Shank's Annual Patriots Jihad Starts Early

Do you need an example of Shank attempting to create controversy where it didn't exist before? Behold, his first column on the 2018-2019 New England Patriots:

The team that hasn’t played a game, or held a full-squad practice, is the team that’s dominated our sports news cycle over the last 5½ months.

The Patriots are unavailable for comment. They are unaccessible unless your name is Oprah Winfrey or stooge Jim Gray. They hold no official team news conferences. They won’t even trot out Sarah Huckabee Sanders to promote the gospel of Foxborough.

In this absence of news and explanation we try to connect the dots. We devour words from “sources close to the team.’’ We comb the internet for cryptic tweets and Instagram postings. We try to crack secret codes and discern hidden meetings. We examine photos of Tom Brady at the Met Gala or Bob Kraft at the Rich Guy Retreat in Idaho. We monitor Bill Belichick sightings on Nantucket and watch Gronk at a dirt bike event. We study “Tom Vs. Time” the same way we dissected the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper album to see if the lads were sending a message that Paul was dead.

Way to relate to current fans - cite an album that was cut while I was still crapping my diapers!

This column reeks of every single negative thing Shank can muster and throw against the wall, hoping some of it will stick.

Also - Globe comments are wisely turned off for this column. Given the hostile tone, it's not surprising.