . . .

A wee bit too early for that, isn't it? And why isn't he doing a traditional Buffalo Bills recipe (as I will) for the game, Buffalo Wings?

Pro tips here - a) cook the wings on the grill, not in the oven; b) coat the wings with flour & paprika so as to help prevent the wings from drying out; and c) your blue cheese recipe can be a mix of shredded blue cheese (I use Danish blue cheese) and sour cream, with a pich of mayonnaise.

▪ As you are no doubt aware, Bill Belichick on Monday apologized to reporters for his miserable news conference after losing to the Colts. Belichick’s remarkable act of contrition filled us with the spirit of Christmas.

Taking cues from the greatest coach of all time, let me take this opportunity to apologize to those who may have been offended in this space over the course of 2021.

Sorry, Ed Davis. There was no need to poke fun of you week after week about “cracking the case” of the David Ortiz shooting in the Dominican Republic. It was never personal. You are a great guy and a much-respected cop.

Do I detect just a bit of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm here?

Jackie Bradley Jr.? It was not necessary to highlight your .163 batting average on a weekly basis (but he did anyway - ed.). I’m pretty sure the metrics show that you were just unlucky. Welcome back to Boston, dude. We look forward to all the great catches in center field.

UMass football? Can’t say I’ve been wrong about this, but it’s certainly not the players’ fault and perhaps we don’t need to keep reminding everyone that Division 1 was a mistake. Sorry.

Mindful that space is precious, let’s bundle other personalities who perhaps misunderstood my attempts at constructive criticism.

In the spirit of Belichick, here’s a massive mea culpa to Garrett Richards, Sean McDermott, Tiger Woods, Sam Kennedy, Aaron Rodgers, Danny Ainge, the Cheatin’ Houston Astros, all soccer owners who attempted to form a Super League, J.D. Martinez, Naomi Osaka, everyone at NESN, Bob and Jonathan Kraft, Kyrie Irving, Craig Kimbrel, John Calipari, the New England Revolution, Brad Stevens, Megan Rapinoe, the anti-vax Red Sox, Geno Auriemma, Tom Werner, Rob Manfred, Ortiz, and Cam Newton.

I could go on, but there’s a big game coming up and we don’t want this apology to last longer than the Beatles’ “Get Back” documentary.

Can you imagine how long this coulum would be if Shank offered up apologies of questionable sincerity that go back decades? What if he 'apologized' for slagging the likes of Roger Clemens, Nomar Garciaparra, Pedro Martinez, Johnny Damon, Theo Epstein (AKA the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column), Bill Buckner, Carl Everett, and Jeff Stone, just off the top of my head?

Now that obligatory and insincere apologies are out of the way, let's get back to cricizing athlethes, shall we?

▪ Nice job by selfish anti-vaxxer Cole Beasley exercising his “personal freedom,” which makes him unavailable for the Bills’ biggest game of the season. Fellow unvaxxed receiver Gabe Davis will also be out for Buffalo Sunday.

First - this is disingenuous - Beasley's not on the sidelines for not getting the 'vaccination'; he's out because he's contracted the virus. Is Shank not aware that vaccinated people can contract and spread the Wuhan Flu just like the unvaccinated? There are many concerns why someone won't go for a 'vaccine' - potential blood clots, myocarditis, heart arrythmia (since your heart's inflammed after myocarditis) and what might not be currently known about these 'vaccines'. I for one will not be getting any more 'vaccines' based on these facts, having suffered multiple 'cardiac events' as my doctors euphemistically call them; I'll wait for full FDA approval before the next one. Also consider - I got an MMR booster vaccine (Measles, Mumps & Rubella) two years ago, about fifty years after receiving the first one. Now that's a vaccine, not this 'booster' flu shot stuff, which is how this virus is currently shaking out.

Here's a shocker - Shank knows about other bands besides the Beatles & the Rolling Stones:

▪ Former Dodgers All-Star center fielder Brett Butler went to the same high school (Libertyville in Illinois) as Marlon Brando and Adam Jones, the guitarist for Tool.

Here's Tool's Danny Carey behind the drumkit wearing a Larry Bird jersey.

Merry Christmas, everybody!