Shank On The LA Chargers

The columnist who's spent the past five or six years pretending to like the New England Patriots and deriding every other team in the NFL as 'Tomato Cans' now sees a worthy playoff opponent.

This won’t be a typical playoff layup for the Patriots

I am the Tomato Can Whisperer.

I know Tomato Cans. I invented the genre. It’s sort of like creating Facebook or discovering your own solar system.

Just a bit overboard with the self-praise there, Shankaroni...

I identified the fraudulent Texans when they were 11-1 in 2012. I called out the hideousness of the playoff Colts in 2014 and the divisional-round Titans last year. Along with many others, I easily marked the Bills, Jets, and Dolphins of the AFC East (Warhol) Division. Trust me, I know Tomato Cans. I am to Tomato Cans what J. Robert Oppenheimer was to the atomic bomb.

And let me say this to the Los Angeles Chargers: You, sirs, are no Tomato Cans.

If you can stomach more of that bullshit, go right ahead and click that link.