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Sunday, August 28, 2016

DHL Dan - LVII

Nothing says lazy and mailed-in column quite like a transparent attempt at pretending to like the local professional sports teams and using college-bound kids as props to make the sale.
Time to go. It’s the saddest weekend of the year for parents of 18-year-olds who are loading up the Volvo for that maiden trip to Syracuse/Ann Arbor/Ithaca/Name That College Town.
Because everybody drives Volvos and sends their kids to expensive jock factories like Syracuse and Michigan. No snobbery there!
All the stuff is packed. Pillows and linens from Bed Bath & Beyond. Foam pillowtop mattress. Hot plate. Bean bag chair. Pop-up hamper. Power strip. Xbox. Flat screen. Mini-fridge. Microwave. Laptop. Beer pong kit. Shower caddy. Flip-flops. Framed photos of the family dog. Posters. Winter coat.

Here is something else that’s making the trip . . . something that takes up no space in the family wagon: Our kids will go off to college carrying the love, care, and pride they have for the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins.
You know, the same 'love, care, and pride' that show up in none of his columns. What a fraud.

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