NOT MIAMI — No Super Bowl party this year. No Star Market sheet cake with little plastic goalposts and a gridiron painted in frosting. No carefully planned delivery of chicken wings Sunday at 6 p.m. No bet on the over/under, or on how many times Tom Brady will be mentioned by the TV commentators in the first 10 minutes.That's impressive bandwagon commandeering right there, folks!
Sure, we reluctantly will watch the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers at the appointed time, but we don’t really care which team wins. We have no dog in this fight. The Super Bowl will be played Sunday night in Hard Rock Stadium, but we are not into this game the way we’ve devoured it almost annually since the turn of the century.
Super Bowl LIV unfolds on Fox Sunday at 6:30 p.m. Swell. Why would we care? This game does not involve Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots. After all those years of No Days Off, we find ourselves with Too Many Days Off.
In addition to the offense committed by ordering chicken wings and not grilling them yourself, Shank also pretends to be a fan as noted above just so he can take a shit on everybody. Nice guy, isn't he?
Total fraud
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