The Bullshit Meter Is Redlining

For the first time in about five hundred years, Shank does not get to enjoy a Boston Globe funded vacation to Fort Meyers, FL this spring in order to tan his pasty white Irish skin and shit on the Red Sox for a few weeks. It's enough to make you weep, isn't it?

What I will miss about Red Sox spring training

NOT FORT MYERS, Fla. — I miss baseball. I miss the Red Sox being a pleasant diversion and an important topic of conversation at this time of year.

I miss spring training.

Red Sox pitchers and catchers report to Fenway South this week. Player physicals are scheduled for Wednesday, with the first workout for pitchers and catchers Thursday morning. The first full-squad workout is Monday, and the Sox’ Grapefruit League opener is Feb. 28 against the Minnesota Twins at Hammond Stadium.

This guy's been shitting on the Red Sox with regularity, and we're supposed to believe absolute bullshit like this. The more likely explanation is that he doesn't get to escape the New England winter (and lord knows what else) for a few weeks.