This Bandwagon Needs Reinforced Axles

Dan Shaughnessy, the raving hypocrite who buried the Patriots earlier this year, who vowed not to judge this team until January, and who took a massive steaming shit on them a mere ten weeks ago, just grabbed the reins of the bandwagon and is riding high!

F OXBOROUGH — The Patriots  beat the Dolphins, 41-13, to win the AFC East Sunday. Praise the lord and pass out the hats and T-shirts. The Warhol/Tomato Can Division belongs to New England once again.

In other news Sunday, New York City was named one of America’s five biggest cities, Amazon is among the top booksellers in the nation, Willie Mays is one of the best 100 outfielders of all time, and “The Godfather” and “The Godfather Part II’’ are worthy of at least two stars out of four.

This is not meant to diminish what the 11-3 Patriots have accomplished this season. We all know that this Patriots team feels better than recent local playoff entries. The Patriots are playing like a Super Bowl team. But we also know that winning the AFC East is a mere formality. It’s like Navin R. Johnson (played by Steve Martin) from “The Jerk” bragging that his name has been published in the phone book.

Throw in your modern, up to date band reference to go with your modern, up to date movie references...

The quarterbacks in the AFC East this season are Brady and guys name Geno Smith, Kyle Orton, and Ryan Tannehill. It’s Paul McCartney . . . and Wings.

...and your pro forma cheap shot at the owners you hate...

I don’t even think the Kraft high chairs were at maximum elevation.

...and it's a wrap.