DHL Dan - XLVIII

No, this isn't a picked up pieces column, but reading Shank's opening World Series missive gives the distinct whiff of a column half written while taking a dump in the bathroom:

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Perhaps you don’t care about the World Series. Understood. A lot of folks in Boston don’t care. The Red Sox have morphed into a perennial doormat, far removed from the postseason baseball conversation, and it’s all about the Patriots these days. The Patriots play the Dolphins on Thursday night. Kickoff is at 8:25 p.m.

You mean the doormat that's won three of the previous eleven World Series? There's no other word to describe this guy besides shithead.

From there, Shank devotes the column to fellow pasty white Irishman Dan Murphy, second baseman of the New York Mets, who played with Rob Gronkowski's brother in college. That's the column, and you're welcome in advance for saving you the chore of reading it.