Today we have another column in a continuing series of Shank rewriting column themes in order to criticize the New England Patriots in every conceivable fashion possible.
All of it is very real.
And none of it means anything.
Things really are frosty at the top of the Patriot pyramid. We are not making this up. We have the sound bites from Tom vs. Time, and Tom with Oprah, and Tom with Jim Gray, and Tom abruptly ending interviews when he gets asked about Alex Guerrero.
Bill Belichick is still angry about having to trade Jimmy Garoppolo (he did not deny that he texted Jimmy G after every 49ers win last year). Bill isn’t happy that he is forced to tolerate Guerrero in the locker room and on the team plane. Bill is never going to tell us why he ordered the Code Red, and he will mock any reporter who pins their hopes to a phone bill or objections from disgruntled ex-Patriots.
But that's not my main point of contention with this column. Rather, it's the continued assertion of Shank's (and local radio people) that the AFC East is a horrible, terrible, awful division chock full of patsies and 'tomato cans':
In dramatic lore, they were known as Famine, Pestilence, and Destruction. These are only aliases. Their real names are the New York Jets, the Buffalo Bills, and the Miami Dolphins — New England’s ever-wretched competition in the AFC East.
What has been true in 15 of 17 seasons since 2001 (since Brady became Belichick’s starting quarterback) is true today. The New England Patriots, with all their flaws, simply cannot lose their loser division. For the millionth consecutive season, the Jets, Bills, and Dolphins are reinventing themselves with kid quarterbacks and doofus coaches.
Funny you mention doofuses, Shank! This column theme is used every single year and, like this column, Shank does not offer up any statistics to back up this assertion. This 'tomato can' division theme of his is completely unsupported by any meaningful examination of team and division records over any peroid of time, and Shank (to the best of my recollection) has never done this in the past ten years. This blog
keeps pointing out the
outright lie this is each and
every single fucking time this lazy son of a bitch brings it up, yet it never stops. Nor will our rebuttals.
The worst part is Shank is oblivious to all the other NFL dynasties -
ReplyDeleteThe 1970s Steelers dynasty won seven of eight AFC Central titles 1972-79 (only the 1973 Bengals - 10-4 like the Steelers - broke that string and did so on the conference record tiebreaker) and only five times did another AFC Central team make the wildcard in that span.
The 1981-98 49ers won thirteen of eighteen NFC West titles and while there were thirteen NFC West wildcard teams in that span in the end the Niners were rarely challenged for the division.
The 1990s Cowboys dynasty won six NFC East titles in a seven-year span (1992-98) and six other division teams made the wildcard.
In the Belichick era the Patriots have won fifteen of seventeen AFC East titles and eight times a division team made the wildcard.
So those other dynasties only made it because of a stupid Andy Warhol cliché, right Dan?
Don't give facts when there is an agenda here
ReplyDeleteJason Herra - good point.
ReplyDelete