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Saturday, May 30, 2020

Spoken Like A True Misanthrope

Shank attempts to find a positive side to the reopening of professional sporting events, sans fans:
If professional sports resume in July, August, or September, it’s going to unfold without fans in the stands.

We don’t know if promoters will try cardboard cutouts, crash-test dummies, carpool-lane mannequins, or blowup dolls to populate the seats. And we don’t know about simulated crowd noise. Teams and leagues might go the Indianapolis Colts route and pump in artificial crowd noise.

This could give Miami Sound Machine a whole new meaning (date yourself much? - ed). Maybe teams will play Kenny G and “Jock Jams.” The summer and fall of 2020 could be a good time for Queen with lots of “We Are The Champions,” “We Will Rock You,” and "Another One Bites The Dust.''
If I want to hear that shit for the four millionth time, I'll just go tune into WZLX where, like Led Zeppelin, Tom Petty and Pink Floyd, it's played once every single fucking hour. Come to think of it, I can also tune in WBOS and hear the same stuff, or WROR, and now add a fourth Boston area radio station to the 'classic rock' genre, WODS.
I know what I’m rooting for: the sounds of silence. And I don’t mean Simon and Garfunkel’s epic hit.
What's a column by Shank without a song reference from the 1960's?
Let’s have some peace and quiet. Do not disturb. Fenway Park could become like the reading room at the Boston Public Library.
I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. I tried watching some Bundesliga soccer last week (also without fans), which lasted about ninety seconds. It's simply not the same without fan interaction; it's lifeless and sterile. I also think professional sports runs the risk of losing decent sized chunks of its fan base on a permanent basis. For myself, I refuse to watch any of this substandard 'product' when it comes back - no NBA, no NHL, no MLB. I'll probably make an exception for NASCAR and Formula One and even then, this will be in the back of my mind, and I believe it will be in most people's minds as well. Time will tell if Shank changes his mind on this one once he starts watching this crap.

Oh - and of course he takes another shot at Robert Kraft. This guy, in the words of Curt Schilling, really is one of the most bitter humans on the planet. As befits miserable people, Shank devotes the rest of the column to focus exclusively on poor / negative fan behavior, which is why it needs to return as soon as possible.

2 comments:

  1. Hes bitter because the royalties went down the toilet once this city started winning and he knows it

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  2. In 1990 I saw him sitting at a table at the New Englan Sports Museum at the Cambridge Galleria. He was trying to sell his The Curse book. I told him his articles against Bill Buckner were wrong and he tried to dive Buckner out of Boston. He said, "Fuck you." I said, Buckner helped get them to the World Series and you couldn't carry his jockstrap." He said, "Fuck you," again. No one was around to buy his book or hear him, but I said, "Nice way to talk in public," and walked away.

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